”When I Became a Man, I put Away Childish Things” 7 Steps into Masculinity

[00:00:00] In a world where boyish mentalities clash with complexities of adulthood. One podcast episode dares to confront the struggles faced by men seeking growth and connection. Join host Brent Doman and he unveils the seven powerful ideas that can transform your relationships and ignite your life from silencing the voice of the little boy within to forging on breakable bonds with like li like-minded men.

[00:00:26] Prepare to embark on a journey of self-discovery and become the strong man you are destined to be. Welcome to a life charging changing episode of The Fallible Man Podcast. Won't, won't. Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential? Growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities.

[00:00:51] Working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question. In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more. My name is Brent and welcome to the Fbu Man Podcast

[00:01:08] on ambition. Welcome to the FBA Man Podcast, your home for all. Thanks, man, husband, and father, big shout out to FBO Nation and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Thanks for hanging out. My name is Brent. I am the fallible man, and I have always wanted to do that voice, so you'll have to tell me what you think about it.

[00:01:24] I just like, I was planning this episode and it was like, man, I really need to do this. Like, even put a note on my notes, be like in a deep, captivating voice, right? So maybe, maybe I missed the mark. I was just being silly guys. Uh, that's not how my show normally starts, but. I said, I don't know what it was about this episode title.

[00:01:42] I was just like, Ooh, I gotta do this. Guys. Welcome back to another powerful episode of the Fallible Man podcast. Today we're diving deep into the challenges men, many men face when it comes to relationships and personal growth. Are you tired of feeling like you're constantly coming up a a little short?

[00:02:00] As a man, husband, father, or leader, it's time to break free from some of the limitations of your boyish mentality. In this episode, I'll share with you seven transformative ideas that will help you change your relationship and take control of your life. So grab your headphones, find a quiet space, and get ready to unleash the strong man within.

[00:02:19] The first thing that we have to deal with is you have to recognize the little boy inside you. In a generation where male mentors are often absent, Whether you are in Gen X or the next generations after that. There have been so many crazy generation names at this point, but for a lot of reasons, men have been absent in the home for whatever reason.

[00:02:44] Some because men just weren't in the home, right? Maybe you were raised by a single mom. That's nothing about you. That's just how life worked out. Maybe your father was just absentee and wasn't connected. Maybe your dad. Wanted to be in your life as much as possible, but he was at work all the time to make a living.

[00:03:02] Okay? Many men find themselves stuck with needs and desires of their younger selves. Understanding the impact of this lack of guidance because there was just no one to walk with you in that crucial time, uh, is important in order to break free from the limitations it opposes on, imposes on your own relationships and personal growth.

[00:03:26] You know, if that's been your experience, then own it. It's, it's nothing bad about you. There's nothing, you didn't do anything wrong. There was just have been a lot of generations in the last four or five decades of young men who are just growing up without that constant positive male role model in their life, which leaves you with some boyhood needs left over that you may not have gotten.

[00:03:51] So the second thing is, To silence that little boy voice. Okay. Once you've identified that that little voice is still in your head every now and then, craving that approval, craving that attention, having some of those knees that just weren't met. Like I said, and sometimes it was nothing on the man in your life.

[00:04:09] He was just busy trying to make a living and it's been really hard to do as, as the only income for my family. I understand how difficult it is for single income families. You have to have a really great job and even if you have a really great job, a lot of times you have to have a lot of hours. So there are a lot of families where the father is just not around very often for one reason or another.

[00:04:36] Okay? It's time to take charge of your emotions and shut that little boy down. Successful long-term relationships require open communication without defensiveness. That comes from that inner child voice, and that's a lot of times where it comes from. So learn to express your feelings without needing to defend them and watch your relationships strengthen.

[00:04:56] One of my favorite lines from Game of Thrones, Jess, I enjoyed Game of Thrones, was when the Macer tells John Snow, John kill the boy and let the man be born. Gentleman is time to let go of those childhood boundaries and emotions and step into the men were meant to be. The third thing is to develop healthy boundaries without limitations.

[00:05:21] You risk compromising who you are and becoming bitter and an uncooperative man. It's essential to establish healthy boundaries and to understand what you're willing to compromise on and, and what is absolutely non-negotiable in all the areas of your life. People often have a negative comment, connotation of boundaries.

[00:05:41] I don't know what it is about the way we are in the United States. Maybe it's just here. Tell me if you're listening from outside of the United States, I, I'd love to have your opinion on this. Do you run into the same thing where you're at, but we tend to have this negative idea of boundaries. I don't know.

[00:05:56] We see 'em as limits, but boundaries aren't negative. They're empowering. Putting healthy boundaries in place actually is incredibly empowering. The fourth thing we wanna address is you need to be a built pillar of support. Okay? If you are going to be involved in a romantic relationship, the woman you love needs to feel.

[00:06:19] You'll be there for her regardless of her emotions, our behavior, because let's face it, chicks be a little bit crazy sometimes. Really in touch with that whole emotional thing. Offer her the freedom to be yourself and provide unwavering support. Okay? Resist the temptation to run away or to get defensive stuff.

[00:06:38] That little child back away. And I'm not saying like, stuff it down, don't deal with it. I'm telling you the opposite. You need to deal with it. Don't get defensive or make the issue about you. Let her be the little bit crazy She is. Cuz we're made a little bit different from women, actually. We're made a lot different from the women, which is what makes it all so fun.

[00:06:58] But be the pillar of sport in that relationship that's needed. Number five, learn to let go of pointless arguments. Often arguments arise from the need to be right. We like to be right. We all like to be right. I'm, I'm just as guilty. Okay? Everybody likes being right, but most of the time it's not worth fighting over.

[00:07:24] Learn to assess the situation and recognize when engaging in pointless debate only leads to further contract conflict, right? This is a really, like, I have two daughters. Okay? This is a kid thing if I've ever seen it. Kids will argue till they're blue in the face and screaming and fighting and pulling hair just over the point of being.

[00:07:46] Right. I actually had to, uh, chastise my oldest daughter just a little bit the other day. It's like, why are you arguing with your eight year old sister? Because she's wrong. That's fine. But is it really that important? Right. She's eight. Of course she's wrong, but. It, it doesn't make you more right to argue with her just because she's wrong.

[00:08:14] I know you're right in this argument, but it's, it's really just not worth all this fuss, which is a big concept for 11 year old. So I'm sure we'll go through that several more times. But let go of the need to win arguments that have no real value if it's not going to effectively make your life better to win that argument.

[00:08:32] It's not worth the fight, guys. It's just not worth the argument. Pick and choose your battles. You'll experience a positive shift in all your relationships when you let go of need to win just to win. The sixth thing we wanna cover real quick is the master is you need to master the art of listening.

[00:08:49] Listening is a skill like it takes active practice. Listening is a skill that benefits not only your intimate relationships, but all the relationships in all the other areas of your life. Kids are notorious, right? I mean, if you are a parent, you know, kids continue out. Like Magic Master the art of listening, whether it's in business or friendships or competitions.

[00:09:15] Being a great listener allows you to understand others deeply and foster strong connections and navigate tough challenges. So stop tuning people out. That's that inner child coming out. Stop tuning people out. Stop needing to be right. And argue pointless arguments. And listen, people will tell you everything you need to know if you just listen to them.

[00:09:39] Relationships will tell you how they need to be treated. Companies will tell you what they expect of you. Business partners will tell you everything you need to know about their personality. Learn to listen. It's one of the most powerful tools you'll ever hone. And the last one I want to cover today is I want you to forge bonds with likeminded men.

[00:09:58] And it's not that I want you to. Okay. I know how that sounds. Sometimes I, I can't hear it myself as like, no, it's not an I want you to, you need to, okay. While a loving relationship with your partner is crucial, and it's great, it's equally important to have supportive connections with other men. Seek out trusted relationships with men who challenge you, will hold you accountable and expect honesty.

[00:10:26] Surround yourself with these kind of incredible men. It's one of the reasons we built Fallible Nation, our private community site is so men have a place to connect and bond with other men who will hold them accountable, who will talk side hustles, who will talk personal growth, who will talk relationships, real connection, real com camaraderie, because I built it, guys.

[00:10:51] Cause I need that place too, just like you do. I need that place. To have that circle of amen, and you may have one around you or you may not, but that's why I built Fallible Nation is to give people that place. These connections will be instrumental in your personal growth journey and leveling up as a man.

[00:11:11] Now by implementing these seven transformative ideas into your daily life, you can experience a profound shift in your personal pursuits and relationships become the kind of man you look up to, the kind of man who serves as an example to those around you. Take control of the life's of your life's direction and refuse to settle for default mode.

[00:11:30] We just talked about this the other day. Get off autopilot. The choice is yours. Will you dare to embrace change and unleash the strong man within? Guys, thanks for joining me on this empowering episode of the Fallible Mountain Podcast. Uh, I, I am deeply grateful for all of you who take time to listen to our show and join us.

[00:11:53] Remember, you have the power to transform your relationship and your life. Stay tuned in for more thought-provoking episodes, and until next time, you better tomorrow because of what you do today. And we'll see you on the next one. This has been the Fellow Man Podcast. Your home for everything, man, husband, and father.

[00:12:13] Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content. And get your own Ible man here waiting and.