Sculpting Time: Shaping Your Life in the Seasons You’re Given

[00:00:00] From the moment we enter this life, we're in the flow of it. We measure it. We mark it. But we cannot defy it. We cannot even speed it up or slow it down. Or can we? Have we not each experienced the sensation that a beautiful moment seemed to pass too quickly and wish that we could make it linger? Or felt time slow on a dull day and wish that we could speed things up a bit?

Here's a quote from the illusionist Edward Norton played a character, a character called Eisenheim, the illusionist in the 2006 film. But it really brought some thoughts to mind for me. Time is an interesting paradox. We never seem to have enough of it. We all wish for more. You can't buy more, but we waste it more than we waste more of it than almost anything else in our lives.

We also tend to struggle with letting it go. In this episode of the Fallible Man podcast. We're going to discuss seasons and time, what it means for you and how [00:01:00] to capitalize on it. So let's get into it.

When my wife was pregnant with our second child, I realized that my wife would soon have a newborn to take care of and a one and a half year old, I don't know if that's a still like considered a toddler or an infant or what that official title is, to try and contend with simultaneously to the newborn.

And so I realized she'd be spending a lot of time probably in our living room with the two of them. So I built my daughter's a castle slash playhouse [00:02:00] in our living room, a place where Abby could play safely. My that's my oldest wall. Sarah was tending to the little one. My children have grown up for the last 10 years, having a giant play toy in the living room.

As long as the youngest one's been alive and most of the oldest one's life as well. It's served other children as well over the years. Friends and relatives have come and gone. All the kids love coming over to the house because we have this giant play toy in the middle of the living room. It has become our dog's favorite perch.

Because it's a two story play thing. And it lets her sit right at face level with everyone when she's up on that second level. So she gets lots of attention because it's right in the main walkway of my living room, dining room, kitchen area. But we'll come back to all that.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. Your home for all things man. A big shout out to Fallible Nation, that's a private community and there's more about that down in the description. And a warm welcome to our first time [00:03:00] listeners. Hey, You know what? There's a lot biting for your attention.

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Moving forward with the show, I've never met anyone who felt like they had enough time for everything they wanted to do. It's the most valuable commodity in existence. So much so that people with larger financial resources actually spend a lot of money to have more time. Because while they can't buy it, they spend money on employees and outsourcing tasks that they can outsource to other people in an effort to give them more time in their schedule.

It's something you can't buy more of, but maybe you can give yourself some space by outsourcing tasks if you have the income for that. You can make more money. You can acquire more resources. You can get more stuff. [00:04:00] We all have lots of stuff these days, but your time is finite. Yet it's the most wasted asset in existence.

Think how many days or how many hours, days actually might be accurate. Think how many hours a day the average person. Waste. Now, let me define waste before you argue with me on this one. Anything that's not nurturing or providing for your actual fundamental needs, building towards your goals, or caring for the important relationships in your life, is wasting time.

Now that leaves a lot of leeway. I can already hear people freaking about their leisure time. Look, some leisure time, some, is self care. Every now and then you need to sit down and tune out with a book that's not educational or a television show. Okay. I love Netflix too. I just try not to love it very often or very long, [00:05:00] but I understand you need some downtime.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying you can't have that. That is part of nurturing fundamental needs. You do need to have some time downtime every now and then. Now I say every now and then, because you don't need near as much as most people think they should have. And most people way overdo that.

But part of the problem is we want everything. Now, the problem with that is you can't have everything now, but because we want everything now, we feel a rush to get everything done and to have everything to do everything. And we feel overwhelmed because we're in a rush because we're trying to do it all.

Now, regardless of your personal feelings about the Bible, there is a biblical scripture that shines a light on this for us that I'd like to share with you. In Ecclesiastes 3, 1 through 8, we read, There's a time for everything, a season for every activity under the heavens, a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant [00:06:00] and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build.

A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them up. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to search and a time to give up. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear, tear, and a time to mend. A time to be silent and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. Now, there's a lot of wisdom behind this package, whether you personally agree with the Bible or not. The wisdom behind this passage is that there's A time, and more importantly, a season for everything. Likewise, your life goes through seasons.

Seasons of growth, seasons of change, seasons of building, seasons of flourish, and seasons of [00:07:00] struggle. Sometimes it's easy to see what kind of season you are in. Other times you feel really lost and you have no idea what's happening, and it's hard to tell what kind of season it is. Tip, this is usually a season of growth or change when you're feeling that way.

Tapping into what kind of season you were in will actually help you direct your time. If you know what kind of season you're in, it will help you find a better direction for that time. If you know you're in a season of flourish, then you can capitalize on that season because it will only last so long.

Let me be clear about that. It will only last so long because things move in seasons.

If you're in a season of flourish, maybe you spend some time laying by in store, putting things back, right? Save some money, get some stuff done that you need to do that you don't normally have the money for. Things that need taking care of that you put off, right? When you have the means and the [00:08:00] time. So you can capitalize on that season because it will only last so long.

If you're in a season of struggle, then it gives you a direction of what to focus on with your time. Because of what you need to do to leave that season because nobody wants to spend time in that season. You're going to go through a lot of seasons in your life. How you spend your time is the most important decision you're going to make.

If you recognize what season you're in, you'll be better informed on how you need to spend that time. We also see that everything is for a season. It's not going to last forever, okay? You're going to go through a lot of seasons in your life. I know it feels like some of them will never end. But life flows in interesting waves.

If you actually take the 40, 000 foot view, so to say, and look back at your life, right? Take a few minutes and really take stock and you'll see that your life moves in waves. It [00:09:00] ebbs and flows. You're up, you're down. It lulls for a little bit. You're up. You're down. It's crazy, right? Seriously, pause the show and take stock of the last 20 years.

If you've been alive that long, if you're not that old yet. Okay, that's going to be a little harder, but if you're 20, 30, 40, look back and you're going to see that there are these waves or seasons in your life. Because of this, there will be times to have to let some things, old things go to make way for new things.

Holding onto things from past seasons can actually prevent us from moving on to the next season. Sometimes in those seasons of change, we have to Make room in our life so we can move into that next season. It's not always easy to let go of things from previous seasons, but it is necessary. Now I was telling you the story when I started, [00:10:00] so let me get back to that story.

So I built this castle to provide the needs of my wife and my children. That was 10 years ago and it's been a huge blessing to have in our lives. Dads, if you want to do something really cool and you have the building skills, seriously, It honestly was the best use of that space in my living room for the last decade.

Uh, my kids have so many great memories on that thing. It's incredible. I have tons of pictures of them and their friends and, uh, my friends, kids, friends like to come over and play on it. Like it was, it was a great choice. Okay, so if you wanna be a super awesome dad, you might consider putting a giant castle in your living room.

Your wife may not agree with the interior decorating on that, but she will concede that it's a great thing to do. I'm sure. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see, my wife looked at me 'cause I told her I was gonna do it and said no. I'm not going to let you be a super [00:11:00] awesome dad and build your kids a play toy in the living room..

What am I supposed to say to that? Like, I can't even So, you know, I, I kind of won that one. But, you know what, it benefited all of us for a very long time. And, it's usefulness has diminished with time because my kids are now at an age where, like, they have to get on their knees to be in the lower level of it.

So much so, the lower levels become kind of a toy box, where they throw everything that I tell them to pick up. And they can't actually ever get in there. And the upper deck is the only thing that ever really gets used. And every now and then my daughter sits up there with my dog and reads a book or something.

So I took it down last weekend while my children were with my wife visiting her family. I built it while they were there. I thought it was poetic that I tore it down while they were there. We've been telling them that we're going to take down for almost two years and they freak out every single time.

And I knew if I told them they would freak out and it would ruin their [00:12:00] weekend with the family. So I didn't want to do that. They're not pleased about it. They weren't pleased when they came home and still a little more than unhappy with me about it. It took a little for them to it's it's too little for them now.

To play on that much, but they have so many memories tied up in it. They don't want to let it go. That's why they've been fighting for us for about two years on it. We have other more pressing needs for that large space because it's not small. And it's a really large space to spend on an oversized dog bed.

Things that will serve them better in this next season of their life can go there. The change is unwanted and it's hard to process for them. Like a lot of us, they fear change. They'll probably be mad for a little while more until they see the benefits firsthand, and it might take a while [00:13:00] even to that point.

They want to hold on to what's comfortable, familiar, and warm because they don't know what will come in the next season, even though they don't process it like that yet. Neither do you. You don't know what's coming in the next season. I don't know what's coming in the next season. This season of my life has been a little crazy and chaotic, and it's not always been easy.

So, you know, we're all somewhere in those ebbs and flows. But if you embrace the seasons of your life for what they are, you'll suffer less stress and regrets about how you spend your time because you'll know how to spend that time effectively to make your life better and to move into that next season.

Guys, I hope that helps. I hope you'll really consider some of those thoughts. Um, I'm sharing them with you because I know their thoughts that are on my mind. So I'm guessing that I'm not the only one going through some interesting seasons in their life. Focus on how to [00:14:00] spend your time because you only have so much of it based on where you are in your seasons of your life.

Are you in a building season? Are you in a change season? Are you in a flourishing season where you should maybe put something back for the harder times? Are you in a struggle season? There are a lot of seasons in life. Remember, keep the people you love close to you through all of them, and they'll be easier, and utilize your time based on where you're at.

Be better tomorrow because of what you do today. We'll see you on the next one.

This has been the Fallible Man Podcast. Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get your own Fallible man gear.