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From Fear to Flourishing: Embracing Vulnerability for Personal and Professional Growth - Matt Shoup

If you're feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by your inability to build meaningful connections and achieve the business success you desire, despite your best marketing efforts and networking endeavors, then you are not alone!
In this episode, you wil...

Unleashing the Power of Vulnerability: Connect and Thrive in Business - Matt Shoup

Experience the unexpected twist that ignited Matt Shoup's entrepreneurial journey - a simple drink in a foreign land. Join us as we unravel the threads of vulnerability and storytelling that connect entrepreneurs from all walks of life, and discover how this unexpected twist could shape your own business narrative.

"Dig into your story and understand how you can serve others with it. The richer and more beautiful your life will be". - Matt Shoup

Matt Shoup is a name that resonates with tenacity and determinism. Having had a humble beginning as a young boy in New Jersey who experienced bullying and fear, Matt channeled his entrepreneurial spirit to create his own small business by the age of ten. No stranger to adversity, Matt's path led him through a maze of challenges and experiences, which included a brief stint as a loan officer and subsequent abrupt termination, igniting his journey into starting his own painting business. Capitalizing on his strength in sales and marketing, and using adversity as his fuel, Matt turned a disappointing career setback into a thriving seven-figure enterprise, proving that resilience and drive can indeed turn tables.

  • Discover how to strike a harmonious balance between your personal growth and business success.
  • Harness the power of storytelling, allowing yourself to connect with others on a profound and emotive level.
  • Uncover and embrace your unique life narrative, using it as a tool to build authentic relationships.
  • Overcome fear, seize opportunities for improvement, and foster the courage to take meaningful steps towards a more fulfilling life.
  • Cultivate a nurturing tribe, seek useful guidance, and chart a course for spectacular personal growth.
  • Strike a rewarding equilibrium in your life and business goals allowing for personal exploration and entrepreneurial success.
  • Utilize the persuasive force of stories and vulnerability, and witness the depth of connections you can develop.
  • Learn the art of embracing your unique experiences to forge real connections, built on the immutable foundation of your true self.
  • Conquer fear, step forth into promising territories, and reap the benefits of active engagement in personal improvement.
  • Build a supportive network, gain wisdom from their experiences, and set a trajectory for continuous self-development.
  • Learn the successful merger of personal development with thriving business growth, leading to a balanced life.
  • Adopt the art of storytelling, reaching others' hearts and souls by simply sharing your true self through your vulnerability.
  • Realize the beauty in your uniqueness, and use it as a key to unlock genuine bonds.
  • Win over fear, engage in constructive activities for self-improvement, and witness the betterment of various aspects of your life.
  • Align yourself with a supportive tribe, seek their sage advice, and ascend towards the summit of personal growth.

Building genuine connections and increasing business success through storytelling and vulnerability.

 In the world of business, connections and authenticity play a significant role in building strong relationships and fostering success. Incorporating elements of storytelling into one's business practice helps to create a personal connection between you and your audience or potential clients. A story, when told with sincerity and openness, can more effectively convey your values, principles, and goals than a mere list of facts and figures. This approach not only encourages trust but also sets you apart from others in a similar space. In the podcast, Matt Shoup talks about his personal experience of including storytelling in his sales process. He noticed that leads were more responsive and willing to buy when he shared parts of his journey. This led to a raise in their closing rate by 10% to 15%. Not only did this have a positive impact on his business, but it also led to more genuine relationships with his customers.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:00 - The Importance of Your Story                

00:00:31 - Reaching Our Full Potential      

00:01:20 - Introduction of Matt Shoup       

00:01:56 - Silly Question: How Many Times Do People Laugh?             

00:04:26 - Impactful Purchase: "The Relentless Elimination of Hurry"           

00:06:27 - Weirdest Thing Ever Eaten: Spanish Delicacies        

00:12:42 - The Power of Small Actions       

00:13:14 - The Relevance of Degrees      

00:13:57 - The Life-Changing Camino        

00:14:25 - Coffee Preferences       

00:15:35 - Being a Proud Father        

00:25:14 - The Founding of M and D Painting      

00:26:20 - Taking Control and Building a Successful Business    

00:29:23 - Overcoming Negative Self-Talk        

00:30:52 - The Painted Baby Story      

00:33:48 - The Power of Vulnerability     

00:38:14 - The Power of Storytelling in Sales        

00:39:13 - Seeing Through Inauthentic Marketing        

00:40:46 - Differentiation through Authenticity        

00:42:15 - The Power of Your Story         

00:43:16 - The Three C's of Storytelling      

00:51:25 - Evaluating Your Life and Setting Goals         

00:52:33 - Being Vulnerable in Relationships        

00:54:48 - Facing Your Fears and Secrets      

00:57:09 - Finding Your Tribe          

00:59:54 - Embracing Your Story       

 

Guest Links:

Free Stuff

https://www.mattshoup.com/free-tools/

Website

https://www.mattshoup.com/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/matt.shoup

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mattshoup/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/matthewshoup/

Twitter

https://twitter.com/MattShoup

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/user/ShoupConsulting

Tik Tok

https://www.tiktok.com/@mattshoup

 

 

 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Your story matters and that you matter. And to the degree that you dig into your story and understand it and understand how you can serve other people with it, that the richer and more beautiful your life will be. And um, if you don't feel like there's anybody there that believes in you or appreciates you or you don't think that's possible for you, know that, that I love you.

I believe in you and you've got this. Now go get it.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potentials growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fable Man Podcast.

Welcome to the [00:01:00] Fallible Man Podcast. You're home for all things, man, husband, and father. Big shout out, fallible Nation. You guys make this possible and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. My name is Brent, and today my guest is award-winning serial entrepreneur, author and keynote speaker Matt Shout.

Matt has been featured in publications like the Huffington Post, Fox Small Business, and the B B C. We're excited to welcome here. Matt, welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. Let's not, how you doing, man? I'm, I'm excited about today's show. I've been looking forward to this one, uh, and we, we've had some great conversation before the camera started rolling.

But Matt, I like to start on a nice, fun tone so we have a silly question at the beginning of the show. All right, love it. Let's do it. Let's do it. So the question of today's show is, how many times a day does the average person laugh? Is it a seven B 11 C 13, or D five five? Five. All right guys. Now you know the rules.

Don't jump ahead. Don't try and cheat. Don't look it up. [00:02:00] Make your guests wait for the show. We'll get back to that one. No, ma, I don't do big accolades. I don't do big blah. It, it's annoying people. No, nobody caress, right? No, no. Today, in your own words, who is Matt xo? I'm a Jesus follower. I'm a husband, a father, and I'm an entrepreneur.

And that's just what I do. That's not who I am. So all the things I do on, on the bio, uh, Brazilian Jiujitsu black belt. I love Spain. I'm a Spain fan. Uh, but I, I wake up and I live. My purpose is to inspire others, specifically men in the business space, to own and live their life and business with excellence.

And I just get to go do that every day. Get to wake up, share my story, and the lessons I've learned from it, the good, bad, ugly, and make men better in business. All right. See, you're, and you're the perfect guest to be on my show, aren't you? You, we have some similar, we're on the right place. Right, right.

Yeah. You came to the right show, Matt, what is a talent you possess that some people might find silly? A [00:03:00] talent I possessed. So I used to be able to fold my ears in, into my ears and flip m and ms out of them that I have cauliflower ear now from Jiujitsu, so I can't do that anymore. But it's funny 'cause I've never seen anybody do that.

And I was teaching a kid in Jiujitsu class and he comes up and he goes, look what I can do with my ears. And I, I used to be able to do that. So that was just a, just a fun thing that I wish I could still do. Uh, well, you know, you, you, you did trade some good for some good, so, right. Ju ju has been a very fulfilling part of your life since you took that off.

Yeah. Uh, I was determining that story in your book. So, you know, it's a trade off, right? We, we can't stick with flipping m and air m and ms out of our ears forever. No. As as I grew up, it became less and less, um, Interesting and amusing, but I'm, I'm also fluent in Castilian Spanish. Mm-hmm. And even more so, I'm practicing my Southern Spain and delusion accent of Spanish.

It's just a very unique way that they speak down there. So when I go down there, or I'm [00:04:00] here and I bump into somebody that maybe from Savilla and they're here. Mm-hmm. And you speak and Duluth, they're like, whatcha doing? So, so that's fun. It's a fun part party trick. Well, I, I'd love to say that at 43, I wouldn't think it was great that you could flip Eminem inside of your ears.

But at 43, I would still think that was hilarious. So, no. Matt, what purchase of a hundred dollars or less have you made in the last year that's had the biggest impact on your life? I just started reading the book, the Relentless Elimination of Hurry. Is it the Relentless elimination of Hurry? I don't know why I keep forgetting the first word.

It's either relentless or ruthless. Elimination of Hurry. Uh, and it's an, it's an amazing book. It's written by a Christian pastor who was just, just dying as he was growing these churches. And I read the first two pages and I was hooked. And it's really given some perspective. It, it's a life changer.

'cause it's literally right what I'm going through right now, man. That's when, when you can get it in that, that first page or two [00:05:00] when, when they got, it's like, wow. Some someone that, that was, uh, the relentless elimination of Hurry, Sarah. Yep. Just saw it pop up. Perfect. Thank you Sarah. I told you, man, she takes care of us.

I, I, I couldn't. She's on it, on it. Uh, no. I, I've always like that hook right on, on a book or on, even on a social media post that's, there's an art form to that, to grasp that instant I've got it right. So that's always a good sign for a book. Well, and I, and I, I always look at. A book through the lesson within the book.

But then being an author, I, I've written two books. The first one I had no idea about a hook and a story and you're writing it for the reader, all the components. And then when I did, uh, painted Baby, I really learned that. I worked with a great team of, of, of a publishing company and people that really made it a great book and I'm really proud of it.

And I'm getting feedback from the message and, and they say that they're like the first I was hooked and I wanted to keep reading. And when I read that, I, I [00:06:00] messaged him, I go, what a that he's just a great writer. Great writer and a really important topic. 'cause we all face it. It's a Christian based book from the Christian perspective, but you don't need to believe or follow Jesus to know that you're busy and it's just killing you every day.

Right. There, there are just some things that are incredibly universal. Mm-hmm. And, and good insight is good insight no matter where it comes from. So. Yep. Now, what is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? 'cause I know you travel. Oh, okay. So first thing that comes to mind there, there's two things in Spain.

One's called Morphia or Morsi. Yeah, it's a blood sausage. So it just looks like a dark black chorizo, but it's blood sausage pig intestine just mixed up. And it's not that bad, it's just the thought of it. But then I tried pig ear, um, like a pig's ear, and it was hairy and it was just weird. So, but I've never done anything crazy like eaten crickets [00:07:00] or snake live snakes, anything like that.

Spain's got pretty basic food, a lot of seafood, things like that. But those would be the craziest. A friend of mine recently came back from, Uh, a mission trip in Mexico and he brought chili crickets home. Yeah. I've never done that. Really? Really? Like spicy chili, crickets. It was interesting. I was like, I'm not gonna back down now.

Right. There's big group. Did you do it? He's like, you gotta try it. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna try it. It wasn't bad. It was just crunchy. Right. If, if you can, is it so spicy? Was it so spicy? You didn't know it was a cr No, but the cricut didn't have a lot of flavor. Like it was like a, a crunch or, you know, like a really solid, like, bite into nut kind of crunch.

Mm-hmm. Uh, we just know like there was nothing hard to chew afterwards. Okay. It wasn't like slimy or anything. They were dried. Okay. Hmm. And then, but there was so much, [00:08:00] yeah. There was so much like chi chili and habanero on it. Uh, I, I have a really strong stomach for that. We live in a town that's 90 plus per percent Hispanic.

Oh, got it. Okay. Yeah, yeah, my friend actually. So you're coming across that? Yeah. My friend actually makes artisan hot sauce here in town and sells all over the country and all over the world now. He's international, now. Phenomenal that I like, I, I down have an arrow, hot sauce on everything. So I can't, I can't do spicy.

I'm weak. I'm weak at the spicy, you know, I never did it until my friend started making it because it always just overpowered. Right. I don't want spicy for spicy sake. Mm-hmm. But his maintains the flavor all the way through the heat and the flavor is just so good that we're off track. So you're you, I saw you take a drink of your coffee.

That is actually my next question. Tell us what is Cafe Seville? Yeah, so Cafe Seville, so this all started as I lived in Spain in college 20 years ago. Fell in love with the country and the culture and everything about it. [00:09:00] Came back stateside and I was debating whether I'm gonna go back and start and have a life there or stay in in the States.

And I stayed in the States. I met my wife, got married, we start going over to Spain every year and I love showing it to the family. I'm going with my daughter in a few weeks and I love the way they drink coffee. So they drink something called Cafe Che. It's coffee with milk. That's how it translates. So it's almost in between a cortado and a small latte.

It's just a couple shots of rich, bold espresso with steamed whole milk. That's the traditional way to make it. And you know, proportionately you can make it a little stronger, little weaker, but I would go to Spain for our, our trips, our vacations, and I'd bring an extra suitcase and just fill it with this brand of coffee that I loved.

For me initially, primarily because I'm addicted, man, it's, it's bad. I do need to get help for that. Um, so I'd start bringing it back and then a friend would come over, Hey, try this Spanish coffee and. There's no such thing as Spanish coffee [00:10:00] beans. I just call it Spanish coffee. It's how they drink coffee in Spain.

And they said, bring me some of that back next time. So that turns into gifts for friends, gifts for clients. Then I went to Amazon, started buying boilers and it became really costly. Uh, the aluminum boilers are not as healthy, they say, to boil and drink water out of a stainless steel. So then covid happens and I can't go to Spain, can't bring coffee back.

The coffee that my friend was now shipping me, angel, uh, who's a big part of Cafe Illa, he's shipping these big packets of coffee and customs is cutting 30% of it open. 'cause that's how you hide drugs. Yeah. And I'm like, there's gotta be a way to figure this out and make this easier. So we found out the beans are from Kenya and I'm like, huh, where can I get Kenyan coffee beans?

And my friends from Kenya, his family has a coffee farm. So we'd literally buy a 160 pound bag right from the farm. It gets directly shipped. There's no other hands in it. Right. Goes to a local. To a gentleman I trained Brazilian Jiujitsu with years ago, who's a coffee expert, coffee roaster, his name [00:11:00] Diego.

So it's locally sourced, ethically sourced, locally roasted, and we've created Cafe Seve out of what happened one day somebody was in here trying the coffee, and I said, Hey, would you like some coffee? And I gave it to him. He goes, man, you know, can I, how much is this? Because I had the little bag set up and everything, and I go, I don't, I don't, I don't charge for coffee.

I'm not, I'm not in the coffee business. I got too many other businesses. I just wanna do this for, for fun. And he's like, well, I'm gonna leave a tip in this jar, find something good to do with it. And in 2007 we started a scholarship at Colorado State University to send students to Spain. It's an endowment so it grows.

Mm-hmm. There's a, a base of money and it kicks off interest like a mutual fund. And, um, we've sent 17 students that will be the 18th student since oh seven. And I go, huh? Like, I'm, I just, you know, you have these light bulbs that connect a couple dots. And I go, hold on a minute. I just love. Sharing love and the culture of Spain with people, and they just wanted to gimme money for this.

So how about all the money goes towards the [00:12:00] scholarship? So Cafe Svia exists to literally show love to people by sharing Spanish coffee with them. And the second purpose is to raise money for the scholarship. So now we've got a Shopify, anybody, anyone in the United States, you can go to mat shop.com, go buy the coffee.

It's just part of who I am. They'll ship it right to you and you're gonna be part of a student's life. And I'll tell you, a hundred, like a hundred dollars donation to that will kick off. 5%. $5, right? Mm-hmm. How's that gonna change a student's life? Okay. Cup of coffee in Spain's a couple euros. Couple bucks, right?

So say you, you do that they can have a conversation with their future spouse, a future employer, a future person that comes into their story. And I know we're gonna talk about story today. There's people that have come into my story, angel being one of them, who built this big mural for Cafe Svia. And literally you could donate some money that changes the direction of somebody's life.

And just with, with a, with a small little thing. And it's just cool. It, it's, it's just fun to do. And, uh, we [00:13:00] get, we have it downstairs. We'll have to, I'll get some shots for you so you can post it up on the show. Okay. We'll do that. Sorry, it's a little, a little drawn out. Go to, if you go to the website there, we have a little documentary about a 10 minute where I explained it.

And it's fun. I just, uh, went to speak at Colorado State University's campus, uh, at, at a career panel. And it was very interesting 'cause they asked me to speak truly about the reality of what I experienced with a foreign language degree. And I shared with them how relevant a degree and a piece of paper was, which really isn't.

And I talked to them about the experiences you have or what matter, and some of them were not interested or wanting to hear that. Mm-hmm. And I speak, honestly, I said, this world that you live in right here, it's a different world outside. And if you're gonna go outside of it, you need to know. And, um, you know, couple.

People really shut me out. Uh, and one girl came up to me at the end and it was one of the scholarship students. She's like, the Camino changed my life. I met her before she [00:14:00] went. I knew she was gonna go. Hadn't heard from her, didn't know she was there. And there's a photo on my Instagram if you go check it out, and, uh, posted a few days ago.

Sarah wants to pull it up, but we're standing there and, um, changed her life. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. Okay. Yeah. Now guys, of course we'll have links for that in the show notes with everything else. That way you can check out the coffee. Um, Matt was kind enough to send us some coffee to try out. And Sarah's you didn't like it?

I didn't like it. It's okay. Not everybody does. No, it's okay. My wife likes to call me a, a coffee barbarian. Like I, you a snob. I'm a bit of a snob and I want it to be good coffee, but I also like, I, I drink it with either black or. With, yeah. I only generally drink dark roast. I don't like that. That's your, that's your issue.

That's your issue. Yeah. We didn't roast it real heavy and hard like they do at, say, like a Starbucks. We, that's more medium. It's a little more medium smooth. Yeah. We, the roast a little bit. Okay. [00:15:00] We, we, we compromise on the blend we get, but it's, it's a dark roast. It's just not the darkest roast I could buy.

Right. Okay. Okay. Maybe I'll roast you a special bag and send it back out. Sarah, Sarah's a medium roast person and she likes it, but generally I'm a black coffee or if I need to spice it up a little bit, I had a touch of creamer. You know, it's, I'm not very adventuresome. You can drop a spicy cricket. I see.

If he has anymore just a couple shots of hot sauce, you know, pick it up a notch. Right. No. Matt, what are you most proud of? My family. My kids. I get, I get to see, it's, it's hard work to raise a family. And I came from a background where, again, on paper we'll talk about it. I shouldn't be here talking about running businesses.

I should be dead or in prison. I just saw a lot, went through a lot, got bullied a lot, didn't have a lot of tools to know what it means to be a man and, and how the hell am I gonna raise a family? You know? I can't even figure out my own stuff. I didn't [00:16:00] figure out stuff till later on in life. I wasn't that put together.

And I'm still not, um, for a long time. But when I see my son and my daughter at 15 and 12 just out interacting in the community teaching here at the Jiujitsu Academy and they come up and say, good job, mom and dad. Like those are good kids. And good kids are signs of good parents. I'm really proud of that.

That's, that's something as a proud father, trust me, I I can totally ize that is something you to be proud of, right? Yeah. When someone else is going, man, you, you're, what are you doing with your kids? 'cause you're doing something right. That's, uh, that's, that's an incredible feeling. So, and, and then understanding when you do something not right or wrong and that you can actually have an open conversation with the kids about that.

I'm very big into, I work in this space of communication, understanding personality styles, leadership, leadership languages. Hey, take accountability for when, like, I was a jerk to my family just a couple days ago. I've been [00:17:00] running, burning the candle at both ends. And no matter what they said when I got home I was gonna snap.

It's just where I was at. And I did, and then I immediately recognized that and just owned it. And they're like, we love you dad. Um, my son has this saying, he goes, are you being a dick Tater again? Because I do, I have a little bit of that personality style. I can bend my thing and he'll pause Dick Tater. I was gonna say the, the power of a pause for effect.

Right. Well, and that's our, that's our thing. Like we have, we have these family sayings and expressions that nobody else would know what they're that one, you know, but we just have these little things that it's, it's our shout family thing. And uh, that was one that we came up with. It's his way to, in a funny way, when I'm, you know, just getting off value of who I am, um, to say it.

And it just resets things versus like, dad, what's your problem? What's your, what's your problem, son? And then we [00:18:00] do juujitsu together. 'cause he's good at juujitsu. He, he can choke me.

Guys we're, we're spending a little time getting to know Matt, uh, just so you know who he is and where he is coming from. In the next part of the show, we're gonna dive into Matt's story and the missing piece in connecting with people as a person and, and in business. We're gonna roll through our sponsor and we will be right back with more.

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Now let's go on to the show. Alright guys, welcome back. In the first part of the show, we spent some time just getting to know Matt a little bit, just. Figuring out who he is and what he's all about. In this part of the show, we're getting into Matt's story and some of the missing pieces in connecting with people as, as a person and, and as a business owner.

Now, Matt, I feel like we really kind of gotta lay some groundwork here. So before there was Matts entrepreneur author of an excellent book keynote speaker, there was Matt, the burnout loan officer who hated his job. Yeah. So take us back a little bit before March, 2005, because I think a lot of our listeners can really connect to Matt right there.

So, so, leading up to that, right? That's 2005. I'm 23, but I go back to leading up to about 10 years old in New Jersey and I was scared, bullied, easy [00:20:00] target. Not confident, but brilliant little Matt growing up in New Jersey and I just got bullied a lot on, on the playground, like by the same girl every day.

And I didn't really fit in. I wasn't the sports kid or the popular kid. I was a goofy buck tooth little guy. Easy target. And um, couldn't find really confidence or certainty in a lot of things. I felt scared. And we moved out of New Jersey to Colorado and literally all the kids I ran around with, uh, dead in prison, disappeared.

I would've been a drug dealer. And, and I say that because at 10 years old, I asked my parents for some money for a boombox. They said, Nope, figure out a way to make it. So I grabbed the lawnmower, started a lawn mowing business at 10 years old. And when I saw that validation and that, that serving of a, of a purpose, I set a goal, I received what I was looking for, and I was good at it.

You could beat me up in the, on the playground, but you were never gonna beat me at business. So I would win magazine sale contest. I was hustling candy bars at school. That was my [00:21:00] thing. I was marketing and a sales guy. Um, but I didn't know what it meant to be a man. And because of a lot of these experiences growing up, my default emotion was, was anger.

My default purpose was to prove myself to the world and the default. Patterns that I ran were betrayal programs or you gotta look over your shoulder 'cause everybody's out to get you and you can only build relationships if you even do so close. But then the shoe's gonna drop, they're gonna screw you over.

So I just say all that because I get into college, work with a college painting company, make a bunch of money with this college painting company. They, they reignited my passion for entrepreneurship. But I spent all plus more of the mon money that I made. But I knew business was my thing, but I'm not gonna do the painting thing.

So March of 2005, I had graduated Colorado State University. I had this semester in Spain. Thought about going back. But then I meet my, my wife Emily of [00:22:00] we're, we're soon coming up on 20 years and I'm working at a mortgage banking job that I hate. And the transition from running college, painting to, what am I gonna do?

I get married by a house, I'm in debt. I bought a house, the guy doing the mortgage, it looked sexy. He was making a bunch of money. I was very driven by money. It was an idol of mine. And the more money I made, the more accepted I thought I would be, or purposeful that I thought I would be. So I'm just hating life at this job.

And I'm coming home every day. I'm talking to Emily. Hey, I'm plotting my escape, right? And I'm gonna do it on my own terms and my own time. I walk in Tuesday morning, they bring in a new bank president and he's calling people into his office to meet everybody. And, uh, three, four people come in. And then he calls me into the office.

I go, great. He's gonna, uh, Chad's gonna gonna meet me. So I walk into the office, he's leaned back in a big, big banker's desk, suit and tie, and I say, Hey, nice, nice to meet you. I'm Matt, and he does this. Put all your [00:23:00] shit in a box. You're fired. And I look at him, what he leans in, cinch up his little banker's tie, said Maybe you should go back and do that painting thing.

And they threw me out of the bank. I'm standing in the parking lot with all of my professional belongings in a box and I have to make what? $2,800 in 28 days. Literally just, just got kicked in the nuts. Um, and there, there I was and I had to come home and have an answer for Emily. That was my first thought is, you know, there's, there's all these emotions, these negative emotions.

I'm, I'm starting to get emotionally hijacked and then I stand there and go, okay, what am I gonna do? I need to have an answer and be able to do something to support the family. So I jump in the car, drive home. I called a few painters that I worked with in college painting. So I didn't tell Emily first. I said, Hey guys, gimme 30 days and we're gonna get back to work.

'cause one of these painters told me, Hey, Matt, you're not gonna [00:24:00] like that banking thing. They're gonna, they're gonna fire you. This guy's funny. He was an older painter, uh, years older than me. He'd been doing it a long time. He goes, you're not really a banker guy. You're mortgage Matt. He's like, nah, you're gonna get, you're gonna get fired.

And I called him and he's like, what are you doing? I said, Hey, you remember that thing you told me? He's like, I told you. So they fired you, didn't they? And I said, Hey, you know, we're gonna go do this. Um, I drive home. It's noon-ish. It's lunchtime ish, and Emily's home. She was working part-time for like nine bucks an hour at an adult respite care facility.

And, um, she was paying some of the bills, but we couldn't pay all the bills if it wasn't for, you know, what I was making. And it was the typical like, honey, I'm home. She said, you home for lunch? I go, yeah. She goes, you're home for lunch A little early. I said, yeah, permanent lunch. And we had a quick conversation.

I don't remember a lot of the conversation, but I was pissed, man. F f this guy f him. And I send him an email and she's like, Hey, what are we gonna [00:25:00] do? What are you gonna do? You're, you're a doer, you take action. And I said, I'll, I'll be back later. We're starting a painting business and I took the last a hundred dollars that we really could spare.

And if I could have opened the bank account with less, with $50, it would've been $50. And that was the founding of m and d painting. And I went out and I picked one method that I knew would generate me business. And that's all I did. And everything was on the line. And again, remember that I'm, I'm pissed off.

This guy just betrayed me, right? He just reconfirmed my belief about the world that what I found out 10 years later in the business just sabotaged me every day in my leadership. But that's how I built a multimillion dollar company in five years. Being just, just mad and totally not self-aware. Um, and, and, and lots of other things.

So that's a little bit about me and the story and some of the underlying things that. Men need to explore and understand about themselves to become better men, especially in business. 'cause [00:26:00] your business will only grow to the degree that you do. And if you don't know what's going on, like if you can't pull back the curtain and the layers and look at it, you're just gonna bring whatever you have good and bad serving and sabotaging into your business.

Alright, lemme, lemme pause you right there because I, I wanna thank you. I, I wanna stop for one second right here. Okay. Make one, one point guys. Okay. So in March, 2005, he gets canned right now some of us can sympathize with that. We've been through this. You launched your founding business, what really catapulted you down this road?

Mm-hmm. Yes. With a hundred dollars. Yes. Which today is an eight figure award-winning company. So for everyone out there who identifies with be burnout, With hating their jobs. Sorry, six figures. I'm just doing the math. I'm, I'm like, oh, let's go. No, we, we do, yeah, we do seven figures a year. To date, we've done, yeah, 30, 40 million a year for painting.

We do about [00:27:00] two and a half million a year. Okay. So seven figures a year. That's still, honestly, that's, we're like, you know, shooting of the wind there. It's like, okay, there's not a huge, but for everyone out there who identifies as burnout in their jobs or hating their jobs, because I know I would lift that for a long time.

I, I want to clarify this. Was it magic or can anybody go, you know what, I'm taking control. I'm gonna do it. I don't think there's magic, so there's something always to be said about having the right. Place, right time, right Skillset set. Those things align and things happen. So I had four years experience running a painting company.

So I call it the, the JV experience, right? Like I didn't just show up to the, to the ball game and all of a sudden the champion, you know, 'cause I came, 'cause I came out of nowhere in the painting industry. They're like, who's m and e? And then it, it, it, it ruffled a lot of feathers. But I was working in learning the business.

So there was that. But [00:28:00] you can do whatever you want to do in life and you need to decide what you want and then it should, it needs to become a must. And there and there's a way to do that. There's a, there's a framework to do that. I had my backup against the wall I know now. And I didn't realize then that I thrive in that scenario.

Some people die in that scenario. So I like, I'm putting my, my back against the wall right now with the business I'm in now. 'cause I thrive in it. You have to follow a set of frameworks and protocols if it's a business. Ac d c is a, uh, framework that Mike Alig talks about in his book, clockwork. It stands for Attract, convert, deliver, collect.

It's the four pieces of business, right? Keep it simple. He keeps business simple and simplifies things. And I was really good at attracting business by knocking on doors and then selling the jobs. I suck at painting. I suck at process. I suck at systems. I suck at delivery. I can't [00:29:00] paint. I, I don't keep the books balanced or in order, but I leaned into my superpower.

So somebody's watching this and they're, well, how did, how did, you can tell you exactly where the a hundred dollars went and how I, how I built it, if somebody wants to know that. But you can do it. And many times, the voice in between your own two ears is the loudest, most negative one that tells you you can't.

I like that you recognize your strong points. Yeah. And you focused on doing that and bringing in other people to do your weak points, right? Mm-hmm. You went, this is what I'm good at, so this is what I'm gonna do. Now I gotta find people who can fill these positions and well, and, and I'd always paint I my painter coffee.

So I love, I just, I've always drank and, and loved coffee. One of my painters, he, he had a same coffee every morning, you know, caramel Crunch coffee and bring it out to the job site. And he's out there painting, you know, painting the house. And I'd say, Hey, pick up a caulking gun real quick. [00:30:00] And he's like, put that, put that down.

Go sell jobs. You suck caulking. And then I, or I'd call out on a job to do final touchups, right? So when you paint a house, the, the crew tells you it's done, and maybe the homeowner's not home. You send them to the next job and they say it's done right. Homeowner gets home five o'clock, you go do the walkthrough.

So I would go do the walkthrough and there's a punch list. There's always a punch list, right? And then I pick the brush up and start, you know, start, just do little, little stuff. I just created a bigger punch list, so, so don't, don't create bigger punch list in your life or your profession or, or whatever that is.

If we're using the, the paint job analogy. Okay. So in your business you had an encounter that kind of laid the groundwork for where we are today with stuff mm-hmm. And changed a lot. So tell us a little bit about Bill and the pain of baby story. Yeah. Yeah. So I have always loved and been a student of sales.

From the first door I [00:31:00] knocked mowing lawns to every business that I ever had. I've been directly front facing, involved in the sales. The college painters really helped clarify a process and that process that we learned was very old school. The, the Glen Gary Glen Ross always closing, don't take no for an answer.

Hard driving sales. And I was good at it and it works. I don't think that's the best way to sell. But that's how I sold. And part of that is you share the, all of the features and benefits and why you're so amazing, why you're so excellent. A plus five star shiny marketing brochure. And we're, let's see, six years into business.

And I'm sitting across the table from a customer of mine, his name's Bill, self-made guy, very successful, huge mansion on the golf course. And we had done small paint jobs for him. He's very direct, and I realize this. So I go in, we have coffee, we sign the deal, paint the job, and it's done. And I'm sitting though with him about to [00:32:00] close the biggest business deal of my life.

It's $60,000 job. So perspective, it's 20 times the size of the normal $3,000 paint job that we, that we did. And I was excited because I was really burned out in business. I was doing too much and too many things and, and really getting pulled away from the family. This job would allow us to bring people and resources and just to free me up a little bit.

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna close this deal, right? Which close am I gonna use on Bill? So I sit down, we do the normal coffee thing, and I ask him for the business very directly. And he said, no, I'm not ready to do this. And it kind of caught me off guard. So this objection handling tennis match, we go back and forth.

And the more I'm trying, the more I'm painting this picture of perfection and reminding him about the a plus five star shiny marketing brochure. His review's even in it, I'm opening it up and showing him the review. He picks it up, throws it across the, the office, this shiny marketing brochure goes, your shiny marketing brochure goes crap.

[00:33:00] Tell me about a time you screwed up and what you did about it. And, uh, he, he froze me right in my tracks. Nobody had ever asked me this before. You don't earn business that way. You don't build relationships that way. You have to be perfect. And, um, I sat there for a minute. And he said, we're, we're not doing this till you tell me something.

I go, all right. We painted the wrong color on a house once, and he could've cared less about that. So we painted the right color, we painted it on the wrong house once. And when I said that, he leaned in, I had him hooked and he said, you did tell me about that. Tell me more. He said he had, no one's ever said, tell me more.

When I was spewing and selling and telling and puking all over with the feature benefits. So I share it with him and he still doesn't sign the contract. I'm like, what do you want from me, bill? He goes, I just feel like you got something better. And I said, fine. We painted a baby once. Okay, you wanna hear about that?

And he, he kinda stops dead in his tracks, leans back, you did what? You painted a bait. What the, what the heck? I wanna hear about that. [00:34:00] So I shared the story of three years prior to that, we're on a job site and pair of brothers blossom, Raul. They were painting a bunch of houses for us. They'd worked with us for a number of years, two brothers from Mexico, and we both speak each other's first and second languages opposed.

So we spoke a lot of Spanglish together and I'm 20 minutes away from a job site. Raul calls me, I miss a bunch of calls. I finally call him back and he's screaming hysterical. There's a woman screaming, baby crying in the background and he says, mate, Mateo, come quick. I paint the baby. And he hangs the phone up and, uh, speed over to the job site.

And I pull up to black paint covered everywhere, up and down the driveway, all over, both painters. I follow the trail to the backyard and the paint sprayer exploded. All over we raul's getting ready to spray a door. It was a one in a million, never had happened, nor nor will happen again. We don't really know why Paint sprayer blew up.

Mom is standing there with a nine month old [00:35:00] baby. 'cause she had brought the guys out drinks and snacks. She's checking out the job. That's just who she was and what she did every day. And that happens all the time. Now they're covered in, in paint. So we painted a baby and I can't believe so I'm telling you this story, what a decade later, and I've told this story to hundreds, maybe thousands of entrepreneurs all over the place, right?

But I can't believe, can't believe I'm saying this to him, but he's engaged, he's, he's responsive, he's hooked. I'm taking him through this experience. And ultimately what he wanted to know is, it's one thing to say that I'm trustworthy or my company has a core value of excellence, integrity. But when did I ever really get to show that to him?

Right. Nothing ever went wrong on the job. And I'm taking him through and literally transporting him into standing right here with me. Just imagine this, right? He said, well, what did you do about it? And I told him what we did about it. How we [00:36:00] systematically processed through the triage, made sure everybody was okay, baby was okay, and, and had to clean up a mess.

And it cost us money. It cost us time. It was a lot of work. It wasn't planned for. It was hard. It was difficult. And that tested what we stood for, which was we're always gonna do the right thing. Right? And, and you say this with all the shiny marketing brochure, but it's never tested until stuff goes bad.

And, uh, I said, Hey, clients ended up being happy. They were forgiving. They were, we laughed about it at the end. It wasn't funny when it happened, and I didn't think that, that it would become a book. I really, I, I have no idea. I'm just like, like, we're gonna go to jail. Our business is gonna get shut down.

Imagine if the, the competition hears about this, and he's so, bill sticks, his hand across the table, shakes it. Signs the deal. You're the kind of guy I wanna do business with, and my mind was belonging. I, I didn't get what was happening at the time I do now. And the thesis is that painting a picture of perfection prevents true connection.

We [00:37:00] live in a society where everybody does it everywhere you go. We over promise and under deliver with who we are, what we provide, and everybody's posturing consistently with each other. And then we don't meet this expectation and then turn around and beat ourself up because we see it all on social media, right?

Get this, this dopamine fixing. Like, but I'm not that person. I can't, you know, we were talking about podcast and private, so I get the downloads or whatever, right? Then you feel bad, so you just strive for something that's unattainable. And I, and, and the thesis goes, Hey, what if, like, what if business is just about showing up as who you are?

The good, the five star, but the imperfections. The skeletons in the closet. And you be vulnerable and you be brave and you share that story. Then you use that story as a way through a process of storytelling and, and structuring things into a sales process to build real connection and trust. Because when I did that, the conversations he and I had moving forward changed.

'cause he would open up about things [00:38:00] that he had never opened up about before. Just show up who you are, imperfections and all. Just show that you're human, show that you're real and people will see that and respond to that and you'll dive deeper with them. And then that deeper connection is where the real trust is.

'cause there's the, I know you like, you trust, you have sales pitch. Oh, okay. That trust is like, okay, I don't think he's gonna steal one of my kids and drive off kind of trust. But then that, you know, what if something, what if a $20,000 accident happens? And, um, I went out and I tested it. I'm, I'm very scientific at times with this can't just be for your listeners or for me, a fun story.

I, I went out and I tested telling this story in an experiment where I controlled everything else I was doing in sales. And then I interjected this story at different places and times in the sales process, and it raised our closing rate 10 to 12 to up to 15%, and then I was able to translate and transfer that process to the team.

So the hard dollars and cents [00:39:00] was a lot, and it then made business just easier because we weren't setting this level of business that you just can't and don't attain make believe. It's, yeah. And it's like I, and I love marketing and marketing hobby and like, we're in this, right? We're in this space and we're talking about how does somebody come and, you know, how do you hook 'em?

And, but so much of it that spits out at the end is bull crap. There's there's not real, there's not real guys, there's not real businesses. And I can see through it now. I have to, I wrote the book about it, right? I got pitched by a mortgage guy the other day and I just, I wanted to hang up on him. Because it was just fake.

And, and it was, and I knew it. And he kinda lied a little bit about how he got connected to me, but that's his pitch. And I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna shoot straight with him. And I did. I said, Hey, thank you for the call. Appreciate your work. And here's, 'cause he didn't, he just thought I was a realtor.

'cause he found me in the realtor database. I said, who, who talked to you about me? And I could tell that he [00:40:00] didn't know that I speak or write or anything like that. And I said, Hey, my, my lender that I work with in real estate's my best friend. And if that ever didn't happen anymore, that would be a bigger problem for me personally than business.

But I also, I already have seven lenders that, that I really close with. And um, so you don't have a chance from a sales standpoint, I'm sorry, but you have a great pitch. And I said, just go to my website and um, see if anything that I do can help you. And he reached out to me 'cause he watched Painted Baby and he's like, I loved that.

I wish I would've done that before. And. Then he got a little vulnerable and, and I sent him a video with some tips and, uh, we, we build a deeper connection. So I hope that changes his approach and style of doing business. 'cause you get lost in the shuffle. Everybody's saying the same crap in the same way that that's always the, you know, trying of reading through your book, one of the things you pointed out, right.

Everybody's trying to be a little different. Right. That difference is better. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Heard that so many times. Guys, [00:41:00] before we start tearing into how this applies to your life, okay, we gotta take a break here. Uh, mask bin, just. Drawing an incredible picture for us. But guys, we're gonna take this a step further because you know how I like to do this.

I want you to understand how this applies to your life and what you can do with this. The kind of power this gives you to connect with people both personally and professionally. So we're gonna roll to sponsor and we will be right back with more from out shop. Now, before we go any further, I wanted to share with you guys, I don't always tell you how much I love doing my podcast.

Like I passionately love what I'm doing and one of the things that makes my life better as a podcaster is to work with a company like Grow Your Show. Grow Your Show is a one stop podcast. Do it all. Now I use Grow Your Show for my marketing, but Grow Your Show is literally a one stop shop. You can record your episode and just drop it off with them and they take it from there.

It's amazing. If you are interested in picking up podcasting as a hobby, or maybe you're looking to [00:42:00] expand your business and use podcasting in that aspect, talk to my friends over grow Your Show. Adam will take care of you. I guarantee it. I trust him. He's my friend, he's my business colleague, and I wouldn't trust anybody else with my show.

Alright guys, welcome back. In the last part of the show, we are getting to know Matt's story and what, what really was the secret sauce that helped him change his business as he looked to business and people from a different perspective. And this part of the show, we're gonna get into your very most powerful tool, guys.

And that's not an eloquent way to say it because I'm not an eloquent guy, but seriously, your most powerful tool. Now storytelling is quite possibly the oldest art form in the history of man. Our histories were passed down this way. The great stories last for thousands of years or more. We surround ourselves with books, shows, movies, and every other form of storytelling you can think of.

My daughters love it when I tell stories. They like the real stories, they like the made up stories 'cause they're younger. They still like daddy's stories. They love to ask me about my [00:43:00] scars. Your story has power and it's uniquely yours. And Matt has learned a thing or two about how powerful that story can be.

And how that you can apply that to your life as a person, as a business owner. And we're gonna dig into that. So, Matt, before we get dig in, I gotta say it was Dirty Pool in chapter 10, the story about Hailey helping with the dog at the accident scene with the dog. Yeah. Oh my. As a father, like, I instantly teared up.

I'm like, oh, right. I got two little girls. So proud of her. So proud of her. Yeah. That story is great story. Kind of dirty pull, man, that hit the heart string so hard. Uh, I might've, I might've been trying to do that a little bit, you know? Yeah. It, I was like, you know, there was, there's some strategy there, but at the same time it's like, wow.

But I, I instantly teared up a little bit. I was like, man, that what a, what a moment as a father. Right. Thank you for sharing that. So the, the backstory is I'm writing the book and I'm sitting with the publisher and we're, we're working through the, the [00:44:00] point of that chapter is to talk about that, that leaders go first.

And part of the good book is you don't want it to be too many of your stories or. You wanna have a good balance of stories and other people's stories. And I was really debating, do I keep this in here? Do I not keep it in here? And then Dave Sanderson's story follows that, that's your leaders put themselves last.

Mm-hmm. And, and it all tied together, but it almost, it almost, we were questioning whether it went in the book, but you and a few other people that I've recently talked to, love that, love that story. She still gets, she still gets emotional about it though. Just, just going back to it, you know, she's 12 now.

Yeah. And, um, she, she loves being on the cover. She loves being on the cover. And, uh, she's like, come on, chapter 10. She goes, chapter 10 still is a crazy day. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not gonna spoil the whole big guys. Wow. That. Thank you. You're gonna love that part when you get to the book. Now, Matt, in chapter six, you, you help focus on helping people find their story because everyone's got a story, right?

This is, [00:45:00] this is something people struggle with, uh, is believing they have a story. So you, I love that you dedicated a chapter to helping people like. Understand. Yes. You have a story. It has value. Mm-hmm. Tell our listeners about the power of the unique story. So a as you already said, right? This story is uniquely yours when we're in business, or, or maybe you're trying to, you're, you're not a business owner and you wanna date, uh, nice, nice lady, okay?

You're gonna have a pitch, you're gonna have a storied In business, we have to attract somebody with something. And there's all these $99 programs out there that tell you, you know, hook this and a lot of them, but it's not unique to you, right? There's a formula, but you have to find what makes you, you, what makes you different, what makes you stand out.

And there's a lot of ways to spin a product or a surface or whatever. And I did that with painting, but nobody has your story. Nobody has what you went through. And the more that you can go back and explore it and be self-aware of what you learned [00:46:00] from it, and then the biggest thing in business is the lesson you learned from it.

How did it make you better? But then that's how it made you better. How does that serve your customer? And you can't do that when you're being perfect all the time. So in chapter six, I talk about the first C in the three Cs of storytelling. So there's actually six Cs of brave and vulnerable storytelling.

The previous chapters I talk about getting called out, considering, and then committing to change. That's the three Cs of changing your story. Chapter six is capture. Capture, craft communicator, the three Cs of telling story. You can't tell a story that you don't know exists or where it exists or why it exists.

So it's literally a discovery process, a brain dump that's flying around everything that you've been through at a 30,000 foot view, and then a round side upside down. And looking at those moments that really defined you and, and getting it out of your brain, your conscious and your subconscious in, in the best way you can.

Whether it's written, [00:47:00] spoken, just literally throwing it all up and looking at it, and then looking at it from another angle. It's um, it's like cooking a Spanish, love to cook Spanish paella. You're just starting to get all of the ingredients and put 'em out and they're just sitting on this table. And then from there, you need to craft it or cook it, follow a recipe, and then ultimately tell the story.

Um, but people don't, I didn't, I never did. I, I never took the time to do that 'cause I was too busy trying to sell and. Thought I was building relationships the other way. I, I actually wanna, for all of you listening, I'll, I'll show Matt, I, I actually have the three Cs of change bookmarked, uh, to, to come back to that point in the book.

Uh, I was showing him that on the video, but yeah, I actually have like a, a note in there 'cause I wanna come back through that section again. 'cause I think there's just so much value there. But one of the things you, you point out is that there's a [00:48:00] difference between honesty and vulnerability. So Yes.

Why is it the vulnerability is so critical to a powerful story? The, the difference between honesty and vulnerability, it gets used interchangeably. Sometimes there's no risk involved with one and there is with the other. So I can be, I can be honest with you and say, Hey, I drink too much Spanish coffee. I think I'm addicted to coffee.

Like you're not, you ain't gonna judge me because of that. There's no fear of a broken or missing or different relationship, but I'm being honest, right? So people can be honest, but never vulnerable. But it, it's when I tell you, Hey, you know, in 2016 after I came back from Spain, I was drinking too much whiskey in Spain.

And I can say that now because I've processed through that, but I, I couldn't say that to a lot of people in 2017, 18, if that makes any sense. So, so stepping out of that, what are they gonna think of me? I'm the buttoned up business guy. I was getting, I was drinking a [00:49:00] lot of wi in Spain, a Jack and Coke is half jack, half Coke, and it's a big goblet, like a king's goblet.

Yeah. And I drink 2, 2, 3 of those some nights at, at dinner with, with, with the family, you know, and, and they knew. So yeah, there, there's, there's a step into that. Ooh, if, when I do this vulnerability is when I, when I do this, when I say this, What's this person gonna do? How are they really gonna respond? And then right before you do it, you do it and you put it out and you see what happens.

And then wait, they had the same thing too, right? They're human too. And then, oh my gosh, they're, we're so relieved. Right? So you just expanded your comfort zone a little bit. Now, now we, for this, because I can, I can hear the mental protest, right? Guys aren't listening to the say out loud. I can hear the mental protest right now.

Mm-hmm. Of guys going, wait, 'cause vulnerability's not our favorite subject. It's not something [00:50:00] we're a little No, no, no. But I love that you actually put an entire book in our entire chapter in the book on that. So, so chapter 11 is called, yeah. But yeah, but, and, and guys, I, I don't wanna dig too deep into that.

But understand for all of the, all of you guys who are out there going, wait, wait, wait, wait. Brent, why are we talking about vulnerability again? He, he planned for this. There, there's a contingency in there. There's a chapter just for us, trust me, I read it too. It is for you or whoever's doubt it in there, just for us who are a little uncomfortable with the whole concept of vulnerability.

Uh, vulnerability in business is terrifying. Vulnerability personally is, you know, a nightmare. But Matt, it's the biggest problem as a host, right? And, and you're finding gonna find this out as you dig into being a podcaster, uh, mass launching, launching a podcast, by the way, guys. So wait for that. [00:51:00] And by the time this post, it's out by the time that when, when this comes out, it's out.

Yeah. All right. So go check out Mass podcast. But one of the things you're gonna find is one of the hardest things as a host is like, Man, how do I distill? There's so much that I wanna cover out of this and out of your story. Like how do I distill that down to one show? Uh, yeah. Which is incredible. So Matt, I really wanna dig into application 'cause that's big for what we try and do with our audience.

Yeah. So coming out of this episode mm-hmm. What are the first three steps our listeners can take right now to put themselves on a better path with this practice? Yeah, so the first step that I, that I would say, and, and then I'll apply the processes in this book, is to just evaluate your life, break it up into domains, get a piece of paper and a pen, write number one, then write all of the domains, all of the things you participate in.

So your roles, your titles, [00:52:00] father. Husband, business person, community member, and just write yes or no. Am I, am I am, am I getting what I want? Am I clear on what I want? And am I getting what I want? So am I clear on what I want, yes or no? If yes, am I getting what I want? No. And just see where you are or aren't getting what you want.

And then the second question would be where, and if you're sharing stories, to what degree are you being vulnerable in any kind of storytelling, in those relationships? And then just overlay that with, I, I am or I'm not. And this is a hard thing to do because you see, okay, well Matt did it in this big business scenario.

Now he's sharing the whiskey thing on a, on a podcast with thousands of people downloading it. I got, I got a big thing that I'm really wanting to share and I'm, and I'm scared, is write this story out. As if you don't need to tell it to anybody. So [00:53:00] just write out what that, what that story is, what that thing is that is preventing you from getting what you want.

So you're not getting what you want in finances and business because you're too busy worrying about what people think, for example. And that is paralyzing you. So when you get ready to ask for the business, you can't 'cause you're worried about rejection. Maybe that's your thing. What is it about your story that, that, that's bringing that up?

And then write that story up that you would then go tell a client to share where that, where that's coming from, and be honest with them. I wanna ask you for business, but I'm worried you're gonna reject me. Maybe that's the example. And then go tell that to your dog or somebody that will, you know, sit there and be your friend no matter what.

Go tell it to a stranger where there's no, where there's no judgment. Just go tell the story. Don't worry about the structure of it. Don't worry about chapters 6, 7, 8. Just get into the habit of building the muscle of saying things that you haven't [00:54:00] been saying that you know you need to be saying to someone or something where it's not gonna respond with that judgment that you're scared of.

Just so you can start the process. Okay.

It's a little scary guys. I know. I know. It is, is a little scary 'cause there are things that none of us want to share. Yeah. That make us all uncomfortable. Can I add, can I add what? Like, what is that? So everybody's got it right? I talk about the, uh, the eight mile movie when, when Eminem comes up into the final rap battle, and this is a little bit of chapter 11, but what does the competition know that if they found out and they did a campaign about it, I'd be screwed.

Or what is that about the story that if somebody knew it would wreck the perception of who I am? What is, what is that thing that if my wife find out, she might leave me what, whatever that is, right? It's the dirty little secret that, that I talk about in the book. And what Eminem did and Eight Mile was, he stood up on stage and he knew [00:55:00] what they were gonna say about him, right?

In the rap battle. Yeah. Gotta go read the book. And what did, and what did he do? He goes, Hey, here's all my faults. And if you, and then he did his rap right? Uh, the way Eminem does. And then he, he put everything out there that they were gonna use against him. And that guy was speechless. He walked off the stage.

So think of it in that context, but don't go stand up and do a rap battle on stage. We, we might not be ready for that yet, but what is that thing? Every, every guy's got that thing, right? Like, what do we, what do we deal with? You know, are you, are you looking at parts of girls? You shouldn't be in places you shouldn't be.

Maybe you know, you hitting the, you hitting the jack bottle like I was, maybe what, whatever it is. Maybe it's just something little. I have this fear of taking action and I don't take action and it's, and, and it's sabotaging you. And then go grab, I'll grab my dog, Romeo, Hey Romeo. And he just say, ha ha, ha, ha.

Just, just build a muscle. Build the muscle. [00:56:00] Find other men. Find other people that you see doing it because the other people that are doing it understand it. And if you can go connect with them. Say, I see you doing this. Um, Tell me how you do this. Can I, can I do this with you? And will you just not judge me?

The, the, the people that get, get it. And once you get it and you unlock, it just opens up another world and you just get it once you get it. Guys, we talk about tribe here a lot. It's always saying find, find that tribe. Find those men who you can connect with. There's other people that you're connecting with that are your tribe, that are going to respect you.

They're gonna listen to you, they're gonna connect with you, they're going to commiserate with you, and they're gonna pick you up too. All right? It's, it's a powerful, powerful gift. And, and of course, you know, with that, I have to say there's link validation down below the show as well. You guys can check that out.

Our private area, uh, 'cause that's what we're all about there as well. Now, Matt, [00:57:00] What is next? Right. We know the podcast is coming up and by the time this airs, it's gonna be out. What's next for Matt Shout is, is going all in on Matt shop. This, this business for me has started and stopped and gotten sidetracked because of my personality style.

And as I sit up here and say this, like, be brave and take action, and don't worry what people think. Like I gotta take my own advice in a lot of scenarios. Mm-hmm. And I, and I never put myself in the business in the position where, where it must succeed. And I'm, I'm really finding greater purpose that's very God driven and God directed of, of helping build up men in business and what that looks like.

And it, and it's a calling. So that's, that's what's next. Okay. For me. Yeah. How, how would life have been different if you shared Painted Baby earlier in your life? Is this, is this the question that, that you were gonna ask me? That no one's ever asked me, right? Yeah. If it, if it would've [00:58:00] been earlier. So I started writing the book in 2015 and I didn't finish it.

I talked about it in the book and I'm glad that it didn't come out. The book came out later because it's a better book. But if I would've started sharing this story earlier, I feel like, say I shared it three years earlier and I come to today, I'd be 20 years ahead. I feel like for me, that that the exponential way I've been able to grow after I did that, it's not dollar for dollar, right?

If it was a year earlier, I'd be a year more ahead. The more vulnerable you can get, it's this, this huge growth curve. And initially I beat myself up because of it, but it just is what it is. And I'm, and I'm not gonna do that 'cause that's one of my things too. I'm hard on myself. So you just accept it for what it is.

So if you're sitting here, if a guest or somebody that's listening is, is sitting here and they're wondering. If they should do this, obviously read the book. Definitely read chapter 11 and, and the, and the painted baby [00:59:00] stories in there. And if you're struggling, just email matt@mattshout.com. Tell me what you're struggling with.

I get back to everybody if you don't feel like you have anybody that gets it. 'cause it's easy for Matt to say, right. Matt gets it. You get, everybody gets it. You now have somebody that that gets it, that you can contact and there's no excuse not to. And guys, we'll have of course all of Matt's links and Matt has some great free tools.

We'll have all those links in the show notes or in the description, whatever platform you're watching this on. How many times does the average person laugh a day? You said the answer was five, the answer is 13. No, I thought people don't laugh enough. You know, I was just thinking, it's like that's why I answered that.

I don't know if I'm average. I don't know that I laughed that many times a day. I gotta work on that. Interesting, interesting. So that's not what I thought it would be. Matt closes out with what is the most important thing you want people to hear today from this interview? That your story matters and that you matter.

And to the degree that you dig into your story and [01:00:00] understand it and understand how you can serve other people with it, that the richer and more beautiful your life will be. And, um, if you don't feel like there's anybody there that believes in you or appreciates you, or you don't think that's possible for you, know that, that I love you.

I believe in you, and you've got this now. Go get it guys. Be better tomorrow because of what you do today. We'll see you on the next one. This has been the Followable Man Podcast. Your home. Grab everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get your own Fallible man gear.

Matt ShoupProfile Photo

Matt Shoup

Serial Entrepreneur, Author, Keynote Speaker

In March of 2005, Matt was laid off from a corporate banking job that he absolutely hated. Matt quickly founded M & E Painting with the last $100 he had to his name, all while being close to $200,000 in personal debt.

M & E Painting grew quickly, and has produced over $30 million dollars in revenue since 2005. Matt and M & E Painting have received dozens of local, state, national and international business awards. M & E Painting was named one of the Unites States Top Small Workplaces by Inc Magazine and Winning Workplaces in 2011, one of Colorado's Top 250 Private Companies by Colorado Biz Magazine in 2010, made the INC 5000 List (#1724) of Fastest Growing Companies in the United States in 2010, and received the Northern Colorado Better Business Bureau Torch Award for Business Ethics in 2017.

Matt was named one Colorado Biz Magazine's Top Five Most Influential Young Professionals (2010), one of 40 Under 40 Top Business Leaders by the Northern Colorado Business Report (2013), and received the Colorado State University (CSU) Gold Award being named Alumni of the Last Decade (2012).

Matt has been featured in publications such as INC Magazine, Entrepreneur Magazine, BBC, Fox Small Business, Huffington Post, US News and World Report, and EO Overdrive

Matt has founded 6 successful companies and grown them all from the ground up. All of these companies are being run by extraordinary people! These companies are M & E Painting, M & E Roofing Solutions, RiRy, Makers of The Pirate Patch Drywall Repair Tool, Northern … Read More