Nothing Changes until your Mind Changes | 9 Mindset Changes to make BEFORE 2023

1 00:00:00,330 --> 00:00:01,440 Do you feel like you're losing? 2 00:00:01,890 --> 00:00:04,410 Do you struggle with feeling like you're not enough? 3 00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:08,640 Struggling with what seems like nothing but dead ends in your life? 4 00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:09,990 Well, you're not alone. 5 00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:14,880 The last few years have been really hard on people, emotionally and mentally. 6 00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:20,130 People's confidence in next year being better, it's not even that 7 00:00:20,130 --> 00:00:21,720 high at the moment, is pretty low. 8 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,310 The first step is to move yourself into just being concerned with what 9 00:00:26,315 --> 00:00:28,410 you have the power to affect that. 10 00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:29,040 That's. 11 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,820 On today's show, I wanna share with you nine different mindsets that 12 00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:36,510 could be hurting your forward progress and your overall outlook on life. 13 00:00:37,019 --> 00:00:40,320 Dirty little whispers that are like someone speaking poison in your ear. 14 00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:44,280 Today we're gonna put a label on 'em so you can address them if they're 15 00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:46,019 creeping in your life and kick them out. 16 00:00:47,070 --> 00:00:48,989 As the mind goes, the rest of your war will follow. 17 00:00:48,989 --> 00:00:51,780 And having these kind of toxic thoughts in your head will wreck you 18 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,590 and prevent you from reaching all the things you wanna do in your life. 19 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,800 So let's start right off the bat with a mindset I'm use. 20 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:04,110 Now this mindset is often coming from years of negative talk from people 21 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:10,170 we looked up to being told you have no value and nothing to offer doing. 22 00:01:10,284 --> 00:01:14,304 People saying things like, Do something, use useless ways of space. 23 00:01:14,904 --> 00:01:16,164 What are you good for? 24 00:01:16,228 --> 00:01:19,160 People You can imagine this, if you haven't lived through it, then maybe 25 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,750 you saw it in a movie, but right. 26 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,970 People actually talk to other people. 27 00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:23,570 This way. 28 00:01:24,830 --> 00:01:26,030 You have no value. 29 00:01:26,465 --> 00:01:28,595 Has been drilled into this person's head. 30 00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:31,655 Guys, we have to say goodbye to my this mindset. 31 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,555 Everyone has value, everyone has purpose, and everyone has something 32 00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:37,895 to contribute and something to offer. 33 00:01:39,155 --> 00:01:42,995 900 years of time and space, and I've never met anyone who wasn't important. 34 00:01:43,535 --> 00:01:44,015 It's Dr. 35 00:01:44,015 --> 00:01:47,235 Who now, guys, I know it's fiction, but guess what? 36 00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:49,835 Fiction has never been more accurate. 37 00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:54,245 You are valuable and you have a purpose just waiting for you to find. 38 00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:57,320 So let's start looking for what that is. 39 00:01:57,890 --> 00:01:59,990 Let's roll into that intro and we're gonna keep on going. 40 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,750 Here's the million dollar question. 41 00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:06,950 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men we 42 00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:10,830 dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 43 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,740 being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? 44 00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:18,260 That's the question in this podcast. 45 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:19,925 We'll help you with those answers. 46 00:02:19,925 --> 00:02:23,135 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 47 00:02:23,345 --> 00:02:25,385 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, Your home for all 48 00:02:25,385 --> 00:02:26,855 things, man, husband, and father. 49 00:02:26,975 --> 00:02:30,575 Big shout out to my fallible nation and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. 50 00:02:30,965 --> 00:02:33,995 My name is Brent, and today we're talking about nine mindset changes 51 00:02:33,995 --> 00:02:38,615 to make before 2023, because nothing changes until your mind changes. 52 00:02:39,755 --> 00:02:43,025 Guys, we already talked about that first one, but number one on this list 53 00:02:43,025 --> 00:02:44,885 is what if you, They don't approve. 54 00:02:45,695 --> 00:02:47,285 This mindset affects people who. 55 00:02:48,215 --> 00:02:52,895 Addicted to external validation and is far more prevalent than most people realize. 56 00:02:53,555 --> 00:02:57,035 Social media has actually further compounded this problem that 57 00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:58,355 has always existed in life. 58 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,535 It's not new, but social media is just like compounding this. 59 00:03:02,075 --> 00:03:06,155 Some people call them people pleasers, but this is all about validation. 60 00:03:06,905 --> 00:03:10,175 The mindset comes from a low self-esteem and low self-worth. 61 00:03:11,735 --> 00:03:15,215 Internal talk like, I don't like me, but if other people approve, then I must be. 62 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:21,770 This mindset leaves you open to be taking advantage of or abused by people. 63 00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:26,720 People will friend people with this mindset because they can take 64 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,940 advantage of them for personal gain. 65 00:03:28,945 --> 00:03:33,500 Likewise, companies will actually abuse their employees on this by playing to 66 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,080 that same need to get more out of them. 67 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,440 Then they expect to help other people because they know you 68 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,970 need that external validation. 69 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,180 You are valuable just as you. 70 00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:47,360 You have to start loving and accepting yourself. 71 00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:51,950 You can dislike things about yourself and work to change them, but you have 72 00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:54,050 to learn to love and respect yourself. 73 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,680 Guys, mindset number two is change is scary. 74 00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,710 This is a really common mindset. 75 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:05,090 A lot of people are just not comfortable or just uncomfortable, I should 76 00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:09,730 say, not comfortable with change, but they're terrified of change. 77 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,935 Change is the very essence of life. 78 00:04:12,965 --> 00:04:16,565 There's almost nothing in existence that does not change. 79 00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:23,285 The only true constant in life is actually change cuz everything constantly changes. 80 00:04:23,765 --> 00:04:27,335 World is in a constant flow of change. 81 00:04:28,205 --> 00:04:34,055 Growth seasons, weather situations, like everything is in constant flux. 82 00:04:35,390 --> 00:04:36,950 Change can be really uncomfortable. 83 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,510 I don't like, I don't love change. 84 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:42,020 I'll admit guys, if you listened to the show before, you know, I 85 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,540 like my boring, repetitious life. 86 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:48,200 I eat the same foods, I go to the same places because it's comfortable. 87 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:51,860 It doesn't make change bad, it's just annoying. 88 00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,770 There's nothing wrong with a little discomfort. 89 00:04:55,280 --> 00:05:00,320 Focus on growing yourself and it will help make change less disturbing 90 00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:04,100 and feel less like it's causing things to spiral out of control. 91 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,355 because the more you develop yourself, the more control you're gonna 92 00:05:07,355 --> 00:05:08,495 feel like you have in your life. 93 00:05:08,585 --> 00:05:12,125 Anyway, so this one, we gotta kick it to the curb. 94 00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:12,395 Guys. 95 00:05:12,635 --> 00:05:15,965 2023 is incredibly just right around the corner. 96 00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:19,374 We just hit the beginning of November and it's right there. 97 00:05:19,374 --> 00:05:21,684 So two months, guys, this one's gotta go. 98 00:05:22,434 --> 00:05:25,914 Number three, the grass is always greener mindset. 99 00:05:26,334 --> 00:05:28,874 This mindset expresses to itself usually in two. 100 00:05:29,649 --> 00:05:32,679 The first is daydreaming for things that we don't have. 101 00:05:33,369 --> 00:05:35,049 And this isn't always bad. 102 00:05:35,049 --> 00:05:42,489 This can be inspiring and motivate you to grow and to change to become better, or 103 00:05:42,849 --> 00:05:47,379 this can actually simply make you envious and become bitter about the things that 104 00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:49,449 other people see have that you don't. 105 00:05:50,439 --> 00:05:55,029 So it's kind of this double edged sword, but the one that most men often 106 00:05:55,029 --> 00:05:58,209 struggle with is the good old glory days. 107 00:05:59,244 --> 00:06:03,894 We dream of simpler times with less responsibility and more positive feedback, 108 00:06:03,894 --> 00:06:06,654 cuz we usually got that in the glory days. 109 00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:09,914 And I don't know why the glory days are always like college or high 110 00:06:09,919 --> 00:06:13,494 school, but that seems to be where we like to go back to right when we 111 00:06:13,494 --> 00:06:17,214 were bigger fish than we are now. 112 00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:21,864 And you may not have been the biggest fish in the pond, but the pond was smaller. 113 00:06:22,284 --> 00:06:26,784 So relatively we think we didn't feel as small as we do sometimes in our own. 114 00:06:27,609 --> 00:06:32,619 Sometimes in our own lives, we start to feel really small in this giant ocean, and 115 00:06:32,619 --> 00:06:35,829 so we start drifting into the glory days. 116 00:06:36,999 --> 00:06:42,099 Well, the ironic part is in the glory days, we were dreaming of the 117 00:06:42,104 --> 00:06:45,549 day when we would leave all that behind and move into the real world. 118 00:06:46,479 --> 00:06:50,532 We tend to remember the good times and shut out the rest of it so that 119 00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:53,802 we naturally later in life only remember the good things, right? 120 00:06:53,802 --> 00:06:54,882 The farther we get from. 121 00:06:55,737 --> 00:06:59,157 We tune out all the bad and gain some understanding and perspective. 122 00:06:59,162 --> 00:07:02,637 So it wasn't so bad to us with the perspective we gain. 123 00:07:03,087 --> 00:07:04,887 And then we only focus on the good things. 124 00:07:05,397 --> 00:07:11,127 And so as life gets hectic, we start going, Oh man, dude, I remember when. 125 00:07:11,727 --> 00:07:15,327 And you can actually build a circle of friends that will perpetuate 126 00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:19,407 this mental safe for you, this mindset, and that's not healthy. 127 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,688 The grass is greener, is a lie. 128 00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:23,427 We tell ourselves to escape how we're feeling. 129 00:07:23,427 --> 00:07:24,347 Right now. 130 00:07:25,427 --> 00:07:27,702 Until you get your head in the right space, the grass will 131 00:07:27,702 --> 00:07:28,932 always be greener somewhere else. 132 00:07:28,932 --> 00:07:30,492 Guys, it's just a fact. 133 00:07:31,632 --> 00:07:32,712 It's a perspective issue. 134 00:07:32,772 --> 00:07:36,132 Until you get your mindset right, you'll always see the 135 00:07:36,132 --> 00:07:37,662 grass greener somewhere else. 136 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:40,130 Whether that's in somewhere where you dream of being or 137 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:41,330 somewhere where you've been. 138 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,890 You'll always be somewhere wishing you were somewhere else. 139 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,310 And unfortunately, if you don't learn to be in the present right there, 140 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,440 you'll miss the best parts of your. 141 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:55,175 Because being present in the moment is way more powerful and 142 00:07:55,175 --> 00:08:00,005 way more rewarding than the glory days or the grass somewhere else. 143 00:08:00,365 --> 00:08:03,635 Learn to be present now and just decide that you'll fertilize the crap 144 00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:05,105 outta the grass, wherever you are. 145 00:08:05,135 --> 00:08:05,465 Okay? 146 00:08:05,855 --> 00:08:06,905 Build new memories. 147 00:08:07,715 --> 00:08:10,565 Build the person you want to be, and just make now the most 148 00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:12,545 amazing time you can do it. 149 00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:13,595 I believe in you. 150 00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:19,505 Number four, it has to be perfect, guys. 151 00:08:19,505 --> 00:08:21,035 Perfectionism will prevent you from. 152 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:26,225 Wherever you want to be in business, in relationships, in personal 153 00:08:26,225 --> 00:08:28,145 development, hobbies, and anywhere else. 154 00:08:29,105 --> 00:08:33,485 Perfectionism is one of the greatest lies we ever tell ourselves, and it's 155 00:08:33,485 --> 00:08:38,675 also one of the things that handicaps more people in succeeding in life. 156 00:08:39,155 --> 00:08:42,545 It ends more potential greatness than most things ever will. 157 00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:48,125 More ideas, inventions, and performances never see the light of day because. 158 00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:50,480 It's not quite perfect yet. 159 00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:52,520 I love the old meme. 160 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:58,520 Back when memes were comics in newspapers, I know I'm dating myself here, but it was 161 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,720 a picture of female skeletons sitting on a couch, or sorry, not sitting on the couch, 162 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:07,520 sitting on a park bench with the caption, still waiting for the perfect man. 163 00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,760 Guys, perfection doesn't exist. 164 00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:11,660 It really doesn't. 165 00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:12,740 There's always a flaw. 166 00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,250 People will always find something wrong with their own ideas. 167 00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:19,775 Give it your best and then let it loose. 168 00:09:20,765 --> 00:09:25,025 You'll learn more from that than you will ever achieve in the early concepts of your 169 00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:27,065 work until you actually put it out there. 170 00:09:28,055 --> 00:09:29,465 You can't refine it to its best day. 171 00:09:29,470 --> 00:09:32,075 Anyways, start messy. 172 00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:33,155 Be proud of it. 173 00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:37,505 One day you'll look back and see how very far you've come from 174 00:09:37,505 --> 00:09:42,155 where you started, and you will be amazed at what happened when you 175 00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:43,835 finally just turned the ideal loose. 176 00:09:43,895 --> 00:09:45,845 Are the thing loose and let it. 177 00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:51,815 Now guys, we've been going through the nine mindset changes to make before 2023. 178 00:09:51,815 --> 00:09:53,885 So far we've kept off five. 179 00:09:54,815 --> 00:09:58,595 In the second half of the show, we're gonna crush the other four and 180 00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,845 we're rolling through the show fast, so it's gonna be a short episode. 181 00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:02,255 So hey, congratulations. 182 00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:03,395 You might make it to the end of it. 183 00:10:03,635 --> 00:10:05,855 We're gonna roll to our sponsors and we will be right back. 184 00:10:06,395 --> 00:10:11,465 I'm calling on All men right now to stand up and stand against this horrific. 185 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:16,280 It is estimated over 300,000 children are being sex trafficked in the 186 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,380 United States alone every single day. 187 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,240 I want you to get on your social media. 188 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,380 I want you to follow savinginnocence.org or fightforme.net. 189 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:29,300 Both these charities are working to end child trafficking in 190 00:10:29,305 --> 00:10:30,800 the United States and abroad. 191 00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:37,140 You can donate at www.thefallibleman.com/shop and 192 00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:41,360 buy our end human trafficking merchandise and all proceeds will. 193 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,875 Given indefinitely to savinginnocence.org, you can also go 194 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:53,255 to www.savinginnocence.org/donate and donate directly to Saving Innocence Men. 195 00:10:53,255 --> 00:10:57,845 It is time for us to fight and stop this horrible thing known as human trafficking. 196 00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:58,595 Guys, welcome back. 197 00:10:58,595 --> 00:11:01,925 We're here discussing nine mindset changes to make before 2023. 198 00:11:01,925 --> 00:11:04,385 In the first half of the show, we cover five different mindsets, 199 00:11:04,385 --> 00:11:05,675 so go back and catch those. 200 00:11:05,675 --> 00:11:06,785 If you're just now joining. 201 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,810 We're going to dive into four more mindsets that we absolutely 202 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:14,660 need to crush before 2023 guys. 203 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:17,060 And 2023 is two months away. 204 00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,230 We are right there. 205 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:22,490 I cannot believe how fast the year is flying by now. 206 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,830 Let's jump right back into this with number five. 207 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,770 I need to fit in guys. 208 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:31,070 Being afraid to be different is so high school. 209 00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:31,180 man. 210 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:31,740 Sorry. 211 00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:34,080 It's my inner idiot coming. 212 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,187 One of the funniest observations I've made in my limited lifetime is the her 213 00:11:38,187 --> 00:11:40,257 mentality we all have about fitting in. 214 00:11:40,557 --> 00:11:41,067 Conform. 215 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:41,967 Conform, conform. 216 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:42,597 Yeah. 217 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:49,677 But then you have other groups of people who are non-conformist and they 218 00:11:49,682 --> 00:11:52,200 wanna be individuals and not conform. 219 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:56,446 The funny thing is, the non-conformists who wanna be individuals all end 220 00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:58,636 up just creating another sub. 221 00:11:59,461 --> 00:12:01,542 They all ends up looking the same anyway, right? 222 00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:07,182 All the nonconformists kind of look the same, and all these nonconformists 223 00:12:07,182 --> 00:12:08,952 kind of look the same, right? 224 00:12:09,432 --> 00:12:13,032 We get into this hard mentality and we're like, Oh, we're gonna be individuals, 225 00:12:13,037 --> 00:12:18,282 we're gonna be different, and then we all look the same, and so there's this 226 00:12:18,702 --> 00:12:21,732 crazy need for people to want to fit in. 227 00:12:22,452 --> 00:12:26,832 Now this is high school all over again, so please stop trying to fit in with the it. 228 00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:31,762 Just be the amazing person you were meant to be. 229 00:12:32,872 --> 00:12:34,492 What exactly are we trying to fit into? 230 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:37,612 By the way, keeping up with the Joneses will financially break 231 00:12:37,612 --> 00:12:39,172 everyone but the Joneses, right? 232 00:12:39,177 --> 00:12:40,222 So that mentality doesn't work. 233 00:12:40,312 --> 00:12:43,612 You can't follow the cool crowd because everyone has a different 234 00:12:43,612 --> 00:12:45,502 idea of what the cool crowd is. 235 00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:51,592 You can't try and fit in with your peer, or you can try and fit in with your peers, 236 00:12:51,592 --> 00:12:53,602 but it's really just crabs in a bucket. 237 00:12:54,742 --> 00:12:58,462 The show, American Psycho was actually hilarious because they all wanted 238 00:12:58,462 --> 00:13:02,122 to conform to one image, but were still trying to one up each other 239 00:13:03,022 --> 00:13:05,662 with all of them doing the same exact things to one up each other. 240 00:13:05,662 --> 00:13:11,632 It was a great commentary on social aspects in that way, but otherwise it 241 00:13:11,637 --> 00:13:16,402 was a little crazy . But guys, figure out what you want for your life. 242 00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:17,782 Make a plan. 243 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,147 Execute it. 244 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:19,927 You know what? 245 00:13:19,927 --> 00:13:21,097 Some people will laugh. 246 00:13:21,307 --> 00:13:25,567 Some people will tell you you're wrong or you're crazy, or you're an idiot, but 247 00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:27,427 you're gonna get to where you want to go. 248 00:13:27,967 --> 00:13:31,297 So stop worrying about what the idiots are telling you is not cool or not 249 00:13:31,297 --> 00:13:35,287 your work, or laughing about, and just focus on what you're trying to 250 00:13:35,287 --> 00:13:37,657 achieve and forget what they're saying. 251 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,337 Stop worrying about fitting in. 252 00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:40,177 This isn't high school. 253 00:13:41,377 --> 00:13:46,327 You are a unique individual from your perspective and your experiences, and you 254 00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:48,037 have your unique, your own unique goals. 255 00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:49,057 So go after those. 256 00:13:50,587 --> 00:13:51,517 Screw everybody else. 257 00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,017 Just be who you were meant to be. 258 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:54,817 Number six. 259 00:13:56,197 --> 00:13:57,727 Number six is I'm a screw up. 260 00:13:58,717 --> 00:14:01,777 Beating yourself up over mistakes over and over and over again. 261 00:14:02,347 --> 00:14:03,997 These are people in the world. 262 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:08,078 I wish I could, I wish I could, like I, I. 263 00:14:08,628 --> 00:14:08,928 Okay. 264 00:14:08,928 --> 00:14:12,048 I'm not always a hugger, but I really feel like I want to just hug these 265 00:14:12,048 --> 00:14:17,808 people and then I want to go back in time and just slap the ever loving crap 266 00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:22,878 out of any of their parents or indivi individuals who affected them this way. 267 00:14:22,878 --> 00:14:24,528 Cuz I know people who are like this. 268 00:14:26,178 --> 00:14:28,248 Some of them were parents who did this to their kids. 269 00:14:28,488 --> 00:14:31,398 Some of them were adults who were important. 270 00:14:31,419 --> 00:14:34,329 Mentors, teachers, coaches. 271 00:14:35,879 --> 00:14:39,384 and this unhealthy mindset comes from parents and authority figures. 272 00:14:39,894 --> 00:14:42,554 Just berating young people constantly. 273 00:14:42,864 --> 00:14:44,904 Nothing's ever right or even good enough. 274 00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:46,794 You could have always done better. 275 00:14:47,034 --> 00:14:50,514 Look, I'm a parent and there are times as a parent, when you tell your child 276 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:55,344 they did something wrong or the way they're doing it isn't correct, but 277 00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:57,054 you're careful about how you do it. 278 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:03,234 These parents literally just barrage the crap of their children and. 279 00:15:03,263 --> 00:15:04,049 They feed 'em junk. 280 00:15:04,049 --> 00:15:05,249 Like you suck at everything. 281 00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:07,550 This is the mentality that they beat into these kids. 282 00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:09,290 Verbally, emotionally. 283 00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:11,870 I don't even talk about physical beating, but that definitely happens, right? 284 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:13,730 They beat this. 285 00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:18,590 You suck at everything and everything you do is wrong mentality into people. 286 00:15:18,590 --> 00:15:21,410 And so we get adults who just assume they're a screw up all the time. 287 00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:25,700 Problematically, no one got through to these kids in a time to 288 00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,500 prevent this idea from taking root. 289 00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:33,950 When we then get the mindset of I'm a screw up and everything I do is 290 00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:36,230 wrong, that would be bad enough. 291 00:15:36,230 --> 00:15:40,880 But these people beat themselves up verbally, emotionally, mentally, and 292 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,400 sometimes even physically, because that generally came with the other. 293 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,836 These people just berate themselves all the time and reinforce this 294 00:15:48,836 --> 00:15:50,576 horrible thought that took root. 295 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,016 We gotta get outta this mindset. 296 00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:54,176 Look, everyone makes mistakes. 297 00:15:55,031 --> 00:15:55,511 Everyone trips up. 298 00:15:55,511 --> 00:15:56,231 No one's perfect. 299 00:15:56,231 --> 00:15:58,421 That's why this is the fallible man, because this is not a house 300 00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:01,901 for the perfect people because you don't exist, and I certainly do. 301 00:16:02,051 --> 00:16:02,441 Okay? 302 00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:03,581 Imperfection is here. 303 00:16:04,721 --> 00:16:07,061 You have to learn to extend yourself a little grace. 304 00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:11,231 Try seeing yourself the way a true friend does. 305 00:16:11,921 --> 00:16:12,941 Accept your flaws. 306 00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:14,141 Accept the imperfections. 307 00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:18,581 Remember, perfectionism isn't healthy and love yourself anyway. 308 00:16:18,971 --> 00:16:21,701 Understand you have talents and skills, and you have other areas 309 00:16:21,701 --> 00:16:23,591 in your life that aren't your best. 310 00:16:24,446 --> 00:16:25,856 But we're all that way. 311 00:16:26,906 --> 00:16:30,296 If your best and truest friend wouldn't berate you for the mistake, 312 00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:31,916 you probably shouldn't either. 313 00:16:32,396 --> 00:16:37,976 This one absolutely, absolutely needs to die before 2023. 314 00:16:37,976 --> 00:16:42,326 You've gotta step out of this mindset because it is crushing your life. 315 00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:45,821 Now guys, if you're getting something out of this, be sure 316 00:16:45,821 --> 00:16:47,051 and click that like button. 317 00:16:47,051 --> 00:16:50,951 If you're on YouTube and leave us a comment, or if you're 318 00:16:50,951 --> 00:16:53,741 listening to this on podcast, guys, leave us a rating and review. 319 00:16:53,771 --> 00:16:56,201 That helps us to keep making shows like this. 320 00:16:56,201 --> 00:16:58,181 I can't tell you how incredibly that is. 321 00:16:58,871 --> 00:17:01,571 How incredibly important that is as a podcaster. 322 00:17:02,441 --> 00:17:06,581 Those rating and reviews help us get in front of more people and 323 00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:08,351 help people give us a chance. 324 00:17:09,116 --> 00:17:10,436 It means a lot to us. 325 00:17:10,526 --> 00:17:15,776 And you know what I know for my non Apple people out there, all of my Android 326 00:17:15,776 --> 00:17:20,456 brothers and sisters, yo, I know how hard it is to leave ratings and reviews. 327 00:17:20,461 --> 00:17:26,096 So I actually bought the domain, the foul man podcast.com, and you 328 00:17:26,101 --> 00:17:29,606 can go to that site and you can leave review directly on the site. 329 00:17:29,906 --> 00:17:33,296 And it also has a couple other things like Good Pods and Stitcher where you can 330 00:17:33,296 --> 00:17:34,916 leave reviews if you're an Android person. 331 00:17:36,296 --> 00:17:38,306 Just because I've had people tell me they tried to leave 332 00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:40,046 me a review and they couldn't. 333 00:17:40,051 --> 00:17:42,536 But guys, that helps us out so much to keep doing shows like 334 00:17:42,536 --> 00:17:44,216 this and I am so appreciative. 335 00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:46,544 In fact, I'm gonna share with you at the end of this because I like to 336 00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:51,374 share the reviews that my listeners are generous enough to share with us 337 00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:54,734 are, bless us with, and so we'll get into that at the end of the show. 338 00:17:55,184 --> 00:17:57,764 Number seven, I come last. 339 00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:03,434 This mindset is about sacrificing for others. 340 00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:11,819 As men, we tend to think of selflessness as a noble and like heroic thing, 341 00:18:12,599 --> 00:18:16,709 and in certain situations it is for sure we're taught this, sacrificing 342 00:18:16,714 --> 00:18:21,239 ourselves as manly and masculine and what we should do as men. 343 00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:22,409 And guess what? 344 00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:27,659 There, there's room for that In some cases, however, let me put a big however 345 00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:32,939 out there for you guys, this concept spread to every facet of life over the. 346 00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:38,519 It's just the standard go to for men to embrace it never 347 00:18:38,519 --> 00:18:39,509 should have gone that far. 348 00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:43,859 The reason they say to put your mask on first in an airplane emergency is 349 00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:48,749 because if you pass out, you're not able to help anybody and now your liability, 350 00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:51,629 cuz someone else is gonna have to try and risk themselves to help you. 351 00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:56,339 Your noble gesture, gestures actually more likely to cost other people their 352 00:18:56,339 --> 00:19:02,129 safety if you put someone else's mask on before your own in that situation. 353 00:19:02,654 --> 00:19:07,544 This is actually more often the case in a lot of life than the other. 354 00:19:08,174 --> 00:19:11,804 In extreme situations, there is a nobility to sacrificing for others, right? 355 00:19:12,014 --> 00:19:16,223 These are the people we honor the soldiers who sacrifice themselves to 356 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:18,272 protect the rest of their unit, right? 357 00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:19,291 That is nobility. 358 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:23,041 I would never take that away from those amazing individuals, right? 359 00:19:23,041 --> 00:19:27,601 Police officers who and firemen who risk their lives to save and protect. 360 00:19:28,606 --> 00:19:31,246 That is, there's an inherent nobility to that. 361 00:19:31,966 --> 00:19:35,506 However, in most cases in life, that's not the case. 362 00:19:35,506 --> 00:19:42,016 In most cases of life, you're actually by sacrificing your own wellbeing, doing 363 00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:46,486 more damage and putting other people you care about at risk men, by not taking 364 00:19:46,491 --> 00:19:50,176 care of yourself, you're in fact putting those you care about at a greater risk. 365 00:19:51,546 --> 00:19:54,646 Sacrificing yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physic. 366 00:19:57,181 --> 00:19:58,681 It is unsustainable. 367 00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:02,221 In fact, if you sacrifice your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical 368 00:20:02,226 --> 00:20:06,691 health, you'll be unable to provide support and guidance and direction 369 00:20:06,691 --> 00:20:08,611 and safety for people you love. 370 00:20:09,601 --> 00:20:14,011 You can't save anyone if you're not strong in the important core aspects of your 371 00:20:14,011 --> 00:20:17,611 life, which is your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing. 372 00:20:18,481 --> 00:20:20,221 You need those things to be in tune. 373 00:20:20,221 --> 00:20:21,601 You need those things to be strong. 374 00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,251 You need those to be nurture. 375 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,986 For you to nurture anybody else, for you to provide or care 376 00:20:26,986 --> 00:20:29,198 for, or support anybody else. 377 00:20:29,738 --> 00:20:33,608 You have to take care of yourself to be strong enough to be 378 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:34,868 able to support anybody else. 379 00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:37,028 So guys, this one needs to die. 380 00:20:37,598 --> 00:20:39,038 2020 threes around the corner. 381 00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:45,128 Put self care up, move that up to priority list because you're not saving 382 00:20:45,128 --> 00:20:47,678 anybody by not taking care of yourself. 383 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:51,398 Number eight, guys, I don't deserve it. 384 00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:54,878 Oh, this mentality gets this. 385 00:20:54,878 --> 00:21:00,578 This mindset gets under my skin to no end guys thinking that you're not good enough. 386 00:21:02,078 --> 00:21:03,818 This is a huge bur of my saddle. 387 00:21:04,118 --> 00:21:06,158 You were burn born for a purpose. 388 00:21:06,968 --> 00:21:08,498 The day you came into this world. 389 00:21:08,503 --> 00:21:11,048 You brought with you a purpose and a mission. 390 00:21:11,708 --> 00:21:13,628 The world needs what you are here for. 391 00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:16,688 They need your purpose, your character, and your new unique blend 392 00:21:16,688 --> 00:21:19,028 of talents, gifts, and perspective. 393 00:21:19,718 --> 00:21:22,148 Guys, I have to go back to my quote cause it's one of my favorite quotes. 394 00:21:22,178 --> 00:21:23,228 I'm not kidding. 395 00:21:23,558 --> 00:21:27,368 900 years of time and space and I've never met anyone who wasn't important. 396 00:21:28,058 --> 00:21:28,688 Yes, I am. 397 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,698 A Doctor Hoof had fiction or not. 398 00:21:30,698 --> 00:21:33,878 Guys, I told you, this is one of the most accurate statements in the history of man. 399 00:21:34,478 --> 00:21:36,578 The Butterfly effect is actually real. 400 00:21:36,578 --> 00:21:39,998 The choices and decisions you make in life have a much further 401 00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,178 reaching impact than you can actually conceptualize because our brains just 402 00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:45,098 can't see that bigger, bigger picture. 403 00:21:46,298 --> 00:21:47,318 You are good. 404 00:21:48,218 --> 00:21:53,228 Just like me, you may have some areas you can grow and improve, but the 405 00:21:53,233 --> 00:21:55,328 world needs who you were born to be. 406 00:21:56,698 --> 00:21:59,648 Everyone is worth love, are worthy of love. 407 00:22:00,248 --> 00:22:04,598 Everyone is worthy of friendship, of deserving, of attention and affection. 408 00:22:05,618 --> 00:22:08,048 Everyone, I'm trying not to screen my mic guys. 409 00:22:08,048 --> 00:22:12,638 You can't see necessarily how, like, on my face, how bothered I am. 410 00:22:12,638 --> 00:22:16,988 This one gets me so, so, so worked up You. 411 00:22:18,443 --> 00:22:23,213 Are worthy of love, honor, friendship, attention and affection. 412 00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,253 Everyone is. 413 00:22:25,853 --> 00:22:28,523 So, start showing yourself some self respect and loving yourself. 414 00:22:29,093 --> 00:22:33,533 You're worthy of so much more than that, but you have to start with you. 415 00:22:33,563 --> 00:22:36,713 You have to start with you respecting yourself and you loving yourself. 416 00:22:37,103 --> 00:22:41,003 Let this horrible mindset die before we get to 2020. 417 00:22:42,638 --> 00:22:44,498 So you can start strong in the new year. 418 00:22:44,708 --> 00:22:47,588 Guys, if no one else has told you, I believe in you, 419 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,748 I know you're worthy of that. 420 00:22:50,708 --> 00:22:53,468 If no one else says it today, I am in your corner. 421 00:22:53,948 --> 00:22:56,138 I believe you are that worthy. 422 00:22:56,198 --> 00:22:57,878 I believe you are that amazing. 423 00:22:59,108 --> 00:23:03,518 Now guys, if you're stuck in that area or in these mindsets, let 424 00:23:03,518 --> 00:23:07,238 me invite you to register for the Phoenix Conference, Man, on a mission. 425 00:23:07,898 --> 00:23:08,798 It's a live event. 426 00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:11,018 We do both in person and virtual. 427 00:23:12,173 --> 00:23:15,923 I believe what I am saying so much that this is the focus of this 428 00:23:15,923 --> 00:23:19,013 year's event, Man, on a mission. 429 00:23:19,283 --> 00:23:24,893 You have a purpose and the world needs you to seek that purpose for you to live. 430 00:23:24,893 --> 00:23:26,033 For your Talos. 431 00:23:26,633 --> 00:23:29,003 Your life will be more fulfilling, you'll be happier. 432 00:23:29,243 --> 00:23:33,487 Yours and mine aren't necessarily the same, but hopefully in this event we're 433 00:23:33,487 --> 00:23:35,077 trying to help you have the tools you. 434 00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:38,917 And the direction you need to find what your tails is and 435 00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:40,267 what your purpose is all about. 436 00:23:40,957 --> 00:23:47,227 So guys, that's you can go to www.thefallman.com/the Phoenix and 437 00:23:47,227 --> 00:23:51,367 register for that event early where pricing's going on right now, and I highly 438 00:23:51,367 --> 00:23:53,077 invite you to come be a part of that. 439 00:23:53,377 --> 00:23:56,737 Our virtual game's pretty good, even if you can't come to Central Washington. 440 00:23:57,157 --> 00:23:58,477 So be sure and check that out. 441 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:03,457 Now guys, I wanna shout out our listeners because like I said, your reviews, 442 00:24:03,697 --> 00:24:05,167 taking the time to actually do that for. 443 00:24:06,457 --> 00:24:08,977 Means so much to us and helps us to do these shows. 444 00:24:09,637 --> 00:24:15,367 So one of our listeners, JT Allen, posted this five star review, The Help. 445 00:24:15,367 --> 00:24:20,467 We need a very well structured show that I always look forward to, well thought 446 00:24:20,467 --> 00:24:26,857 out, well vetted, , well vetted guest and super important messages, and a world 447 00:24:26,862 --> 00:24:28,327 that doesn't have a lot of support from. 448 00:24:29,407 --> 00:24:31,687 Try who For men who are trying to be better. 449 00:24:31,957 --> 00:24:33,367 This is the podcast we need. 450 00:24:33,607 --> 00:24:34,057 Jt. 451 00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:35,547 Thank you so much, brother. 452 00:24:35,617 --> 00:24:39,547 I'm grateful that you took the time to review our podcast. 453 00:24:39,558 --> 00:24:41,068 It really does mean a lot to us. 454 00:24:41,578 --> 00:24:45,178 I get emails every time I get a review and it just picks my spirits up. 455 00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:46,438 It makes my day better. 456 00:24:46,978 --> 00:24:51,268 You affect me in a positive way, and it really means a 457 00:24:51,268 --> 00:24:52,618 lot to me when you share that. 458 00:24:53,578 --> 00:24:57,658 Really enjoy the podcast and it means something to you as well, because that 459 00:24:57,658 --> 00:24:59,638 is my goal, is to serve you in that way. 460 00:25:00,178 --> 00:25:05,938 If you wanna support us, you can leave a review or a rating on Apple Podcast. 461 00:25:06,358 --> 00:25:09,069 But guys, if you're not sure where to do it like I said, for my Android 462 00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:14,379 family out there, you can go to www.thefalliblemanpodcast.com. 463 00:25:14,949 --> 00:25:17,079 We have a separate website just for the podcast, and you 464 00:25:17,079 --> 00:25:18,189 can actually rate and review. 465 00:25:18,189 --> 00:25:19,159 Is there as. 466 00:25:19,839 --> 00:25:21,099 Guys, I am so grateful. 467 00:25:21,099 --> 00:25:23,949 Thank you for spending the time to listen to this crazy man rant. 468 00:25:24,819 --> 00:25:26,259 I believe in you. 469 00:25:27,069 --> 00:25:30,369 You need to kick these mindsets because I wanna see you live your best life. 470 00:25:31,089 --> 00:25:34,509 I believe in you that much that we need you to achieve. 471 00:25:34,509 --> 00:25:35,139 Your tails, guys. 472 00:25:36,624 --> 00:25:38,214 Thanks for taking the time and hang out with us. 473 00:25:38,514 --> 00:25:41,934 Be better tomorrow because of what you do today and we'll see you on the next one. 474 00:25:42,624 --> 00:25:45,114 This has been the Fable Man Podcast. 475 00:25:45,714 --> 00:25:49,104 Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. 476 00:25:49,884 --> 00:25:52,164 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 477 00:25:53,034 --> 00:25:59,394 Head over to www.thefableman.com for more content and get 478 00:25:59,394 --> 00:26:00,894 your own fallible man gear.