Midlife Success Strategies! In this special "Ask Me Anything" episode of the Driven to Thrive broadcast, Brent Dowlen tackles real-life questions submitted directly by listeners, diving into topics like balancing work, family, and health, overcoming guilt about wanting more from life, breaking through procrastination, reconnecting with your spouse, and discovering your true purpose.

Send us a text

Midlife Success Strategies! In this special "Ask Me Anything" episode of the Driven to Thrive broadcast, Brent Dowlen tackles real-life questions submitted directly by listeners, diving into topics like balancing work, family, and health, overcoming guilt about wanting more from life, breaking through procrastination, reconnecting with your spouse, and discovering your true purpose.

Brent doesn't hold back as he provides straightforward, no-BS strategies that will empower you to reclaim your energy, sharpen your focus, and reignite your sense of purpose. If you've ever felt stuck despite having everything society says should make you happy—the family, career, and home—this episode will help you find clarity and direction.

From practical methods like block scheduling to the deeper work of intentionally nurturing relationships and recognizing your life's true calling, Brent offers wisdom drawn from his personal experiences and extensive conversations with successful entrepreneurs and experts.
Don’t miss the powerful advice shared here, and be sure to leave a comment letting Brent know if you enjoyed this format and want to see more Ask Me Anything episodes!

✅ Check out more resources and connect directly with Brent at: https://purposedrivenmen.com

🔔 Subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs to hear these answers!

Sponsors:
My Pillow
Free MyPillow Promo Code "THRIVE" for up to 80% off your entire order at MyPillow!   

Get up to 80% off EVERYTHING at MyPillow with promo code "THRIVE"! We are proudly sponsored by MyPillow offers quality products at affordable prices. Use the code for savings on sheets, pillows, slippers, and more. Shop 250+ American-made items and support both the podcast and a great company. Enjoy the comfort and savings today! 🥳
www.mypillow.com/thrive


Support our podcast:
Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thefallibleman
Buy us a Coffee! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/thefallibleman

S06E012 of the Driven 2 Thrive Broadcast

DISCLAIMER: Links included in this description might be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide I may receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to you, and I appreciate your support!

Support the show

Midlife Success Strategies: How to Reclaim Energy, Focus & Purpose

Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] You've hit every milestone. Great job, solid family, comfortable home, yet you wake up each morning feeling a little bit empty and a little bit stuck. Well, in today's episode, we're cutting through all the guilt and all the burnout of midlife success, and I'm handing you some no BS quick win strategies to reclaim your energy, your focus, and your purpose starting right now.

So I was sent the question, how do you find balance between work, family, and health? And I'd love to tell you there's some grand crazy guru kind of answer to this, but gentlemen and ladies, if you're listening to. The honest answer to this question is, is very simply to get organized. It's about getting organized in your schedule and prioritizing things to find that balance, because there's not anything [00:01:00] that is actually true balance.

What you're gonna find is in your life, you will have seasons of focus, depending on what is your top priority to make sure that you are. Being a good husband, being a good father, taking care of your health, taking care of all the other things in your life that are very important to you, but aren't the focus of that season, you have to be incredibly organized.

Now I've done extensive shows on time management and one of the most valuable things I've found in my life is something called Block Scheduling. It is not the end all sale of time management, but I've talked to numerous amounts of very successful entrepreneurs over the years on this show, and all of the ones I've talked to actually have this one thing in common with me.

That's, we [00:02:00] all use block scheduling, at least to some extent in our time management systems. We talk actually extensively about the fact that we block schedule time for our children, for our spouses, and for working out and things like that. So that is the great key. There is no such thing as true balance.

There is. What is the focus and purpose of this season? Of your life. And then there are time management systems like block scheduling to make sure that you are taking care of the other things that are important to you in life. Because those things, if you don't plan for them, you will absolutely lose touch in them.

And that's as close to balance as you're going to get. The most successful people in the world aren't balanced. They're focused on their priority. They also start their calendar with making sure that they're [00:03:00] non-negotiables, which for some people that's family may or may not be for you, but like my children, my wife, those are non-negotiables.

I'm actually really bad about being negotiable on taking care of my health sometimes is something I'm working on. So everybody I know who's very successful is hyper-focused and it seems like they're not, life is not balanced. But to counter that. They schedule in the non-negotiables to make sure that they're taking care of what is important during that season of focus, and that is as close to balance as you're gonna get.

Mike Lindell: Hello everyone. I'm excited to announce the next generation of energy drinks Rev seven. It has no sugar and no caffeine. Instead, rev seven uses go BHB go. BHB is one of the body's primary ketones, and it provides the most efficient and clean fuel that your body needs. It also helps you stay energized all day with [00:04:00] no crashes.

Not only that, it produces three times more brain energy than sugar, which helps boost your memory focus and mental sharpness. It also helps reduce stress and helps balance your mood. Rev seven does all that while being the best tasting energy drink ever. So go to mypillow.com or call the number on your screen.

Use your promo code to save 20% today. I'm so sure you're gonna love Rev seven. For a limited time, you get our introductory three pack absolutely free. I drink Rev seven every day, and I absolutely love it and so will you

D Brent Dowlen: guys. We're a MyPillow household. I have dozens of MyPillow products I use every single day.

I absolutely love them and we are proud to have Mike Lindell and MyPillow is the sponsors of our show. You can go to mypillow.com and use the code Thrive for up to 80% off your order and free shipping over $75. Anytime without any other specials running. Plus, they run specials all the time. For our listeners [00:05:00] thrive, I can personally tell you I love Rev seven.

You need to check out my review of Rev seven on purpose driven admin.com. I have so many good things to say about I had to do it's own, uh, review. So check that out over purpose driven men.com. Now back to our show.

Welcome to the Driven Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men. I'm your host, Brent Dallen, and we help men go from living to thriving, purpose-filled intentional lives, and today is a special episode. Gentlemen, we're doing something we've only done one time out of 355 episodes in almost five years of doing that.

Today is my second ever Ask me anything episode. I have a laundry list of questions. It's a mix of questions that have been submitted through my various platforms like social media, dms. Through my website and common questions that I get asked when I talk to men about what I do or from the men I work with.

I actually have way too many to do one episode. So if you guys enjoy this, be sure and let me [00:06:00] know, and I will throw these in every now and then because I have a laundry list of questions. Now, I have not gone through these questions yet. I had somebody sort this through me by what they thought were probably the most important questions for me to deal with, and.

I can't promise I'm gonna get through this whole list because I don't wanna make a bazillion hours long episode. So I'm gonna do my very best to give you guys answers. Really solid answers to these questions. So we may get through 10, we may get through 17, we may get through three. It depends on the question, but the rest of this episode is completely 100% unscripted.

I just have a list of questions that I'm seeing right now for the very first time. So let's get into this. Question two, 'cause we already answered. The first one is, sometimes I feel guilty about being unhappy with my current life. I have what we all work for, but something's still missing. Um, contextually, I, I'm gonna [00:07:00] assume that means I'm the American dream since that's part of what I talk about here on the channel.

And so I think that is what this person means by, I have what we all work for. But something still seems to be missing. And you know what, I can completely relate to this question because this is a question that I ran into in my own life about five years ago, uh, or really about seven years ago now that started me on this journey and got me where I am today.

I had the American Dream, I had the house, I had the wife. I've got two and a half kids. I finally figured out what the half is guys, the half is a dog or a cat. Since I'm not a big cat person. I'm gonna say a dog, but the half is a dog. I always wondered about that statistic when I read those statistics.

Two and a half kids, I don't know what two and a half is half of a kid is. Well, that's, that's what I've decided a half. You heard it here first, that half a kid is actually a [00:08:00] dog. If you have a needy dog like I do, you understand exactly what I'm talking about, but. I was at that point. I had the house, I had the dog, I had the wife, two kids.

I had a great job that took care of our finances. I wasn't wealthy by any means, but I knew our bills were getting paid every month. I gotta take my family on vacations at least every, every other year, sometimes every year. Uh, I was senior at my job, so I had three and a half weeks of vacation actually get away with four most of the time.

I had what I had been told to work for my entire life. But yes, something absolutely felt like it was missing, and I think that's what I'm being asked about. So if you are feeling guilty about this, gentlemen, is not, I know that you, it's easy to feel guilty because you're like, but I'm here and there are people who are not here.

I know a lot of people who are not there. And as men, sometimes we feel guilty 'cause we're like, [00:09:00] but we're successful. And in this society we're told like, you're so blessed, you're so lucky and you are okay. I'm not disputing that we, if you live in the United States of America, my personal, my personal stance on that is you are absolutely blessed.

You lived in the most amazing. Country in the world. It's not perfect, but it's boatloads better than a lot of other places you could be. And if you've gotten to this point, yes, congratulations. You should be excited about that, but you should not feel guilty for wanting more. It is okay. Take this as your permission.

You certainly don't need my permission, but take this as your permission if you need it to want something deeper in your life. I was very fortunate. I love my wife. We've been married. We actually, when this airs, we will have just celebrated our 24th anniversary, and I'm very blessed. I [00:10:00] have an amazing wife who is my friend, who is my partner, and she's tolerated me.

Sorry. Self-deprecating humor. We all do it for 24 years, right? I have two healthy kids that are, I just, I can't get enough of. I've got a house over our head and I was, I did, I felt guilty about it myself. It is okay because you were meant for more than that. You can have a more fulfilling life and still have those things.

It doesn't make you wrong. It doesn't make you bad. Because you want to do something more meaningful. Doing what I do now, did not subtract from that equation, but it did fill my life with a lot more meaning because my purpose in life is to help other people and to be a teacher. It's what I've always done and every aspect in every professional of my life, I've always been up, [00:11:00] been the teacher or the trainer.

That is where I tend to thrive. It's why I got a personal turn, personal training certification and why I have spent time as a personal trainer. I love helping other people grow and thrive in the aspirations in their life. It is deeply fulfilling work to me. Moving into that did not mean I was not grateful for the fact that I had the American dream.

The fact that I was had a great marriage and kids and it. Looking for something deeper did not mean I didn't appreciate what I had. It was not a disrespectful, it did not take away from that. It just meant I knew that I was meant to have more purpose than just that. And that's okay. You are meant to live bigger.

To live larger, and I don't mean wealthier. I don't mean richer. I mean to live larger. You were born for a purpose. [00:12:00] You can have the American dream and still wanna seek that purpose, and there's no reason you need to feel guilty about that. There's nothing wrong with it. And if you're feeling guilty about it, I'm telling you, shake it off.

You don't need to feel guilty. You were meant for so much more, and the world needs you to become that. And as long as you are not living that you'll actually struggle with this kind of emptiness. So please pursue that bigger purpose in your life. A hundred percent. It doesn't mean you're not appreciative and grateful for what you have, it just means that, you know, you have more in you to give.

Question two are three. I'm tired of being tired and outta shape, but I don't know where to start. Uh, so right off the bat, I gotta scratch my head just a little bit there. Um, and, and that's the, that, that's the question I have guys. Uh. [00:13:00] First off, I'm gonna have to ask if you don't know where to start, it's not from lack of information, so maybe it's because there's too much information.

I, I, I don't kind of know where, um, you're getting that. I don't know where to start from, but tired of being tired and outta shape, I get that entirely. There are a lot of people who are overwhelmed because they don't feel like they know where to start. So the simplest answer is to start small, get up and move more.

We're a highly sedentary society. Uh, less than 7% of the population work out three times a week or more. Like gym goes are a really small, small group despite what you may see in your local gym. Really, people who actually dedicatedly go to workout three times a week or more. It is less than 7% of the [00:14:00] population.

So you're not alone in this, but. As far as not knowing where to start, I think you're overcomplicating things because the easiest place to start is by just moving more. There's something called non-exercise related. I always screw this up. It's neat. Non-exercise related, something. It's called neat, right?

And what it basically is. Is anything that takes movement in your life, that's not an exercise. So walking to the mailbox, right? I had some friends who lived on 10 acres. Their house was at one end of it, their mailbox was at the end of the driveway. On the other end of it, walking, go get the mail. See, that's non-exercise related.

Uh, I can't spell that. I need non-exercise [00:15:00] activity. Wow. This is what happens when I work without my notes. Non-exercise activity, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. You're getting to the point. Okay? That's park at the back end of the parking lot when you go to the store and walk to the store. That is get up and go for a walk and sort of scrolling through your phone.

God knows we could all do with a little less doom scrolling in our lives. That is. Spend more time standing than sitting right. Start there. That is the simplest, easiest. First place anybody can start is to go for a walk. Stan Efforting. If you guys dunno who he is, uh, you can find him on YouTube. Stan Efforting is a monster in the bodybuilding com community and HA Hold has held records in both bodybuilding and power lifting.

He's one of the only athletes to ever hold records in both. And Stan Efforting got into nutrition. Uh, he trains a lot of pro [00:16:00] athletes, a lot of competitors. But one of the great base truths that he likes to share with people is to go for three 10 minute walks a day. And you say, Brent, that's a lot. Three 10 minute walks.

He doesn't like this. And this is very simple. He does it when he eats 'cause he eats three meals a day. So after breakfast, whether he's eating at his house, at his desk, or at a restaurant. He gets up, he walks five minutes in one direction and turns around and walks back, and he does it after every single meal because three 10 minute sessions are far more valuable for your body spread out over the day than one 30 minute session.

Get up and move. That's where you start. If you're tired of being outta shape, if you're tired of being tired. The majority of people need more activity in their life. They may need more non-exercise activity, and as simple as walk, get up and move more, [00:17:00] I guarantee that will help you be less outta shape and feel less tired, and it's a starting foundational point.

Can't go wrong there. It can't hurt you. It does nothing but make you better. Also drink more water because most people are dehydrated and that actually heavily contributes to poor sleep. Okay, question four. And like I said, guys, I didn't see this list at all before I started doing this. So here's the question that was submitted.

My wife and I feel more like roommates. What do we do? Um, right off the bat, I will say I am not a professional. Marriage counselor. I've worked with several and I have several recommendations for those, but I will tell you what I have learned from interviewing lots of relationship counselors and actually doing marriage counseling when I was a minister, is you have to become very intentional about your relationship.[00:18:00]

If you and your wife are feeling more like roommates, it's because you have gotten into the routine of day-to-day life and stop being intentional about your marriage. You see, life happens. Life settles in very quickly. Uh, we go from being newlyweds to young marriage, and life is a whirlwind for the first couple years, and then life happens.

We have bills to pay and real responsibilities and jobs. And so much going on and a lot of times people are struggling financially and you go into a survival mode and you are just ships passing in the night. This actually is a very common issue. You have to become intentional about your relationship with your wife or your doo yourself into this just being roommates.

You have to be intentional about spending time with her. You have to be intentional about making sure you're communicating clearly with her. You [00:19:00] have to be intentional about going and doing both date nights kind of thing, which could be something little. You have to be intentional about intimacy. You have to become intentional about every aspect of your relationship, of your marriage.

Or you are on a very quick downhill slope. If you and your wife are already feeling this way. The good news is it's not necessarily too late, but take immediate action from this episode and go become very intentional about communicating with your wife, spending time with your wife, making sure you are connecting with her physically.

And I don't mean just sex guys, I mean like holding her hand. Putting your arm around her, cuddling with her on the couch, snuggling with her, hugging her, kissing her, talking to her, that intimate connection. Okay? Non-sexual sex touch, that [00:20:00] intimate connection is important. As well as that also more intimate sexual connection.

You have to become intentional about your relationship or you are in trouble. Hope that helps. How do I stop procrastinating on my bigger goals? That simple start. The, the biggest difference between success and failure in, in, I'd say 70% of cases, is the fact that most people don't ever start, right. You're procrastinating.

Pause this episode. Go take one step right now. You see there's this thing called momentum that happens, but for it to happen, goals actually become fairly easy to pursue once you start seeing little wins. But you have to start right now. I know that seems either [00:21:00] a, like a really obvious answer. B like it does to answer the question at all.

Well, Brent, I'm, I'm procrastinating. That's why I'm not starting. So telling me starting isn't ending procrastinate. Yes it is. Get really intentional. Pause this episode. Go take one step towards that goal right now. You won't offend me by stopping this episode. Go take one step right now. That is how you stop procrastinating is you take decisive action.

If you don't wanna stop this episode, pause the episode, find one step. If you already don't know what one little step is that will bring you closer to that goal. You have not broken down your goal and organized your goal. Uh, organize your game plan for meeting those goals. You should know at all times what one small step is, what one small thing is that you can do today right now in this moment to step towards that goal.

[00:22:00] Otherwise, you have not broken down your goals far enough to actually succeed at them, and you need to go check out my episodes specifically on succeeding at crushing your goals. I don't have the title of it in front of me, sorry about that. But go to my website, purpose driven to men.com, or go to Driven to Thrive broadcast, driven to thrive.com.

And look through my episodes, it says, achieving goals like it's how to achieve goals. Like I, I did an entire how hour long episode on it. And if you are struggling with knowing what that one thing is, then you haven't broken it down far enough and you need to take a couple steps back. Break your goals down farther to be more successful at them.

But the answer at stopping procrastinating is start right now. Don't give yourself an option. Don't give yourself an excuses. Don't give yourself a minute to think about it. Start right now. Do something right this minute. Pause the show. Stop the show. Do something right now. That is how you [00:23:00] stop procrastinating simply by just doing it.

Once you start and start to do. One thing every single day towards that goal, momentum's gonna carry you the rest of the way. So start that is the secret. That is the big trick. I know it's not fancy, it's not some deep seated like, oh, advice. I don't do that. The answer is start right now. That's, that's that simple one step right now I'm gonna hammer that to death.

Sorry. I, procrastination drives me nuts. So I understand this. How do you cut off high school buddies that haven't moved forward? How do you decide what to keep and what to let go when you're over? I think that's two different questions. That's weird. Um, I'm gonna split that into two questions 'cause that isn't one question.

So our six question today is how do you cut off the high school buddies that haven't moved on? [00:24:00] Oh, this is painful because there are a lot of us guys who have those three or four friends that we've been friends with since high school and out of all of them, there's at least that one buddy who anytime you see them is like, remember when and go trips down memory lane.

But that's all you ever talk about is the good old days. And that's a huge red flag if you hear the word good old days, a lot are back in my, in the good days or back if, if they are always going backwards. In your conversations because they haven't done anything to move forward and they don't have anything new to talk about.

That's a huge red flag. And those are the guys you definitely wanna cut off. And

I'd love to say that there's some gentle, nice, but sometimes when you cut people off gently, they don't. [00:25:00] They don't pick up on it, right? That's that night you and being nice comes back to hurt you because you don't really wanna hurt their feelings because you care about them. And you guys have been friends, you got a lot of history, but you guys remember that they made a whole movie.

There's a, this climber or something who, uh, fell down this cre or however you say that crevice and got his hand caught. Right. And he hung there for hours, jammed up between these rocks, unable to get away. And finally homeboy had to pull out a pocket knife and literally saw off his own hand with a pocket knife, which just sounds horribly, horribly uncomfortable.

Um, like I said, I'm pretty sure they made a movie outta that. You have to double check me on that. But guys, that's exactly what you gotta do. It's gonna hurt. I. There isn't a gentle way to break with somebody that's been a part of your life that long. [00:26:00] You can try the ghosting technique and just not answer their phone calls, not return phone calls.

It depends on whether they live close by or whether they live a long ways away. If they live a long ways way, it's a whole lot easier to ghost, to ghost them, but if they live close by and the buddy who stops by all the time and, and they're not moving forward in their lives. Sometimes you just gotta cut bait guys.

You can't save yourself. So I was a lifeguard in high school. Uh, little story, right? I was going through lifeguard training when I was in high school, and one of the things they've told taught us was a lot of times when you're trying to save somebody in the water. They'll panic, and if they're panicky, they're likely to kill you in the process.

Um, [00:27:00] I had one instructor who was like, let 'em drown. Pull 'em out, resuscitate them. It's easier. I had another instructor who told me, just knock 'em out. Uh, I have seen firsthand a drowning victim almost drown the rescuer. Once that panic takes hold, they're going to drag you down and kill you both. Um, there are stories of people who have like drowned their own spouses and stuff because that panic sets in and they just can't think straight.

Well guys, that this is the same scenario. You've got that person who is just a dead weight around your neck, who is just. Weighing you down, they're in love with what was, because they aren't doing anything to move forward. And they will intentionally, they may not think it as, I'm gonna intentionally hold them back, but they will intentionally try and hold you back [00:28:00] because they're holding on to what they thought was comforting and good because they don't wanna move forward in their lives and they will drown you in the process.

So. Yeah, you can try ghosting if they don't live close enough to just drop in without those. But honestly, there's a time and a place to just say, look, we've had a lot of fun, but we're not going in the same direction. Best of luck to you, but we're going separate ways. Don't call me, don't see me, don't come around.

You gotta go. There isn't an easy way, just like the rock climber who had to cut off his own hand. It's gonna be painful, it's gonna be uncomfortable, but sometimes the quickest way through is straight through, whether you like it or not. So there you go. Number seven on this punch list. How do you [00:29:00] decide what to keep moving, working on, and what to let go when you're overwhelmed?

Uh, I know a lot of people are overwhelmed what to keep and what to let go when you're over. Uh, okay guys, I'm gonna do my best to answer this 'cause

some people are not really clear when they present their questions. So I'm, I'm hoping this is, I, I'm hoping I'm answering good answer this right guys. But I, I could use some clarity on this question. So. When I'm overwhelmed and there's a whole lot going on, and I don't feel like I can get everything done, I, and I, I think that's where this question's going.

I, I hope that's what I'm gonna answer. So if, if I got your que answer, if I misunderstood your question, I'm sorry. But what it seems like to me is, you know, how do you [00:30:00] decide what you're gonna do and what you're not gonna do? What you gotta let go when you're overwhelmed with stuff. And the very simple answer, at least to me is goes back to we were talking about goals earlier, right?

I know what my goals are and I know what my priorities are, right? I told you in the opening when we were talking about, uh, balancing family and work and stuff like that, right? Finding that balance. I live life by my calendar. So my calendar starts with non-negotiables. I have a couple non-negotiables that are blocked hard on my calendar.

Nothing else happens during that time, right? So that's where my calendar starts. My calendar then follows the priorities based on. My commitments 'cause I'm big into keeping my word [00:31:00] and based on my big goals, what I'm trying to do, right? These are the five or six large goals I'm working on this year or this six month period.

Everything else that goes on my calendar has to serve those goals. If it doesn't fall into that priority list of those non-negotiables. Of being the father and husband I want to be, which is Nongo Nego, which is high on my priority list, right? If it doesn't serve one of my bigger goals, which is being a good husband, being a good father, uh, and the other goals I have set, those goals will always exist, right?

So I filter everything through there. They affect my non-negotiables. 'cause my non-negotiables are based on those. And then what goals I'm working on. And so I'll get to a day where I have way too much to do, and that happens all the time. I frequently find more stuff on [00:32:00] my calendar than I actually have hours for in the day.

And I work some pretty long days. And. When I'm overwhelmed by I have too much to do and not enough time, I then filter by those, what are my non-negotiables? How does these things I have left impact my non-negotiables? Then how do these things that are left on my list have impact my bigger goals? Right.

Do they align with those goals? If they don't move the needle towards that goal, they go out the window. If they don't solve, provide a solution towards one of those goals, they go out the window. You can start to filter things very effectively. Uh, if you, I'm looking over to my left. If you are watching the video, there's something called goal shielding, uh, or the CEE framework and it's CEE is critical, essential and enhancing, enhancing stuff that falls in the enhancing category.

It's the first thing goes out the window and I boil it down to critical [00:33:00] what do I have to do? And there are a lot of days, guys, where I get towards the end of the day. I'm getting towards time that I have blocked off for time with my family, and if it doesn't fall in that critical list, like the world is going to end tomorrow, I will miss a major production deadline that is non-negotiable.

Like when I release my show, if I don't do this, then it goes out the window. Because I have a clear definition of what is critical in my life, what is absolutely essential, and that's how I filter everything. When I'm overwhelmed and I know that nothing is, not everything is gonna get done, I then go to that goal shielding framework and only take care of the critical stuff and then give myself some grace.

'cause I know I over schedule myself. And I think a lot of guys do, so [00:34:00] I hope that helps. Uh, how do you choose between prioritizing yourself and keeping your word to others? Well, I, I'll tell you right off, that's not even a hard question for me. If I've given my word, I'm, I'm very old school. I believe a man's word is his bond.

And if you don't keep your word, you're absolutely worthless. And so I don't deal with people. If I've told you I'm going to do it, then I'm gonna do it. God forbid I've shaken your hand. That's almost a contract to me or is a contract to me, at least mentally for me, if I have told you. But that's the thing is I don't even have to shake your hand.

If I have told you I'm going to do this, it's getting done. If I gotta kill myself to do it, I'm getting it done. Um, so prioritizing self. I am prioritizing myself by keeping my word to you because that integrity is a critical part of who I want to be and who [00:35:00] I try to be. And so I am prioritizing myself.

It's the way I see it, but that's how I, I keep my word first. That's my word, is my bond. That's the way I was raised. And so if I've given my word, that's priority. All right guys, in our final question, 'cause I told you this list is getting long. Uh, how do you find your purpose? I get asked this question a whole lot.

Now you can,

you can find a lot of resources online that will try and tell you. How to find your purpose. And the truth is none of 'em are very accurate. Uh, in fact, I have worksheets that I have passed out to help people workshop this on, [00:36:00] like at conferences I've done. I do have some handouts that I've handed out to help people workshop this.

Uh, and most of the time what you'll hear is. You list out the things that you love and you list out things that you are good at, and you list out the things that you are interested in and some. Then you list out different things that you are people close to you tell you you're good at, and somewhere in those cross hairs, the cross segments of those four things, you're gonna find some common denominators.

Uh, and, and that is one way to explore it. I have found the most successful way of finding your purpose is easier with age. So for the 20 some odd year olds [00:37:00] who are listening to this, this, you may need to. Try the other options. Um, but I'm gonna give you two options here since, since I've got a wide range of guys listening.

If you are 35 plus, you probably have enough life experience that if you look back objectively at the 5,000 foot or 10,000 foot view of your life, however you wanna say that, you're gonna see repeating patterns. I told you earlier on in this episode that no matter what I've done in my life, in construction, and it as a personal trainer, as a minister in the military, I always found myself in position in positions of teaching and training others.

Uh, even when I was in high school, I spent a year as a teacher's aide. A fourth grade classroom, [00:38:00] and I absolutely loved it. And all of those teachers were heartbroken the moment they found out I was not going to school for, to be a teacher or to get my education degree. As long back, as far back as I can remember, in every place I've been, every path, every job, every, I've always found myself in a position where I am.

Training and teaching others to do a job or to level up or to grow or to work on something that they don't know. That hindsight made it really clear for me that no matter what I'm doing, my actual purpose is I'm a teacher. That's who I'm built to be. That's what I naturally navigate towards and move towards.

So I found over 35 guys you actually already know [00:39:00] because you are a nurturer or a teacher or a leader or a this or, or that, right? There's a whole list of categories. You already know what it is. Just look at the common thread throughout your life and you'll see the repeating process because you'll naturally gravitate towards it on your own.

So that's my advice. If you're over 35, if you're under the age of 35 and you don't have quite as much life experience yet, which that's fine, that's just life, right? You don't have those decades of work or life to look back on, and that's fine. Start with. What you are absolutely passionate about. So I'm, I'm a podcast coach and producer along with being a podcaster.

I work on multiple shows besides my own, and [00:40:00] when I'm consulting with a new podcaster, right? The most basic advice I give people is, what can you talk about till the sun goes down and still be talking about when it comes back up and still be talking about it the next day? Right. What is that one absolute thing that you can never stop talking about?

It's not even a choice for you. Start there and look at how you apply that in the wor realm of others. How do you apply that passion, that gift? In the context of dealing with other people, do you help them do, do it? Do you educate them on it? Do you just espouse information on it? Do you explain it to [00:41:00] them?

Do you actually help build it out for them? How do you interact with other people? Because that is really the more important cross segment you need to look at is what is it that you always. Always, always want to do, love to do, love to talk about, and then how do you apply that to other people around you?

Are you just someone who talks about it? Are you somebody who makes it possible for other people? Are you somebody who trains people? Are you somebody that helps people along the way? And there, there's some more subcategories in there, right? But you need to look at what you're truly passionate about, what you truly love, and if you are given the opportunity, how do you impact other people with it?

Because when you start to look at that passion and those gifts, right? Hope you're really good at that thing too. Then you'll see [00:42:00] how you can impact influence other people. And somewhere in that cross segment of what you truly love, what you're very talented in, and how you help other, how you impact other people with it, how you affect other people around you.

With it, you'll find some inkling of what your purpose might be. Because your purpose is always going to serve someone beside you. It may serve you as well, but it'll always serve somebody beside you. So you have to look at it through the lens of how does it impact other people to start to get that idea, and you can do the whole cross section thing of what do I love?

What am I good at? What do my friends say? I'm good at? You can look at that whole cross section, but you have to add the lens of how do I impact other people with that? That will give you a lot clearer [00:43:00] idea of what your purpose is. Now, guys, I said I would give you the best answers I could without making this episode too long.

I actually have like nine more questions on this, and I already had two more shows worth of note of questions written out. If you guys enjoyed these, ask me anything episodes, let me know. 'cause I can do these and I could put them out as an extra show or separate videos outside of the podcast. Or I could throw them in on these months where I have five weeks in the month instead of four.

Um, there's a whole number of things I can do, but I only wanna do it if you guys are absolutely getting value out of it. So if you enjoyed this, ask me Anything episode and you want me to do more of these? Please let me know in the comments Sound off. You can leave me a direct message on my website. Go to purpose driven men.com where you always find the Driven Through I broadcast as well as Purpose Driven Men.

PO Blog [00:44:00] and many, many other assets go there. You're gonna find that there's a bubble down in the corner. That is my, I love that feature. It's something new on my website guys. That is where you can text me, you can call me, you can video call me, you can send me messages. You have direct access to me. Right there on my website.

There's a bubble down in the corner, little video that tells you about the website and how to find navigate it. But more importantly, it is a way for you to connect me. It goes straight to my phone. I get those in. Those notifications instantly. So let me know what you thought of this episode, guys. You can put it in the YouTube comments if you're on YouTube, or you can reach out to me on my website on any of my social media platforms.

If you enjoyed this video, go to purpose driven men.com. For more content like this, sign up for our biweekly newsletter. Like this, share it with a friend who needs it. That is the most valuable thing you guys can do is share this with somebody else [00:45:00] who has some of these questions. Because one of the things I like about the Ask Me Anything Questions is if you have this question, there are other men who have these questions.

Just reading these nine questions we covered today, I was like, yep. Been there. Yep. Had that question. Yep. Already been through this. So you are not the only one with this question, and you're helping other men by adding these questions and by sharing these episodes. So thank you for that. Guys, keep the questions coming.

If you wanna do more of these episodes is always be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see you on the next one. The Driven to Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving. Purpose-filled intentional lives.

Affiliate disclaimer, MyPillow like any other source cycles, promos because of the extended lifecycle of a podcast. The immediate promotion that you heard mentioned in this episode may no longer be in effect when you hear it because you could be hearing this five years from when I recorded it. However, as long as MyPillow is a sponsor of the To Thrive broadcast, our show, our [00:46:00] promo code Thrive is always good for up to 80% off your order and free shipping on orders over 75 no matter what you hear in this episode.

As far as the current promo, thrive is always good as long as my pillows sponsor the show for up to 80% off your order and free shipping over $75.