This SIMPLE Relationship Communication TRICK Changed Everything for me

[00:00:00] Have you ever found yourself in a heated argument with your partner only to realize that you're speaking a completely different language? Well, you're not alone. In fact, men and women are often in communication in very different ways, and this can lead to misunderstandings, her feelings and even breakups.

[00:00:18] But if you're not, because in today's episode we're gonna be diving back into the topic of improving your relationship by understanding the differences in the way men and women communicate. So whether you're in a long-term relationship or just starting out, tune in and discover the secrets of successful communication and start building a stronger, more fulfilling relationship today.

[00:00:41] Won't. Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potentials? Grow to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

[00:01:03] My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast.

[00:01:10] They say the secret to great comedy is timing. Now, if you don't know me, then let me say I'm not funny. So why is that relevant? Well, because one of the secrets to great relationship, communication is also timing. As men, we have a habit to analyze, whereas women are often more focused on the sympathize aspect in their communication.

[00:01:39] This can put us into a nasty cycle that you may have encountered before in your life. I mean, tell me, does this sound familiar to you? Oh, uh, we can fix that if we. Followed by sh her storming off, yelling. Something about you never listening. I, I've been there. I know. By the way, welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, where we talk about all things, man, husband, and father.

[00:02:06] If this is your first time with us, then welcome to the show, and if you're a regular member of Fallible Nation, welcome home. Thanks for being here, guys. My name is Brent and I am the fallible man Now. We have to break out of the analyze category and step into the sympathize zone. Now, this is already difficult for a lot of men, myself included.

[00:02:27] However, it can really be heavily influenced by timing and learning to mitigate that timing issue can prevent major blowups in your communication with your spouse. Now we need to talk about communication times. The simple version is they matter, so. Before we dive into that rabbit hole, I need you to rate yourself on a one to 10 scale of how much do you truly want to communicate better with your partner.

[00:02:58] Now, be honest. See, this is a moment of self-reflection. Be honest. Rate yourself on a one to 10 with one being who cares, and 10 being yes, on how much do you truly want to communicate better with your partner. Now I ask because if you honestly rate yourself at less than a four, then you may having be having deeper problems than just crossing the gender communication barrier, because there definitely exists a gender communication barrier that we don't often talk about, and that's what we're dealing with right now in this episode.

[00:03:32] If you rate yourself above that, then this could really help take that communication up to a whole nother level. The next thing we need to do is take sock of two really important time periods in your life, right? In your day-to-day life, what are you most likely to be tasked or goal, goal-oriented? Write down three times.

[00:03:57] Okay, so pause the show, grab a notebook. If you're driving, you're gonna have to come back to this, but write down the three times that you are most likely to be task or goal oriented. For example, this could be the first hour of your day or first thing when you get home. This could be while you're doing bills or answering emails, right?

[00:04:18] But write down those three things. When are you most likely to be task or goal? Goal oriented? Okay. Now you got that. Number two, when is she most likely to be rapport conversation oriented. If you're not familiar with that term, that's connection, talk, emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas, when she just really wants to talk about how it feels at a deeper emotional level.

[00:04:45] Write down three times. Now, if you are in a long-term committed relationship, you know exactly when these three times are. I could just rattle off my wife's three pop times right now off the top of my head without even thinking about it. We've been married. We just celebrated our 22nd anniversary. I know when my wife likes to have these conversations.

[00:05:06] If your relationship is like most. At least one of those times is probably at one of the most inconvenient possible times for your schedule. That's just how it tends to work. Now you've identified the three times you're most likely be task or goal, goal oriented. If I can talk straight and when she's most likely to want to have these rapport kind of conversations.

[00:05:30] Now identify the three biggest stumbling blocks to you being present in the moment in a conversation with her. Maybe it's during the big game. If you're a sports fan, maybe it's when you're taking phone calls or checking emails. Maybe it's during that decompression time because you need some time when you get home to decompress before you engage.

[00:05:52] Guess what? Women have those time periods too. Uh, I know that can actually be a big, big point of contention for some couples is women need that decompression time too. You both do. So what are the three biggest stumbling blocks to you being present in the moment with the conversation with her? We're making the list, so I promise it's going on somewhere.

[00:06:15] Once you've identified those three things. Okay. Those two. Two incredibly important time periods and that list of stumbling blocks, what you have is you have the raw data to work with. Okay. You've identified the biggest danger zones. When you're most likely to have a clash in your communication with your spouse, now identify the times that you are best for having this kind of rapport building conversation with her and clue her in about it.

[00:06:45] Analyze your patterns and when. When are you most likely to have that conversation to be?

[00:06:53] Unburdened with other things and to actually be open to having a deeper, more emotional based thoughts, feelings, ideas, conversation. What are those times you've identified? The danger zones you identify these times when you start to clue her in now, become intentional about making those times available with her.

[00:07:17] And even go out of your way to start those kind of conversations cuz you know she wants to have them. But go out of your way to start those kind of conversations during those more ideal time periods for you. Now, word of caution, okay? You are both busy. You have to consider her best times as well. You already know them.

[00:07:38] So it may mean making some, because you identified right her three times, you know when those are for her. So that may mean making some changes to your schedule to mirror those times for her more efficiently, as well as cleaning her into the better times in your schedule as well. Everything in marriage are in a committed relationship is about compromise and intention.

[00:08:01] It can also be really beneficial to sit down with her and identify with her sometimes from this kind of conversation is just a, a dead ground for you, like just no go. The best way to have that conversation is going to be with alternative times that you are glad to engage in those conversations with her that don't deeply conflict with her schedule, right?

[00:08:26] If you know she needs some time decompress, don't make one of those good times for you. The bad time for her. That's dumb. She'll be a lot more likely to be open to compromising and flexing her times a little more when she sees that you're willing to provide her with the times that she needs to make those connections.

[00:08:44] Remember, she really deeply wants to connect with you at that level and so if you are providing her when times when you absolutely wanna engage in that with her. It's gonna give both you a lot more time to have those conversations, which will nurture her and you, and prevent you from having those conflict conversations when times are less optimal.

[00:09:08] Now, if you're wanting to connect deeper with anyone in your life, whether it's a spouse, a child, or your coworkers, And could you use some help? Head over to www.thefallibleman.com and schedule over your free discovery call. One of my specialties is relationships, and I specialize in just deep connections with anybody, not necessarily with your spouse even, but I help Ben understand how to connect more deeply with anybody.

[00:09:32] We've talked about in the past the difference between rapport talk and report talk. And I'm gonna put a link for that episode right up here in the show notes are if you're on the screen, on YouTube over here, because these two talks really compliment each other in a big way. So there'll be an episode for season three, episode 47.

[00:09:55] Your marriage will never be the same once you master this communication secret because if you haven't gotten that one and this one helped you, you definitely wanna check that one out. As always, be better tomorrow because what you do today and we'll see you on the next one. This has been the Fallible Man Podcast.

[00:10:12] Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefollowman.com for more content and get your own Fallible Man gear waiting and.