Navigating Parenthood: The Key Question Fathers Should Address for Their Children

[00:00:00] Navigating parenthood is perhaps one of the greatest challenges men will ever face. Do you know there's one key question fathers need to address for their children? Fatherhood is not for the weak or faint of heart. We've done a lot of shows on the fatherhood over the season, um, on the fatherhood, on fatherhood over the seasons here, but this is the foundational questions your kid needs answered by you and it will affect them for the rest of their lives.

So let's get into it.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential? Growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question. In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. Are you tired of tossing [00:01:00] and turning at night, searching for that elusive perfect pillow or just better bedding in general? Well, look no further. Our podcast is proudly sponsored by MyPillow, the renowned American pillow manufacturer. With over 50 million pillows, pillows sold and a legacy of quality.

MyPillow knows that you work hard for your money and want quality products at an affordable price. That's why they're offering all TFM listeners and friends, the special promo code for massive savings year round. Enjoy some of the finest sheets, pillows, slippers, mattress toppers, bath towels, and comforters on the market today.

Save big when you order with free promo code TFM. That's TFM with Album Man Podcast, obviously, on all 250 quality American products at MyPillow. MyPillow is here to transform your sleep experience. And it's a special treat for our listeners. You can enjoy up to 80 percent off your order with the code TFM.

Yes, you heard that right. 80 up to 80 percent off. You'll not only enjoy some of the most [00:02:00] comfortable and cozy products you've ever bought, but also support a great American company, the Fallible Man podcast, and save a ton of money doing it. It's really a triple win. So why wait? Head over to mypillow. com slash TFM.

Or call 800 796 9775. That's 800 796 9775 to order now. You can't be your best without a good night's sleep and my pillow delivers. So I was having an incredible conversation with Jason and Matt from dad camp this week. You guys will really enjoy that interview when it comes out later this year. I think that was around June sometime.

We talked about all kinds of things, fatherhood, but one of the simple things that came down as we talk is universally, every boy and every girl have a specific question that they need answered from their dads. Now, like I said, don't skip the episode because there's a whole lot more than this one point, but this point deserves its own show because it's so important.

This is essentially the same question, [00:03:00] but it sounds a little different because of their base wiring as boys and girls. But it is the fundamental foundation that sets everything in motion for the rest of their lives. By the way, Hey, my name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. You're home for all things, man.

Big shout out Fallible Nation. That's our, what we call our long time listener base. It's been hanging out with us for a long time as we're in season five. And Hey, a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Thanks for checking us out. We know there's a lot competing for your attention out there. And so it means a lot that you're giving us champ.

We hope chance. We hope you're giving it means a lot that you're giving us a chance guys. And yes, I'm normally the silly and no matter how many times I do this intro, I still like to flub it every now and then. So, Hey, Thanks for checking us out. If you enjoy the show, we'd love to hear what you think. You can connect with me at the fallible man on Instagram or basically any social media platform.

I'd love to hear your opinion on it. If you really enjoy the show, be sure to share it [00:04:00] with a friend that would benefit from the show or leave us review on Apple podcast. That helps us get more visibility and a stick around for more shows to come because we do this twice a week. Now guys, for those of you who enjoyed the cliff notes version, here's the questions.

For a boy, it's, do I have what it takes? This is the question you will need to answer for a little boy for the rest of his life. For a girl, it's, am I beautiful? Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? I know that sounds like more than one question, but it's not. It actually is essentially the same question, but with a little girl, she needs a more emotional approach to that answer, just in the base difference in the way we're wiring.

Same question. The difference is the emotional and mental wiring between a little boy and a little girl. It's a question that will stick with them for the rest of their lives. It's something you'll be validating for the rest of their lives, if you're a good father. Now you can leave if that's enough, but I encourage you to stick around.

I'm going to break it down just a little bit further. We won't take a real long [00:05:00] time, but we're going to rock that out just a little bit more and look at what it looks like in the real world. Whatever you need to do to process this data, as long as you get this point, these are the questions you need to answer for your kids.

For a boy, I'm a 44 year old, okay? My father passed a little over two years ago. Until the day he passed, I was still looking for this validation, even though I have two kids of my own now. Boys need to hear that they have what it takes, that they're enough. I've not known a lot of men in my life who did not get this from their father.

Men who don't get this validation struggle for the rest of their lives, looking for this validation for men. They look up to whether it's peers or bosses, people who are over them, people who are in their circle. However, it will not fill the hole that's created by a father, not validating this. I've seen this time and time again, where men struggle with this for their whole lives.

So fathers, it's really important that you're answering this [00:06:00] question for your son and you're going to do so for the rest of your lives. Now, as a dad, here's how we play this out in the real world. For no reason at all, regularly tell your son, you love him. And just as importantly, if not more importantly, that you are proud of him for no reason at all.

Do it specifically at times where there is air quotes, no reason, not when they do well, not when they succeed at something, not when they're outstanding or excel. Now it's okay to do it then. Okay. It's more important that you do it just for no other reason than they're yours. Equally important, maybe more important is you want to do it for no reason at all in front of other men.

Validate that they are enough in front of other men. Tell them that you're proud of them just because they're yours, that you love them, that they are incredible. They're awesome for no reason at all [00:07:00] and do so in front of other men. This will set them on a good path moving forward for the rest of their lives.

And this is something you'll do time and time again. For girls, your daughter's self esteem. is based on this set of questions. It's the same question as for a boy, but the girls generally have a little more emotional connection in their brain, the way their emotions are wired versus boys. And so this is a more emotional affirmation than you're going to do with a little boy while he still needs emotional affirmation.

He's getting that from just the, I'm proud of you in front of other men. That is the same thing for a little girl. She's why you're slightly different. So, and as a girl that I'm really in touch with this one, she will look to how her father sees her to base her self esteem and self image. You are literally setting the ground level.

For her own self image and self esteem for the rest of her life. So when all the nasty little kid [00:08:00] nonsense hits the mean girls at school, the kids who are just cruel for no reason, because God knows there's a lot of them as young people. I don't know why young people are so mean to each other, but we all went through it and God forbid in dealing with boys in her life, Her response to it will be based on how well you've answered this question for her and how well you built her with this.

Girls who have poor relationships with their fathers frequently have crazy daddy issues, including, but not limited to, being more promiscuous. We're likely to get knocked up out of wedlock and God forbid while they're still in school, even more prone to accept abusive relationships and be abused, more likely to experiment with substances and have emotional and mental difficulties, challenges in their lives and more like, I can't even like, that's a whole nother show to go down this rabbit hole of the absence of fatherhood, especially in a girl's life, but in [00:09:00] a boy's life too.

You have a huge impact on her future. And it starts with answering, am I beautiful? Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? Am I enough? You don't get that reference. I'll clear that up in a second. Now, as a dad, here's how you play this out in the real world. For no reason at all. Regularly tell your daughter, you love her.

Yeah. Sounds familiar, right? We said that about the boy. Tell her she's beautiful. She's amazing. Tell her she's special, but you need to go farther. Take them out on daddy daughter dates to public places, hold their hands in public. Be affectionate with them. Appropriately, of course. I shouldn't have to clarify that, but these days people are weird.

You know, open doors for them. Pull out chairs for them. Treat her like a queen. Big thing. It's like super big thing. Listen to her when she talks. Like there's nothing else going on in your world. [00:10:00] I don't care if you're talking about Harry Potter. My daughters and I talk Harry Potter a lot. Or if you're talking about an imaginary world that she's creating.

Or a tea party. Or if you're talking politics, listen to her. Like there's nothing else in the world. Put your phone down and be present. You are setting the standard. She will hold boys to and enforcing her value, her own value in her mind. Okay. This is critical guys. This is absolutely critical. And if you want some proof of this.

I will link my episode down in the show notes are in the description. If you're on YouTube, I will link the episode with Peter and Belle Anthony. So you can hear from a daughter in her own words, the episode is called trauma, a father's love and hope the Peter and Belle Anthony story, like it spurred a whole movement that's happening in Australia.

And I'm grateful that I got to talk to those two, but it is a father dollar story that will just help you understand just how real this is. These [00:11:00] two questions, whether for a boy or for a girl, Right? Am I enough? Do I have what it takes? Am I beautiful? Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? If you can answer this for your children, and like I said, you'll do so for the rest of your life, if you will answer this over and over and over again and reinforce that they are, that they are enough, that they are amazing, that they are beautiful.

You are proud of them. You're setting your children up for so much better of a future. There are a lot of other things you can do as a dad. And like I said, we have a lot of dad episodes. I'll try and link one of those too, but I promise you these two questions are crucial as a father to reaffirm with your children over and over and over again, will make a huge difference in their lives for the rest of their lives.

Not going to beat a dead horse. So thanks for checking us out. Thanks for hanging out and listening today and be better tomorrow because of what you do today and we'll see on the next [00:12:00] one. This has been the Fallible Man podcast. Your home for everything man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show.

Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own Fallible Man gear.