Principles of Communication: What You Say Versus How You Say it

[00:00:00] Will you play a quick game with me? If you've ever found yourself in a situation where your words were misconstrued, your intentions misread, or your message lost in translation, raise your hand. If you've ever tried to convey something important but ended up in a communication quagmire, raise your hand.

Maybe you've had someone close to you misinterpret your words. Raise your hand. Communication is an everyday aspect of our lives. It can be a minefield of misunderstandings. In a world where people grapple with issues with interacting with loved ones, co workers, peers, or even strangers, this episode is tailor made for you.

So grab your favorite drink, settle in, and let's delve into the art of effective communication.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential, grow into the men we dream of being, while taking [00:01:00] care of our responsibilities? Working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast.

Throughout my journey, I've had the privilege of really rubbing shoulders with incredible speakers, thought leaders, and communication experts. In fact, if you're thirsty for more knowledge on communication, I urge you to explore my previous episode with Jim, with Jim Fuller. If I can say it right and or check out his book, you'll find it listed in my library section on The Fallible Man Podcast.

com slash library. Today we're delving into a specific challenge though, the dichotomy of what you say versus how you say it. By the way, my name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. You're home for all things, man, a special shout out to Fallible [00:02:00] Nation. You guys keep us doing this. That's my private community.

And there's more information below. If you're interested in that warm, welcome to our first time listeners. Hey, thanks for giving us a shot. You can do a lot of things for your time. So I hope you enjoy the episode. Please stick around for more. We'd love to get to know you better in the community. I can't help but recall an invaluable lesson my dad taught me when I was younger.

He stressed that I needed to master the art of controlling my tone in my life. With my physically imposing stature, With my physically imposing stature and a voice that could rival the volume of a bullhorn, he foresaw the likelihood of my words being misconstrued. Now my father standing in a towering 6'5 and weighing 350 plus pounds, was a gentle giant whose whole life was often plagued by misunderstandings.

He knew that I, while not as large, would face similar challenges as a result. So I started having to learn the importance of maintaining a relaxed body [00:03:00] posture and ensuring I was physically on the same levels as I communicated with, and even sometimes lower to make sure I was not intimidating them accidentally just by my presence.

However, my voice continues to land me in a lot of hot water on numerous occasions, and it's something that I actually work on even to this day. I've been podcasting for years with hundreds of episodes, and this is still a work in progress for me guys. Now I wanted to share four things for you to consider that may help lessen those many miscommunications and the things I actively work on in my life.

Because this is something I have to deal with. So the number one is tonality matters. The way you speak is just as important as the words you choose. Your tone can convey a plethora of emotions and intentions. Are you speaking with warmth and sincerity? Or is your tone laced with frustration and impatience?[00:04:00]

The nuances of your voice can make all the difference in whether your message is received as intended. Or misinterpreted for, for a great example. And I love this one is the term let's talk now, a lot of men quake in fear when they hear this from the prominent female in their life, uh, in a romantic relationship, right?

How she says it tells us everything. If it's a, Hey, let's talk. She wants to share something with you when it's let's talk, you're in trouble. All of us know that. It doesn't have to be a romantic partner. We know that from our parents, we know that from our friends, there's a big difference between, Hey, let's talk [00:05:00] and let's talk or let's talk, right?

Tonality matters in a huge way. So keep in mind when you're communicating with people, watch your tone. That was the first lesson my dad taught me in this. Number two is volume matters. The volume at which you communicate plays a crucial role in effective communication. Yelling, it's usually useless. It overwhelms, intimidates, and it closes the other person off entirely to what you're saying.

When something escalates to yelling, the communication has ended, and someone's just venting their emotions. It doesn't actually ever solve anything, and it's something a lot of us guys struggle with. While speaking too softly might leave your message unheard or make people doubt if you really meant to say it at all, or actually have any kind of conviction [00:06:00] behind what you said, finding the right balance in your volume is a key to ensuring that your message reaches the listener without causing discomfort or misunderstanding.

So pay attention to how loud you get. You'll see it in conversations all the time as one person's volume starts to raise. The other person's volume starts to raise and it has to do with emotions. No one likes to be yelled at. No one likes to feel talked down to. And so, right, especially as men, we mirror what's happening

quietly like this. You, you start to wonder if I actually mean what I'm saying. So volume is really going to play an important role in the way you communicate. Number three, your words matter. Word choice. I have not always paid attention to this. Well, but your words carry immense weight when you choose them.

Are you using [00:07:00] words that are clear and unambiguous? Or are you drowning your message in jargon and complexities? Effective communication hinges on your ability to select words that will resonate with your audience. ensuring they grasp your message without confusion or misinterpretation. Careless words, careless word choices can be offensive or completely obliterate whatever message you're trying to convey.

Filler words can undermine your entire conversation just by throwing some filler throwaway words into the conversation. Number four, body language matters. Communication isn't just about what you say. It's also about how you physically convey your message. Now, obviously there's exceptions when you're just on the phone with somebody.

It's a little easier to hide that body language, but it's also not. That's the funny thing that most people [00:08:00] don't understand. Even when you are not face to face with somebody, you can actually hear the shifts in body language because as your body language shifts, your tonality and word choices actually start to change as well.

And so you can actually hear the shift in. Body language. And it's kind of funny. Now your body language can either compliment or contradict your words. A simple gesture or posture can completely change the meaning of what you're trying to express, right? If I say something to you and I fold my arms and really tighten up in the upper body and, you know, squint my eyes a little bit, you're going to assume I'm upset.

You're going to assume that there's a more, a little more malice, a little more anger behind the words, whether there is or not. I may be doing that because [00:09:00] I'm lazy and I'm just folding my arms because it's. Easier than letting them hang at my side or sticking to my pockets and the sun might be in my face.

I have to be really careful when I talk to my customers outside because the fact that I'm staring into the sun can change the way I come across when I speak with people. So understanding the subtleties of body language is key to becoming a more effective communicator. Positioning, posturing, intensity are all very important in the way you present.

I mean, this even carries into your wardrobe in a lot of conversations, how you dress matters as part of your body language, because it says something about you. In a world of communication, there are a difference between misunderstandings and harmonies, lies, and these four fundamental elements. Tonality, volume, word choices, and body language.

While you're navigating personal [00:10:00] relationships, professional endeavors, or everyday interactions, mastering these aspects is a game changer. But here's the kicker. You don't have to tackle this alone. The Fallible Man podcast is committed to helping you become the person you want to be, and that includes In effective communication.

We talk about communication a lot, as well as other aspects of becoming who you want to be. And this is just. Another part of the conversation. So to access more insights, strategies, and advice, make sure to subscribe to the show, join the nation, our vibrant community, our, and embark on a transformative journey with us.

Remember effective communication is not just a skill. It's the key to unlocking a world of understanding, connection, and success professionally, personally, in every part of your life. Subscribe. Now let's embark on this enriching journey together. And until next time be better tomorrow, because what you do today, and we'll see you on the next one.

This has been the fellow man podcast. [00:11:00] You're home to everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe. So you don't miss a show head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own fallible man gear.