The 2% Solution: Dai Manuel on Embracing Change and Self-Worth

[00:00:00] Whether you like it or not, and whether you believe it or not, I'm just going to tell you, whatever change you feel is important for you to make, you're worth it. You're worth it. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, you know, you were born into this life and you are entitled to live a great life. You are just by being here.

We're all entitled to that and good to great. You know, anybody can be good, but greatness takes work. You're worth the effort. You can achieve it. It's going to be uncomfortable, but believe me, when you get to the other side of that, man, you're going to be so happy about yourself. But more than that, you're going to realize that any change in the future is that much more possible for you.

You're worth it. Make the change.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men we [00:01:00] dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities? Working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question. In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast.

Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things man, husband, and father. Big shout out to Fallible Nation and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Hey, We know there's a lot out there competing for your attention. So we appreciate you taking the time to check us out. Be sure and leave us a comment or review, reach out to us on social media at the fallible man.

Let us know what you think of it. We'd love to hear your opinion. My name is Brent today. My special guest is author, coach, TEDx speaker, podcaster, and more importantly, my friend, Di Manuel. Di, welcome back to the fallible man podcast. Oh man, I've always loved being back. It's nice to be back. It's nice to just to be here.

I was looking, it was like season three, I think that you were on. [00:02:00] Wow. So it's been a, it's been a minute, been a minute. Your, your introduction is getting longer. Cause you just stay in that whole ambitious streak and keep adding things. Oh, I just, I was going to say, just say it's that dude from Vancouver.

That works for me. I, we, uh, we've made a few changes to the show. How's your trivia? Sorry. How's your trivia? Trivia. Uh, I don't know. Let's find out. All right. We, here's the show question guys. What tropical thunder character was based on a combination of Russell Crowe, Daniel Day Lewis and Colin Farrell? Is it Tug Speedman, Kirk Lazarus, Les Grossman, or Al Pacino?

What? Say that again? Was this a question? What character from the movie Tropical Thunder was based on a combination of Russell Crowe, Daniel Day Lewis, and Colin Farrell? Was it Tug Speedman, [00:03:00] Kirk Lazarus, Les Grossman, or Al Pacino? Number one. Number one? Alright, guys. Write your question answer down.

Remember it. Don't cheat. Don't jump ahead. If you're driving, for goodness sake, please don't write and drive. That's a bad idea. We'll come back to that. Now die. One thing that hasn't changed. I'm not huge introduction. So today in this moment, who is diamond? Well, Yeah, I think the last few months have been figuring that out.

It's been an interesting time as I've had some pretty cool projects that I've been a part of this past year. Uh, 2023 has been just an interesting year, as I've said no to certain things that were working really well in my business to lean into some new opportunities. And of course, there's always a little bit of risk when you align with startups.

So, uh, Uh, it's still moving in the right direction, but it hasn't quite realized to the place where I expected it to be after a year involved with it, but it's still moving forward, which is exciting. So that's been a big change this year, but the last few months I've [00:04:00] reconnected with just sort of my own purpose and meaning and.

The things that I really get a lot of fulfillment from, and, and I'm back to doing a lot of that. And, uh, with that, you know, I'm now a podcaster as, as you mentioned in the intro, you know, I launched a podcast, uh, geez, I guess it's going on almost five and a half weeks now. Five weeks. And it's been so much fun.

And, um, but outside of that, I'm still a dad. I'm still dating my wife of, of 23 years. And, and, uh, still love just supporting people with change, you know, um, especially on the personal. Mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical, uh, side of things, uh, because, hey, we're, we're holistic beings and all those parts matter.

They all make up who we are. And so, yeah, that's who I am right now. What's your favorite childhood memory? Uh, you know, there's a, there's a number of them, but I gotta say, I really, I enjoyed doing long road trips with my dad. My dad loved to drive, and I remember that he took my brother and I on a big [00:05:00] summer trip, and we went down to, um, Mammoth Caves.

I forget the state that it's in, but it was just this amazing cave system, and we got to go down there and do a little Splunkin a bunch of these tours through these different caves, and I just remember being a kid and just absolutely loving that. You know, and, and just these long trips with my dad on the road.

And, uh, and then equally with my mom when she took my brother and I to, uh, Disney World down in Florida. And it was the 15th anniversary at, at Disney World, uh, just to sort of date myself. I think I was like 10 or 11 at the time, so I think that was 1986 or 85. And, uh, in Epcot Center, I just freaking, uh, I'm a big sci fi fan, so Epcot Center was my jam.

And, uh, we had just such a wonderful time and, and we drove down, we lived outside of Toronto, so it was that nice long drive straight down to Florida, along the East Coast. And, uh, it was just a, it was a really fun time. So you'll notice that most of the time it's around road trips. It's probably why my family and I tend to do a lot of road trips, especially we had five years of it, you know?

So, um, yeah, those are some of [00:06:00] my favorite memories. Now, now, full disclosure, guys, Dai is a friend of mine, like I said, so I actually avoided, for the trivia question, comic books and sci fi, because I knew you had that. Sure, so many of the stuff I'm not sure on. But it's been so long since I've seen Tropical Thunderman, it's been years, years and years, but, uh, I gotta rewatch that one now.

I'm usually trying to, like, guessing what won't line up with my, but that one I had a little heads up on. So, Dai, if you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Well, I love steak yams with a big honkin salad. And I actually, and I do that at least once a week. You know, I don't eat a ton of red meat, but I do have, try to eat a little bit of red meat once a week.

And when I do, you know, it's a good six to eight ounces of steak and some yams. And then on top of that, I just, I love these big honking, honking salads with as many colors of the rainbows I can put in there veggie wise. And for me, I just, man, I could, I honestly, I could do that every day. [00:07:00] Every day. No problem.

It's my favorite stuff. I get a bit of everything and I feel so good afterwards, like satiated but not over full and I think that's the key, you know, is learning what foods do we best thrive on. And that's what intuitive eating is all about as well, right? Is really getting in tune with the energy and the energy that's fostered in us.

And because, you know, if you need to take a nap an hour after you've eaten, there's a little bit of room for improvement. Okay, that's all I got to say. Now, the holiday silly season is upon us. So what is your favorite holiday movie? And what does that say about you? Oh, gosh, elf a hundred percent. And for those that know, I was even at that.

Coaching this morning, right? Um, so I still coach crossfit. I just love it. I love being part of the community I love coaching people in crossfit. It's just it's my jam. I enjoy i've been a personal trainer for 30 years So it's just that extension of community support And uh this morning, you know, i'm like, I love lifting lifting's my favorite, you know, like I love smiling smiling It's my favorite.

Yeah. [00:08:00] Anyways, I just I love l because I love that that playfulness That can be maintained as an adult. Cause I know that's in all of us, right? That inner child. And I think Will Ferrell just does it so naturally. Cause you just feel like he is just a big kid. You see him on social, you see him on movies.

He always plays that sort of quirky adult boy, right? And, uh, or man boy. And, uh, Elf is just such a wonderful movie and, and Jon Favreau, just to be honest, is one of my favorite writers, favorite writers. He's also a huge sci fi guy. If you guys aren't aware, he wrote Mandalorian as well. And, uh, just an amazingly talented writer and a good actor at that.

So he's happy in a lot of the Marvel movies, the Avenger movies. I don't know if people remember it happened, but, um, anyways, I, I dork out right now. So, uh, yeah, that's, that would be it. Fair enough. Like I actually introduced that concept to my daughters. I see, we watched enough Jon Favreau movies because he's done some great work, great director and a writer.

And so like, I, I like to [00:09:00] tie these things together for my daughters when we're watching stuff. Great. Like when we watched the jump live action jungle book. Oh yeah. Like happy directed this. Yeah. Like, wait, what? You know, I almost die happy. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, mind blown. So talented. So talented. But the way that he wrote the Mandalorian too, it's just like, Oh my gosh, because he's a huge comic book guy, right?

Like he just loves all the Star Wars lore as well. And I just, I'm waiting for him to write like a Star Trek because I think Star Trek needs a really good reboot. And I think he could do it. You know, I really do. What is your best playground insult?

Um, probably that my daughter can do more pull ups than you.

That's going to be accurate for a lot of people. I have a feeling. It's very true for my daughter, especially like my daughter. I remember her at age [00:10:00] four, she would come to the gym with us every Sunday. And, uh, I, she'd like, I'd have to lift her up to reach the pull up bar because you couldn't reach it.

Right. It's like seven feet in there. Um, and she just whip off pull ups like they were nothing. Like she'd do 10, 11, 12, like they were nothing. And, uh, yeah, so it was, it was always entertaining. Cause you know, people would come in and they'd be like. Huh? Yeah, perfect form. Just one, two. And she's smiling the whole time, right?

So yeah, that'd be my, my, my favorite playground insult for sure. What purchase of a hundred dollars or less have you made in the last year that's had the biggest impact on your life?

You know, I think if I'm really thinking about it, like I was going to think maybe it was something tech wise, but most of the tech stuff's a bit more than a hundred bucks. Um, cause I was going to say, I upgraded my mic and it's been really good so far, but, uh, that was a bit more than a hundred bucks. Um, it's probably gotta be like, [00:11:00] you know what I did, I, I upgraded, I bought a new roller.

Uh, like, uh, uh, there's a brand called travel ruler, which I really love. And, uh, they're about 50, 60 bucks, just awesome. And, but they're great because they fit in the size of, you know, a little backpack that can fit in your suitcase really nicely. It's, uh, you can put a couple of like lacrosse balls in it as well.

It seals up nicely, but, uh, I love it. I got a big roller because I believe in mobility and working through trigger points and all that good stuff, but it's one of my favorite products. And, uh, I. Highly endorse and recommend it for anybody and everybody that's got some physical ailments that need to work through well Pick yourself up a travel roller.

I was going to say, mine does not nicely fit. I just have a full size phone. Oh yeah, you get the big one. To travel though, like you see, I always travel with one. Like even when we were traveling around the world, I had my roller with me. The whole time. You know, so I just had to upgrade though. I needed a new one because my other one got so worn out after literally eight, nine years of using it.

It's just, it was getting pretty yucky. Chrissy wasn't even going to touch it anymore. So [00:12:00] I thought I'd better buy a new one, you know? If I sat down at your dinner table with you and Chrissy and the girls, what story would they tell on you?

Well You know, there's that, there's sort of the drinking version of Di, and then the sober version of Di, right? And, and they really only know the sober version. But I know Christy would have a lot of good stories to tease me and make fun of me, based on some of the ways I made a fool of myself. Uh when I would drink too much, uh, there's a reason why i've been sober for 15 years You know, but I I think yeah I think what would the kids really laugh latch on to?

There's a lot of those little moments, but that's a really good question I'd love to ask my kids because I know that they'd have a lot of ways to give me some pretty good jabs Probably, you know, it's me more so than trying to teach me tiktok dances Doesn't go very well. Let's just say that. [00:13:00] I feel like I need to start a tiktok channel where it's just literally dad moves and it will be just not very good.

Like it's just, I, and I don't have coordination. What was that one that used to be a really big one to do like the side to side? I don't know. Like it's, you're asking, we were living in Bali at the time and my kids are trying to teach me how to floss. And I am. Like, I think I'm fairly coordinated. I'm a pretty fit dude, pretty athletic, but I could not get it to save the life of me.

You know, and here they are all just nailing it perfectly. And I look like this awkward sort of big sort of lug. And, uh, yeah, that, that was pretty good. So they, they know I don't really have much rhythm. I think that could be like a very. Successful collaboration is daughters trying to teach dads, tick tock dances.

Yeah, well, I'll tell you, they, they could definitely do it, but, uh, I, I need to be able to follow up and I think it would be just not very positive. I think there are a lot of dads who can contribute to that. [00:14:00] I could just be a universal channel. Definitely. What's one random fact, totally random fact people don't know about you.

Which is hard when you're a very public figure. Yeah, you know, it's still amazing that a lot of people aren't aware that I have an autoimmune condition. You know, and it's chronic. It's like, um, um, or autoimmune disease. I guess it depends on how you want to frame it. They figure I've had it most of my life, but, uh, it really became prominent over a decade ago when I was hospitalized for almost a week and a half.

Where my body was systemically shutting down because I, I got this infection. And my body doesn't have any neutrophils, so it's an autoimmune neutropenia. And, and Because a lot of people see how healthy I am and the way I live my life and just Yeah, like most people with and I have a very very aggressive form of this like to the point that the doctors the hematologists Like they're rather perplexed.

You know, they often refer to me as the enigma because based on where my blood levels are, my neutrophil counts are, which are almost zero. So those that are into the medical field or health and you understand [00:15:00] how this works, neutrophils are produced by your bone marrow. I have very healthy bone marrow produces it, but my body kills it off a little bit faster than I can produce it.

So it leaves me at sort of this net zero level, which leaves me susceptible to viral and bacterial infections. Long and short of it, lifestyle choices allow me to stay in a thrive area, but I've also had to learn how to, you know, pull it back a little bit to, to ease off on certain things, to spend a little bit extra time doing recovery and, and nourishing the rest side of my life, you know, to, to keep stress at bay, to keep inflammation down and, uh, and that really helps, but sometimes, and you've, you know, this brand I've had to reschedule with you on some of our calls before in the past.

You know, and because I'll get a simple cold or a flu. And if it's a viral thing, my body is not very good at defending me against it. And, you know, most people bounce back in a couple of days, I'm down for a week, sometimes 10 days, like, and it doesn't happen that often because I'm again, very health minded.

And I want to stay in the Thrive Zone, [00:16:00] but man, when it hits me, it hits me. And so there's still a number of people that aren't aware of that. But it's interesting, as of late, I got an inquiry from the UK. Someone stumbled upon a blog post I wrote, like, nine years ago. And I guess there's very little information about this condition, especially over in the UK.

There's only a couple thousand people in the entire UK area that have it. So, um, they reached out to me, and I had this great conversation with this lady that's just been diagnosed with a similar condition, so. Anyways, I think maybe I need to start a Facebook group for it. I don't know. Hey, there, there's a whole nother thing to take care of, right?

Yeah. Well, geez, I don't know. Another thing. Yeah. But, uh, but yeah, that's something that I think some people don't know about me other than I'm also a total nerd and love comic books. The comic book king man out there selling comic books in your free time I was I was I uh took them all to the auction so I could pay for my kid's school.

So, uh, Yeah, it's I've kept only about 300. So from 8 [00:17:00] 000 If you were able to sell them off and pay for a good chunk of schooling for the girls That's that's huge. So yeah, I was able to pay for some of the schooling I didn't realize how much schooling is now versus when I went to university It's like Holy smokes, but fortunately one of my daughters, you know, she's she's Uh, just landed, I don't know, about 14 grand in scholarships and bursaries.

And so she's good. And then my other daughter, well, it's, uh, she's, she's working on it. You know, that's good. She's having fun doing great, but, uh, we'll see where schooling goes. You know, it's, uh, I think it's important, but also at the same time, I'm like, take a gap year, take some time off. You know, like you don't need to rush into school.

You just finished like 13 years straight of school. Why don't you take a little break, you know, because, uh, they've grown up in an ambitious household. Yeah. But. I really want to nurture that entrepreneurial side of them, you know, and, uh, fortunately they're, they're, they're really wise to that cause they've grown up with mom and dad always having a side [00:18:00] hustle, but also just always doing stuff.

So they're definitely big on the activity side, but now it's just a matter of figuring out, well, where do they want to make some money that also allows them to make an impact. And, uh, and that's what they're trying to figure out right now. You know, what's something that everyone should know about you before we dig into today, you know, that, um, I have a TEDx talk.

And a lot of people are like, Oh, you must talk about health, fitness, right? Maybe some mindset stuff. And I'm like, well, sort of, I actually talk about vulnerability in men. And then people are always like, Oh, you know, they're always really surprised when they hear about the subject matter of what I spoke about in my TEDx.

But, uh, just full disclosure, being a guy, you know, a man that identifies as a man and Caucasian man at that, and which, you know, is a whole nother heap of stuff, um, vulnerability was not something that was modeled or mentored to me growing up. It just wasn't really. Um, and so I was just doing what all the other guys were doing, and, uh, I do associate a lot of my struggles in my [00:19:00] twenties, my early thirties, especially around alcohol consumption and drug use and just not really doing the right thing when I deep down knew what the right thing was.

And I think it was because of this lack of ability to ask for help, but also ability to say no, you know? And, uh, so that that talk really dives into that pinnacle moment in my life where everything changed. And vulnerability became a skill that I started to embrace. Now I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying I'm trying to be vulnerable, simple, uh, but it's a skill like any other skill.

And I consciously and intentionally started to want to dive into how to be more vulnerable, be more authentic, be more transparent, be more connected, you know, with people, especially my kids, my wife, my closest friends, you know, even, even business relationships, you know? So, um, yeah. That's, that's what I like to share.

See guys, he talks about all the feels too. I'm not the only one. I know, Brett. I know. When we first met, I totally, I was like, Oh my [00:20:00] gosh, we're brothers from different mothers. You know, quite literally. Also being a father of girls, you know, I mean, we got a lot of the same thing going. Other than, you know, my hair only grows on top, doesn't grow down here.

Yours grows down here. You know, we mix and match that way. It's perfect. Right? Together we're like almost a full person. I know.

Guys, we've been getting to know Dai just a little bit, uh, who he is and what he's about. In the next part of the show, we're going to dive into everyone's least favorite thing, change, and see if we can possibly change your mind about how you feel about it today. We're going to roll our sponsor and we will be right back with more from Diving Well.

Now, before we go any further, I wanted to share with you guys. I don't always tell you how much I love doing my podcasts. Like I passionately love what I'm doing. And one of the things that makes my life better as a podcaster is to work with a company like grow your show. Grow Your Show is a one stop podcast do it all.

Now, I use Grow Your Show for my [00:21:00] marketing, but Grow Your Show is literally a one stop shop. You can record your episode and just drop it off with them, and they take it from there. It's amazing. If you are interested in picking up podcasting as a hobby, or maybe you're looking to expand your business and use podcasting in that aspect, talk to my friends over at Grow Your Show.

Adam will take care of you. I guarantee it. I trust him. He's my friend. He's my business. Colleague, and I wouldn't trust anybody else with my show guys. Welcome back in the first part of the show. We were spending some time just getting to know who Diamondwell is and what he's all about and having some fun in this part of the show.

We're going to dive into change in just a minute, but that we're having some fun. Let's let's kind of set the ground for this. Cause we talked about changing hair. Yeah. Tell us the story of Die, Manuel. Give us a little background. I'll give you the quick scan. Change, in me, we go way back. Not always in a positive way, though.

Because most of us, you know, [00:22:00] our relationship with change, it's not like we wake up in the morning thinking, Hmm, you know what I feel like today? I feel like I want to change something. Like, we just, we're rather change averse. Even though it's in our DNA, this thing called resiliency, and allows us to adapt and evolve, especially under times of extreme stress and duress.

Um, that's when we really have to pull through, right? We have to draw on certain skills that maybe we're not even aware that we have. But most of us, we are built to navigate change. To some level. And at least adapt to it. I was really slow to come to that realization. And, you know, starting off, you know, at age nine, I remember my parents separating.

That was a massive change, you know, for me as a kid, when the world was perfect at that time, no issues, no worries. And then to have boom, the bomb drop that parents are separating, ultimately going to divorce within a couple of years. And, you know, I'm dating myself, but this is back in like 1984, 85. We didn't have an internet like we do today.

I didn't [00:23:00] have endless amounts of resources to go and learn about what does this mean, because also there was a heavy stigmatization around Divorce back then. I mean, there's only one other kid in my entire class of 30 kids that didn't have their original parents together still, so It's not like we had this network or community to support us through that.

My parents did their best They could but they were both working full time and so it sort of propelled me in this next place where I was seeking not only validation and connection and wanting to feel more in control and I found that in food and video games and movie watching, you know, so I watched a lot of movies, played a lot of video games and ate a lot of, well, let's just say calories that would not fall on the side of being nutritious.

And sometimes you refer to these as empty calories. And that was my go to, really carby, really sweet, really salty. I mean, you name it, I was eating it. And, uh, after about five years, by the time I got to 14, almost 15 years old, I was [00:24:00] classified as morbidly obese. Again, big, big change that happened gradually over time.

And that's the thing with change. Sometimes it happens immediately. Sometimes it just happens like compound effect just takes time to get there. Sure enough, I leaned into wanting to make some changes. I got to a place and we'll get into all the story right now. And I actually think Brent on our last conversation, I talked a bit about that, uh, that time as a kid and, um, I made some big changes.

Took me five years to put all the weight on, took me about 20 months to take it all off and, and discover a new lifestyle and a new way of being. But sure enough, you know, as much as I got healthy by 17, 18 years old, I'd worked on the exterior, did no internal work and was still feeling like the morbidly obese that I was, even though I had changed this perception from other people, but that's how I felt inside.

Cause I didn't do anything to change my own self reflection and self. Identification and just really that introspective version of me, like, who am I? Well, I believed I was still the fat [00:25:00] kid that nobody wants to know, nobody wants to love, and really ostracized myself a lot of times until I discovered alcohol at age 18.

And then alcohol allowed me this vehicle to be somebody different. Who I believed other people preferred that person versus the one I was when I was sober. Because again, when I was sober, I felt like the obese fat kid that didn't want to do anything and wanted to avoid people because I was always worried and concerned that people were judging me.

Amazing what goes on in the mind of people, huh? I'm sure people can relate to this. That inner voice can sometimes be the loudest and, you know, meanest critic in our own lives. Possible. And, uh, So then fast forward, you know, another 13, 14 years and alcohol became a huge part of my life was building a company, you know, with a business partner and a great team of people were building up to eight figures a year.

I mean, it was scaling fast. It was a lot of fun, but on the flip side, I was also living this double [00:26:00] life and always struggling with this question. Like, I want to be a great man. I believe I'm a great man, but there was a huge disparity between what I believed and how I was showing up consistently. Which created a lot of these negative inner feelings, which I realized, well, if I drink, I don't really.

Remember those or I can ignore those. I can focus on something else. So you can see how this, this sort of dichotomy started to take over. And, uh, and then my wife asked me a question one day while we were discussing what it'd be like to co parent our kids and separate and divorce ultimately, which triggered me because then all of a sudden I'm flashing back to 1985, not like back to the future style of flashback, but actually reflecting on my own life, my parents separating and sitting us down on the couch that day to tell my brother and I, and all of a sudden it was just like, Oh my gosh, this is not what I want.

I don't want history to repeat itself because I love my wife, she loves me, I love my kids, I love her family. And, along came another change. And for those that want to know that whole story, the [00:27:00] TEDx talk, I dive into that. And then, you know, fast forward, I get two more years after that, Brent, I'm freaking, you find out I got this autoimmune condition, right?

And it's just like, whoo! So at the very least, everybody should recognize, yeah, I've gone through a lot of changes, but I know every single person that's listening and watching this, you've gone through a lot of changes too. And that's why we all have the ability to change and adapt. And we often are okay when we get to the other side of that change, but sometimes when we're going through it, we don't realize that, you know, and, uh, and it can be really hard.

It is hard. I mean, who are we kidding? Otherwise, we'd all sign up for change every day, all day. Um, so yeah, that's, that's a little bit of the five minute overview of all the different types of changes. Some of the biggest milestone changes in my life. And I, we, we both know that change is honestly the only constant in life, right?

We're always in some sort of state of change. Correct. Personally, the world around us, like nothing stays the same. But [00:28:00] as, as humans, we're terrified of change and we have varying levels of that, right? We have varying comfort levels. We got people like me who I eat the same thing at every restaurant. Like my wife can tell you what I'm eating based on where we're going because I find what I like and that's what I order at a restaurant.

Love it. Right. I don't like to change that up. I don't like to try new restaurants. I, my, my wife is the adventuresome one and she wants to try new places and go do things and I'm like, I'm good. Like personality differences. Right. And then we have people who only get uncomfortable around really big, impactful changes or things they'll see as impactful to their life.

What is it in us? That's so uncomfortable with this concept of change, do you think? Well, because it is hard for the most part. I mean, it involves us doing something very different than what we were doing before. And anytime that involves learning, it also involves making mistakes. Because we will make mistakes, [00:29:00] uh, and there's certain underlying beliefs that I think also limit us from leaning in to change, even though we know it's true, right?

Like Buddha, like 2, 600 years ago, he's like, hey, everybody, you know this universe of ours? It's impermanent. Huh? What do you mean by that, Buddha? Well, I mean, nothing stays as it is. In fact, everything's constantly changing. Now, in the last hundred years, science has caught up to Buddha and said, Whoa, Buddha was right.

Everything is mainly space. We have this law of entropy. Things are constantly changing and energy is floating between things, you know? And so it's really interesting, but we do recognize that, yeah, change is a given. It's absolutely guaranteed. It doesn't matter. Every moment I take an inhale of air, something's changing inside me.

Right? Like it just is, biologically speaking, chemically speaking. And so change is happening continuously. But our intentional ability to lean into change, that is a mindset, that is a choice. And it's [00:30:00] consciously saying, you know what, here's an area in my life that I know is holding me back. I know it's, it's affecting me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically.

And I know if I could change this one thing, I think a lot of other things would change as well. And this is why I love fitness as an example, because fitness is an activity that changes our health. Very quickly. It's not like you got to go to the gym once and you're fit. I get that. But if we continuously move our body a little bit every day and we're doing more than we did before we decided to consciously make the change to get healthier, you'd be surprised how quickly the body adapts.

Because, quite frankly, the body wants it. It wants it. It wants to move. That's what our bodies are built. Otherwise, we'd be born with no legs. Okay, we got legs Okay, like we we have the ability to be mobile right to amble to walk and so um Change is interesting, but you know I'm gonna nerd out just for a second, right?

And [00:31:00] then I'd love to hear your thoughts on this because I think you probably remember from the keynote last year Uh, I did at your event. I I shared a gif of of movie scene From Indiana Jones, and it's Raiders of the Lost Ark, and the first five minutes of the movie is just classic, right? You see Indiana Jones working his way through this tunnel.

And he eventually gets to this idol, this golden idol, and he gets the golden idol. And now he's got to escape because all these booby traps are going off. But just before he's making his final stretch to that cave entrance, this boulder that's like 10 times his size starts to barrel down behind him. And he's holding on to this gold idol with his life, right?

And he's like, running, running, running, trying to outrun this massive boulder that's just behind him. And then he gets out of the cave and, all right. Ends up losing the idol to Bellock, his archenemesis. Um, but regardless, this scene is the metaphor for all of us and how we experience change most of the time.

The change that we're trying to avoid, or feel like we're trying to avoid, is the boulder. And we're [00:32:00] afraid we're afraid of the change. So let's run, run, run. And especially if we've worked so hard to attain certain something in our lives, that goal that we've been working towards, because here's the crazy part, whatever goal you achieve, it's great.

You've achieved it right now. Awesome. Tomorrow, tomorrow's a new day, you're not going to have that anymore. You already did it. It's done. It's gone. It's in the past now. Now moving forward. So what's you know, and so we have to accept that these moments are constantly changing. Time is moving forward. It's not stopping and we can't stop with time.

It's going to keep moving whether you like it or not. And so learning how to have this more comfortable relationship with change and not be so intimidated by it. Really involves doing a lot of reflection and looking at our own lives and some of the traumatic changes that maybe we've found ourselves navigating.

And I will put forward that probably a lot of those changes weren't ones that you signed up for. Did I sign up for my parents to separate and divorce at age nine? No, of course I didn't. You know, it was out of my control. [00:33:00] But the way I react and act accordingly to that, That was in my control.

Unfortunately, I didn't really do it from a very healthy perspective, which, you know, I soon learned, you know, there's lots of different types of changes that were forced upon and I'm not saying, you know, traumatic events are positive. Of course they're not. That's why we call them trauma, but we can learn from those.

We can move past them. But, and there's also wonderful people out there and professionals that can help support us to navigate this, you know, and I'm a big fan of that in the mental health space, you know, I had a psychologist I worked with, I had a relationships counselor, therapist, like, over the last 20 years, I've invested in that stuff.

Why? Because I wanted to change and I wanted to do it well, you know, because I was tired of me trying to always do certain changes and realizing I'm moving two steps forward, one step back, it felt like the change was never happening fast enough. Transcribed Because I kept basically sabotaging myself.

And, uh, and that's why I'm a big proponent for people working with [00:34:00] coaches, with mentors, with people that can help you navigate the change. Because you'll find that you get there on the other side, and it's really nice because You've made a lot of microchanges along the way, which sometimes you're not even aware are happening.

But that's what a good coach or mentor can do. They just guide us along. And uh, anyways, so yeah, that's a little bit of that. What are your thoughts on that? You know, like what's, you know, Brent, what's your biggest change that you've had to navigate? And I'm just curious, how do you, based on what I just shared, how could you reframe that?

Or perspectively, maybe there's some big changes that you've gone through where you're like, oh boy, I don't even want to remember that time, you know, but when you sort of start to reframe it and you try to draw upon who you are as a result of that event happening, it's pretty empowering, you know, because we can reframe past traumatic events to learn from them, but also to recognize it's helped us develop the character of who we are today.

Hmm. Leave, [00:35:00] leave it to you. Throw me on the spot. I know, I know. . I feel like I've been on a pulpit now for the last 10 minutes, so I was like, no, I gotta hear Brent talk Now. I'm got, I'm gonna take a step back. . I'm the host. I'm supposed to ask questions, not the other way. Come on now. Uh, . Um, honestly, like the biggest change was the start of the fallible man in, in recent history because I had this come to Jesus moment where I had the Donna realization that.

It was thrown in my face. I knew nothing about financial. Uh, I like financial acumen. Uh, I think that's the right word. I, my, my financial education was just lacking so drastically. And so I spent a year just educating myself. About money, how it works, how it actually moves in the real world, different types of all these things I never known about this world of money.

And I got to the end of that. It's like, okay, right. And I, and I started doing my own investing and stuff like [00:36:00] that. And that was going really well, but it was in that moment that I went. If I can do this, if I can teach myself this, what have I been denying myself? What, what else can I teach myself? Where else can I go?

If I can learn this thing, I did not know at all. What else can I grow with? And that was when the outlook on change started happening. That's where the fallible man really happened. Uh, the whole, the whole movement was I started my journey. It started with. Recognizing this disparity and it terrified me like finding out I had no idea how, how money actually works in the real world.

Like, you know, I, I was just the typical person. I went to work and I did my job and I had a 401k that I didn't understand anything about and they deposited my checks and right time for money, right? Cracking in those. 60 hours, 70 hour weeks. And like, it [00:37:00] was completely terrifying. It's like, I'm, I'm like a monkey with a football, man.

I, I got no idea about anything financial. I've never learned anything about money. No one ever taught me this. And it terrified me because like how I knew in that moment, it's like, I don't have the money to retire at this rate. I will never retire. I will never be able to walk away from working. Uh, there is no end to this job thing for me at this way.

And so that fear kind of forced me into, I need to learn this. And then that forced me into realization of, if I can learn this, if I can teach myself this, what more can I learn? How far can I go? What more can I do? Yes. And that's really launched this catalyst for The Fallible Man and then started to take, it was such an epiphany.

I want to take other people with me. Oh, Derek, I love that. I love that so much. And I, I had always been resistant to change, [00:38:00] but it's like, If I can, I can take change by the reins and just go, I can learn this. I can do this. I can absolutely drive this train where I want it to go. And so that was just. I love that because, you know, when it comes down to change and it sounds like you sort of work through these natural questions, which I, I sometimes share, you know, these, these questions around change and, uh, and I bet you, like, if I just share these three questions with you, you, you will probably see that you naturally answered those questions for yourself in intuitively based on the intention that you wanted to set to change something.

You know, like when we recognize there's something that we want to change, that's great. That's step one. At least we have the awareness that there's something that we want to change, but then we got to get clarity so we can have confidence to actually take the right action and keep making the right action.

And you know, the, the first question being, you know, can I do this? Like, can I actually [00:39:00] do the change that I want? And then, you know, once you get clear on that, then it's question two is like, well, if I do it, was it actually going to work? You know, like, But a lot of us have certain experience where we've not positively or I should say successfully navigated change and we feel like, you know, like, Oh, I'm a failure.

I can't do this. And that limited, um, closed way of thinking can really start to affect other areas in our life. And so that lack of confidence is a big one for people not to even ever want to make a change, you know, or being too intimidated by it. So first, can I do this, you know, and if I do it, will it work?

And then the last question, once you got those two figured out. Is is it worth it, you know, is it worth all the effort or more importantly if it's personal and it's for ourselves It's like look in the mirror and say to myself like Hey, am I worth the change? You know, and I got the mirror right here. So I'm looking at it like, am I worth the change?

You know, and that question is not easy to answer. I'll tell you. As [00:40:00] a, as a morbidly obese teenager, barely 15 years old, I honestly didn't feel of value because I didn't feel like people valued me, liked me, and and myself. I didn't like me. And so to think like, am I worth this change? Am I even worth getting healthy?

But. I knew that I wanted to make the changes and fortunately for me, there was other people that believed I was worth it that encouraged me and supported me and was there to, to offer that support, even if, you know, without me even asking for it, because I had already made the commitment to myself. I want to make the change, but I didn't really feel like I was worth it.

And, you know, even after I made the change, I still didn't quite feel like I was worth it. So, you know, there's a lot to unpack there. And that's why I spent a lot of time on the question three, because. It's not the easiest one to answer. And what I invite people to consider if you find yourself challenged by that number three, if you find it triggering or it's just like you feel inauthentic saying that about yourself.

Recognize there's people in your life that would answer hell yes, you're worth it. [00:41:00] There's communities out there that will be like hell yes, you're worth the change. Find and align with those individuals. Belong to that community. You know, because those are people that have already probably started to navigate that same change that you wanted.

And they probably felt similar to how you're feeling right now. And trust me, you get around people like that, they'll empathize with you. They'll understand you and they'll be able to support you as you start off on that journey of change as well. And really those is this, that's as simple as I can break down change as far as that.

Internal mechanism for starting to gain the clarity and confidence you need to fully realize and lean into what you need to do, because it actually comes down to doing something like Brent, what you said, it's like, yeah, you can recognize that you've got this area, just recognizing it doesn't make it better.

You know, it's like you go to a doctor and the doctor's like, Hey, man, Oh, geez, you got high blood pressure. Great. Thanks for telling me. Now what, right? Like, [00:42:00] do you want to do something about the high blood pressure? Like, like, there involves an action afterwards to make the change. It doesn't happen by itself.

Well, I guess some changes do. Because if you don't do anything, you sat in bed all day, your body would change. It would deteriorate. You know? Because movement is important. Eating certain types of foods are important, etc, etc. Anyways, I digress. But that's, that's sort of my mini framework I like to suggest and offer people when they start to want to make a change.

It's interesting. I like that third question because this is one that's been a struggle for me. Right. And, uh, so some of you guys listening, you may not know. Dye is actually my business coach besides being my friend. We, we have great conversations. Dye helps keep me on point and has asked me some of these hard questions.

I was not willing to ask myself. Uh, it actually made me laugh as you were talking about it. Cause I had a guest a while back, Luke Rossimo, [00:43:00] and we were having a conversation after we finished recording. And he's like, you know, Berlin, let me ask you a question, right? You keep hitting, you say, you keep hitting this roadblock.

Do you, he said, I don't want you to answer. I want you to think about it. Do you feel like you deserve that success? He's like, I know the knee jerk reaction is go. Of course I do. He's like, but I want you to actually sit with that one. For a few minutes, because, and I've had a post it note on my desk for probably the last five months on the bottom of my computer screen with that question on it, because I have lost sleep over that question because I know consciously what I want in a lot of the ways I didn't think I struggled with [00:44:00] that self esteem issue.

I, I mean, I'm, I'm usually my biggest fan. I like me. I think I'm pretty great. Everybody else may not, but I think I'm pretty great, right? I'm, I'm my biggest fan usually, but the amount of hours I spent staring at that note, I think a lot of men struggle with this, right? We feel like we show up for everybody else.

We show up for the people we love or we try to our, whether that's our partners, our spouses, our kids, our friends, we try and show up for everybody else. But when it comes time to show up for us, a lot of times, whether we want to say it out loud or can even say it out loud, because I've actually like looked at this with other people I know now, and I have a friend and I feel like he's in that same boat where he doesn't show up for himself the way he could.

I don't think he believes he's worth the effort to put into anybody [00:45:00] else. And I didn't think that was something I struggle with, but I think a lot of us men, when we get. Honest and vulnerable. As you were talking about earlier with ourselves, don't feel like we deserve that kind of effort into ourselves.

I think that's one of the reasons we're, we're hard with change for us. We're we, we can deal with change for other things, but changing for us, showing up for us to do those changes that really move the needle in our lives. It's a lot of a struggle with feeling like we're worth the effort. It's interesting that you say that, Brenton.

I think you're spot on in many different ways. And so I remember when I was facilitating Mentorship Monday meetings, so Mentorship Mondays, uh, in Bali and, um, you know, we get a couple dozen guys showing up every Monday night and we'd sit around this big table and, you know, we'd have food and then we'd open up conversation with one simple question and like, what's alive and real for you?[00:46:00]

And instinctively, and intuitively, a lot of men, once they go to the negative and the hard stuff, I'm going to talk about all the challenges that I've got going on in my life right now. I'm going to talk about this and that. And so, and I mean, and it was great. That's what the space was there. It was there for us to practice being more vulnerable and for opening up with what are we struggling with?

Because as soon as you do that, there's like three guys on the other side of the table, all putting up their hands like, Oh my gosh. I'm dealing with that too. I didn't, and you know, then the other guys are looking like, wait, you too? And it's like, whoa, man, a bunch of people are struggling with the same thing I'm struggling with, and here I thought I was all alone in what I was dealing with.

That's number one, but here's number two, and this is where getting really to the point of what you just made, you know, when I was creating the space, it wasn't just to talk about the hard stuff, it was also to create a space where we could talk about the great stuff that's going right for ourselves to celebrate those big milestones that we've achieved, those [00:47:00] goals that we've set our sights on, those changes that we've already initiated to make.

And all of a sudden we're seeing them happen. Let's talk about that too. A lot of guys. They're more comfortable when they start getting vulnerable to talk about the hard stuff than to talk about the good stuff. Because they're worried that the other guys across the table, and this is our own internal belief systems getting in the way, and maybe it's more based on North America type of mindset, I don't know exactly.

I'd have to do some deeper dives into this, but we feel like we're bragging. We're showboating. You know, like how quickly we just say, Oh, that guy's just talking about himself. You know, what a narcissist. So we have these sort of stigmatized reactions to people that talk about all sorts of good things that are going.

And I thought, that's a big problem. If I can't celebrate the big milestone moments that my good friends are achieving, and I can't feel good for them authentically for achieving that? There's something not right in me, you know, and [00:48:00] that's how I see myself because I want to celebrate that. And if it was triggering me to hear about other people doing good things, I have to ask myself, why am I feeling so triggered by that?

Is that jealousy? Is that envy? Like, what is that? Why do I have that emotion right now? And again, this internal idea, and as you said too, is being vulnerable with yourself. And, uh, and so I, those are just a couple observations I noticed after, you know, facilitating those groups for almost two years, you know, like it was amazing to see this and it's vulnerability isn't just about being able to share the hard stuff.

It's also being able to talk about the good stuff in an authentic, transparent, but also a more connected way, you know, anyways, uh, that was just a couple of thoughts that came up when you shared what you shared guys. We've been, we've been discussing chain and. We've been discussing change at a very personal level, uh, understanding how it affects us emotionally, mentally, how we feel about it.

Uh, and, and I, I kind of teach you guys earlier when I said that, you [00:49:00] know, Dai does all the fills too. Sorry to sucker punch you, but we're, we're talking all the fills today, because one of the important things we're trying to get to is building a positive mindset towards change and how we interact with it.

And to do that, we're going to have to dig a little deeper. Then some of us want to, and the next part of the show, we're going to start diving into how to build that mindset, that positive mindset, where we look at change and go, wow, what an opportunity, what a chance instead of, Oh God. So we'll be back in just a minute after this message from our sponsors.

How well do you sleep at night? Do you toss and turn and wake up more tired than when you went to bed? Sleep is commonly one of the critical elements people fall short on in their life. The quality of sleep you get directly affects your ability to control your weight, your ability to add muscle, your stress levels and your everyday job and life performance.

If you're ready to move to the next level and [00:50:00] sleep has to be part of the plan. Check out our friends at ghostbed. com. If you're ready to get your best sleep, I love my ghost bed. I've been sleeping on one for a couple of years and has made a huge difference in how I sleep. Hit ghostbed. com. Use the code, the fallible man, 30 to get 30 percent off your order and start getting better night's sleep tomorrow.

Now let's go on to the show guys. We've been discussing change in a, in a very honest way, because let's face it. Most of us are really uncomfortable with the idea and the more real and impactful that changes the more Uncomfortable tends to become for a lot of us in this segment of the show I really want to tap into Dai's strengths here because Dai is great at setting a positive mindset about stuff It's one of the things that he works with me on And it's one of the things that I have benefited from just in our relationship as friends is Dai has this great outlook And so I've really asked him to kind of tap into that today as we go to the show [00:51:00] of helping us build a positive mindset towards change instead of having this like just deep seated fear.

So why is mindset So important. Well, mindset is both conscious and subconscious, right? Like, I mean, if we're brutally honest about it, the subconscious is sort of that program that's running in the background all the time. I always love how people use that sort of an analogy or simile, right? Like, it's like this little CPU and it's constantly going.

And what we don't realize, and maybe people do realize this, but I mean, this is going back 25, 26 years ago when Byrne came out, was it, what was her name? Rhonda Byrne, I think, wrote The Secret. And the book The Secret talked about, really, manifestation. And what's really interesting is manifestation, as much as we think, if I just keep thinking about what I want, I'm going to get it all.

I'll just keep asking the universe and the universe will give [00:52:00] me whatever I ask for. Sure, yes and no. Um, I mean, there's obviously a limitation. If I just sit here asking, hey universe, gimme, gimme, gimme. I mean, I think I might be waiting a while for some results, you know. Um, subconsciously, there is actually a term called reticular activation system.

And it's this part of our brain. Where, when our brain recognizes there's something that we want, like really want, maybe we want to make a certain type of change. Maybe we want a new role, you know, in our career path. Maybe we want to save up a certain amount of money so we can have that summer family vacation.

Either way, we, we acknowledge that there's something that we want. And reticular activation system is a little program that runs in our subconscious where it will start to keep an eye out just as we're living our life, going by our day by day. Doing what we do, and it will start to ping, literally ping us where we'll start to [00:53:00] recognize that thing.

And there's a wonderful example of this. If you ever think back to the time when maybe you've been shopping for a new vehicle, maybe you're actually looking for a new vehicle now, or thinking about a certain model and make and color that you want right now. Well, as soon as you imply that intention to yourself, That little reticular activation system is all of a sudden going to start recognizing.

Oh my goodness. There's that car again. Like let's just say, you know, you want to hit a certain level in Mary Kay. I think they still give away the the pink Cadillacs or maybe it's the pink Mercedes. I don't know. But you know, there's this pink Mercedes that you really want and it's like all of a sudden it's like wow.

I see a lot of ladies out there because you'll start to notice them. They'll just pop up and be like, Whoa, that's, that's, that's what I want. And it's really interesting to see how this happens. This little phenomenon called the reticular activation. So this is just one small thing. That's part of this mindset, this mental version or person that is us, right?

Like we're mental, physical, emotional. We're all [00:54:00] that in one bag of chips. Right. And that mental awareness is so critical because. It allows us to tap into our intuition and be more mindful of the intuition. And then with that intentionally move forward to do the things that we know we ought to do to make those changes realized.

And so this is just one way. And I wanted to open with this first Brent, because I think people will recognize that they've had this experience at some point in their lives. You know, some seeds been planted with them and all of a sudden they start noticing boom. Um, and it might be, you know, a couple of weeks here and then all of a sudden week there and oh, tomorrow or this morning, I noticed it again.

I want people to recognize that because this is just one of the phenomenal things that makes up these minds of us. There's so many little things going on and we still don't understand it. Look at neuroscience today versus what neuroscience was 20 years ago. It's like a completely different field.

That's how quickly it's advancing. But the best part is, everybody, Neuroscience has proven that change [00:55:00] is possible. And when is it possible? Whenever we choose to it. But here's the thing, to maintain the change, that takes time and effort, consistency and frequency. So that's why I always joke, it's like, yeah, you can go to the gym once, it doesn't mean you're going to hit your goal.

And so, it's going to be a continuous effort. But eventually that path, let's say we're on an unhealthy habits path. And then there's this healthy path it's path. And they run parallel to each other. This one looks like a little stream. This one that's been unhealthy because it's been 20 years of our life.

We've been eating what we want, doing what we want, not paying attention to our body. Maybe smoking a pack a day. Well, we've got a freaking. You know, just a typhoon of water traveling down that one. And all of a sudden we're like, no, I want to get healthy. Well, in our brain, this neural pathway is now just a little trickling stream.

But if we keep focusing on that, it will build. We'll keep wearing that track in. And the other cool part is, that big typhoon of a river that's been taken over [00:56:00] the healthy, it will eventually diminish. Is there an exact number of this? Some people like to, like to say that there is. You'll hear people say it takes 21 days to make a change.

Listen, I, you can literally type in, in Google, how many days does it take to create a habit? You're gonna get 101 different answers. And I'm gonna tell you, they're all correct. Every single one of them. For that individual that experienced that change of that habit, obviously it worked for them and maybe that was true.

Don't worry about how long it takes. If it's important to you and the results that you're aiming for are important to you and worth the effort, it's not like something you're going to stop doing once you've achieved it. Like, oh, I'm healthy now. Well, I guess I don't have to focus on being healthy anymore.

What? You know, it's not it becomes part of your lifestyle. So Those are just a few examples and obviously we can go down into the weeds. Uh brent as you want I I love the example because [00:57:00] all I think all of us have done that with a car, right? I I bought a car A couple of months ago, uh, we needed a second car and I bought, uh, I want to say it's a Jeep Liberty, I think.

Oh, cool. Nice vehicle. And yeah, right. I bought a used Jeep Liberty, you know, it's like 16, 000 miles or something, I was really happy. That's low for me. That's really, I generally buy older cars, but I started seeing them like, I, I never noticed the minute I bought it, man. I've seen them everywhere. Right.

Cause that's, you're. I'm incredibly aware of your new, and then all of a sudden it's like, Oh, look, everybody else drives these too. I'm driving all over the state in this thing going, Oh, I've never used this car before, right? Even though this was a model. Sure. So I love that. It's so powerful, man. It's so powerful.

But the problem is, is that we can also program the subconscious and it may not lead us down the best path. You know, like [00:58:00] there's, and we, we see this with people that may have certain habits that they're completely oblivious that they're doing. I, I see this a lot with my nutrition clients and, and listen, I've been there.

Okay. I'm not here to point fingers. There's no shame or blame, but recognize unmindful eating the eating that we do, the snacking that we do, these little bits of extra pieces that we put in our mouth throughout the day, they add up, you know, and it's incredible. Like I, I, I have this one guy and he's got little kids and he's often responsible with making dinner for his family.

And, uh, You know, he makes his kids a separate meal, which for one, I don't encourage people to do that. You know, your kids should eat what you're eating because also it's not worth you making two meals. Like it just what's in the butt. My people always like, well, how'd you get your kids to eat what you eat?

I go, well, we don't give them a second option. You know, like, you're going to go hungry if you don't eat this. And, um, because kids are finicky at times, but trust me, if they're hungry, they're going to eat. [00:59:00] My point with this being is that he would be making, like, chicken nuggets for the kids, meanwhile making his wife and him, like, maybe see a plank sandwich, a nice salad, which I'm like, my goodness, feed that to the whole family, right?

He'd be snacking, you know, eating kids chicken nuggets, not even realizing they were doing it, or taking an extra carrot stick and doing an extra dip of, of, you know, whatever they were using, baba ghanoush or something like that. Anyways, and so This is literally, uh, going on, but you think this adds up, right?

A couple extra hundred calories a day. Well, trust me, at the end of a year, that could be, you know, four or five, six pounds of extra weight that we're now carrying because of just that unmindful snacking. And this is what I mean about that reticular activation system. It's, it's great to really give yourself intention of things that you want to positively change, but also recognize that there might be some programs running in the background that are impeding how quickly those changes can happen.

And those are just as important to address, you know, and so I often refer to people this start, stop, continue. [01:00:00] And what I mean by this, Brandon, I think you've heard me, especially in our coaching sessions before is because we can become very, very overwhelmed. And let's be honest, I know this episode's airing by the time this goes out, you know, we're a couple of weeks away from the new year.

A lot of people are thinking, Oh man, 2024 brand new start, fresh start. I got 132 things I want to do this year. I want to change all this. Okay. For one, Pick three things. One thing that's new that you're going to start doing and do consistently. One thing that you have been doing that you know, oh boy, if I would just stop doing that one thing, I also know just in stopping that, I'd get some good results.

And then third is recognize things that you are doing and do well that are adding value to not only your life and the lives of people around you. Keep doing that one thing. So pick one thing to start, one thing to stop, one thing that you'll continue doing. Believe me, that's enough. It's enough. And start with that.

Start, [01:01:00] stop, continue. Really great way to have very specific focus. But, you know, it also makes things a little bit easier because it's really like, I'm only starting one thing and the other thing, I just don't have to do that. That's okay, I can do that. And then this one thing I'm already doing. It's amazing.

It is just, uh, believe me. Anybody that's listening or watching this, please, make your list of your start, stop, continues. Have that intention for January 1. Just go January 1 to the 31st. And if you make it to the 31st and you still have that in mind, Trust me, you've done better than 92 percent of the other people in the world.

Drop the mic. Let's just say I'm not sure if I should talk from there, but you know, I was laughing because you were talking about your client. Guys, there's a reason they call it a dad bod. Like, this is what happens to every dad. We start making our kids snacks, having snacks around the house for our kids.

And then here's, here's the real thing that kills us. Dads don't like to waste food. That's so true, man. [01:02:00] So we eat our food, and then we eat whatever our kids don't finish. And are wasted. So we don't have to throw it away, because like, I'm, I'm not, gosh, especially going out to eat, like at a restaurant. Yeah.

I might as well just not order, and just eat whatever my kids don't eat. I'm not going to pay 15, 20 a plate. Yeah. And. Take a home because you know what? I know my kids aren't going to reheat the leftovers. They're not, I just don't like leftovers, right? So I've had restaurants where I actually went and only ordered like the super small thing.

My wife's like that's not much food for you I was like, yeah, but she's not gonna eat all that and she's not gonna eat all that and I know I'm going to Smart man smart, but it also adds up right like that's the thing I bought thing we start snack as we're taking care of them and then we clean up after them And we still eat our full meals.

And all of a sudden we're, we're like consuming twice the calories we used to. And then we're all [01:03:00] wondering why we got a little bit bigger after we became dads.

Yeah, it's, uh, it's wild though. Those little things that we do that we don't even realize that we're doing. And then, so, you know, as much as this mindset of change that we've been talking about, it's just recognizing and building some awareness that there is something that if we change that one thing or start to maybe improve on that one thing, it.

instantly is almost like a domino effect where it affects other areas positively. That's again, I know I keep harping on the fitness thing because I understand that health, you know, to be. Healthy physically often will tie into also being healthier mentally and emotionally and spiritually, you know Like I know if my physical body's in a good place and I'm managing my energy.

Well, I'm feeling good I don't have a lot of pains or aches and pains or you know That lethargy that sometimes we feel because our bodies are just maybe taxed or dealing with chronic stress from high stress lifestyle Well, you got to [01:04:00] do something to offset that you know, just maybe by working out Just go for a walk for 30 minutes a day.

Also on top of that, maybe drink, you know, a gallon of water throughout the day. You know, like three to four liters for those that are up here in the north. You know, like it's small and subtle, but it's the small and subtle stuff that add up the quickest when you compound it over time. But the nice thing is it doesn't take a huge amount of effort.

Because I always tell people this, because I know that first step, it requires a lot of, of power to create the inertia to build the momentum. An object at rest loves to stay at rest. Thank you, science. Isaac Newton, right? Like, and to get that object moving. It's going to take the most amount of effort to go from zero to one.

Once it starts moving, it's amazing how much easier it is to keep it moving. [01:05:00] And this applies to us in life, us to changes in any area, same idea. Don't fight science, work with it, you know. And you'll be, you'll be amazed like Christy right now, you know, she's gotten back into CrossFit and she has a goal next year to get, you know, she wants to do pull ups and right now she's starting at zero.

We had some bands, you know, so we got some bands in the bar and she's doing that, but I'm like, Christy, just think about when you get to that first one. I mean, it's incredible. If you go from zero pull ups and now you can do one hundred percent improvement, Brent, right? Big. But the only time you ever get a hundred percent improvement is when you go from zero to one.

After that, it's diminishing returns. You know, like, it just really is. I mean, you're still improving, but it will never be as drastic as when you first committed to making the change. I also bring this up because I think some people's expectations of change don't actually match what's possible. And so having a mindset of [01:06:00] understanding and being accepting that any change is good change, especially if it's moving the needle in the right direction.

Don't beat yourself up. Oh my goodness. I didn't lose any weight this week. Yeah, but you got five workouts in, you ate really well, you had great sleep. Who cares about the scale? You crushed it this week. But it's amazing how quickly we latch on to certain things, and if we don't reach those certain milestones, we start to feel negative about ourselves, and instantly, that subconscious sometimes takes over.

We'll go back to doing the things that gives us instant comfort, which aren't usually healthy things, and that's where the self sabotage happens. So I know I'm covering a bunch of different topics here, but this is all part of the same conversation, you know, does that make sense? Actually, I really want you to wade into this for a second.

Yeah. Because with that mindset change, right, as we're trying for this mindset change, one of the things that you have an uncanny ability for that I think a lot of us would benefit from is how do [01:07:00] we start to look at the glass half full? Positive. What are some steps we can take to start to be more.

Because we have such negative connotations for some of us that we're coming from on change, right? How do we start to like glass half full positive outlook on this change? How can we be blindly optimistic like die? Okay. Um, no, but I, I jest with that, but, um, okay. I thought it, but I didn't say, I know, I know.

Totally. Um, listen, there's an old saying the way we do any, the way we do. What is it? The way we do anything is the way we do everything. And what they imply by that is, you know, whatever you put into it is what you're going to get out of it, basically. And, and I think change is very much that way too. You know, we can sit around exploring our thoughts and thinking, I'm going to change this about my life.[01:08:00]

Okay. Oh, nothing changed. Why not? Hmm. I don't know what's going on here. Well, because we got to do something, you know, we've got to take some action. And. This idea of looking at the glass half full or half empty. It's a choice. It is always a choice. Like I have a choice to either have that perspective or not.

And what I found is really helpful for people and this is really, really helpful. I honestly feel is the first thing you do in the day has to be something positive for you. It's got to be something positive for yourself. I mean, you are with yourself every day, 24 7, for your entire life, you know, from the day we come onto this planet to the time we leave it, we are ourselves, you know, like, we're in our own bodies, we've got this worldly view, self perspective, I mean, it's us, we've got to take full accountability for ourselves.

And so I invite people, the very first action that you do in the morning, when you're getting out of bed, you should be jumping out of bed with gusto, alright, [01:09:00] with a zip in your step. You get out of bed, you literally dismount like you're dismounting the pommel horse at the Olympics for a gold medal. You know, you got the IOC there and they got a bunch of cards and they're going to hold up tens for you based on how you got out of bed in the morning.

I know people are laughing at me, but here's the deal. How many of us hit the snooze button one, two, twenty two times, you know? Like, we hit that snooze button, we keep hittin it. Maybe we have four different alarms just because we know ourselves so well. I'm gonna snooze the first three and I know when I hear the fourth one, I gotta get up.

Gotta start my day. I have to do this. Oh, woe is me. That is how we start our day. That sucks. All right. Pretty hard to look at anything being half full versus half empty. When the first thing you do in the day is already negative and hard. And oh my goodness, oh, so I don't care how bad life's going or how shitty stuff is like get out of bed.

[01:10:00] Enjoy that you have the opportunity to get out of bed with your body able as it is and acknowledge that today's going to be a freaking amazing day. And I want you to say that to yourself. And then you look at the IOC and you're like, yes, I got a 10. Where's my gold medal, right? And then go about the day.

Literally, just starting with that one little thing. I know it seems silly, and at the very least, it might crack a smile on your face. Your spouse might be looking, What the hell are you doing? They're gonna laugh at you too. But what is the beautiful thing is laughter. If you look at all the data, and again, going back to science.

It releases positive endorphins into our mind, right? Dopamine, a little bit of serotonin. The body starts to feel a bit better. It elevates our blood, our pulse a bit. You know, that's good. We feel alive. If you start your day like that, trust me, you've already set the momentum, and now you just gotta keep doing the [01:11:00] rest.

Because going from zero to one, Takes a lot of effort going from sleep prone to standing up. That's going to be probably your biggest, most exertion that you have to do first thing in the morning. So why not do it the best that you can? And I know this seems really silly, but it is. It is silly, but why not?

You know, what's the worst that can happen if you try this? Like nothing? Like you're only got stuff to gain, but you'll see that these small literal interactions, you start looking at other things that way. It's incredible how quickly things will shift and you'll start to see things differently, but more importantly, you're sort of seeing yourself differently.

And that's where the really big changes will start to manifest when you connect with that, you know, and just be grateful, man, you get to get up every morning. You get to get out of bed, you know, but you know, for me, I choose to get out of bed before my alarm every freaking morning. Obnoxiously. So my wife will tell you, [01:12:00] you know, but that's how I start my day and I'm going, man.

I mean, if you watch my stories on Instagram, it's like, I'm up at three 30 in the morning and I'm like, I got a couple hours before I coach and I'm just like, I want to go coach. I want to go coach. I want to go coach. You know, like, I love it, man. I love it. So what are your thoughts on that, Brent? Are you going to start dismounting?

I'm thinking of double pike position. With a half twist in the morning. Do that's too cool. You're one of the only people I know who actually gets up before I do. Cracks me up. Cause I get up four. Oh yeah. So three 30. Yeah. Chris, three 30 to four. I should say three 30 to four. I wake up somewhere in that window.

So. Christie loves you a lot. That's it. That's all I gotta say about that. I, I have to be a little bit during the weekdays 'cause she works early in the morning, so her sleep is pretty valuable, uh, for her and, and our relationship. Mind you, uh, . So I, I have had to be a little bit more conscious when I dismount, but she knows what's up.

You guys, we, [01:13:00] we, you know, we, we kick around things on the show all the time. On the face value. Someone might see as silly, but if you've listened to the show for any length of time, you know, that most of the time we're only one small tweak away from the direction we want to be going. Right. It's not a huge thing.

A lot of you guys who are listening to this show, I've been listening to the show for a while, or some of you who are newer, maybe, maybe not as long, but you'll find out. You're already moving. If you're listening to the show, you're already in the movement of moving your life in a positive direction.

That's already part of your goal. You wouldn't be listening to the show because that's what we talked about. So we all know that we're usually just one small tweak or two away from really hitting some velocity in our personal development. And so it may sound a little silly. Hey, I'm not going to lie. It sounds a little silly to me, but I'm also having great images in my head right now.

[01:14:00] Of like during, cause I used to, I was a competition diver in high school. Oh, dude. Okay. Well, you're gold all the way. So I'm, I'm having these great images of me, like, you know, doing a front two and a half off with a twist and Sarah just looking at me going, what is wrong with you? Yeah. I know you guys are a little competitive.

The next thing you know, she's gonna be like, yeah, I can beat that. Right. Oh no, that, that would end with me like laying on the floor broken. Cause I got it. My room, it would end badly, another hospital trip, another scar, but you know, Tony Robbins says, you know, where your energy or sorry, where your attention goes, your energy flows, you know, and, and maybe it wasn't him that said it originally, but I know dispenses it as well.

There's a number of those guys in sort of that space that say that same sort of thing. But it's true when you think about it, you know, like, where does most of our attention goes throughout the day? Right? Because whatever is getting your attention, that's usually where most of your energy is going as well.

And so, [01:15:00] I do invite people, and this is more so on the things to stop. Remember we talked about starting, stopping, and continuing. So if you just started getting out of bed, first thing you do in the morning, Boom! Sets you with those positive endorphins, so you're like, Okay, whatever the day's got for me, I'm ready for it, I'm excited, I'm pumped, It's gonna be fun.

And I know it, listen, You gotta fake it till you make it, okay? You might be fighting that and thinking, Oh, I don't really feel it. Just keep doing it. You will get to a place where all of a sudden it's just automatic. And it believe me, it will happen. Okay. And, and it will be fun, trust me, because you'll see a lot of other positions, but then we talk about something to stop.

Well, pick up your mobile phones, go to the screen time function. And I'm sorry to bring this up, but, and this is just for your phone. We're not talking about computer screens, TV screens, iPads. I'm talking about just your mobile device. You go to screen time on that. It will tell you how much time you spend on certain apps.

Um, how much time you spend looking at the screen. I mean, it's pretty incredible what it will tell you. [01:16:00] I would like to invite people, stop using so much screen time. Alright, make that your goal. It's like, if you're at right now, 3 hours a day on your device, like the typical North American, cut that to 90 minutes.

Now, if you run your business and that's a big part of your business, that's different, but I'm talking about personal use. So, uh, I mean, I don't know, I don't get paid to watch Netflix. I mean, mind you though, Hey, Netflix, I'm for hire. You want to pay me to watch your stuff? Uh, I'm here, but you know, most part, a lot of those social apps.

Are not intended for business for most people. Those would be where I would say, try to reclaim some of that time for yourself. That would be a wonderful habit to create where you just stop consuming as much. Because all of a sudden now you're like, Oh, I do have time to do a bunch of things. Like that little side hustle I've been wanting to start.

Jeez. I just got back 90 minutes a day. Here's something that I want people to realize if you're like the typical human being and listen, I'm guilty of this too Like I'm not I'm not immune to this either But I am very [01:17:00] mindful of it and I take note of this frequently because when I find myself down in the dumps or my anxiety starts to spike it's usually because I haven't been doing the things that I know if I do more of it keeps my anxiety in a better place Watch too much screen time.

I feel all wound up. I feel tense. I feel stressed. It's incredible, especially if some of the content I'm watching isn't very positive, which is unfortunately pick up any social media platform in the news today. I mean, the algorithm feeds us negative crap all the time, unfortunately, you know, so it's hard to get away from it.

But those two little things. Will make an immense amount of difference and it's wild, but if you protect the again, I'm going back to science and data here, right? The scientific method. What is that about? You measure inputs goes into the black box. We know what's in there, but then we see what comes out of the black box, the outputs, the results from putting those things into the box.

Well, we're the box. We put stuff into our lives. Is it creating the outputs [01:18:00] or the results that we want? Because if it isn't, maybe we should start looking at what the inputs are. If you're finding yourself more negative mindset orientated, more closed minded, you know, rather than growth mindset orientated.

Well, maybe look at how you're feeding your mind every day. Who are you associating with? What kind of media are you consuming? You know, who is your mentor right now in life? Who are your five closest friends? You know, are they always people that, you know, are you the net sum of those five like Jim Rohn says?

Or are you sort of the outlier? Because if you're the outlier, that's okay. There came a place when I gave up alcohol, I had to re configure my entire social network. Because I recognized most of the people I used to hang out with was only based on this predicate of having drinks. I don't want to drink anymore.

So I had to reassess, who are my friends? You know? Who do I want to surround myself? So I wanted to surround myself with other people that it wasn't a [01:19:00] requirement to be a drinker to hang out. You know? Woo! Amazing! All of a sudden things started to change. You know? Um, so sorry, I am, I'm sort of rambling here, but this is all very important stuff when it comes to our mental output, but you'll notice that I'm not talking about anything that costs money, right?

This is all accessible to anybody and everybody at any given time. But also, I hope you recognize I'm giving you full autonomy for yourself. I'm not saying you gotta go hire a coach to help you get out of bed with a hop, skip, and a jump in the morning. You know, I'm not here saying you need a coach to tell you how much to use your phone.

Like, these are things that you can self govern. Take accountability for it. Start with those little things. And watch out, because great things are gonna happen! Because we're changing the inputs, which is going to affect the out. Yeah, no. Yes. Okay. Actually guys, this is really resonating with you and I really hope it is.

And you like put more [01:20:00] positive in your life. And what has someone walk with you with this die? Tell us about the 2 percent solution. Thank you. Well, good plug now. All right. Uh, well, I wrote that book, the whole life fitness manifesto many years ago, and it was all geared around helping people leverage 2 percent of every 24 hours.

Because that's for those doing the math. It's actually like 28. 4 minutes. I round up, okay? So it's 30 minutes a day is basically 2 percent of your 24 hour day. It doesn't seem like very much when you say that. It's like, hey, can you give me 2 percent of your day for you to be healthier, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

Everybody's like, Oh, yeah, I can do that. It's only 2%. And then I say it's 30 minutes. Oh, I don't have 30 minutes. It's amazing. I just I've caught people in that, right? It's pretty funny. Um, but I know we all have 30 minutes. But the problem is we sort of run aground trying to think about, well, how do I best use this 30 minutes for my self care?

And that's where the book was geared around just giving people a simple [01:21:00] blueprint. Of how to utilize that 30 minutes very intentionally to create certain results because I was giving them suggested inputs, the outputs happened just because you did the work, you know, it was moving your body for 15 minutes a day, following that up with five minutes of mindful meditation, followed by 10 minutes of intentional personal development, where you listen to a great podcast like friends, you know, like, and you spend that 30 minutes for yourself, non negotiable every day, do that for 28 days and tell me life hasn't improved in so many ways.

Now, going forward on this, it's been many, many years since that book was published, uh, had lots of successful individuals that have had, and when I say successful individuals, people that have achieved certain success in certain areas of their life, especially around health, mental health, and spiritual health, because they started to make these changes to their physical health, all right?

And I launched a podcast just recently called The 2 percent Solution, which is all about highlighting different ways that people can [01:22:00] get the most out of this daily input of 2 percent non negotiable self care. I have great guests on. Brent's coming on, by the way. Uh, you know, and uh, I also have, uh, my own episodes where Monday's Motivational is to help people set up their week to make it amazing, you know, cause it's these five to seven minute little hits.

To get your mindset in the right place for the week ahead. Friday is Fit Tip Friday, which helps you start your weekend with the healthiest foot forward. Because I'll tell you, most people are great Monday to Friday. And then it seems like they want to take a vacation from their lifestyle on the weekends.

And, you know, and when people say, I just don't feel like I'm getting results. And it's like, well, what do you do on the weekends? Oh, oh, OK. And so, again, it's getting people into that mindset for the weekend. Again, another five to seven minute hit. And in the middle of the week. You know, we get to have a great interview with somebody that can come on and talk about what's their 2 percent solution That's helped them get to where they are in life that consistent habit.

That's 30 minutes or less a day That's been instrumental and then creating the results that they've been [01:23:00] experiencing And we get to share all those tips tricks and actionable items on the show and that's what it is 2 percent solution Thanks for asking Brent. Oh, yeah, this is the first time I was actually able to be able to talk about it on a podcast So that was really cool.

Well, you know, I couldn't turn down the opportunity right there Natural. Guys, I will have all of Dai's links where you can find him, where you can connect with him. Be sure and check out his social media. I was loving watching you and Christy have a hands on competition. Thank you. On your post the other day.

Yeah. Yeah. I watched through the whole clip to see. You saw the victory dance at the end of that. I did. So we will have all of Dye's links and I know you guys are all like losing sleep over the idea of Which character on tropical thunder was based off of russell crowe daniel day lewis colin farrell?

You guessed tug speedman. The answer is kirk lazarus b What what I didn't so now, you know when you go back and watch it now You can like like look for the little tips Right. I had no idea that [01:24:00] that's who they were based on though And that actually makes a lot of sense now that you say it, you know, like The characters in that show are so funny, man, right?

So funny, like so funny. It's just so out there It's Tom Cruise in it as well. Did he do a little scene in it? Yeah, he's less Grossman. So he was less. I'm trying to remember That's right Cruise the most un Tom Cruise movie Tom Cruise has ever done What's the other one where he reappeared as that that same character again?

There was another movie where he was that character Um, or a variation of that. Gosh, what was it? It's gonna drive me nuts now. But I saw him reprise a similar role in a different movie as a cameo. And he was playing like a, uh, uh, Oh gosh, I'll have to find it. Anyways, you're Thank you for the flashback down memory lane.

I'm gonna totally watch Tropical Thunder this weekend. Dai, if our audience heard nothing else today, what do you want to leave them with?

You know, the the number one thing I gotta say, [01:25:00] whether you like it or not and whether you believe it or not, I'm just gonna tell you. Whatever change you feel is important for you to make. You're worth it. You're worth it. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, you know, you were born into this life and you are entitled to live a great life.

You are just by being here. We're all entitled to that and good to great, you know, anybody can be good. But greatness takes work. You're worth the effort. You can achieve it. It's going to be uncomfortable. But believe me, when you get to the other side of that. Oh, man. You can be so happy about yourself, but more than that, you're going to realize that any change in the future is that much more possible for you.

You're worth it. Make the change. Guys, on behalf of myself and die, go check out the 2 percent 2 percent solution podcast, plug [01:26:00] in another positive impact on your life during this week. Have a Merry Christmas and we'll be better tomorrow because what you do today. This has been the fallible man podcast, your home for everything man, husband, and father.

Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own Fallible Man Gear.