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Overcoming Fear & Embracing Change: Coach Ryan Zofey’s on Personal Development

After growing up in a disempowering environment, Ryan Zofey, a 7th grade dropout, learns to transform his perspective and rise above his fears by leaning into self-love and appreciation of his past struggles, ultimately discovering the power of vulne...

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After growing up in a disempowering environment, Ryan Zofey, a 7th grade dropout, learns to transform his perspective and rise above his fears by leaning into self-love and appreciation of his past struggles, ultimately discovering the power of vulnerability in relationships.

"Where you resist, persist. It's like where you're feeling a block that means there's an opportunity to grow. And it goes back to the core limiting belief that most humans have is wanting to be loved or wanted to be accepted."

Ryan Zofey is a personal development coach and the founder of We Level Up, a business that works with people dealing with addictions and recovery. He is passionate about helping people identify and move past the obstacles that prevent them from embracing growth and change.

Ryan Zofey had grown up in a difficult home and was used to feeling like a victim. He had learned to take a step back and look at the difficult times in his life as a gift, and as a result, developed a deep sense of gratitude for all that he had. When faced with a new challenge of starting a relationship, he leaned into his fear and was able to find the courage within himself to move forward. Despite the difficulty of facing his limiting beliefs, he was able to find the strength to express himself, open up and connect to his partner. Ryan had learned to measure his results and change his activities, to fill up his cup first before meeting the needs of those around him. With this newfound understanding, Ryan was able to overcome his obstacles and found positive change.

 

In this episode, you will learn the following:

  1. Exploring the power of gratitude and grace to find joy in life.
  2. Understanding the importance of expressing oneself and communicating with others to make positive changes.
  3. Examining the three dimensions of a relationship - all about me, equal, and your needs/my needs - to develop meaningful connections.

 

Guest Links:

Website: https://welevelup.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryan.zofay/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theryanzofay

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryanzofay

 

Other episodes you'll enjoy:

How to Overcome Your Subconscious Fears and Blocks with Hypnotherapy with Kate Semeniuk

Dr. Victor Manzo (The Mindset Coach) - How to Change YOUR Life in 3 Simple Steps!

The Power of Consistency: Learning to be more Consistent with Kevin Palmieri

 

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Transcript

1 00:00:00,210 --> 00:00:03,480 What is the biggest takeaway you want our audience to hear today from you? 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,620 I would say the biggest takeaway is, is really just lean in 3 00:00:07,620 --> 00:00:08,760 and start to love yourself. 4 00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:10,950 You know, love all those parts of yourself. 5 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:15,750 Understanding that, you know, it's, you know, we're, we're, you know, for 6 00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:17,250 me, I'm my own worst critic, right? 7 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:20,880 And, and I, and I know so many people that, that think that they should be 8 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,610 somewhere else in life or think that they shouldn't have been dealt with 9 00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:24,630 the hand that they've been dealt. 10 00:00:25,305 --> 00:00:27,975 And, and just to shift that perspective and, and to start looking 11 00:00:27,975 --> 00:00:30,735 at it as a gift and, and you'll start to find the gift, right? 12 00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:33,345 The mind is a problem solving mechanism. 13 00:00:33,345 --> 00:00:36,825 So the mind is designed to answer questions that you ask it. 14 00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:39,795 So if you ask it a shitty question, you're gonna get a shitty answer. 15 00:00:40,615 --> 00:00:42,675 . And so if you ask yourself, why is my life so shitty? 16 00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:43,965 You're gonna find a shitty answer. 17 00:00:44,175 --> 00:00:46,545 But if you ask yourself like, why was this a gift? 18 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:48,525 Why was this such a beautiful opportunity? 19 00:00:48,855 --> 00:00:50,505 You're gonna find the grace and the love in that. 20 00:00:50,865 --> 00:00:54,555 And so my, my wish for you is, is just to start loving yourself. 21 00:00:55,995 --> 00:00:57,555 Here's the million dollar question. 22 00:00:58,095 --> 00:01:01,754 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men we 23 00:01:01,754 --> 00:01:05,895 dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 24 00:01:06,075 --> 00:01:08,445 being good husbands, fathers, and. 25 00:01:09,375 --> 00:01:10,575 Take care of ourselves. 26 00:01:11,445 --> 00:01:13,125 That's the question in this podcast. 27 00:01:13,455 --> 00:01:14,745 We'll help you with those answers. 28 00:01:14,745 --> 00:01:17,865 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 29 00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:21,135 Welcome to Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things, man, husband, and father. 30 00:01:21,405 --> 00:01:22,545 Big shout out to Fallible Nation. 31 00:01:22,545 --> 00:01:22,965 Warm. 32 00:01:22,965 --> 00:01:24,225 Welcome to our first time listeners. 33 00:01:24,525 --> 00:01:27,675 My name is Brent, and today my special guest is Personal 34 00:01:27,675 --> 00:01:29,355 Development coach Ryan Zhe. 35 00:01:29,595 --> 00:01:30,855 Ryan, welcome to the. 36 00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:33,255 Thank you so much for having me, man. 37 00:01:33,255 --> 00:01:34,395 I'm so honored to be here, 38 00:01:35,085 --> 00:01:35,325 man. 39 00:01:35,325 --> 00:01:35,685 I'm excited. 40 00:01:35,685 --> 00:01:38,025 I think we're gonna have a great conversation today, but before we 41 00:01:38,025 --> 00:01:41,595 get serious, I, I've started adding a question at the beginning of the show. 42 00:01:41,595 --> 00:01:46,305 So the question is, what is the length of New Zealand's 90 mile Beach? 43 00:01:46,365 --> 00:01:50,175 Is it a 90 miles B 77 miles? 44 00:01:50,655 --> 00:01:54,135 C 90 kilometers are D 55 45 00:01:54,135 --> 00:01:56,835 miles . I would say a 90 miles. 46 00:01:57,435 --> 00:01:58,065 90 miles. 47 00:01:58,065 --> 00:01:59,205 All right guys, now don't cheat. 48 00:01:59,205 --> 00:02:00,915 Don't go pause the show and look it up. 49 00:02:00,915 --> 00:02:02,565 So, you know, just wait for it. 50 00:02:02,565 --> 00:02:03,135 We'll get there. 51 00:02:03,945 --> 00:02:07,575 Now, Ryan, I don't read accolades and introduce my guests in a big way 52 00:02:07,575 --> 00:02:11,715 because I can tell them everything off your bio and stuff like that, but 53 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:14,895 that doesn't really tell them who you are, and I want them to understand 54 00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:16,755 who you are and what you're about. 55 00:02:16,995 --> 00:02:19,075 So, in your own words, who is Ryan? 56 00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:25,845 You know, I, um, that's a great question and, and what comes to me and, and the 57 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:30,435 reflection I have is, is first off, I'm, I'm just a, a grateful human being. 58 00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:35,535 I, um, You know, I, I grew up in a very challenging home and there was a time 59 00:02:35,535 --> 00:02:42,285 when, when my perspective of life was very, um, disempowering and I, and I, 60 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:46,215 and I was always coming from a place of, of being a victim, and I felt like the 61 00:02:46,215 --> 00:02:49,635 world owed me something because of all the, the, the challenges I went through. 62 00:02:49,755 --> 00:02:53,895 And, and what I realized is, is going through those difficult times, um, 63 00:02:53,895 --> 00:02:57,255 it's, it's taught me so much grace and it's, it's given me this, this 64 00:02:57,255 --> 00:02:59,505 new perspective and this newfound. 65 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:02,520 Joy in life. 66 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,130 And, and, and I know that the man I am today is because of 67 00:03:05,130 --> 00:03:06,359 all those challenging times. 68 00:03:06,359 --> 00:03:11,160 And, and gratitude is at the core of most decisions I make today. 69 00:03:11,165 --> 00:03:13,020 And I say most decisions because I'm not perfect. 70 00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:16,170 There's definitely times when, um, you know, ego creeps in, but for 71 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:19,050 the most part, I would say I, I come from a very grateful place. 72 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,550 I'm grateful to be alive. 73 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,140 I'm grateful to be here with you. 74 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,810 And so that's, that's what I would say in regards to 75 00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:25,050 that. 76 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:26,310 All right. 77 00:03:27,269 --> 00:03:31,410 Now, Ryan, what is one talent you have that some people might think is silly 78 00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:38,010 ? Um, I would say the ability to cry. 79 00:03:38,190 --> 00:03:39,660 When, when, when? 80 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,570 When my emotions allow it to . I, I, I don't even if the, is that, 81 00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:44,760 I don't think it's a talent man. 82 00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:46,560 Uh, that's a good question. 83 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:46,950 Talent. 84 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:47,640 Lemme think here. 85 00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:49,890 A talent that most people wouldn't know. 86 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:52,260 I guess. 87 00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:53,370 I guess I can dance. 88 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:53,700 Okay. 89 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,080 I guess I'm a decent dancer. 90 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,050 ? Yeah. 91 00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:56,490 Okay. 92 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:57,650 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 93 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,640 I can't dance, so to me that's a 94 00:04:00,870 --> 00:04:03,570 . Well, in my mind, I think I'm doing a good job, but I know if 95 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,720 Instagram post in my head like this reality, right? 96 00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:10,410 Yeah. 97 00:04:10,410 --> 00:04:10,850 Yeah, yeah, 98 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:11,170 yeah. 99 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,530 What's one random fact about you people? 100 00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:13,740 Dunno. 101 00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:20,820 One random fact about me that people don't know. 102 00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:28,320 Um, yeah, I mean, I random fact that people don't know about me. 103 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:32,010 I guess that, uh, God, these are good questions. 104 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:36,510 I don't, uh, random fact, uh, I guess maybe I'm a seventh grade dropout. 105 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,310 I don't know if that's something that people know. 106 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:38,730 Yeah. 107 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:39,780 What, that's fair. 108 00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:40,350 Right. 109 00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:40,830 Ok. 110 00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:44,190 This is just, uh, we wanna get to know who you are before we get into this. 111 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:45,240 Yeah. 112 00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:48,960 What's one purchase of a hundred dollars or less that's had the biggest 113 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,520 impact on your life in the last year? 114 00:04:54,359 --> 00:05:02,159 I would say, um, I, I would say the biggest purchase, a 115 00:05:02,159 --> 00:05:03,419 hundred or less for Jesus. 116 00:05:03,419 --> 00:05:03,990 These are great. 117 00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:08,580 Um, that's had the biggest impact on me. 118 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:09,520 Mm-hmm. 119 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,530 , I would say. 120 00:05:15,075 --> 00:05:17,715 I don't even know the last time I spent a hundred dollars at last. 121 00:05:18,705 --> 00:05:19,245 . Hold on man. 122 00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:19,785 I'm gonna get it. 123 00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:20,265 I promise. 124 00:05:20,475 --> 00:05:24,525 Uh, I, I would say, oh, I went to this, uh, show called Wicked. 125 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,345 It was a hundred bucks hundred. 126 00:05:28,485 --> 00:05:29,235 No, no, not Wicked. 127 00:05:29,235 --> 00:05:29,535 Sorry. 128 00:05:29,535 --> 00:05:32,175 It was a comedy show here in actually just the other night 129 00:05:32,355 --> 00:05:33,585 I went to the Comedy store. 130 00:05:33,585 --> 00:05:34,395 It was a hundred bucks. 131 00:05:34,395 --> 00:05:34,676 Yeah, yeah. 132 00:05:34,681 --> 00:05:36,795 That was the most impact I've had this year. 133 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:37,305 A hundred bucks. 134 00:05:37,935 --> 00:05:37,965 Oh, 135 00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:38,385 okay. 136 00:05:38,745 --> 00:05:41,265 I was thinking we were talking about the com, the Broadway production. 137 00:05:41,265 --> 00:05:41,625 Wicked. 138 00:05:41,805 --> 00:05:42,045 Yeah. 139 00:05:42,045 --> 00:05:45,284 But I realized it wasn't a hundred bucks . I, I had the two mixed 140 00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:47,715 up cause I just went to them recently, so I, I had 'em mixed up. 141 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:48,765 No, I went to the comedy store. 142 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,605 It was a hundred bucks. 143 00:05:50,055 --> 00:05:52,500 Did you like, Yeah, it was insane. 144 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,790 I, I was, I was very impressed. 145 00:05:53,790 --> 00:05:55,650 I, I, I didn't really know what I was getting into. 146 00:05:55,650 --> 00:05:57,420 I was like, I'm, am I really gonna like this stuff? 147 00:05:57,420 --> 00:06:03,120 But then once I, once I realized like how, how much practice and, and, and, 148 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,230 and how dedicated they were to, to performing and, and, and like, how 149 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:12,120 real it was, I was just like, whoa, this is, this is, I had much, much more 150 00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:13,530 found respect for what they were doing. 151 00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:13,890 So 152 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,280 my wife and I went to a couple years ago when it was passing 153 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:17,970 through the region and. 154 00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:20,250 It had it really good and just night out. 155 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,110 It's like, wow, man, they can sing. 156 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,030 It was wild. 157 00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:25,140 For sure, for sure. 158 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:26,190 Oh, she said it's amazing. 159 00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:26,430 Yeah. 160 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:27,720 . Yeah. 161 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:28,130 Yeah. 162 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:33,060 So what's one thing, what's, what's something everyone should know about 163 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,250 you before we dive into our topic today? 164 00:06:37,950 --> 00:06:43,410 I would say that I, I am, am, am a grateful human being and, and my intention 165 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,960 in every situation is to love uncondition. 166 00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:50,445 And, and to, and to remove any judgment from any situation 167 00:06:50,445 --> 00:06:51,765 or any decision that I make. 168 00:06:52,605 --> 00:06:52,935 Okay. 169 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,955 I was, I was going through, uh, some of your material before the show, you 170 00:06:56,955 --> 00:06:57,945 know, getting ready for everything. 171 00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:01,425 And you have a very Tony Robbins vibe going on in your presentations. 172 00:07:03,695 --> 00:07:07,275 , I was enjoying watching some clips from, uh, some of your presentations 173 00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:08,535 and workshops you've done. 174 00:07:08,675 --> 00:07:09,025 So 175 00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:10,265 thank you, man. 176 00:07:10,265 --> 00:07:14,025 So, Yeah, so I, I've been in proximity of Tony for the last four 177 00:07:14,025 --> 00:07:15,825 years, so that, that makes sense. 178 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:19,545 Um, I've done, I think I've done close to 30 seminars at this point, so I'm 179 00:07:19,545 --> 00:07:21,195 thinking close to like 2000 hours. 180 00:07:21,795 --> 00:07:22,745 In his presence. 181 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:27,555 So I feel like a lot of his, his approach has definitely rubbed off on me for sure. 182 00:07:28,845 --> 00:07:30,945 well, the, the influence shows, but it's not a bad thing. 183 00:07:31,575 --> 00:07:35,235 I mean, I was watching some of your videos on your social media accounts, and 184 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,375 we'll share all those guys in the links down below and the show notes that I was 185 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:43,575 watching some of your, uh, seminars, it's like, man, I, I recognize that vibe you. 186 00:07:44,585 --> 00:07:49,245 Got that power just like, yeah, got arah rah moment going on where people are 187 00:07:49,245 --> 00:07:50,835 just getting into it and you're flowing. 188 00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:52,215 You can see, you get so worked up. 189 00:07:52,215 --> 00:07:52,965 It's very cool. 190 00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:57,195 Yeah, man, I love the energy you bring into it guys. 191 00:07:57,195 --> 00:07:58,995 Yeah, thank you for that few minutes. 192 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,405 Just getting to know Ryan and uh, I want you to know who he is before we 193 00:08:03,409 --> 00:08:06,015 get into this and the next part of the show, we're gonna dive into some 194 00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:09,645 common things that are preventing people from growing into their best selves. 195 00:08:10,195 --> 00:08:12,655 And, uh, we'll keep rolling from there. 196 00:08:12,835 --> 00:08:14,995 Right now we're gonna roll to our first sponsor and we will be right 197 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,015 back with more from the Ryans. 198 00:08:16,015 --> 00:08:16,315 Okay? 199 00:08:18,025 --> 00:08:20,935 Now, before we go any further, I don't always share with you guys 200 00:08:21,055 --> 00:08:23,995 how much I love doing the podcast and how it's affected my life. 201 00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:26,965 Doing the podcast has increased my speaking ability. 202 00:08:26,969 --> 00:08:30,745 I get to meet all kinds of extreme people, is great for my business, 203 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:32,814 and I just really love it. 204 00:08:33,235 --> 00:08:36,475 And part of the reason I love it is I shove off some of the hard work on 205 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:37,705 my good friends over at Grow Your. 206 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,660 If you're interested in creating your own podcast, whether for a hobby 207 00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:47,520 or to explain your business, grow, your show is a podcast one stop. 208 00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:47,880 Okay? 209 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,460 I can literally hit record and just send 'em to them. 210 00:08:50,465 --> 00:08:52,230 I don't, that's not how I do my show. 211 00:08:52,410 --> 00:08:54,360 But if you don't wanna do the nitty gritty, that's fine. 212 00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:56,040 I like doing that stuff. 213 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:59,190 It's a one stop shop, and I love those guys. 214 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,540 They've helped my show so much. 215 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,710 So if you're interested in starting your own podcast or maybe expanding 216 00:09:04,715 --> 00:09:07,110 your business with a podcast, go see my friend Adam over it. 217 00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:07,470 Grow your. 218 00:09:08,204 --> 00:09:09,855 I promise you they will take care of. 219 00:09:11,714 --> 00:09:12,615 All right guys, welcome back. 220 00:09:12,615 --> 00:09:14,355 And in the first part of the show, we spent some time just 221 00:09:14,355 --> 00:09:16,125 getting to know who Ryan Soge is. 222 00:09:16,574 --> 00:09:18,765 And in this part of the show, we're gonna dive into some common things 223 00:09:18,765 --> 00:09:21,165 that are preventing people from growing into their best selves. 224 00:09:21,584 --> 00:09:26,355 Now, Ryan, you do both your seminars and personal development, but you also 225 00:09:26,385 --> 00:09:28,425 have a larger business with we level Up. 226 00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:32,625 Uh, that's an awesome work you're doing, by the way, Ryan works with 227 00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:36,135 recovering people and people dealing with addictions and stuff like. 228 00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,130 And that's, that's awesome. 229 00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:40,830 That's, let me just thank you for that, man. 230 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:41,010 Thank you. 231 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:41,880 Having, thank you. 232 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:47,070 A good place for people to go and sort out things that are messing up their 233 00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:49,530 lives is just awesome and powerful. 234 00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,240 So thank you for your work there. 235 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,050 But we're gonna lay into your personal development life here and your coaching. 236 00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:59,310 Uh, why do some people resist personal development? 237 00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:01,290 How can we encourage them to be more open? 238 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,420 Yeah, I mean, from, from my experiences is, you know, when you 239 00:10:06,425 --> 00:10:10,079 look introspectively, when you look inside, there's, there's things that 240 00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:11,490 you're seeing that you don't like. 241 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:16,110 And so a lot of times it's much easier just to like, avoid that or it seems to 242 00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:19,740 be easier because eventually it builds up and eventually it, it becomes a much 243 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:21,600 bigger situation than you want it to be. 244 00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:23,699 And, uh, it, it doesn't feel good. 245 00:10:23,699 --> 00:10:23,910 Right? 246 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,189 Like looking inside and seeing parts of you that you don't like or you don't. 247 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:31,800 It's difficult to, to address and, and it's, it's all fear-based, right? 248 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,890 It's like fear of not being loved or fear of not being accepted. 249 00:10:35,189 --> 00:10:38,370 And so that's, from my experience, what I've seen, it's very common 250 00:10:38,790 --> 00:10:42,540 is that is the core limiting belief that every human has walking on earth 251 00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:45,780 today is a fear of not being enough or fear of, of never being loved. 252 00:10:46,199 --> 00:10:50,910 And so that, that is the core driver on why I believe people avoid looking 253 00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:52,470 at that because it's, it's painful. 254 00:10:53,550 --> 00:10:53,939 I, I 255 00:10:53,939 --> 00:10:56,310 think you're definitely on the right track there. 256 00:10:56,310 --> 00:11:02,339 I mean, I did a show with, uh, daughter and father, and she started 257 00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:04,709 a business called Nuff, N U F F. 258 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:08,640 It's out of Australia, and it was, she went through some trauma and 259 00:11:08,645 --> 00:11:11,370 it was a conversation that happened between her and her dad, and 260 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:12,689 she was like, look, you're nuff. 261 00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:17,160 And so it's just become their message and it's super powerful. 262 00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:21,510 But it was addressing that with his DA daughter was, you're enough. 263 00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:22,890 Who you are is enough. 264 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:23,579 It's okay. 265 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:26,520 You don't have to be somebody else. 266 00:11:26,699 --> 00:11:28,319 Who you are is valuable. 267 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,790 And I think that is so profound. 268 00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:35,520 We all, we all wanna pretend that we don't have those insecurities, 269 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:37,219 Yeah. 270 00:11:37,819 --> 00:11:38,380 Right? 271 00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:39,140 Mm-hmm. 272 00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:40,699 . Hundred percent. 273 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:41,060 Hundred 274 00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:41,300 percent. 275 00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:44,535 What are some common obstacles that people face when they're trying to 276 00:11:44,535 --> 00:11:46,285 make positive change in their lives? 277 00:11:48,015 --> 00:11:50,085 For me, it's, it's really just getting started, right? 278 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:53,535 It's, it's, what I've seen is, is, you know, there's these unconscious 279 00:11:53,925 --> 00:11:58,695 behaviors and patterns that that happen in every single human being, and, and 280 00:11:58,695 --> 00:12:03,675 your unconscious mind is designed to keep you alive and to protect you. 281 00:12:03,915 --> 00:12:08,715 So anything that seems abnormal or seems uncomfortable, you're 282 00:12:08,715 --> 00:12:10,845 unconsciously unaware of this stuff. 283 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:14,445 And, and, and your mind is just keeping you still and keeping you in place and, 284 00:12:15,495 --> 00:12:17,625 It, it's, can you ask the question again? 285 00:12:17,985 --> 00:12:19,245 You can edit it, right? 286 00:12:19,245 --> 00:12:21,334 You're gonna, I dunno why I just, go ahead, 287 00:12:23,055 --> 00:12:24,094 . We'll, we'll just leave it. 288 00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:25,125 I don't even cut things anymore. 289 00:12:25,844 --> 00:12:29,985 What are some, some of the comical, see, I did to myself. 290 00:12:30,255 --> 00:12:33,074 What are some of the common obstacles that you see people facing when they're 291 00:12:33,214 --> 00:12:35,235 trying to make positive changes in their 292 00:12:35,235 --> 00:12:35,714 lives? 293 00:12:37,005 --> 00:12:37,245 Yeah. 294 00:12:37,245 --> 00:12:39,084 I would say the, the common obstacle. 295 00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:43,109 Would be just getting started, you know, starting on this new journey 296 00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:46,560 of, of, of personal growth and, and really looking introspectively at, at 297 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,089 what's going on or what's not working. 298 00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:51,689 You know, for me, you know, I, I never wanna admit when I'm doing something 299 00:12:51,694 --> 00:12:55,530 wrong or I never wanna admit there's a part of me that, that I don't like 300 00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:57,060 the face or I don't like to see. 301 00:12:57,359 --> 00:13:01,410 And so, I think just starting on this new path, this new journey 302 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:05,250 and, and just opening up and, and communicating what's going on inside 303 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,560 is, is typically a, a huge obstacle. 304 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:11,580 I mean, you know, there's this external world that's going on, right? 305 00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:12,930 Which is what we're experiencing. 306 00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:15,210 We're talking about consciously, and then there's like this internal 307 00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:17,850 world that's going on, which is the thoughts and the memories in our mind. 308 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:22,125 And so just getting that information out is, is challenging at times. 309 00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:23,145 Just like opening up. 310 00:13:23,145 --> 00:13:26,435 It's, it's such a powerful, powerful journey or powerful 311 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:29,685 process to just express yourself or to allow yourself to open up. 312 00:13:30,645 --> 00:13:30,944 Okay. 313 00:13:32,265 --> 00:13:38,204 How can our listeners right now start to identify some of the underlying 314 00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:42,285 beliefs and fears that are preventing them from embracing growth and change? 315 00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:48,930 So, I mean, for me it's, it's, it's really putting yourself in, in an environment 316 00:13:48,930 --> 00:13:51,000 where somebody can see these blind spots. 317 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,570 So for me, it's like I have coaches, I have therapists, I have people that 318 00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:58,200 can, can pinpoint these unconscious behaviors and say, Hey, Ryan, 319 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,730 this is a pattern that I'm seeing. 320 00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:03,870 And, and by them pointing it out to me, then I can start to see what's happening 321 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:08,550 and it gives me the ability to, to make changes or to progress in that area. 322 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,170 Ok. 323 00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:12,140 Now see, I, I wanna. 324 00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:14,609 Sit on that for just a second, guys. 325 00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:16,260 Understand. 326 00:14:16,349 --> 00:14:16,859 Okay. 327 00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:19,290 Coaches have coaches. 328 00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:20,699 None of us are perfect. 329 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,800 None of us have it all worked out. 330 00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:26,969 I, I have a business coach cuz business is not my strong point, right? 331 00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:32,160 And so I went to a business coach so I can learn because I don't know it as well. 332 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,780 And I know I'm making mistakes in mine. 333 00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:34,650 Right? 334 00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:36,990 And we have other mentors and coaches. 335 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:38,910 Ryan does too, right? 336 00:14:38,969 --> 00:14:39,990 It's okay. 337 00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:43,590 To work with somebody who can give you a different perspective. 338 00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:45,570 That doesn't make you weak. 339 00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:47,580 It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. 340 00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:52,200 It means you are human, like the rest of us, and, and that's okay to wanna walk 341 00:14:52,205 --> 00:14:54,660 with somebody to need that extra hand. 342 00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:58,500 Think of it as, you know, you, you don't have a problem going to a friend, right? 343 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:04,410 When you need that, you don't necessarily go, oh no, I can't turn to my friend 344 00:15:04,410 --> 00:15:09,030 when, when I need some advice or an idea or some help or, A different perspective. 345 00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:10,590 Coaching is the same way. 346 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,040 All of us need a hand at some point in our lives, and that's cool. 347 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:14,730 That's okay. 348 00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:17,850 So, sorry, I, I just gotta get off my high horse there. 349 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:21,570 But it's like, I, I've seen so many guys who are like, well, you 350 00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:22,620 know, I'm working with a coach. 351 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:25,470 Doesn't that kind, there's nothing wrong with it, man. 352 00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:27,030 It, it doesn't make you less of a man. 353 00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,020 It doesn't make you weak. 354 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:32,100 It just means that like the rest of us, you got some work to do. 355 00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:36,150 Um, so sorry that, that's just one of those things I've seen come up way 356 00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:37,800 too often that just freaks me out. 357 00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:38,640 Like, 358 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:39,540 no, I love it. 359 00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:40,740 I, I love it, dude. 360 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,920 And, and it speaks to the, the first statement of like, just getting started, 361 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,300 like just having that conversation. 362 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,910 Just the willingness to open up and to communicate with somebody. 363 00:15:48,449 --> 00:15:51,959 And, and eventually what, what starts to happen is, is you can, you know, 364 00:15:51,959 --> 00:15:53,459 it, it's all about proximity, right? 365 00:15:53,459 --> 00:15:55,839 Like you want to condense time, you want to. 366 00:15:56,579 --> 00:16:00,360 Travel down a road that somebody has already gone down so that you 367 00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:04,410 can skip out on the obstacles or the challenges or the gaps that 368 00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:05,910 they may have already experienced. 369 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:10,469 And, and 95% of what we do on a daily basis is unconscious behavior anyways, so 370 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,939 we're not even aware of what's going on. 371 00:16:12,150 --> 00:16:15,480 So it's so important to have somebody just giving that perspective and just saying, 372 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,370 Hey, take a look at that blind spot. 373 00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:18,569 Hey, take a look at that pattern. 374 00:16:18,569 --> 00:16:20,069 Hey, take a look at that behavior. 375 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,910 And it gives you the opportunity to make these decisions or make these changes. 376 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,600 And so to your point, yeah, man, I, I , I, I think I have like four 377 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,860 coaches at this point in my life. 378 00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:32,460 I, I have a business coach, I have an inner C coach that, that helps me 379 00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:33,960 deal with my, my childhood trauma. 380 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,200 When, when stuff gets triggered and stuff comes up, I have a fitness 381 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:40,770 and, and a health coach, and then I have, you know, a sponsor. 382 00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:41,550 I'm in recovery. 383 00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:43,020 So I guess I consider him a coach. 384 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:45,570 But yeah, see, 385 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,130 it's all good stuff, guys. 386 00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:50,925 That's, this is, Being real helping men. 387 00:16:51,615 --> 00:16:52,305 And that's cool. 388 00:16:52,395 --> 00:16:54,825 That's, that's what community, that's what brotherhood's about, right? 389 00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:59,625 We talked about finding your tribe all around here and finding that brotherhood 390 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,575 because we're stronger together. 391 00:17:02,025 --> 00:17:03,045 It, we just are. 392 00:17:03,705 --> 00:17:04,845 That's the way we're designed to work. 393 00:17:04,845 --> 00:17:09,615 So now Ryan, that's actually kind of segued nicely. 394 00:17:09,615 --> 00:17:15,015 I didn't even intend to segue like this, but, uh, people struggle with re. 395 00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:23,055 Because of negative feedback or criticism and, you know, how, how 396 00:17:23,055 --> 00:17:27,585 do we help people move past that and get to a point where they're 397 00:17:27,585 --> 00:17:33,015 not as, I don't know, uh, vulnerable 398 00:17:33,015 --> 00:17:35,865 to that, to, yeah. 399 00:17:35,935 --> 00:17:36,175 So like what? 400 00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:37,320 Sorry. 401 00:17:37,949 --> 00:17:38,459 No, you're good. 402 00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:41,610 So, like, what's coming to me is, is, is this, this statement 403 00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:44,939 that Tony always says, it's like where you resist persist, right? 404 00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:49,169 It's like where you're feeling a block, that means there's an opportunity to grow. 405 00:17:49,439 --> 00:17:54,780 And it goes back to the, the, the core limiting belief that most humans have 406 00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:57,040 is, is wanting to be loved or to be. 407 00:17:57,854 --> 00:17:59,504 And so I, I do this too. 408 00:17:59,594 --> 00:18:02,985 I, I'm so worried that if I make this decision, what are 409 00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:04,905 people going to think of me? 410 00:18:05,445 --> 00:18:08,564 And so it's, it's so common. 411 00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:11,354 You know, something that actually just came up for me recently. 412 00:18:12,135 --> 00:18:15,135 Um, you know, I, I've been, I've been pretty much single for like, the last 413 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:19,635 four years, and I just met a woman and I've been, I've been scared. 414 00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:22,425 I've been scared to want to get into this relationship because I'm so. 415 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,780 Of like what other people are gonna think I'm so worried of, of 416 00:18:26,785 --> 00:18:28,170 what I'm thinking about myself. 417 00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:33,930 And so actually today, I, I actually, you know, we, we, I guess officially 418 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:36,060 became boyfriend girlfriend. 419 00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:40,320 And, and, and I share this because it's like the, the fear that I was 420 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,550 experiencing for the last, you know, five or six weeks, um, is real. 421 00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:47,460 And, and, and, and so, but like once I was able to like lean. 422 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,510 And, and the fear that was coming up for me was like, I'm feeling insecure. 423 00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:55,290 And so like this morning I was talking to her and I was like, you know, I feel 424 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,860 really insecure and, and, and I, and I'm, and I, and I don't wanna burden you 425 00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:00,930 with like, what's going on side of me. 426 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,450 And she's like, we'll, we'll just share what's going on. 427 00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:05,640 And then as soon as I was able to share that, I'm feeling 428 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,380 insecure and, and I'm just scared. 429 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,750 And, and, you know, I have been in a relationship in a long time. 430 00:19:10,170 --> 00:19:12,540 Immediately the pressure was released. 431 00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:13,920 I, I wasn't fearful anymore. 432 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,905 And I was like, you know what, like, This is, this is something I want. 433 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:20,835 This is something that I will enjoy, and so let me just be present and let me just 434 00:19:20,835 --> 00:19:24,615 enjoy this moment rather than allowing my mind to prevent me from getting into 435 00:19:24,615 --> 00:19:26,205 something that I ultimately always wanted. 436 00:19:27,525 --> 00:19:27,885 Okay. 437 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:29,295 I love it, man. 438 00:19:29,295 --> 00:19:29,685 I love it. 439 00:19:30,165 --> 00:19:31,995 The vulnerability is powerful. 440 00:19:32,355 --> 00:19:32,745 Right. 441 00:19:32,835 --> 00:19:37,875 People tend to offend, feel, fear, vulnerability, but there's a, there's 442 00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:42,825 a power in vulnerability because we all have moments, we all have places 443 00:19:42,825 --> 00:19:46,815 to work, things that we have to deal with and process, and there's, 444 00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:49,995 there's a lot of power in, in being able to just have a vulnerable, 445 00:19:49,995 --> 00:19:51,465 honest conversation with people. 446 00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:53,925 So thank you for sharing that. 447 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:59,385 Do you think in your experience that cultural and social factors 448 00:19:59,445 --> 00:20:02,025 influence people's resistance to per personal development? 449 00:20:04,425 --> 00:20:06,135 I mean, it, it's, it's pretty common. 450 00:20:06,135 --> 00:20:09,255 I mean, I would say that most people, I mean, even me growing up, like my, my 451 00:20:09,255 --> 00:20:12,975 father was, was, was, you know, don't, you know, men don't cry and, you know, 452 00:20:12,975 --> 00:20:14,805 if, if you're injured just walk it off. 453 00:20:15,135 --> 00:20:16,875 And so, yeah. 454 00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:18,615 I mean it's, it's, it's wild. 455 00:20:18,615 --> 00:20:22,275 But it's, it's, it's, I'm so far from that today because I realize. 456 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,230 That if, if I'm not releasing this, this internal energy that's going 457 00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:29,590 on inside of me, then it, it's gonna fester into some sort of disease. 458 00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:33,190 I'm gonna get sick or I'm gonna end up exploding on somebody. 459 00:20:33,370 --> 00:20:37,120 I mean, typically for, you know, there was a time when I, I used to go to anger 460 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,070 management cuz I, I was very explosive. 461 00:20:39,075 --> 00:20:41,170 I would, I would just blow up all the time. 462 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,760 And a lot of it had to do with me, my unwilling being taught by my dad to like, 463 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,300 suck it up and like, don't communicate what's going on and, and that I. 464 00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:53,940 Almost getting in trouble that, Hey, I need to do something about this. 465 00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:56,460 I need to be able to like really express myself and let 466 00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:57,840 people know what's going on. 467 00:20:58,485 --> 00:21:04,064 And so it's, it's, you know, very common for, for, for men especially to, to be 468 00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:07,485 taught as children, to to be tough and to to be, you're the man of the house. 469 00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:10,875 You need to, you need to, you need to be, be strong for the family. 470 00:21:11,294 --> 00:21:15,435 And so it like being vulnerable or communicating at times could be, 471 00:21:15,554 --> 00:21:17,655 could seem like a sign of weakness. 472 00:21:17,835 --> 00:21:19,274 And it's actually a sign of strength. 473 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,524 And I think you mentioned it earlier about vulnerability. 474 00:21:21,585 --> 00:21:22,725 It's such a powerful. 475 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,250 To, to allow people in, to really see what's going on. 476 00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:29,520 And you, and you also said earlier, like it we're, we're stronger together. 477 00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:32,370 You know, like even just this conversation that we're having here, 478 00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:34,530 like it's allowing us to get connected. 479 00:21:34,530 --> 00:21:38,270 It's allowing us to really see inside of us and, and, and 480 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,110 introspectively what's going on. 481 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,040 And, and there's this opportunity for love and connection, which is one of 482 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,600 the human needs that every human has. 483 00:21:45,870 --> 00:21:46,800 And so, yeah. 484 00:21:49,379 --> 00:21:50,870 Do you, uh, do you watch much Televis. 485 00:21:52,095 --> 00:21:53,715 I really don't, you know, it's interesting. 486 00:21:53,815 --> 00:21:57,195 I, I, I guess I'll do like a Netflix movie here and there, or I'll watch 487 00:21:57,195 --> 00:21:58,575 sports if, if there's some kind. 488 00:21:58,575 --> 00:21:59,625 But I'm so busy. 489 00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:02,145 I, I, I don't really watch that much tv. 490 00:22:02,145 --> 00:22:03,675 Now what do you got? 491 00:22:04,275 --> 00:22:07,965 I, I've cut back on the majority of what I watch, but every now and 492 00:22:07,965 --> 00:22:10,395 then the show will come out and it's like, okay, I wanna see that series. 493 00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:10,725 Right. 494 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:12,495 Uh, I love, I love the. 495 00:22:13,814 --> 00:22:14,495 Okay with him. 496 00:22:15,524 --> 00:22:20,504 Um, but at one point, right, this guy's super like badass 497 00:22:20,504 --> 00:22:22,185 and et cetera, et cetera, right? 498 00:22:22,635 --> 00:22:29,355 And he's standing at this banquet and settling an argument between a 499 00:22:29,355 --> 00:22:35,054 couple lords and he very humbly is like, well, the Lords were no better 500 00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:36,495 than I, cuz I got my ass kicked. 501 00:22:36,495 --> 00:22:37,564 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 502 00:22:38,145 --> 00:22:41,655 Right and totally just bowed to these, you know, stuffed shirt nobility 503 00:22:41,655 --> 00:22:43,755 that would die in any fight with him. 504 00:22:44,745 --> 00:22:48,105 And the queen was like, you're gonna come sit with me. 505 00:22:48,105 --> 00:22:53,865 Cuz any man who can throw himself under the table that openly I is, you know, 506 00:22:54,135 --> 00:22:58,325 has what it takes to really stand right. 507 00:22:58,485 --> 00:23:01,515 If you're that, you can throw yourself under the table and be 508 00:23:01,515 --> 00:23:03,795 open like that about your failures. 509 00:23:04,335 --> 00:23:06,345 Than that you, you have a strength. 510 00:23:06,345 --> 00:23:07,275 That's just incredible. 511 00:23:07,695 --> 00:23:11,415 I was like, wow, TV got something really right, . Yeah. 512 00:23:11,755 --> 00:23:11,995 Yeah. 513 00:23:12,465 --> 00:23:14,595 It doesn't happen very often, but every now and then you get that. 514 00:23:14,595 --> 00:23:16,365 It's like, wow, okay. 515 00:23:16,635 --> 00:23:18,285 That made the whole series worth watching right there. 516 00:23:18,285 --> 00:23:18,975 That one nugget. 517 00:23:20,385 --> 00:23:23,925 Now guys, we've been discussing some common things that really kind of 518 00:23:23,925 --> 00:23:27,075 get in your way of growing and holds you back from being your best self. 519 00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:30,165 Next part of the show, we're gonna dive into some personal development For 520 00:23:30,165 --> 00:23:32,025 anyone, things that will help anybody. 521 00:23:32,055 --> 00:23:34,665 Everyone, man, woman, child, doesn't matter. 522 00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:37,815 We're gonna world our sponsor and we will be right back with more from Ryan's. 523 00:23:37,815 --> 00:23:37,975 Okay? 524 00:23:39,075 --> 00:23:40,305 How well do you sleep at night? 525 00:23:40,425 --> 00:23:43,004 Do you toss and turn and wake up more tired than when you went to bed? 526 00:23:43,514 --> 00:23:46,185 Sleep is commonly one of the critical elements people 527 00:23:46,185 --> 00:23:47,504 fall short on in their life. 528 00:23:47,805 --> 00:23:50,685 The quality of sleep you get directly affects your ability to control 529 00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:54,044 your weight, your ability to add muscle, your stress levels, and your 530 00:23:54,455 --> 00:23:55,784 everyday job and life performance. 531 00:23:56,385 --> 00:23:58,725 If you're ready to move to the next level, then sleep. 532 00:23:59,235 --> 00:24:00,315 Has to be part of the plan. 533 00:24:00,945 --> 00:24:04,125 Check out our forensic ghost bed.com if you're ready to get your best sleep. 534 00:24:04,215 --> 00:24:05,115 I love my ghost bed. 535 00:24:05,115 --> 00:24:08,115 I've been sleeping on one for a couple years and has made a 536 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,435 huge difference in how I sleep. 537 00:24:09,764 --> 00:24:13,545 Hit ghost bed.com and use the code, the Fallible Man 30 to get 30% 538 00:24:13,550 --> 00:24:16,815 off your order and start getting better night's sleep tomorrow. 539 00:24:17,805 --> 00:24:19,335 Now let's go on to the. 540 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:20,939 Welcome back guys. 541 00:24:20,939 --> 00:24:23,760 In the first part of the show, we were discussing some common things that prevent 542 00:24:24,389 --> 00:24:27,810 people from growing to their best selves and really achieving what they want to. 543 00:24:28,139 --> 00:24:30,419 In this part of the show, we're gonna discuss some personal development that 544 00:24:30,419 --> 00:24:33,060 can be applied to anybody looking to grow. 545 00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:38,370 So, Brian, in your experience, what's how, how can people start to 546 00:24:38,375 --> 00:24:41,760 identify their core values and start to align them with their personal 547 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:42,080 goals? 548 00:24:43,485 --> 00:24:46,665 I would say based on the outcomes of their current life, right? 549 00:24:46,665 --> 00:24:49,935 It's like, you know, I've learned this saying, it's like measure results, 550 00:24:49,935 --> 00:24:54,165 change activities, and so if the result of my life isn't where I want it to be, 551 00:24:54,165 --> 00:24:55,605 then I need to change the activities. 552 00:24:56,070 --> 00:24:58,649 Which would be how I'm showing up or, or how I'm presenting 553 00:24:58,655 --> 00:25:00,149 myself in those moments. 554 00:25:00,659 --> 00:25:04,439 And so what, what comes to me is the three dimensions of a relationship. 555 00:25:04,439 --> 00:25:07,649 So this is a practice that I've implemented in my life 556 00:25:07,860 --> 00:25:10,139 that has significantly changed the trajectory of my life. 557 00:25:10,199 --> 00:25:12,929 Has signif significantly changed my relationships. 558 00:25:13,455 --> 00:25:16,155 And it's, it's ultimately give me everything that I'm looking for. 559 00:25:16,215 --> 00:25:18,764 And so the three dimensions of a relationship, the first 560 00:25:18,764 --> 00:25:21,105 dimension is it's all about me. 561 00:25:21,195 --> 00:25:25,455 This relationship exists specifically for my needs only. 562 00:25:25,754 --> 00:25:28,365 And so if you think about that, right, it's like if I'm showing up into a 563 00:25:28,365 --> 00:25:31,665 relationship, which there was a time in my life when I would do that, not, 564 00:25:31,665 --> 00:25:35,655 not long ago, I was showing up in relationships and, and only looking 565 00:25:35,655 --> 00:25:37,274 at what I can gain from that relat. 566 00:25:38,115 --> 00:25:41,445 And as soon as that individual or that situation wasn't giving me 567 00:25:41,445 --> 00:25:43,395 what I needed, I would then move on. 568 00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:46,815 And so you ask yourself, well, well imagine how that person may feel 569 00:25:47,115 --> 00:25:48,615 in that type of a relationship. 570 00:25:48,795 --> 00:25:51,975 They would feel used, they wouldn't feel important, they wouldn't feel loved. 571 00:25:52,275 --> 00:25:55,395 And that was, that's where I existed for some time. 572 00:25:55,545 --> 00:25:57,675 And then I, I thought I evolved. 573 00:25:58,430 --> 00:26:02,210 Which is the second dimension of a relationship, which is what society 574 00:26:02,210 --> 00:26:04,610 says is equal or equality, right? 575 00:26:04,610 --> 00:26:07,880 There's this equal relationship, and so I would show up in those types 576 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,690 of relationships thinking that I was improving, thinking that my life was 577 00:26:11,690 --> 00:26:13,280 really getting to where I wanted to be. 578 00:26:13,730 --> 00:26:16,820 But if you think about it, if, if we're sitting here in this equal 579 00:26:16,820 --> 00:26:20,810 relationship or, or this relationship that, that we're, we're keeping. 580 00:26:21,780 --> 00:26:24,720 Then imagine how somebody may feel if I'm sitting here evaluating 581 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:25,890 every move that they're making. 582 00:26:26,070 --> 00:26:29,010 And so if I give you five and you give me back five, that 583 00:26:29,010 --> 00:26:31,080 relationship exists that that's fair. 584 00:26:31,290 --> 00:26:34,710 But as soon as you stop giving me what I think you should, all 585 00:26:34,710 --> 00:26:38,520 of a sudden I'm pulling back, I'm withholding from that relationship. 586 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:41,040 And then you would say that would be a conditional relationship. 587 00:26:41,670 --> 00:26:45,690 And I would find myself in those relationships quite often and, 588 00:26:45,690 --> 00:26:49,710 and where I've evolved to over the last year and a half to two years 589 00:26:49,710 --> 00:26:51,120 is the third dimension of a relat. 590 00:26:51,830 --> 00:26:53,355 which is your needs, are my needs. 591 00:26:53,715 --> 00:26:58,185 And so in order to to meet somebody's needs, you have to fill up your cup first. 592 00:26:58,545 --> 00:27:02,415 And so what I've learned with this, I have to take care of myself. 593 00:27:02,445 --> 00:27:05,865 I have to be willing to speak to those coaches that I don't wanna speak to. 594 00:27:06,135 --> 00:27:08,865 I have to be willing to have those difficult conversations when I don't wanna 595 00:27:08,865 --> 00:27:13,185 have those difficult conversations and to, to feed my mind with meditation, feed my 596 00:27:13,185 --> 00:27:17,955 mind with, with, with spiritual outlets and, and really just take care of myself, 597 00:27:17,955 --> 00:27:19,216 you know, whether that's fitness or. 598 00:27:19,755 --> 00:27:20,565 Or in the gym. 599 00:27:20,685 --> 00:27:25,245 And, and once my cup is full, then I'm able to deliver those 600 00:27:25,245 --> 00:27:26,805 needs of those around me. 601 00:27:27,015 --> 00:27:30,945 And, and doing it unconditionally, doing it without expectation, you know? 602 00:27:30,950 --> 00:27:34,905 And, and one of my mentors told me, if you turn your expectations into 603 00:27:34,910 --> 00:27:38,085 appreciations, you're, you'll have a completely different life experience. 604 00:27:38,415 --> 00:27:39,705 And that's what happened. 605 00:27:39,705 --> 00:27:42,525 That has what, that is what has happened for me in the third 606 00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:43,665 dimension of a relationship. 607 00:27:44,775 --> 00:27:45,135 Okay. 608 00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:49,785 Now I know one of the things I've experienced with other working with 609 00:27:49,785 --> 00:27:54,945 other men is there's a lot of negative self-talk in the back of our heads 610 00:27:55,035 --> 00:27:58,635 a lot of times, and those impact our self-limiting beliefs, right? 611 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,015 They just kind of compound those. 612 00:28:00,255 --> 00:28:05,565 What are some effective strategies to help overcome those limiting 613 00:28:05,565 --> 00:28:08,085 beliefs and that, especially that negative self-talk in the back of our. 614 00:28:09,629 --> 00:28:13,350 Yeah, so I, I think what's important is to really understand like why that 615 00:28:13,350 --> 00:28:15,149 negative self-talk is actually happening. 616 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:20,790 And so I said it earlier, 95% of, of our mind is unconscious, right? 617 00:28:20,790 --> 00:28:22,320 So we're not even aware of what's going on. 618 00:28:22,590 --> 00:28:26,820 And so fear is, is the core driver in that negative self-talk. 619 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,310 And so you ask yourself, well, why is this happening to. 620 00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:34,155 And your unconscious brain, its entire existence is to keep you alive. 621 00:28:34,545 --> 00:28:38,625 And so your unconscious brain is constantly scanning the horizon and 622 00:28:38,625 --> 00:28:40,905 finding what's wrong with every situation. 623 00:28:41,235 --> 00:28:45,675 And so the human mind has about 65 to 70,000 thoughts a day. 624 00:28:46,139 --> 00:28:50,879 85% of those thoughts happen to be negative thoughts. 625 00:28:51,179 --> 00:28:56,010 About 85 to 90% of those negative thoughts happen to be repetitive thoughts because 626 00:28:56,010 --> 00:29:00,780 your brain is, is, is exploring what's wrong, what's wrong with this situation 627 00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:02,490 because it's designed to protect you. 628 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:07,230 And so, One of the strategies that, that I've used it, which is, 629 00:29:07,260 --> 00:29:10,110 which is very simple, is, is like what you're focusing on, right? 630 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:11,970 What you focus on, you feel. 631 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:15,900 And so if I'm focusing on what's wrong, then I'm gonna feel 632 00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:17,460 those disempowering emotions. 633 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,690 If I'm focusing on what's right, then I'm gonna feel empowering emotions. 634 00:29:21,930 --> 00:29:24,780 And here's what's interesting is there's only two options, 635 00:29:25,050 --> 00:29:26,790 empowering or disempower. 636 00:29:27,055 --> 00:29:32,935 And so if I know my, my human makeup, my, my bi, my, my biological brain is designed 637 00:29:32,940 --> 00:29:34,825 to find what's wrong in every situation. 638 00:29:35,155 --> 00:29:38,635 I have to consciously practice to focus on what's right. 639 00:29:38,905 --> 00:29:42,985 I have to constantly practice to focus on what I can control. 640 00:29:43,195 --> 00:29:45,745 I have to consciously practice to focus on. 641 00:29:46,334 --> 00:29:50,205 What I do have versus what I don't have or focus on the present 642 00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:51,824 versus the past or the future. 643 00:29:52,094 --> 00:29:53,875 And it's a conditioning, it's a practice. 644 00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:55,574 It's like going to the gym and working a muscle. 645 00:29:55,754 --> 00:29:59,594 You're strengthening that emotional muscle to focus on what you can 646 00:29:59,594 --> 00:30:01,875 control, focus on what you do have. 647 00:30:02,084 --> 00:30:05,324 And if you do that, you'll start to experience a much different life. 648 00:30:05,774 --> 00:30:11,415 And, and what you focus on, you feel what you feel is the experience of life, right? 649 00:30:11,415 --> 00:30:13,875 And so meaning, the meaning you give. 650 00:30:15,180 --> 00:30:18,090 Equals the emotion that you experience and you can give any 651 00:30:18,090 --> 00:30:19,650 situation, any meaning you want. 652 00:30:20,010 --> 00:30:22,320 And, and emotion is energy and motion. 653 00:30:22,380 --> 00:30:25,320 And so where focus goes, energy flows. 654 00:30:25,620 --> 00:30:28,650 And so that's, that's a practice that I've ex, that I've been working 655 00:30:28,650 --> 00:30:32,910 on for the last four years and, and that's why I've been able to have 656 00:30:32,910 --> 00:30:36,120 this sense of freedom and a sense of peace and a sense of serenity because 657 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,040 I'm focusing on what I can focus on. 658 00:30:40,995 --> 00:30:43,215 Now, guys, if you're getting something out of this, do all the good no 659 00:30:43,215 --> 00:30:44,895 social media nonsense that I hate. 660 00:30:45,074 --> 00:30:46,245 Hit the like button. 661 00:30:46,274 --> 00:30:48,225 Leave us review on Apple Pocket, whatever. 662 00:30:48,225 --> 00:30:49,125 You guys know the drill. 663 00:30:49,125 --> 00:30:49,544 I'm sorry. 664 00:30:49,544 --> 00:30:51,524 I, I hate even asking for that crap anymore. 665 00:30:52,395 --> 00:30:54,105 distraction from what we're trying to do here. 666 00:30:54,824 --> 00:30:55,095 Yeah. 667 00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:58,095 Now Ryan, how can a person, right? 668 00:30:58,095 --> 00:31:01,905 This is one of the biggest things I, I run into in peoples right, is how. 669 00:31:02,774 --> 00:31:06,975 Balance our personal and our professional goals and start to feel 670 00:31:06,975 --> 00:31:10,665 that sense of achievement as we develop ourselves in the areas of our lives. 671 00:31:12,135 --> 00:31:12,344 Yeah. 672 00:31:12,344 --> 00:31:16,635 So when, when I think of that, uh, you know, think of like balancing, right? 673 00:31:16,635 --> 00:31:20,475 Like if, if you're on a, um, like if, if, if you're trying to like 674 00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:22,695 balance, like think about how uncomfortable that is, right? 675 00:31:22,695 --> 00:31:25,485 So a lot of times we think like, oh, we need to find balance. 676 00:31:25,695 --> 00:31:26,685 Like, I don't know. 677 00:31:26,685 --> 00:31:30,435 For me it's, it's very difficult to, to get comfortable balancing and. 678 00:31:31,665 --> 00:31:35,295 It, it goes back to like my disbursement of energy, right? 679 00:31:35,295 --> 00:31:37,305 And so it, it's, it's a practice, right? 680 00:31:37,305 --> 00:31:41,265 It's like you have to literally sit down and map out your entire week. 681 00:31:41,265 --> 00:31:46,455 What I've learned is to live out of my calendar, and so I literally 682 00:31:46,515 --> 00:31:50,175 timestamp everything that I'm supposed to do, follow through with what I'm 683 00:31:50,295 --> 00:31:52,215 supposed to do, non-negotiables. 684 00:31:52,215 --> 00:31:53,925 When I put it in my calendar, it's a must. 685 00:31:54,165 --> 00:31:56,325 There's no such thing as like, oh, I'll, I'll push. 686 00:31:57,345 --> 00:32:00,074 and, and once you start, and it's gonna be difficult, the first couple weeks, it's 687 00:32:00,074 --> 00:32:03,225 gonna be difficult because you're gonna be, you're not gonna be used to being so 688 00:32:03,225 --> 00:32:05,925 rigid and, and being so, so time specific. 689 00:32:06,254 --> 00:32:09,044 But then all of a sudden what will start to happen is you'll realize 690 00:32:09,044 --> 00:32:10,514 how much time you've been wasting. 691 00:32:11,115 --> 00:32:18,225 And so literally, like I, I, I am, I , I, I have, I have 450 employees. 692 00:32:18,945 --> 00:32:21,254 I have nine treatment centers and five states. 693 00:32:22,725 --> 00:32:24,105 I'm building a personal brand. 694 00:32:24,135 --> 00:32:25,335 I'm speaking on stages. 695 00:32:25,335 --> 00:32:27,255 I'm doing five to six podcasts a week. 696 00:32:27,555 --> 00:32:30,105 I go to three or four recovery meetings a week. 697 00:32:30,285 --> 00:32:32,985 I speak to four coaches for four hours each week. 698 00:32:33,135 --> 00:32:34,125 I go to the gym. 699 00:32:34,185 --> 00:32:35,325 I eat meal plans. 700 00:32:35,655 --> 00:32:39,195 And so I, I tell you this because I am doing more in my life today than 701 00:32:39,195 --> 00:32:42,105 I've ever done, and I feel like I have more time today than I've ever had. 702 00:32:42,375 --> 00:32:43,965 So it's, it's kind of like an oxymoron. 703 00:32:43,965 --> 00:32:44,505 It's crazy. 704 00:32:44,625 --> 00:32:46,185 But I've mastered my calendar. 705 00:32:46,185 --> 00:32:48,285 I've mastered my structure. 706 00:32:48,645 --> 00:32:51,255 And see, consistency makes the non-believers, believers 707 00:32:51,285 --> 00:32:53,745 and the person that needs to believe the most is yourself. 708 00:32:54,045 --> 00:32:58,965 And so once you have evidence that this structure works, then it's 709 00:32:58,965 --> 00:33:00,345 gonna be second nature for you. 710 00:33:00,350 --> 00:33:02,865 Then it becomes a part of you, then it's like routine, then 711 00:33:02,865 --> 00:33:04,095 it's like waking up every day. 712 00:33:04,215 --> 00:33:05,295 And that's your structure. 713 00:33:05,295 --> 00:33:07,605 And then you can just build on that momentum. 714 00:33:07,755 --> 00:33:08,775 You can't build on failure. 715 00:33:08,775 --> 00:33:10,065 You can only build on success. 716 00:33:10,335 --> 00:33:12,135 And so, and success is not a straight. 717 00:33:12,895 --> 00:33:15,355 And so you understand that it's, you're gonna have good days, you're gonna 718 00:33:15,355 --> 00:33:17,365 have bad days, you're gonna have good days, you're gonna have bad days. 719 00:33:17,515 --> 00:33:18,695 But it's the progression. 720 00:33:18,700 --> 00:33:21,175 It's, it's, it's just constantly looking to do a little bit better 721 00:33:21,175 --> 00:33:23,635 every single day or every single week or every single month. 722 00:33:23,845 --> 00:33:26,605 And then all of a sudden your weeks turns into months, your months turned 723 00:33:26,605 --> 00:33:30,295 into years, and then all of a sudden a decade goes by and you're like, holy crap. 724 00:33:30,295 --> 00:33:32,005 Like this is my life after 10 years. 725 00:33:32,185 --> 00:33:33,445 And that's been my experience. 726 00:33:34,525 --> 00:33:34,765 Ok, 727 00:33:36,145 --> 00:33:38,430 now, Here. 728 00:33:38,430 --> 00:33:40,590 Here's big takeaway portions, right? 729 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:45,480 Our listeners today are listening to two guys that talk about personal 730 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,780 development a lot, and there's a lot in the background of their head going, 731 00:33:48,785 --> 00:33:49,950 well, you guys do this all the time. 732 00:33:49,955 --> 00:33:51,120 You guys talk about this all the time. 733 00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:52,710 This is kinda your lifestyle. 734 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,800 But realistically, right, the rest of us live in the real world. 735 00:33:58,185 --> 00:34:02,025 What are the first three steps our listeners can implement right now 736 00:34:02,505 --> 00:34:04,475 to start their journey in personal 737 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:04,815 development? 738 00:34:06,285 --> 00:34:10,275 First, I would, my, my first step would be telling you to, 739 00:34:10,304 --> 00:34:12,045 to, to shift your belief, right? 740 00:34:12,045 --> 00:34:14,085 As soon as, cause there's two options in life. 741 00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:16,005 Either yes, I can do it, or no, I cannot do it. 742 00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:17,985 And so that's the only choices you have. 743 00:34:17,985 --> 00:34:23,175 And once I realized, My life significantly changed because either it's like, yes, 744 00:34:23,175 --> 00:34:24,465 I can do it, or no, I can't do it. 745 00:34:24,675 --> 00:34:25,815 So it starts saying yes. 746 00:34:25,845 --> 00:34:29,235 Start saying yes to every opportunity that you possibly have, and your belief 747 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,645 systems are gonna start to change. 748 00:34:30,825 --> 00:34:33,705 And I know it's gonna be difficult, but it's, it's about building up that muscle. 749 00:34:33,915 --> 00:34:35,475 Think about going to the gym for the first time. 750 00:34:35,625 --> 00:34:38,415 First time you walk into the gym, you're not gonna be benching the 751 00:34:38,415 --> 00:34:40,665 weight that you wanna bench or lifting the weight that you wanna lift or 752 00:34:40,665 --> 00:34:41,715 looking the way you wanna look. 753 00:34:42,045 --> 00:34:45,105 But if you go to the gym long enough, eventually you'll start to see some gains. 754 00:34:45,105 --> 00:34:46,365 You'll start to see some progress. 755 00:34:46,605 --> 00:34:47,455 And so that's the. 756 00:34:47,780 --> 00:34:52,220 Concept with, with saying yes, eventually it's gonna start to become much easier 757 00:34:52,220 --> 00:34:55,970 to say yes, and then you're gonna find more time to actually implement those 758 00:34:55,970 --> 00:34:57,260 things that you're saying yes to. 759 00:34:58,010 --> 00:34:59,360 That would be my first step, right? 760 00:34:59,570 --> 00:35:01,670 Second step would be get a coach. 761 00:35:01,970 --> 00:35:05,030 Find somebody that you look up to, find somebody that that 762 00:35:05,030 --> 00:35:06,230 has something that you want. 763 00:35:06,495 --> 00:35:10,605 Find somebody that has traveled down the road that you wanna travel down and, 764 00:35:10,605 --> 00:35:12,584 and, and inquire for that individual. 765 00:35:12,584 --> 00:35:14,055 Find out if he will work with you. 766 00:35:14,055 --> 00:35:15,734 And don't accept no for an answer. 767 00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:18,975 If this person's too busy or he has a lot going on, that's more 768 00:35:18,975 --> 00:35:20,355 of a reason why you want them. 769 00:35:20,359 --> 00:35:23,625 Because if they're busy doing their life, then that means they're practicing 770 00:35:23,629 --> 00:35:24,975 the life that you probably wanna live. 771 00:35:25,515 --> 00:35:27,105 And the the third step would. 772 00:35:28,395 --> 00:35:30,405 Getting into the gym is, is so important. 773 00:35:30,455 --> 00:35:32,625 Your, your physiology, your body, your temple. 774 00:35:32,865 --> 00:35:34,695 It's so important to condition yourself. 775 00:35:34,875 --> 00:35:39,255 And so if, if you literally can't jump on a treadmill and run for a mile, that's, 776 00:35:39,285 --> 00:35:43,785 that's your, your, your focus goes where, as far as your physiology will let you. 777 00:35:43,965 --> 00:35:45,015 And so it's a conditioning. 778 00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:48,645 So today in my life, I literally train as if I'm a professional. 779 00:35:49,590 --> 00:35:54,100 I don't play a professional sport, but I literally take, I, I consider 780 00:35:54,105 --> 00:35:58,680 my life as, as, as I live my life, as if I'm a professional and I'm 781 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,360 living life as a professional. 782 00:36:00,510 --> 00:36:02,190 Everything that I do, it's intentional. 783 00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:07,500 When I'm going to meet a friend for, for, for coffee, I'm, I'm intentional. 784 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:08,190 I'm present. 785 00:36:08,190 --> 00:36:08,760 I'm there. 786 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:09,390 I'm with them. 787 00:36:09,390 --> 00:36:10,620 My phone's on the side. 788 00:36:10,830 --> 00:36:14,070 I'm giving them undivided attention, and that takes. 789 00:36:15,015 --> 00:36:18,465 That is not easy speaking on stages, doing podcasts. 790 00:36:18,645 --> 00:36:20,025 That takes a lot of energy. 791 00:36:20,235 --> 00:36:24,375 And so the only way that you're gonna be able to exist in this new life or 792 00:36:24,375 --> 00:36:29,625 this new 2.0 version of yourself is you have to be conditioned to actually 793 00:36:29,630 --> 00:36:31,305 take on these new responsibilities. 794 00:36:31,515 --> 00:36:33,255 And so that would be my three steps. 795 00:36:34,215 --> 00:36:34,575 All right. 796 00:36:35,205 --> 00:36:36,975 What's next for Ryan Zaire? 797 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:44,130 So what's next for me is, is, is I'm, I'm obsessing and finding every 798 00:36:44,690 --> 00:36:49,020 possible opportunity to share my story and to create change in this world 799 00:36:49,020 --> 00:36:50,880 and, and to have positive impact. 800 00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:54,900 You know, I've been through so much in my life and I've had so many challenges that 801 00:36:54,904 --> 00:36:59,100 I've been able to overcome, and I wanna give those gifts to other people because, 802 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,570 you know, being a seventh grade drop. 803 00:37:01,259 --> 00:37:04,110 You know, in and outta juvenile detention facilities for two years 804 00:37:04,110 --> 00:37:06,540 as a child experiencing death. 805 00:37:06,630 --> 00:37:09,000 October 8th, 2001, I was in an automobile accident. 806 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,290 I was trauma hooked to the hospital. 807 00:37:10,290 --> 00:37:12,270 I was pronounced dead at the, the scene of a crime. 808 00:37:12,630 --> 00:37:16,830 Um, I was looking at 25 to life and to, to be in the position that I'm in 809 00:37:16,830 --> 00:37:19,740 today is, is almost like unbelievable. 810 00:37:20,235 --> 00:37:21,345 But it's the work. 811 00:37:21,345 --> 00:37:24,165 It's, it's, it's, it's what I've been willing to do to 812 00:37:24,165 --> 00:37:25,515 get to where I'm at today. 813 00:37:25,725 --> 00:37:29,295 And, and, and I just wanna honor you for allowing me on your show, because 814 00:37:29,295 --> 00:37:30,585 this is the start of it, right? 815 00:37:30,590 --> 00:37:33,615 I, I want the world to know what's possible. 816 00:37:33,705 --> 00:37:37,125 Doesn't matter where you've come from, you can achieve and overcome anything. 817 00:37:37,275 --> 00:37:38,655 And that's been my experience. 818 00:37:38,835 --> 00:37:40,275 And so I'm not sitting here. 819 00:37:40,455 --> 00:37:42,765 Yes, a super successful entrepreneur. 820 00:37:42,945 --> 00:37:44,355 It wasn't always that way. 821 00:37:44,535 --> 00:37:47,085 There was a lot, the majority of my life has been a. 822 00:37:47,895 --> 00:37:51,945 I've just recently, over the last 10 years, have had some success. 823 00:37:52,395 --> 00:37:56,475 The, the prior 27 years may not have looked so successful, and it 824 00:37:56,475 --> 00:37:57,735 definitely didn't feel so good. 825 00:37:58,035 --> 00:38:02,685 And so, but that's my consistency to showing up and doing what's uncomfortable. 826 00:38:03,165 --> 00:38:05,335 And so what's next for me, man, is, is changing the world. 827 00:38:06,525 --> 00:38:09,525 . It's a good, it's a good goal right now, guys. 828 00:38:09,705 --> 00:38:14,175 As you can see, we've barely scratched the surface with Ryan, uh, as a podcast. 829 00:38:14,175 --> 00:38:16,005 That was one of the hardest things for me is trying to. 830 00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:17,460 Iron down. 831 00:38:17,460 --> 00:38:19,290 Cause I, I can't do four hour episodes. 832 00:38:19,295 --> 00:38:20,520 I'm not Joe Rogan, right. 833 00:38:20,910 --> 00:38:24,270 Uh, , not all of us can do the four to six hour episodes like 834 00:38:24,270 --> 00:38:30,120 Joe, but trying to, I, I meet such incredible people all the time. 835 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:34,530 It's like, how do I get a fraction of your story and focus on like, you 836 00:38:34,530 --> 00:38:38,010 know, one thing where our audience can take something away from it. 837 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:43,800 So guys, the best way to follow up, cuz you can hear there's a lot more about. 838 00:38:45,270 --> 00:38:47,640 Is to go catch up with Ryan. 839 00:38:47,970 --> 00:38:50,340 Ryan, is we level up the best place find you? 840 00:38:50,340 --> 00:38:51,780 Or where do you want people to find you? 841 00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:55,530 Yeah, so there's, we, level up.com is is the organization where they 842 00:38:55,530 --> 00:38:57,780 can go to my Instagram Ryan do. 843 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,590 Um, is also another way follow my Instagram. 844 00:39:01,710 --> 00:39:04,680 We, and on Instagram, I'll, I'll do a lot of posts. 845 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,780 I do post development seminars every six to eight weeks. 846 00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:09,300 We have another one coming up March 25th and 26th. 847 00:39:09,570 --> 00:39:09,780 It's. 848 00:39:10,530 --> 00:39:14,061 Um, I, I allow anybody that wants to come and, and to transform their 849 00:39:14,066 --> 00:39:15,540 life, it's a way for me to give back. 850 00:39:15,540 --> 00:39:19,470 It's a way for me to, to, to serve the community, and, and I'm honored to do so. 851 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,550 And so you can come to the event, call me on social media, or you can go to 852 00:39:23,555 --> 00:39:24,840 our website and reach out to us there. 853 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:25,530 Send us an email 854 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:27,000 now, guys. 855 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,000 As always, we'll have all of Ryan's links in the show notes or in the 856 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,270 description, whatever platform you're checking the show out on. 857 00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:39,480 But Ryan, Before we wrap this up, what is the biggest takeaway you 858 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,009 want our audience to hear today from 859 00:39:41,009 --> 00:39:41,279 you? 860 00:39:42,839 --> 00:39:45,390 I would say the biggest takeaway is, is really just lean in 861 00:39:45,390 --> 00:39:46,529 and start to love yourself. 862 00:39:46,950 --> 00:39:51,029 You know, love all those parts of yourself, understanding that, you know, 863 00:39:51,270 --> 00:39:54,839 it's . You know, we're, we're, you know, for me, I'm my own worst critic, right? 864 00:39:54,839 --> 00:39:58,500 And, and I, and I know so many people that, that, that think that they should 865 00:39:58,500 --> 00:40:01,290 be somewhere else in life or think that they shouldn't have been dealt 866 00:40:01,290 --> 00:40:02,339 with the hand that they've been dealt. 867 00:40:03,060 --> 00:40:05,760 And, and just to shift that perspective and, and to start looking 868 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,520 at it as a gift and, and you'll start to find the gift, right? 869 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,100 The mind is a problem solving mechanism. 870 00:40:11,100 --> 00:40:14,580 So the mind is designed to answer questions that you ask it. 871 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,550 So if you ask it a shitty question, you're gonna get a shitty answer. 872 00:40:18,134 --> 00:40:20,445 And so if you ask yourself, why is my life so shitty? 873 00:40:20,445 --> 00:40:21,765 You're gonna find a shitty answer. 874 00:40:21,884 --> 00:40:24,345 But if you ask yourself like, why was this a gift? 875 00:40:24,555 --> 00:40:26,325 Why was this such a beautiful opportunity? 876 00:40:26,595 --> 00:40:28,275 You're gonna find the grace and the love in that. 877 00:40:28,605 --> 00:40:32,355 And so my, my wish for you is, is just to start loving yourself. 878 00:40:34,755 --> 00:40:39,375 Guys, there's a lot to unpack from this and there's a whole lot more. 879 00:40:39,404 --> 00:40:43,035 Like I was, I was digging, I was over on your TikTok and your Instagram, uh, 880 00:40:43,335 --> 00:40:44,985 this morning actually before the show. 881 00:40:44,985 --> 00:40:46,965 And man, you got a lot of good stuff going on there. 882 00:40:46,970 --> 00:40:51,915 You've, you've got some social media skills I don't have, so I'm, I believe. 883 00:40:52,505 --> 00:40:57,345 Listen, bro, I think I, and I think I absolutely suck , so thank you. 884 00:40:57,345 --> 00:40:58,634 Cause I'm like, I hate it, man. 885 00:40:58,634 --> 00:41:00,705 I'm like, this is not, this is not easy, man. 886 00:41:00,735 --> 00:41:00,975 It's. 887 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:06,150 I, uh, I started like three years ago and I've really only have been 888 00:41:06,150 --> 00:41:08,460 doing it for probably like the last, like four or five months. 889 00:41:08,460 --> 00:41:11,760 Man, cuz it's been so scary to, to get on there, to do these 890 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,470 videos, to get on podcasts. 891 00:41:13,470 --> 00:41:14,130 I get it man. 892 00:41:14,130 --> 00:41:19,050 Fear is real and, and you're hearing it real time, you know, so I, I, I commend 893 00:41:19,055 --> 00:41:22,800 you for even doing this podcast cuz I've talked about doing a podcast for five 894 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,050 years and I still have not done it so. 895 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:26,910 It's, it's a whole different 896 00:41:26,910 --> 00:41:27,480 animal, right? 897 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:27,839 Everything. 898 00:41:27,839 --> 00:41:31,020 You go from YouTube to social media to podcasting, they're, 899 00:41:31,020 --> 00:41:32,310 they're very different animals. 900 00:41:32,310 --> 00:41:33,330 And the more you take on. 901 00:41:33,855 --> 00:41:34,605 More draining. 902 00:41:34,605 --> 00:41:34,904 It is. 903 00:41:34,935 --> 00:41:39,795 Let me, I'll, I'll say that since I do both YouTube podcasting and social media, 904 00:41:43,065 --> 00:41:46,185 it's so, so stretching like everything has its own rules. 905 00:41:46,634 --> 00:41:49,275 Guys, we have been getting so much out of this conversation. 906 00:41:49,275 --> 00:41:52,694 Ryan, thank you for taking the time to hang out with us today and be on the show. 907 00:41:53,325 --> 00:41:55,755 Guys, go check out what Ryan's got going on. 908 00:41:55,759 --> 00:41:56,085 Okay. 909 00:41:56,325 --> 00:41:58,785 I'm telling you, we barely scratched the surface here. 910 00:42:00,134 --> 00:42:02,654 And as always, be better tomorrow because of what you do today. 911 00:42:02,714 --> 00:42:03,645 We'll see you on the next one. 912 00:42:05,234 --> 00:42:07,725 This has been The Fellow Man Podcast. 913 00:42:08,355 --> 00:42:11,714 Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. 914 00:42:12,495 --> 00:42:14,805 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 915 00:42:15,645 --> 00:42:22,004 Head over to www.thefollowman.com for more content and get 916 00:42:22,004 --> 00:42:23,475 your own Fallible Man gear.

Ryan ZofayProfile Photo

Ryan Zofay

We Level Up, Founder

Ryan Zofay is a successful entrepreneur and motivational speaker. He teaches personal development strategies that measurably improve performance, connection and mindset. Using the teachings of his own successes and failures, Ryan has a unique ability to facilitate deep change for individuals and organizations. Ryan Zofay is the founder of We Level Up Treatment Centers and Personal Development Events. We Level Up produces a liberation from the mental chains that bind us, and enable us to operate at our fullest capacity. Have you ever wondered why you’re always living the same patterns over and over, end up feeling like a victim, or making the same choices which always lead to stress, anguish, and inevitable upset? We Level up offers not an answer, but a solution to these grave dilemmas that face us on a daily basis. Ryan lives for pivotal moments. He has used his history to create change so great in his own life he became inspired to help others too. Ryan has been studying his mentors Tony Robins and Grant Cardone for the past several years and has dedicated nearly 1500 hours of time to personal development training. Ryan feels best when he is able to contribute to those around him. In the last year he has partnered to give back to HomeSafe, H3 (raising 50k) and has begun offering the HOPE scholarship for those suffering from Substance Use Disorder without the resources to go to treatment.