The Art of Apologizing: Building Stronger Relationships

[00:00:00] Well, document. In fact, I'm actually a huge movie buff, like incredible, incredible movie nerd. I have been for years. So fair warning today, I've got some movie references for you that are gonna bring some real truth to the subject that it's time. We talked about, what am I going to do? What are you worried about?

It's not like your face is on the side of a bus. I'm the one who's going to take a hit for this. Why don't we just get me on the news so I can make a statement, apologize. I mean, that's what the people want to hear. You're probably right. Make a statement of some kind, try and sound sincere. Just give me a break.

One of the most honest moments in movies. If you're not familiar with the 2003 movie Head of State with Chris Rock, the premise is this one party knows they're going to lose because their main candidate dies. And so they pick an underdog, low level politician that they can frame as a people's politician that they And so they can be the first party [00:01:00] to run an African American for the office of president.

Want to get that play in so they look really great since they know they're going to lose this one. Well, he gets caught on camera saying some stupid crap that bites him in the butt and everybody's freaking out. So he tells the team, Hey, let me apologize. It's what they want. It's an amazing truth, isn't it?

A lot of things could be solved with an honest apology. So let's get into it.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential, growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question. In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast.[00:02:00]

Out of curiosity, can you think of one relationship that you let go because maybe they didn't apologize and they should have, or just saying, maybe one you could have saved with an apology that you didn't. I wonder about these things in my own life, because I always want to learn from every situation that I can, even if that means in hindsight.

So I actually think about things like this all the time, playing back through old relationships. Okay. And I've asked myself those very questions and truth be told, a lot of problems would go away with the simple yet extraordinarily powerful words of, I'm sorry. By the way, my name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast, your home for all things man.

A big shout out to Fallible Nation. That's our normal listeners. We love those guys. And Hey, a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Thanks for checking us out. We know that there's a lot out there [00:03:00] fighting for your attention. So it means a lot to us that you decided to check in with us. Be sure and reach out to me at the fallible man on any social media platform, but especially Instagram.

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You know, let's get back into this

now [00:05:00] as people, we tend to not just Hold on to, but hoard our hurts. That was good. Our hurts, our pains, the slights rather real or imagined. We have almost this masochistic need to be wronged. I don't understand it. And often we feel the need to be victims in today's society. In fact, they encourage us to be victims, which I really don't understand.

But as men, this mindset is not only counter to our mental and emotional health, Just like it is with women, but for men, it's actually even worse because for men feeling victimized are feeling like a victim is emasculating for men. It actually really doesn't just hit our mental and emotional health the way it normally would.

It hits us at a biological level. We feel emasculated. We feel less manly to feel victimized. So it's a double whammy for us. [00:06:00] Well guys, today's episode will be short and straightforward. If you want to have strong relationships with people, whether that's a family member, your kid, your spouse, your friends, it doesn't matter if you want to have strong relationships.

You need to learn to apologize easily, quickly, and honestly. Now, I'm not asking you to be that guy who apologizes for every single little thing and for just existing, that's not apologizing. That's just weakness and insecurity coming out. I'm talking about actually apologizing for real situations, quickly, and honestly, if you want to protect the relationships in your life, you must be willing to humble yourself some, which for us, Some of us, like myself, that can be a little difficult, and I admit that, but I promise it is a saving grace for a lot of relationships.

So I've got three simple steps that can save or strengthen so many relationships in your life. Number one, you have to truly and [00:07:00] honestly be sorry that a rift was caused. It may not be your fault, and it usually takes two people to mess things up. Let's be honest. I'm aware of that. It doesn't matter if you want to take care of your relationships, be truly contrite, that there is a pain or rift that's been caused and want to actually fix it.

Number two, suck it up. It doesn't matter if you did something perfectly normal. It doesn't matter if you didn't do anything wrong. The other person could have taken it incredibly out of context, misunderstood, read the situation way, ration wrong, It might not be your fault at all. It might be your fault entirely.

Doesn't matter. Either way, be quick to apologize and forgive if needed. If you want to protect your relationships, I have literally apologized to people by saying, Hey, I'm so sorry, Bob. I [00:08:00] obviously didn't express that to you correctly and I poorly communicated. I had no intention of hurting your feelings.

Can we talk about it? I took responsibility. Bob chose to hear something totally out of context and be offended by it. Even though he knows me better than that and should not have taken it personally. He chose to do that, but I still was quick to apologize because that relationship was worth protecting.

And sometimes you have to do the hard work if that relationship's important to you. Number three, make it right. Words without action are hollow and meaningless. Do the work to right the situation or you're not actually sorry. It's like the old saying, are you sorry you did it or sorry you got caught? If you're sorry I bit you in the ass, that's not the same thing as being sorry to actually cause a risk to a relationship.

[00:09:00] If you're actually sorry, That you caused a rift in this relationship, then you're going to take action to do something about it and to write the situation. Otherwise, you're just sorry that it caused an inconvenience for you. Guys, it's that simple. It's a miracle cure. I kid you not. You can repair and strengthen relationships with a simple apology.

Two words go a long way. I'm sorry. No one wants to feel taken for granted, including you. Add pride and it destroys a lot of relationships. That never ever come back. So if I've ever taken you, our incredible listeners for granted, let me be the first to say, I'm sorry, this show is for you. It's about you.

And it's about trying to make your life better as well as mine. And I never, ever want to forget that. And I never intend to now it's your turn at the beginning of the show. I asked you if you let some stuff go, [00:10:00] well, guess what? There's probably some relationships in your life where you probably need to go and apologize.

To mend that relationship. It doesn't matter if it's your fault or not start with apologizing because you're sorry, there's a rift in the relationship, not necessarily for what happened, it's good enough place to start and go apologize to those people before it's too late to say that relationship guys is always, thanks for hanging out with us.

Thanks for listening. And it's always be better tomorrow because of what you do today. And we'll see you on the next one. This has been the fellow woman podcast. You're home for everything, man. Husband and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. TheFallibleMan. com for more content and get your own Fallible Man gear.