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Your Emotions are NOT Simple | 4 Building Blocks of Every Emotion

Your Emotions are NOT Simple | 4 Building Blocks of Every Emotion

Would you be interested if I could break down emotions into a logical process? Hermione Granger accused Ron of having the emotional range of a teaspoon, (Yes, I am a harry potter nerd) men are often accused of being emotionally out of touch. What if ...


Would you be interested if I could break down emotions into a logical process? Hermione Granger accused Ron of having the emotional range of a teaspoon, (Yes, I am a harry potter nerd) men are often accused of being emotionally out of touch. What if I told you that likely you were never taught about your emotions in a man friendly way?  

On this Episode of The Fallible Man Podcast we’re going to do just that!

We know enough about emotions to be able to define them fairly well. We can talk about being 'happy' or 'sad' because we've understood these concepts since we were small. But truly understanding an emotion can seem complicated, especially when you're pushed to explain it.

There are Four Building Blocks of Every Emotion and on this episode you  will learn.

  1. What are the 4 Building Blocks of Every Emotion
  2. How to identify how they interact
  3. Which ones you can effect and which ones you can’t
  4. How this information will help you manage your emotional state

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Transcript
1 00:00:00,210 --> 00:00:03,780 Would you be interested if I could break down emotions into a logical process? 2 00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:08,310 Remind Granger accused Ron of having an emotional range of a teaspoon. 3 00:00:08,315 --> 00:00:08,640 Yes. 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,080 I'm I'm a Harry Potter nerd. 5 00:00:10,830 --> 00:00:13,830 Men are often accused of being emotionally out of touch. 6 00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:20,010 What if I told you that likely you were never taught about the emotions and about 7 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:22,560 your emotions in a man friendly way? 8 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,710 Well, on this episode of the Fallible Man Podcast, we're 9 00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:27,390 gonna do exactly that, so let's. 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,270 Here's the million dollar question. 11 00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:34,410 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men we 12 00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:38,550 dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 13 00:00:38,730 --> 00:00:43,230 being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? 14 00:00:44,099 --> 00:00:45,810 That's the question in this podcast. 15 00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:47,400 We'll help you with those answers. 16 00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:50,129 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 17 00:00:51,045 --> 00:00:52,425 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 18 00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:55,965 Your home for all things, man, husband, father, big shout out to Fallible Nation. 19 00:00:56,085 --> 00:00:56,475 Warm. 20 00:00:56,475 --> 00:00:58,065 Welcome to our first time listeners. 21 00:00:58,365 --> 00:01:00,504 My name is Brent and I am the fallible man. 22 00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:03,803 My daughters were taught about their emotions in preschool and of course 23 00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:06,676 as parents we tried to help them understand and, clear things up for 24 00:01:06,676 --> 00:01:07,606 them as they're dealing with it. 25 00:01:07,606 --> 00:01:09,981 They're young and those first emotions are a little hard to deal 26 00:01:09,981 --> 00:01:14,241 with sometimes, but it occurred to me that the way that little boys are 27 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,641 taught about emotions doesn't align. 28 00:01:17,346 --> 00:01:20,856 With the way their minds actually sort things out, just in the difference of the 29 00:01:20,856 --> 00:01:23,376 way that men and women think about things. 30 00:01:24,096 --> 00:01:27,426 Likewise, as men, we're told to show or share our emotions, 31 00:01:27,726 --> 00:01:28,836 to get in touch with them. 32 00:01:29,826 --> 00:01:31,506 Men need to understand things. 33 00:01:31,626 --> 00:01:34,536 If they're going to process them, show them, share them, right? 34 00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:36,726 It's the way our brains work, and that's okay. 35 00:01:36,726 --> 00:01:38,316 So that's what we're gonna do today. 36 00:01:38,316 --> 00:01:39,426 I'm gonna make it really easy. 37 00:01:40,026 --> 00:01:42,666 There are four building blocks of every emotion. 38 00:01:43,281 --> 00:01:46,761 We know enough about emotions to be able to define them fairly well. 39 00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:52,311 We can talk about being happy, or we can talk about being sad because we understood 40 00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:54,651 those concepts since we were little. 41 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:58,791 But truly understanding emotion, that could seem a little complicated, 42 00:01:58,796 --> 00:02:01,911 especially when you're really pushed to explain it because 43 00:02:02,451 --> 00:02:04,041 it's not all black and white. 44 00:02:04,761 --> 00:02:08,001 So we're gonna simplify this into a logical process. 45 00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:10,191 That really is factual. 46 00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:14,061 So guys, this is how it works and it's gonna be really easy for you afterwards. 47 00:02:14,871 --> 00:02:19,371 Every emotion is made up of four parts, so let's explore those parts one at a time. 48 00:02:20,031 --> 00:02:21,951 The first part is the stimulus. 49 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:27,381 For an emotion to happen, you need something which will inspire it. 50 00:02:28,341 --> 00:02:29,691 This can be anything at all. 51 00:02:29,751 --> 00:02:31,521 I mean, almost anything. 52 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:35,121 Generally, emotions come from outside sources, though they can arise from 53 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:37,011 your own thoughts and memories as well. 54 00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:42,486 You never know what might raise an emotion up to a surface level for you though. 55 00:02:42,846 --> 00:02:45,306 They're always there, but you don't know what's gonna bring it out. 56 00:02:45,726 --> 00:02:46,716 It could be a smell. 57 00:02:47,076 --> 00:02:50,346 In fact, the olfactory sense is actually one of the common things 58 00:02:50,346 --> 00:02:54,726 that causes memories and things to come up and triggers emotions. 59 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:59,886 It can be a taste, a memory, a person, a place, or even an activity you're taking 60 00:02:59,886 --> 00:03:01,806 part of that will inspire emotions. 61 00:03:02,406 --> 00:03:06,816 Even babies will be inspired to emotion through simple things like being hungry, 62 00:03:06,816 --> 00:03:10,916 uncomfortable, amused, or even by the smell or sound of whoever's taking care. 63 00:03:12,261 --> 00:03:16,551 This piece, the stimulus can be discovered, identified, and understood 64 00:03:16,641 --> 00:03:19,011 for perspective and context. 65 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,491 The second piece is your awareness. 66 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:26,721 A situation alone won't be enough to inspire emotion. 67 00:03:27,351 --> 00:03:31,131 At some point, your mind will become aware of the situation. 68 00:03:31,821 --> 00:03:34,161 This can be a conscious or even unconscious thing. 69 00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:38,781 We start paying attention and then, and this stimulus suddenly matters to us 70 00:03:38,931 --> 00:03:40,491 in a way that other things around us. 71 00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:45,516 We may not even understand what the stimulus is when we become aware of 72 00:03:45,521 --> 00:03:50,046 it, just that we're starting to have an emotional response to something. 73 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:54,816 Maybe you feel your skin heating up or your eye getting wider. 74 00:03:54,816 --> 00:03:57,336 Maybe you feel a chill something, right? 75 00:03:58,146 --> 00:04:00,666 This piece is outside of your control, your awareness. 76 00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:06,006 You have no control over how you become aware of this emotion or emotional 77 00:04:06,006 --> 00:04:07,776 response welling up inside of you. 78 00:04:08,766 --> 00:04:10,296 The third piece is the judgment. 79 00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:14,331 Are you okay with this stimulus? 80 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:18,681 Your unconscious self already knows your likes, your dislikes, your 81 00:04:18,686 --> 00:04:26,421 preferences, your history, your past experiences, and is already steering you 82 00:04:26,451 --> 00:04:30,831 towards either a positive or emotional are negative emotional response. 83 00:04:31,351 --> 00:04:37,311 However, Your conscious mind can intervene. 84 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:42,441 This, this piece can be adjusted, changed, or even manipulated, 85 00:04:42,621 --> 00:04:44,031 and it's within your control. 86 00:04:44,571 --> 00:04:47,601 Your conscious mind can intervene at this level. 87 00:04:48,561 --> 00:04:51,621 The fourth piece of an emotion is the reaction. 88 00:04:52,371 --> 00:04:56,511 Your physical self is already figuring out the situation and starting to respond. 89 00:04:57,291 --> 00:05:00,411 For example, you may not have noticed a little spider that 90 00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:01,371 just scuttled across your. 91 00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:06,006 Your eyes have probably widened significantly. 92 00:05:06,246 --> 00:05:07,806 You may have even felt a chill. 93 00:05:09,096 --> 00:05:10,236 You felt a little tickle. 94 00:05:10,986 --> 00:05:13,926 This is followed very closely by a physical reaction. 95 00:05:14,706 --> 00:05:18,936 In this case, pulling your hand away and possibly even like a verbal expression, 96 00:05:18,936 --> 00:05:22,146 like a scream or a shriek perhaps. 97 00:05:22,146 --> 00:05:27,306 If you're already afraid of spiders, this piece can be changed 98 00:05:27,366 --> 00:05:29,166 or adjusted and is within your. 99 00:05:31,236 --> 00:05:32,706 So what do we do with this information? 100 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,326 How well do you sleep at night? 101 00:05:34,416 --> 00:05:36,996 Do you toss and turn and wake up more tired than when you went to bed? 102 00:05:37,506 --> 00:05:40,176 Sleep is commonly one of the critical elements people 103 00:05:40,176 --> 00:05:41,496 fall short on in their life. 104 00:05:41,796 --> 00:05:44,646 The quality of sleep you get directly affects your ability to control 105 00:05:44,646 --> 00:05:48,066 your weight, your ability to add muscle, your stress levels, and your 106 00:05:48,066 --> 00:05:49,776 everyday job and life performance. 107 00:05:50,376 --> 00:05:52,446 If you're ready to move to the next level, then. 108 00:05:53,226 --> 00:05:54,306 Has to be part of the plan. 109 00:05:54,936 --> 00:05:58,116 Check out our forensic ghost bed.com if you're ready to get your best sleep. 110 00:05:58,206 --> 00:05:59,106 I love my ghost bed. 111 00:05:59,106 --> 00:06:01,806 I've been sleeping on one for a couple years and has made a 112 00:06:01,806 --> 00:06:03,426 huge difference in how I sleep. 113 00:06:03,756 --> 00:06:07,566 Hit ghost bed.com and use the code, the Fallible man 30 to get 30% 114 00:06:07,566 --> 00:06:10,806 off your order and start getting better night's sleep tomorrow. 115 00:06:11,796 --> 00:06:13,776 Now let's go on to the show. 116 00:06:13,986 --> 00:06:17,106 We have the building blocks are the process of emotion. 117 00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:21,636 You understand there are four essential pieces to every emotion. 118 00:06:21,636 --> 00:06:24,876 It doesn't matter if it's happiness, sadness, joy, love. 119 00:06:25,476 --> 00:06:29,796 Every emotion you feel involves this four pillar process. 120 00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:34,926 You can now dissect it and understand the whys and the 121 00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:38,286 hows and such of your emotions. 122 00:06:39,186 --> 00:06:42,996 This will give you the ability to process them better and more complet. 123 00:06:44,031 --> 00:06:48,741 Now that we know the way they work, we can also make adjustments if desired. 124 00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:53,631 If you want to change your feeling, start with these four building blocks. 125 00:06:54,651 --> 00:06:58,311 You'll always have a stimulus which is likely outside of your control, 126 00:06:58,701 --> 00:07:04,971 and your awareness of things is always within outside of your control. 127 00:07:06,141 --> 00:07:09,651 However, you can stop and identify the stimulus. 128 00:07:09,651 --> 00:07:11,451 You may not be able to change it. 129 00:07:12,186 --> 00:07:18,996 But you can contextualize it if you stop and identify what the stimulus 130 00:07:18,996 --> 00:07:26,346 is, what triggered this idea, why it has power to affect you. 131 00:07:26,796 --> 00:07:31,386 This will give you more information and context to adjust perspective 132 00:07:31,596 --> 00:07:35,196 and the way you handle things once you understand where it's coming 133 00:07:35,196 --> 00:07:37,716 from and what is the thought behind. 134 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:41,151 How you feel about that stimulus can be reshaped. 135 00:07:41,151 --> 00:07:42,651 Go back to the spider example. 136 00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:47,901 If you don't wanna be afraid of fi spiders, you might rehearse a different 137 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,791 reaction starting with a new judgment. 138 00:07:49,851 --> 00:07:53,091 Now, , I know that's hard. 139 00:07:53,151 --> 00:07:55,071 There's a reason we're using the spiders example. 140 00:07:55,521 --> 00:07:59,061 While your subconscious is already directing you one way, based on 141 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:02,991 the previous inputs and experience, your conscious mind can take 142 00:08:02,991 --> 00:08:06,021 control and overrule your subc. 143 00:08:06,771 --> 00:08:10,521 You tell yourself spiders aren't scary and try not to react when you see one, 144 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:17,571 eventually you won't feel the fear anymore, but it might move to discomfort 145 00:08:17,961 --> 00:08:21,171 because that's part of the process is we're downgrading our response. 146 00:08:21,171 --> 00:08:23,841 It this, I mean, let's face it, spiders are evil. 147 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:27,831 That's why I'm picking on spiders because spiders are just evil and the spot 148 00:08:27,831 --> 00:08:29,931 of Satan and horrible little things. 149 00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:35,091 You may actually be able to move from being scared to being 150 00:08:35,091 --> 00:08:39,711 uncomfortable, to being not even really dis noticing, just like totally 151 00:08:39,716 --> 00:08:41,751 disinterested in what just happened. 152 00:08:42,651 --> 00:08:48,381 Or you might even gain a curiosity when you see spiders because they're 153 00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:51,951 not a fearful thing anymore, because you've moved through this process 154 00:08:51,951 --> 00:08:55,221 and reshaped how you react to things. 155 00:08:56,091 --> 00:08:56,721 Now, this takes. 156 00:08:57,876 --> 00:09:02,256 But now you have a logical break breakdown of how all the emotions 157 00:09:02,496 --> 00:09:09,246 happen, and you can work on taking control of those emotions because 158 00:09:09,486 --> 00:09:10,746 you have a logical breakdown. 159 00:09:10,746 --> 00:09:14,646 And because since we understand the pieces now as men, that's how our head works. 160 00:09:14,916 --> 00:09:16,776 We dissect it, we understand the pieces. 161 00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:20,616 We understand what's in our control, what's not in our control, what's 162 00:09:20,616 --> 00:09:22,896 changeable, what's not, what caused it. 163 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,761 Now we can actually mess around with it and understand it and manipulate it 164 00:09:28,821 --> 00:09:32,721 and change it, whatever we need to do strangely, because you understand how 165 00:09:32,721 --> 00:09:39,171 they work and how to work within them, you are also gonna become more comfortable 166 00:09:39,171 --> 00:09:40,971 expressing them and even sharing them. 167 00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:43,071 S G I Joe used to tell us, right? 168 00:09:43,071 --> 00:09:45,981 Knowing is half the battle you are now equipped. 169 00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:49,881 Your brain can now process it and let our brain. 170 00:09:50,496 --> 00:09:55,566 Do that, which they're incredibly capable of doing, and use this knowledge well to 171 00:09:55,566 --> 00:10:00,546 affect how you deal with emotions, how you understand them, how you express them. 172 00:10:00,816 --> 00:10:03,396 This is gonna give you a lot of power, guys. 173 00:10:04,116 --> 00:10:09,606 Now I've been trying to do this every week, so thank you for the reviews, guys. 174 00:10:09,606 --> 00:10:12,966 Reviews keep coming in on my show and it means so much and it helps 175 00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:14,496 us get in front of more viewers. 176 00:10:14,916 --> 00:10:17,106 So thank you for all of you who are taking time to leave 177 00:10:17,106 --> 00:10:18,486 us reviews, and I like to read. 178 00:10:20,421 --> 00:10:23,631 Katie Brinkley said, this is not just for men. 179 00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:27,231 I enjoy listening to this podcast with my husband in the car on a recent road trip. 180 00:10:27,681 --> 00:10:30,891 Enjoy the insights and topics discussed and provides insights 181 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:32,571 for both husbands and wives. 182 00:10:33,201 --> 00:10:37,161 Katie, thank you for taking the time to share with us, for letting us 183 00:10:37,161 --> 00:10:38,751 know how you felt about the podcast. 184 00:10:38,811 --> 00:10:40,071 It means the world. 185 00:10:42,231 --> 00:10:44,900 That you're sharing these things with your husband and I'm glad that 186 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,010 you're benefiting front of it too. 187 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:50,120 I try and keep my show where anybody can take the base, core of it. 188 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:54,170 Some things are, most things are aimed at men, but that's because I 189 00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:56,190 wouldn't try and tell women what to do. 190 00:10:56,219 --> 00:10:59,009 I try and share with men how we can make ourselves better 191 00:10:59,009 --> 00:11:00,329 because that's the journey I'm on. 192 00:11:00,629 --> 00:11:01,409 So thank you for that. 193 00:11:01,414 --> 00:11:01,829 Katie. 194 00:11:02,159 --> 00:11:04,739 Guys, have you got something out of this and you're looking for someone 195 00:11:04,744 --> 00:11:08,789 to work with, to walk alongside with you as you start on your journey? 196 00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:14,249 Or if you're stuck point, check us out at www.fallibleman.com/coaching. 197 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:17,622 You can set up a discovery call with me there and we can talk about working 198 00:11:17,622 --> 00:11:21,672 together one-on-one directly so I can have you get past that sticking 199 00:11:21,672 --> 00:11:23,322 point and get you on your way. 200 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,442 Thanks for taking the time to enjoy the show. 201 00:11:26,832 --> 00:11:29,682 Be better tomorrow because of what you do today and we'll see you on the next one. 202 00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:32,712 This has been The Fallible Man Podcast. 203 00:11:33,342 --> 00:11:36,612 Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. 204 00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:39,792 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 205 00:11:40,632 --> 00:11:46,992 Head over to www.thefallowman.com for more content and get 206 00:11:46,992 --> 00:11:48,492 your own Fallible man gear.