Discipline, Integrity and the Lost Art of Womanhood

[00:00:00] Today, we're coming at things from a different perspective. At the end of this episode of the Fallible Men podcast with Women's School founder, January Donovan, you will gain insights into what makes high value men in the eyes of high value women, learn what women want men to bring into families, learn about the negative pressures women face that who want to have more traditional roles in their lives.

Learn why a lot of women no longer have domestic skills and have an idea of how high value men and high value women can help build each other up better. Listen to this plea from January and let's get into it. Lead us, lead us. We need you. We need men in our life to lead us.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, [00:01:00] fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast.

Welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. You're home for all things, man, husband and father. Big shout out to Fallible Nation. That's our private community. There's more information down in the description below. A warm welcome to our first time listeners. Hey, I know there's a lot fighting for your attention.

So it means a lot that you've given us a chance and I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to reach out to me at the fallible man on most social medias and let me know what you thought. I'd love to hear your opinion of the show. Today, my guest is bestselling author and founder of the woman's school, a personal development company for women, January Donovan.

January, welcome to the fallible man podcast. Welcome. Thank you for having me here. I'm so grateful and honored and excited for our conversation. I'm, I'm excited. Uh, not a lot of women actually reach out to me to be on the show because it is generally a men's show. [00:02:00] But I think we have so much to learn from each other.

That's right. And I think it's time how we need to break the walls and barriers. So we we're going to today, how's your, uh, we, we start lighthearted here. So how's your uh, uh, ? How is, it's too early in the morning here. Uh, how is your, I can't even think of the word now. What's going on with me? The word is cool.

How is your trivia? There we go. We'll get it out there somehow. I need more coffee. Apparently. How is my trivia? Yeah. How are your trivia skills? Not very good. Not very good. Not very good. Okay. So, I mean, I could try, you could test it, but it's not very good at all. It's okay. It's okay. In which South American country can you indulge in a tradition barbecue known as asado?

Asado. Okay. Featuring a variety of grilled meats and sausages. Is it A, Brazil, B, [00:03:00] Argentina, C, Columbia, or D, Peru? Brazil. All right, guys, you know, the rules don't cheat. Don't jump ahead for God's sake. If you're driving, please do not write down your answer. Just play along at home. We'll come back to that later.

Now January, I don't do big introductions because no one actually cares. In your own words today, who is January Donovan? I'm a warrior for women. I'm a mom of eight. My faith is the most important part of me. I'm a teacher, um, and I am a devoted and faithful wife to my husband of 18 years. You really say eight children?

I have eight children, yes. You are incredibly brave, ma'am. Yeah, I'm really grateful. I want to If I could add that, I want to redeem the narrative of motherhood as not something that was designed to be hard, exhausting, draining. I think it's designed to not just to give life, but to actually breathe life within us.

And so, [00:04:00] I am determined to rewrite the story of motherhood in our culture today. I'm just thinking of when my kids were born, uh, going through that process eight times. Wow. Just wow. My husband faints, Brent. So just so you know, he's, he cut the cord on the fifth child, which cracks me up. And so I, I laugh because I'm like, I drove my house to the hospital, which if you know him, he's the kindest, strongest, like nothing bothers him.

I go to labor. He is what I call what I normally don't use the word hot mess. I was my wife's painkiller.

Went with a local, but like I had indentions in my arm. That's hilarious. Yeah. Small part. At point I bridged across the hospital bed from rail to rail and she grabbed onto me so she could push. It's real. Yeah. I, I had finger [00:05:00] fingerprints and nail think. January, what is your favorite childhood memory? Oh my God.

First thing that comes into mind, I had a very rich childhood. I lived, I grew up in the Philippines. It was a very poor country. I didn't see my parents for five years because that's how they immigrated here. So as a little girl, I did a lot of pondering by myself. And one of my earliest favorite memories to go for a walk at the beach in the sunset by myself.

And pick up starfish in the Philippines. You have this like starfish that's kind of different than your other starfish here in two different colors. And I would talk to God. I, I, I was a very strong memory as a child. And I think I was four or five years old. I kept doing it. It was just part of who I think who I became.

So that's a great memory for me, just me in the ocean. Beautiful memory. Yeah. There's something magical. I, I took my daughters to the ocean two years ago for the first time, uh, [00:06:00] out and the, the ocean on what the Washington coastline is not a warm beaches. It's, it's cold water. It's south Florida. Yeah. And, uh, but one of my daughter, my oldest daughter's favorite things we would get up is I naturally wake up earlier when I'm camping.

We would get up and hike out to the beach from our campsite and walk along during the lotus tide of the day and pick up sand dollars and put live sand dollars back in the water and play with the crabs, the big dungeon crabs on the beach and we just walk for an hour or more. It's just magical to me. I feel like the ocean makes you, reminds you of your, how small you are and how vast and beautiful the world is and how big it is.

It's unconquerable, and yet it's also so magical. I mean, there's just so many beautiful things, I think, that the ocean presents, and there's depth, and it's a whole world, and so I love it. It's like you can sit there for [00:07:00] hours. Mm hmm. Oh, and just meditate on the mystery behind the water, so. I could, I, that's my dream is to live in the ocean.

I, I, and to me, it's a, it's a gift that keeps on giving. So you guys have a physical location for your schools that are all online. So the woman's school is an online school. And the reason, you know, when I was 21 and I don't know if this is a question here, quite, I don't want to jump in, but there was, I, I never had somebody who taught me how to be a woman and I suffered for it.

I was a good girl and I ended up being just depressed, anxious, not really, I hated who I was. And so, uh, they came into time of my life where I met a mentor who basically said January, um, Do you know the woman you want to become? And I said, No, I don't, you know, I don't, I have no idea. And so let's design you.

And so I met with her for three and a half years and she helped me literally design the woman that I never realized I could possibly be. And so [00:08:00] from that, I think I was born really the call to say, why don't we have a school for women that taught women how to be a woman? So that we don't suffer unnecessarily and we actually become who we were, who God created us to be.

And so I drew out of school. I was 21 and said, we need to have a school that trains women how to be a woman. I was 21. It was this crazy dream. And so eight kids later and just kept fighting for this dream. And five years ago, it was very clear, you know, that we could now have an online school for women.

And that's really kind of how it evolved. I never knew. I just kept that dream close to my heart. I just, really believe in training women. I believe in training. I said, you train for, you know, war, you go to bootcamp, you train as an athlete, but there's no training on how to be a woman. And you expect us to live a life that's fulfilled and fully alive.

And it said, that's highway robbery. And so I just kept doing it. And so the school, I feel like, you know, first they took God out of our school system. Now they're taking women out of our school system and men. And so I think it was providential and say, why don't we bring the school into the heart of the home of both men and women?

We [00:09:00] actually have a man's school as well. And that's where the online school kind of. really evolved and it's becoming a grassroots effort, grassroots effort, to then train men and women in their own homes in context of a community, which to me I think is a way forward. We, we have to replace the current model of radical feminism.

The emasculation of men and the only way we do that is if we individually do our part by training who we are. So I was thinking, since it is an online school, right, you don't actually have to, you said you'd like to live on the ocean? My friend Jen moved her entire business to Costa Rica. I don't, I moved to Florida and it goes out her back door and go surfing.

But why not? You know, and that was, well, that was even the reason why we, we, we draw my husband and I are big sort of dreamers and I didn't know how to dream dreaming. I teach dreaming as a skill set. And so eight, uh, seven years ago we thought, well, where could, where would you want to live if there was no roadblocks set in [00:10:00] the ocean somewhere in the ocean.

And so you went one step closer and we pulled our whole entire family out of Virginia, our ecosystem and moved to Florida. To be close to the water because I like we could broadcast into 43 countries and that's where we're now we're in 43 countries in just four years and I don't have to leave unless I have speaking engagement, which is I'm very choosy about it because I love being at home with my children.

So, I think that's the gift of the, of our current culture. That you, you know, my parents could not be the Salem dad that they want to be but also fulfill, I think their call in a way that doesn't compromise family, both men and women. And I think we have that privilege now, and I really am grateful for it.

What is your weapon of choice for the zombie apocalypse?

My mindset. Your mindset? Yeah, because I think it's the only way we can actually fight the battle in front of us. is to actually become resilient, knowing how to think about what we're thinking, and be [00:11:00] resilient against the external, um, attack against us. That's what I would say. Um, eat well. You gotta eat healthy.

What if I sat down with your family, what is one funny story they would tell on you? What is what? What funny story? What funny story would they tell on you? I like to prank people. Yeah? Anyway, I'm such a teacher and I get so passionate and serious, nobody usually expects it from me. But I do.

So I, I love, I have eight children and it's, it's so fun. It's so alive. My home is alive. It's, I don't believe in chaotic home life. I believe in peace and joy and sure it's loud, sure there's moments of it, but I think that our home is sacred. And we need to redeem it. And I think that a woman has a role to play in her own home and how she shapes it.

And so I think that's why [00:12:00] women need training. Cause we don't know how to do that. We weren't born knowing how to, nor are we trained to know how to do that. We're not trained how to honor a man. How did both take care of ourselves, but also take care of a man and have children, how to cook a good, you know, yummy meal for your husband at the same time, hold firm boundaries.

I mean, you've got to, you've got to know these skillsets that creates a home that makes your husband want to come home and your children that requires training. You can eat one meal for the rest of your life and only one. What would it be? Eggs, eggs, eggs, although I've eaten 20 years, almost every day.

What's one random fact that people don't know about you? This is really hard for public figures like yourself. What's one totally random fact people don't know about you? Like, I can't eat peas. You can't what? I can't eat peas. I, I did an elimination diet trying to figure out what was going on in my gut.

Yeah. And apparently I can't eat English peas. Wow. That's kind of random. You're [00:13:00] right. Nobody would have guessed that. I am petrified of squirrels and I teach mindset and I teach my management. I can manage my mind really well, except I haven't conquered the squirrel. I still don't like it. And I'm don't like lizards.

Is it like a traumatic thing as a kid? Are you just? Yes. Yes. Yes. So I, my first earliest memories, I grew up in the slums of the Philippines, so rodents and rats. And I think my recollection is that I had a rodent, I think crawl in my leg and I'm forever scarred, but I, we didn't have squirrels in the Philippines.

So that was my closest thing as a rodent when I came to the U S. So I just think. I don't know. I, I, some trauma behind it. Fair enough. It's silly. It's so ridiculous. I know it, but still. I, so. I grew up, English peas were the only thing I liked as far as vegetables when I was a kid. Turns out they're bad for me.

That's wild. Right? Never, [00:14:00] never. It was, I was on a, I went completely carnivore and then back into keto and then I started adding vegetables kind of one at a time, playing with them every now and then. And who knew, right. It was like the one vegetable I ate as a child and

never, ever would have guessed. I was like, why of all the vegetables? Why that one? Why am I favorite? Then I actually will eat. Um, what purchase of a hundred dollars or less have you made in the last year? That's had the biggest impact on your life. Courses, maybe, um, I don't know. I guess impact on my life speaking.

So I've had to speak most of the last 20 years because of the work that I do, but I don't like it. Um, but I actually took Simon Sinek's speaking course, um, because I had to be on the same stage with John Maxwell and [00:15:00] Ed Milad. And I don't look for the stage. I use it because I believe in my mission. That was very helpful for me.

Okay. That's legit. Hey, you know, speaking is the number one fear in the world, like public speaking, number one fear. So I always think of the quote, Vernon Howard, the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you hold. And I kept that in my mind because. I always feel like the things that we are afraid of are often really mask or really our purposes and that has become for mine.

And so, um, you know, I speak because I'm called in the gym. We say the exercise you don't want to do is the one you probably should. Yep. That's the same idea. What is something everyone should know before we dig in? About myself or just about the world? It's about you.

I feel like, [00:16:00] um, there's a new feminism movement that's brewing to replace the old model of feminism. And I feel called to help women replace that new movement. And that movement is the woman that is whole. So we're replacing the broken model of feminism. I'm creating a new one called a whole new woman.

All right, guys, we've been getting to know January just a little bit, who she is a little bit about her in the next part of the show, we're going to dive into entrepreneurship, school purpose, and raising the bar guys. I can already hear the questions about why I'm talking up to a woman about woman's school.

Bear with me. I guarantee this conversation is going to take time. We're going to roll response and be right back with more from January Donovan. Are you tired of tossing and turning at night, searching for that elusive, perfect pillow or just better bedding in general? [00:17:00] Well, look no further. Our podcast is proudly sponsored by MyPillow, the renowned American pillow manufacturer.

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So why wait? Head over to mypillow. com slash TFM or call 800 796 9775. That's 800 796 9775 to order now. You can't be your best without a good night's sleep. And my pillow delivers guys. Welcome back in the first part of the show. We just spent some time getting to know who January Donovan is. And this part of the show, we're going to dive into entrepreneurship, school purpose, and raising the bar.

Now, January, you're a successful speaker, author, entrepreneur, coach, wife, mother, podcaster. Did I miss anything? Nope, that's it. What do you do in your spare time? Wow. Um, so, I, I, I spend time with my family. And if I'm not, my spare time is really in the ocean. I love that. That's my quiet time and that's what I love to do.

Um, [00:19:00] I just love being with my family. I really do. So that's what I do in my spare time. Oh, I love to cook. So I'm a huge cook and my husband really loves and much home when I cook. So I still cook almost every day. And in spite my crazy life, I have, you know, I've help at home, can help me prepare, but then I'll do the clicking.

So. You cook with your kids out of curiosity. I cook with my kids because competence builds confidence and if they can own the kitchen, I can prepare them for life. I'm I'm a huge fan of cooking with children. Okay, yeah, it gets messy, but you have to teach. So I'm a big fan of cooking with my children, but I also really make sure they know how to clean.

So I tell my children in the kitchen. I make sure they cook as a clean. So I'm. You know, prep work all the way up to cleanup work and the meal. So, and also just learning to have conversation. While cooking and really raising the bar for mealtime, you know, they said that we have now 30 percent of Americans are opting out of dining table.[00:20:00]

The sacredness of family life is no longer the norm. And so I think most children, as you can see, are suffering this life of loneliness that makes them susceptible to. Evil makes them susceptible to being manipulated, drugs, alcohol, and part of that is because families are not actually, we don't have the infrastructure to be together on a daily basis.

It's pretty passion on behalf of men who are like, I, I pay a lot of attention to the fact that men and women aren't being able to being taught to cook anymore. I've talked to so many people from teenagers up who have no idea how to cook anything. I think it's such a vital life skill that everybody should learn to cook.

Uh, I know some men who would say, well, you know, my wife cooks, can you cook? Because you need to pick up the ball. I'm a big fan of that. Uh, [00:21:00] for our first anniversary, I cooked my wife an eight course meal. Oh, you're a whole new level, I would say, Brent. That would not be. Well, you know, I think we have disregarded some of the most basic foundations.

So when I think of cooking, it's not just about, you know, You know, producing this meal, there has to be sort of, what's the meaning behind it? And, you know, when you feed the physical, you also nurture the spiritual. And I think that's how we need to look at cooking. And we used to have home economics class.

I did. I mean, maybe you did too. We had woodwork. And so I feel like we've erased that. And now we have an obesity problem. We have eating disorder. We have, you know, also crisis and, you know, mental health. And I tell people what you eat impacts your thoughts. We have evidence of that. But anything psychological it gets, you know, is biological.

So what you put in your body impacts who you think and feel. And so we can't afford not to actually fuel our body with good food. I would also add that I think men and women should learn how to cook, but I also [00:22:00] think that there is a place for women to actually learn not just to cook, but actually to nurture.

We don't have to be expert cook, but we have to, as women use. you know, what we have in our home to nurture people to fight actually the battle outside our homes. So I think women should really learn how to cook. The problem with cooking is that women don't have the skill of cleaning or prepping or a routine or boundaries that actually helps them to create an ecosystem where cooking and eating and nurturing becomes part of a way of life.

And I will also add, we should really learn how to cook for them. Like something that we, that's special that we can have for him. And even though your husband, like my dad knows how to cook, there's just that little place that makes it extra special and say, I'm doing this and just for you. And I think that's just one way for us to, I think, feed our man and feed that love and we've lost that artistry and in womanhood, I believe.[00:23:00]

So you said that your mentor really kind of set you on a path that you're on now. And you created the woman skull, which honestly, like just from an outside perspective is incredibly brave, uh, modern era because, right. I'm, I'm sure that you get attacked. By feminists left and right tell us about the woman's school Let's be here.

Yeah, you know, what's fascinating. So I find so when When we started the woman's school, it was very specific to mindset and skill set and as a matter of fact I don't even actually talk about the word feminism. I really don't because I find that I didn't want the roadblock, language is a roadblock, and when the language becomes divisive, they're not really willing to listen, when in reality, they would probably be open to it.

And so, when the Women's School really started, it's just teaching women how to design every part of their life. [00:24:00] And, what I'm seeing is that there's actually universal hunger. For women to feel alive in who they are in their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health and their friendship and their intimacy and their contribution, which is an extension of their career and their wealth and their environment and their family life.

Feminists and non feminists actually it's a uniting front. And what I find is that if we just replaced and gave women a language that wasn't so divisive, they actually want it. Who doesn't want to be peaceful and joyful and fully alive? Who doesn't want to be admired as a woman by the men you admire the most?

Who doesn't want to have meaningful friendship? Who doesn't want to feel as though they're mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually fit? Who doesn't want to have an abundant life where they have and their resources that's more than just enough to pay the bills, but extra to actually support, um, You know, their family.

I think we all deeply desire it. The problem is that how? And that's what the Women's School is. It's essentially a how to school, Brenton. I think we've been robbed of the [00:25:00] how. That's the problem. It's like, go for your dreams. How? How do you dream? Dreaming is a skill set. Make sure that you plan your day.

How? How do you plan? We make 35 decisions a day and we do not have decision making skills in our school system. They tell us what to do, but not how to do it. And so people are wondering, something's wrong with you. I always tell women, nothing is wrong with you. You've just never been shown how to do it.

And that's what the woman's school is. We have to give women it's not just about empowerment. It's about equipment. It's about discipline It's about sacrifice because our world right now if you think about it is integrity the norm No, but see a woman who lacks integrity suffers. She is not trusted She doesn't like herself because she can't trust herself.

Her relationships are chaotic She wants to live a life of integrity. She doesn't know how to live a life of integrity. Honesty is a skill set. Children don't necessarily know how to be honest. We assume that they [00:26:00] do. And so just because you're a born woman doesn't know you know how to be a woman. And so that's what I would say.

But I also think that there is sort of where the last three years we have seen, I would say, a great awakening of people that are seeing all the massive evil that's happening, all the craziness and the corruption. And people that were sort of resistance, resistant against, you know, what it means to be a woman where you feel like it was vulnerable.

I feel like right now the world is actually ready and the world is saying, you know what, I know I do not want to be undefined. I want to know that I'm valuable as a man, and I want to be the first one to honor men. I do not want to be part of the, You know, the problem of emasculating men. I'm not here to want to be a man.

I'm not here to replace men. I want to be woman right next to a man and rebuilding our culture together. I'm done with this old model of feminism that, that really eradicates both men and women. Now it's gone to this radical extreme. We are tired I [00:27:00] think the world is hungry for a new model of women. I've actually been really excited on social media to see.

The younger women right in the, who are hitting that 20 ish age who are starting to go. No, I don't want to go work full time. I want to have a household. I want to raise children. I, I don't want to go to work all the time. No, I'm, I'm really would like a man who takes care of things and, and it's been just a breath of fresh air to see, uh, start to cycle back to something that I'm, I'm 44.

So I would. To me, that's like a norm, right? Uh, those, those more traditional concepts as people like to call them it to cycle back to something that I see as a healthy normal. It's like [00:28:00] women, women have this value and these skills and this presence and this ability that men never will. Vice versa. We are, we are meant to work together.

Mm-Hmm. . Right? I don't know how we keep ignoring this concept. 'cause you see this balance everywhere in the world. Well, I think we have to look at the history of the radical feminism and what they were trying to basically eradicate, which is essentially the genders. You know, where the idea was that we just want to be make sure we're all human, which was noble at some degree, but essentially, it erased also our unique ability, both as men and women and what we offer the world uniquely that cannot be replaced.

But I think what we're seeing right now is 2 radical extremes. Trying to find a way to actually find that balance like any other movement or any other things in history when we look at, you know, first woman could not vote, no choice, no voice, nothing to now, whatever you want, whatever you feel like, and what we [00:29:00] have right now is actual data that they just came out right now and, um.

Yale of, in spite of all the opportunities and freedom that women have, women are actually unhappier. They did a recent study on it. Why? And we have to ask ourselves why, with all the external achievements and freedom that we have, women are actually not free. So I think the new movement towards sort of the center is interior freedom.

Which I define the freedom apart from external circumstances. So I think that's what we want as women is that, you know, we want the true freedom that's not based on what we can produce in the world, what we offer in the world. So we're just coming into, I think, that medium, which I think is the most exciting time to be a woman.

Because now we've got data to prove it doesn't work. It does it doing whatever you feel like, whatever you want, just because you can does not work, it leads you to your own demise. And the idea of eradicating men does not work. We need men, we need it every step of the way. And so I think that the pushback.

Is based, I think, now on data [00:30:00] where before women push back, but they were completely ostracized for it because data couldn't prove it. Now we can. And so I think that we're just going to see this new surge. Um, the problem is that there is. A small, I would say very extreme people that are really just hitting every institution of government, replacing motherhood, birthing parent.

I mean, this whole idea of transgender is imploding in itself because now it is actually causing both men and women to wake up and say, I don't want my daughters to be in the same bathroom. I mean, tell me, Brent, what would you do if that man came into your nine year old daughter, 12 year old in the same bathroom being like, no, I have the right to be here.

I mean. He's not going to last long with all these fathers. The fathers is saying no more. And so what we're seeing is that it's evil implodes in itself. And that's what we are seeing right now. And so. We have to push back. And that's where my [00:31:00] passion and I said, if, if not you, then who, if we don't speak up, we won't have a country.

We won't have men and women. They've done way too much to eradicate both God, our genders in our country and radicalizing our institution. The only hope we have is a grassroots movement towards actually becoming whole and fighting back. And so we don't have a choice. If we want a country. in the next five years.

We don't have a choice if we want safety for our children, our faith, to be able to practice our faith, to be able to defend family life. I mean, I can't stay silent in the face of a massive attack on what it means for a man and a woman. The fact that Men are afraid to actually say, I want to be a man and I want to protect women and without women attacking you.

What has become of women? When they have become so prideful, they are incapable of receiving the help of another. [00:32:00] We don't want that anymore. We need men and we don't only need men. We want to honor men. We want to celebrate men. We don't want to just celebrate them. We want to put them in the rightful place just because I can protect myself.

That doesn't mean I want my husband to protect me. And so that's, we're tired of it. So I'm seeing that shift. And I think actually I'm seeing such a rise in men pushing back against the masculinization of men and the sphere that, you know, you're going to get attack. It's like, where has the strong men gone?

And I think we're seeing them, they're rising. It's you, it's men that are saying, no, I'm not putting up with this. I'm not putting up with this. You know, what's ironic, right? As we look at the way things are, we, we, we talk, use terms like liberal, conservative, right, left, right. My biggest audiences are in the most liberal states.

This is not what you would consider a liberal show. Uh, we have very [00:33:00] conservative values here, not overtly political. I'm not shy about it. It's just not what I talked about on my show. Um, I've sat on a couple of political shows and trust me, I will. Say exactly what I feel about this Uh, but it's Like my biggest, my biggest audiences are in New York and California.

That's crazy. That's really telling. Right? That there's a hunger for it. And I mean, and you know, here's what I think about politics. I think that good people are not in there because we've been so busy trying to raise our family. So we need to have, we need to put good people in there, but that's not where we're going to win this battle.

We have to win this battle soul per soul, family per family, couple per couple. Because a lot of, you know, what is it now? 30 percent of Gen Z don't believe in marriage is why they probably don't know. Or haven't witnessed, because it hasn't been modeled for them, what it means to be incredibly in love, alive [00:34:00] in marriage.

Because what is being advertised is divorce, crazy chaotic motherhood, life ends when you're married. I mean, that's why we have to replace that current model that's being pushed as a propaganda narrative and say, where are the beautiful marriages? Because if we lived our marriage so beautifully, if we understood what a beautiful woman is, more women would want to be fully woman.

Thank you. It's just that the model has been so distorted, right? If they understood that family life could be so abundant, so full, so enriching, and so full of joy that it's not this stressful, hard, chaotic, then maybe more people would want to have families and preserve it and defend it. But we cannot have that unless we train the woman, which is why I'm passionate about the, you know, the school we have for, in the woman's school, in the man's school, because we really need to train women to remodel the current model of family, of faith, of being what it means to be a woman.

We need a new model. Now guys, I promised you this was going to go [00:35:00] in a way that was going to be worth your time. And we're, we've been leaning up to this conversation as we move through with what January is doing with women, because she's right. This takes both sides being in harmony together. You in getting ready for the show.

One of the things you had written down was we were created to live a life of meaning and contribution. Now you believe people are born with a purpose and I do too. We were holding a sink on that. I know a lot of men who struggle with self worth. How do you help the women you work with believe that they have that meaning and they were born for something?

Because I know so many guys struggling with this, but convincing other people that they were born for a purpose, for a meaningful purpose. It's a great question. How do you handle that? Great question. So let's first understand how even your self [00:36:00] worth was shaped because that will then we can reverse engineer it.

So let's just have kind of a common understanding that every human life is valuable. Nobody will ever be you and nobody will ever be you. So the first thing that we need to understand is how then did I come to understand that I am actually a valuable human being? Well, we are objectively valuable, but it was subjectively revealed to us, meaning if I had a dad who loved me more when I, did well in basketball, I might start to think that I'm valuable only if and when I can produce great work.

What if I, you know, I was in a group of guys and all of a sudden what made me valuable is my popularity, right? And so I start to think that, Oh, I'm valuable. I'm more important if and when I'm popular, or I'm not actually important because I'm less popular. Or we are in this, you're in this culture as a man and you realize, well, What makes you actually more important people like you people love you people give you attention if you've got this whatever perfect [00:37:00] body right whatever the muscular body and so what's happening now Brent is that we have conditioned both men and women to believe that their value is based on what they can offer the world.

It's subjective. Why? Because it was given to them subjectively based on the people that revealed it to us. But also our school system, you know, we value people who go to Ivy Leagues, get an A, and We place conditions on somebody else's value. So what I am, so that's the first thing is understanding how our self worth was shaped subjectively so that you're sitting here and you're like thinking to yourself, well, I always think that I'm more important when I've got a strong body or.

You know, I'm, I'm making X, Y, and Z and that has become a programming in your subconscious mind. So our brain is like a computer, it's like a program, right? So I know that this is a pencil because from the moment I was three years old, [00:38:00] I was told this was a pencil through the process of repetition. It's literally forming a wiring in my brain.

So if I tell you this is a phone, you're going to look at me bright and you're like, that is obviously not a phone, right? So if I tell you your value is. Unconditional, nothing changes it, but you have been told all these years, they're only valuable and more important, only if and when you make this much money, your body's perfect, you're going to tell me, no way, January.

Because what's happening is that those neurological programs comes into our 95 percent of our brain, our subconscious conditioning. So it doesn't matter what I tell you. It matters how it was shaped in your neurological wiring, just like you learn a language. So what's the solution? So right now, most of the world.

have been conditioned to believe that they're only valuable if and when. Their performance, right? So what do we need to do? Now, we have this beautiful tool in the last 30 years that has really given us a lot of ammunition called neuroplasticity. If people have had a stroke before, they learn to [00:39:00] walk again.

Why? Because they're rewiring back in their brain. So this model can tell us, well, If I don't believe I'm worth it, if I feel I have a low self worth and I don't feel I have a purpose, what we need to do is replace the conditioning in our brain, literally, through neuroplasticity. So how do we do that? We rewire our brain and we say, I'm valuable because I am, regardless.

That needs to happen as a rewiring formula, just like stroke victims. Learn how to walk again, as if you're learning a new language. If you spoke English right now, it's like learning French. So it's a very neurological process. That's step one. Number two is that you have to give yourself evidence. of your self worth, meaning you have to look at, you know, your unique, I would say, experience of the world, your DNA, your family that you're in, your aptitude, what you like, what you don't like.

And you look at [00:40:00] that combination and you realize, Oh my goodness, like nobody's ever going to be this person in the world. Therefore, what I offer in this world, nobody can. So when you just pause and actually give yourself to think how valuable it is. to be who you are because nobody can do what you do because of your unique combination, then you have to convince yourself that you're so important because nobody will ever be you.

So, and the third thing is that you have to grow in competence, meaning you have to develop your skill after skill. Confidence comes from competence, a lot of time women say, I'm just not confident or a man says, I'm just not confident. Well, where does confidence come from? How do you become a great speaker?

You develop speaking skills, competencies. And so I tell men out there, if you have a low self worth, number one, you have to rewire your brain. Number two, you have to give yourself evidence of your value. Number three, you have to develop skill set after skill set after skill set, which is why we need training.

And then that process is actually going to open the door for you to [00:41:00] realize, wait a minute, I have a purpose. Thanks. I've got something good to offer this world, but all of this is not going to make sense unless actually you work through it. It has to be a process. It's like, you're not going to see yourself.

You know achieve that gold medal unless you actually start training for it.

About two years ago I posted my most apparently controversial post On social media. I had no idea it was controversial at the time, but people responded to it I had one person like I got flamed hard Hmm, and it was a simple post. I think it was like ten things every man should be able to do. Hmm And I had someone, I mean, it's just go ballistic, right?

Why, right? It's like, well, and, and I had someone tell me, I was like, don't, don't even bother to engage them. Like I [00:42:00] argued this out with them knowing that it's a losing proposition until I started to put it into context for the person. Because they didn't bother to look at my channel. Right. They didn't bother to go, Oh, he talks mainly to men.

So that's why he's addressing men. Holmes, like, look, honestly, I think everybody should have these 10 skills, but I talked to men. So my posts are addressed to men. They're like, Oh, it's like, and these are all like basic skills. Right. But they're basic. Uh, as you said, competencies, right. Yeah. Men used to stack as just part of what we learn growing up.

When we had classes like home ec, when we were involved in things like the boy scouts, when we were at our parents feet, learning, like I learned how to sew from my grandmother, right? They were basic competencies. Like I can sew my clothes because I learned how [00:43:00] it's in our house. We would patch holes instead of throw away pants because pants were expensive.

Right. Basic competence skills. I find more and more people, both men and women, are just not collecting. Yeah, no, we're not. And often, I'll just say, Brian, our wounds blind us from the truth. So, whatever, sometimes I've come, you know, especially in my line of work, You've got people that resist it. You have to see, I have to see it in their own wounds, you know?

And it's not that we can't learn from the feedback, cause I'm always learning from the feedback, but really people are coming in and they resist and they fight, they scream. And then you have to look at wonder why. Oh, because it actually hurts to hear the truth. And that's why often a lot of times people, and I think social media is just a platform where we've lost grace.

We can say whatever we think and feel we've lost. This idea of communicating as a, as a [00:44:00] woman, as a lady, or even as a man, you know, where we can barf all over our words without accountability. We need to have a better sense of discretion as a man. And that's why I feel like we need training because we don't know how to do it.

Matt, I mean, sometimes I look at the things that women say on social media and, um, their response is very telling of who they are, more importantly, who they're not. And so we have to, I have to know who you're dealing with. And there's no standard of grace anymore. Like a woman can say whatever she feels, right?

And there's no discretion. We've lost the sacredness of what it means to be a woman. And I'm sure men. This is a men, men are on the same path. We're seeing some really crazy things. Uh, I, I hate the term that I I've seen the term Manosphere out there. And I listened to other [00:45:00] guys talk who are in the quote unquote Manosphere.

And we have guys, you were talking about that, you know, those extremes. It's the same thing where we're hitting these extremes. I was like, okay, well, we have guys who are. Okay, being walked all over, and then we have guys who are thumping their chest, grunting, saying we should just eat red meat and forget women and, uh, right?

We don't have conversations anymore. We don't know how to have conversations, and that's precisely my point. We don't know how to actually talk to each other anymore. We don't have the skill. It's like you only hang out with people who believe in the same things you believe. What, how, how are we ever going to change the world if I can't break bread with people who have opposing beliefs and have the humility to learn from them, but also have the firm boundary to offer my belief?

Without having to feel like we need to be this emotional wreck. Part of the problem is that we've lived [00:46:00] in a world where there's no emotional command. Whatever you feel like becomes a God. And so women and men have no command of their emotion. So everything gets heated because there's no sense of reverence for the human person.

And it's about how we feel and think. We've lost a sense of that's interior self discipline. Both men and women, and that's why I think the way forward has to be a new model of what a man and woman is, where she's not a pushover, both men and women, but she's also, like you said, not this incapable of listening to somebody outside of her own opinion.

But see, to be that kind of person, Brad, requires a lot of patience. Discipline, which is one of my favorite words. I love the word discipline because an undisciplined woman suffers, but so does an undisciplined man, and a disciplined man can conquer the world and the heart of the woman he loves an undisciplined man will squander it.

Discipline to me. makes a man out of a man. It, it, and it does for a [00:47:00] woman. And I'll tell you, women resist the word discipline, right? Because they resist anything hard in a culture that wants immediate gratification. I'm like, behind a beautiful life and a beautiful woman, not based on external, is a woman hard at work on her interior discipline.

And that truly is where fulfillment comes. It's where a beautiful marriage comes. It's where our beautiful family comes. It's where and how we are going to actually defend our country into your discipline. We have to revive words such as discipline, integrity into your, into your freedom is actually new.

These things want us to almost be kind of this honor, right? When you look at, when you look at the men before and the women before, when you look at the Greek, history and sure there's a lot of baggage that comes with it. There was honor. Where's the honor of what it means to be a woman and a man? I, I believe that we, [00:48:00] we're ready for that.

We're ready for that new model of manhood and womanhood. We are tired of what we have. We're just not offering a solution and that's why I think, you know, in the women's school, I say, I don't want another empowerment. I want the solution. And the solution is you need to be a woman of discipline. You have to conquer yourself.

You have to, you can no longer be a victim to your own emotion, to your past, to your present. You can redesign your life and make it a life of both meaning and contribution. You can't design a beautiful life as an end in itself because that's not even fulfilling. You can't just hoard all this materialism, all these things that you want for your sake because at the end of the day, that also will be unfulfilling.

And that's why women need to learn the skill of living a life of contribution. You can't give what you don't have. But see, the secret gift of a woman is receptivity. We need to know how to receive. That's where our wombs are formed. That's how we have life. We receive from a man [00:49:00] and we nurture it. And then what we give life from it.

The problem is that we don't know how to receive from men. We don't know how to nurture it. Therefore we can't give life back to the man. The hell that's where the battlefield is. Guys. We've been discussing school purpose, raising the bar discipline, and just changing up the modern story because. It's just not working.

All you got to do is look around and you can see it. And the next part of the show, we're going to dive into how building a high value world works when we become high value men and women become high value women, and we work together with our sponsor. We'll be right back with more from January Donovan.

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The time is right to grow into the people we want to become. And this part of the show, we're going to talk about building a high value world. What that [00:51:00] really is going to entail is high value men who are raising the bar for themselves. And high value women coming together to form high value societies.

That's the, that's the direction we've got to go. I mean, the world's changing right now. Gym memberships are actually plunging. They're at an all time low. Men are abandoning the gym because there are so many of these young TikTok generation girls who are going in and setting up their phones just so they can shame men for looking at them.

But actually gym memberships are plunging in the U S it's no longer a sacred space for men. Uh, it's become every, every guy is terrified to get caught on camera. Now, looking at some girl coming in half naked, uh, which I still, as a personal trainer will never understand. You don't really, you don't have to take off that many clothes to work out.

Um, there's a movement, uh, known as the MIGTOW movement, men going their own way, which I've been railing against for the last couple of [00:52:00] years. I absolutely hate this movement. And the concept is. Women are basically good to gratify yourself with and we don't need them for anything else. They're nothing but trouble guys.

These are, these are horrible things going on, but all we see is the negative most of the time in the media, because that's what makes a good media cycle. January is sharing some amazing things with what she's seen with her clientele and the women around her. And we're doing some amazing things. You guys are incredible because you're here wanting to level up as men.

And so today we want to change that conversation together. So January, here's the game we're going to play. We're going to talk about how to build a high value society by helping each other, but what we're going to do is we're going to play a little ping pong. I would love for you to share one idea from a woman's perspective on how we as men can help a woman level up.

And then I will share from a man's perspective, how we as men are, how [00:53:00] we as, we'll see if I can say this right. We can, uh, from a man's perspective, a woman level up. Okay. So I would help. I would offer suggestions for men or I would offer suggestions for men from a woman's perspective. How do we help women level up and how can then I'll offer a suggestion on how we can help women level up.

Great. I love it. So balls in your court from your perspective, January, how is it that from a woman's perspective, men can help women level up? How can How can women help men level up? Um, I would say discipline your mind to discipline your eyes, discipline, how you look at other women and honor [00:54:00] your current relationship.

That's one of them. Um, okay. So discipline, we are loving the word discipline today. Just such a bad rap, but it's such a valuable, valuable thing. Only a good man would think it's a bad rap, only a bad part, you know, like a man who doesn't understand the value of it would think it's a bad reputation. You need to discipline our eyes.

Discipline your eyes. Yeah. And it goes to don't fall for fallen women. What I mean by that is if a woman has no command and self respect in the way she carries herself, be very mindful of that.

One of the ways that women can help us as men level up, and I'm going to get a lot of guys who are going to be really pissed that I said this, Reintroduce the mystery. A little modesty goes a long way. Um, don't, you know, [00:55:00] if, if you aren't, right, why are we going to level up if we can get it all for free? I love it.

The mystery of a woman. needs to be in marriage. It doesn't actually end. I actually teach women what it's like to have reverence of yourself in context of marriage. You don't squander. So yes, I don't, you know, I think there's a mystery even physically, but also I think intellectually, I think that there a man should want to be hungry to learn from you and vice versa.

If you're as a woman, you're constantly learning. And growing. And so you have this such rich conversation that makes a man just want to be a better man just by simply being around you. I 100 percent agree. How about another one for us? How can we help y'all level up? [00:56:00] Um, cast a vision for us, cast a vision of a future.

Um, what I mean by that, honey, or whatever. Um, what would, what would it be like, where would we be in a year from now, whether it's in your family, whether it's a marriage or just the world. Let's say you're single out there, cast a vision and say, I want to live in a world where women were respected. I want to be able to, you know, be in a marriage where we were both inspired.

So be a man of vision, sell us on a vision of a world that's better than our current world. It's so attractive when a man can pass a vision. I'm absolutely an advocate of men pursuing their purpose before they pursue women. Because if you're pursuing your purpose, it will attract a woman who will pursue that with you.

Okay. [00:57:00] Don't go into a relationship thinking you're going to change us. Instead, become a woman that inspires us to want to change ourselves. I love it. It's, it's the only way I think. Women need to just stop and just try to change a man and just change themselves to be an inspiring woman. And that's the only way to change anyone.

There's not, I always say, I'm like, don't even put that thought in your head. Don't, you know, don't even just love them where they're at. Live a life that's inspiring and make a decision if this is a man for you or not. But to change them and to hope for that is a false reality.

I do invest in your life of wholeness. And what I mean by that is be a man who looks at every part of your life, not just your wealth, but your family life, your intimacy, your friendship, your physical, mental, emotional health, and [00:58:00] inspire us by being very intentional about every part of your life and how you want to design it and how you want to conquer it.

Because that inspires us to also live a life that feels whole, which means every part of us is accounted for, it's designed, and also it feels fully alive, because It's not just my career, it's not just, you know, my body trying to be, you know, strong and fit. It's every part being valued. That's inspiring.

It's a whole version of a man. I like it.

Bring something to the table. This is, this will take the steam out of the big town movement so quick. I've seen a guy who actually goes around and asks women what they bring to the table in a relationship. Modern women in their pursuit to, uh, feminism or whatever, what are you bringing to the table in the relationship?

Have something, you may be a beautiful [00:59:00] woman, but you have to bring something to the table besides just your beauty. If you want a high value man, then you have to be a high value woman who brings something to the table. You have to really be investing in yourself. You know, to, to, to continually do that my turn.

Um,

I would say, well, I'll do that next. I would say pursue your woman, conquer her, make her feel important. Pursuit I think is a beautiful word for a man. Cause it really, I think is rooted in their nature, in my opinion, to conquer, to pursue, um, if you're married out there and you're a dad. Don't take those little things for granted to make her feel important and special, whether it's date night or making her feel beautiful or those little things.

[01:00:00] Never stop pursuing the woman that you love. Guys, this is something I can tell you. As my wife and I are quickly approaching our 23rd anniversary, this is something I failed at for a long time, right? This is something I had to reintegrate into my life on my own journey, was we hit that stride and I just stopped actively pursuing my wife.

It took a good friend of mine. Telling me is like, I've been dating my wife for 20 plus years. I was like, I am dropping the ball, right? A hundred percent ladies. Can I just say something though? I'm sorry. Right. I was just going to say a woman also needs to create the culture to be pursued. Cause if you're naggy, if you're not inspiring, if you're not learning anything new, if your life is not lived with also a vision and a purpose, then you're not It's going to be hard to pursue you if you don't make him feel important or cook his favorite meal or dress up for him, not [01:01:00] for the world, for him.

Smell good before you go to bed. I always tell women, put a perfume before you go, but not for your sake. But that's when you put perfume for your man. Be worthy of that pursuit. Those little things goes a long way. Beauty is often in the details. And so don't lose sight in those things. If his favorite thing is orange juice in the morning, that's what you do.

He's the most important person in your life. Make sure that is actually, um, that you practice it. And especially when you have children, when the priority becomes your children, never lose sight that your priority is actually your husband before your children. Never lose sight of that, right? Just have to plug that in.

I like it ladies. There's nothing that excessive mileage adds value to. Um, I, I saw a clip the other day and the average 20 year old has had over 20 [01:02:00] plus partners. That's unbelievable. By the time they're like 20 to 21 in the modern era. Okay. Now I'm, I am a Christian. I think you should try and wait till marriage.

I'm not going to pretend that I actually managed to do that. Okay. Okay. I understand that, but there is nothing in the world that high value mileage brings value to. And I understand women want to be liberated or whatever these days. I was watching an interview with, it was like, I think it was either Charlie Kirk or Ben Shapiro, and he was talking to some female porn stars.

And it's like, they, they're not understanding why men don't want to be involved with them as they exit their careers or while they're still in their careers and it's like,

I don't understand how this is a hard value for you, uh, or a [01:03:00] hard concept, right? So distorted. And I won't say that guys, you should be any different. Like really, you should be trying to save yourself for that forever person. I'm not going to lie and say, I made that. I wish I had, because my wife did. What an honor.

And so, you know, high mileage doesn't make anybody better in that area. Uh, I know it's, you know, Oh, we're liberated. Screw that. Right? Hold something back and be worth the wait. Well, I think it's even a slavery. It's not to be liberated. It's a false sense of liberation. Because I'll even bring it down to the reality that sure they can do whatever you want when they're in those closed doors They're insecure.

They don't like themselves. They're wondering if this man is ever gonna call them back. They're disgusted who they are. It is modern day Slavery [01:04:00] to do whatever you want, whatever you feel like with whomever you feel like so don't sell yourself a lie It doesn't feel good

guys. I hope these tips are Registering with you. I hope they're helping now January You work with women all the time, and you're seeing their insecurities, you're seeing their struggles. What, what, what do you want to tell men about interacting with them?

That's a great question. That's a really, that's a really great question. Be patient with women. They've been cast into the wolves, some of you, but be patient with them because nobody's showing them how. Um, when every single time a woman comes. and they have all these wounds [01:05:00] and it's not working, ask yourself, who showed them how?

How to be kind? How to be truthful? How to be trustworthy? How to firm boundaries? Nobody's showing women how today. Um, that's what I would say. And um, don't lose, don't lose hope on us. I think that when you lose hope, then you just squander yourself as well. And you don't think there's good women out there.

Have hope that There's great women out there who want to do something meaningful with their lives, just because the media tells you, you know, this, um, is a recent influencer that's been, I think, becoming famous. Her name is Pearl. I'm sure you know who she is, maybe. Um, and I think men are resonating with her because she's defending men, and I think she does have a lot of good points, but in her defense of men, she's devaluing women.

And it's making us believe that all women are just [01:06:00] undisciplined and horrible. And I'll say, then you've lost hope in what it means to be a woman. Therefore you've lost hope when it means to be a man, because there's no way we can do it without each other. So don't lose hope on us and be patient with our journey.

Um, don't settle. I'd say. Like, push back, don't settle when men say, well, I can't, when we become a victim of our emotion, we're stronger than that. Women are, don't, I always say, you know, like, I, sometimes we make, women make excuses that we just can't do it because it's hard or we're just emotional. Rise up.

And so we need men that's going to say, no, that's, you're better than that. You don't have to be a victim to an emotion. You don't have to be a victim just because you're on your period doesn't mean you can lash out at me. That's not right. Just because you had a bad day at work, that doesn't mean you have to bleed.

Your negativity into our home life push back against a lesser version of a woman and that's how we raise the standard for each other I [01:07:00] love it. What's next for january donovan any big projects in the works? Oh, gosh. Um Yes, I am in the process of um I really want to reintroduce the rise of a new woman, which is Buckminster Fuller, who designed the Epcot, said, you can't, and I'm paraphrasing, you can't find the current model.

You have to break it and actually create a new model. And so my vision is to write a book and say, we cannot, the current model of woman, the feminism and what it's been is no longer workable. We're fighting the wrong battle. This is how it should be. And this is all the fractions of feminism. We need to reintroduce a whole new model of women.

And so that's in my, um, my vision is the rise of a new woman. Which is who is she? Who is she in context of our current world? How will she fight this battle for faith, family, and freedom? How is she going to train herself to be a warrior [01:08:00] for truth, beauty, and goodness? Who is she for, for men? Who is she for family?

Who is she for our country? How will we take all the good from all we've learned in the past and incorporate to this new woman, but take away also all the bad that has also degraded us? and allowed us to settle. So that's, I think, the project for me is to reintroduce a new woman. I'm currently in the process of, um, actually doing a live launch and it's called the new woman masterclass.

And I'm introducing who is she and teaching women how to actually become that woman. So first the masterclass, which the vision For all women to have the foundation of who this new woman is, who is she, and the foundation of how to be a woman, and then write that book. And then hopefully off to Matt Walsh and say, listen, can't talk about the problem.

Here's the solution. This is how you become a woman for such a time. I love it. [01:09:00] Now, guys, let me give you a little advice. If what January is saying to you is resonating with you, You cannot just tell the woman in your life. Hey, you need to check this woman out. That's going to end badly

So you might share this podcast episode with her right with that woman in your life But telling a woman that she's doing it wrong It's going to end badly for you. I know I, I, for most of you don't have to say that, but I have to put it out there because someone's going to like, leave me some flaming comment about, Oh, I told my wife, she needed to go check out January stuff.

And we're getting divorced now, you know, don't, don't play that game. January, where's the best place for people to connect with you? [01:10:00] Um, so you can just find me at the new woman masterclass. com and that's kind of all in the whole Um what this new woman is for such a time as this but also on instagram I'm january donovan in the woman's school.

com. I think those are the best Places to at least reach us for those two things guys We'll of course have all of january's links in the description show notes. Whatever platform you're checking this out on You Now, I know you're all really concerned about what South American country you can indulge in the tradition known as asada, barbecue as asada.

You said Brazil. The answer is Argentina. Ah, that was my other one. Or you can just simply come to where I live, which has a 97 percent Hispanic population, and you can get great food anyway. Oh, great food. I love great food. Oh, yeah. We have the best Mexican food from all areas of the Hispanic culture here in town like mine, so I love a good food.

I have a friend who owns a [01:11:00] grocery, a Hispanic grocery, the deli case there's the best restaurant in town. Um, when I moved here, grandma and grandpa, we're still in the kitchen, kitchen, cooking things from scratch. Amazing. Now, January, if our listeners heard nothing else in this entire conversation, right, say they just tuned out.

What is the most important thing you want them to hear? Lead us, lead us. We need you. We need men in our life to lead us. Guys for January and myself, thanks for hanging out with us today. Be better tomorrow because what you do today, and we'll see you on the next one, this has been the fallible man podcast, your home for everything, man, husband and father, be sure to subscribe.

So you don't miss a show, head over to www. thefallibleman. com for [01:12:00] more content and get your own fallible man gear.