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Kids in Crisis! | 6 TIPS for Parenting Your Kids in Difficult Situations

We never want to see our kids go through difficult times. If we could protect them from every bump in the road, we would. Sadly, crises do happen, and you’re going to have to dig deep to help your kids through difficult times.
Thankfully, kids are re...

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We never want to see our kids go through difficult times. If we could protect them from every bump in the road, we would. Sadly, crises do happen, and you’re going to have to dig deep to help your kids through difficult times.

Thankfully, kids are resilient, and there are ways to help them through this. As a parent the most effective thing you can do is model how to deal with a crisis and instill an effective process in them.

On Today’s show we will explore 6 tips that can help you as you work through this process with your children. We can’t avoid all the bad things in life, they will experience unpleasant things but with these 6 tips and the devoted parent you are trying to be, your kids will come though it all okay.  

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Transcript

1 00:00:01,050 --> 00:00:05,050 No one wants their kids to have to deal with a massive crisis, but they're 2 00:00:05,050 --> 00:00:06,960 gonna have to, and you can help. 3 00:00:07,530 --> 00:00:11,430 As a parent, it's up to us to repair our kids to deal with these things. 4 00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:15,990 So we have to model that behavior and help them learn this while we safely have 5 00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:19,350 them with us, so that when they're on their own, they know how to deal with it. 6 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:23,190 So on this episode of the Fallible Man podcast, we're gonna go 7 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,870 exactly through how that should go. 8 00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:25,710 So let's get. 9 00:00:27,465 --> 00:00:29,055 Here's the million dollar question. 10 00:00:29,535 --> 00:00:33,225 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men we 11 00:00:33,225 --> 00:00:37,365 dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 12 00:00:37,545 --> 00:00:42,015 being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? 13 00:00:42,915 --> 00:00:44,565 That's the question in this podcast. 14 00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:46,200 We'll help you with those answers. 15 00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:49,410 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 16 00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:50,940 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 17 00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,800 You're home for all things, man, husband, and father. 18 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,090 Big shout out to Fallible Nation. 19 00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:56,220 A warm welcome to our first time listeners. 20 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,680 My name is Brent and I am the fallible man. 21 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,650 We never wanna see our kids go through difficult times. 22 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,720 If we could protect them from every bump in the road, we would, sadly, crisis do 23 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,070 happen, and you're gonna have to dig deep to help your kids through difficult times. 24 00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:13,300 Thankfully, kids are really resilient. 25 00:01:13,765 --> 00:01:15,525 There are ways to help them through this. 26 00:01:15,615 --> 00:01:19,515 So I want you to consider trying these six methods to help 27 00:01:19,515 --> 00:01:21,135 your family cope with crisis. 28 00:01:21,855 --> 00:01:23,175 Number one is don't hide it. 29 00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:28,095 Kids are so much smarter than we often give 'em credit for when things are 30 00:01:28,095 --> 00:01:31,335 going wrong in our world, they know it. 31 00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:34,035 I mean, don't, don't pretend they, they get it. 32 00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:36,945 Sometimes they're aware of it before we are. 33 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:40,995 The problem is the things they don't understand can be puzzling and scary. 34 00:01:42,105 --> 00:01:47,940 Some kids, Can tend to over worry making the situation seem even worse to them. 35 00:01:48,929 --> 00:01:53,009 Here's where it's smart to let them in on it when it's happening, but in terms 36 00:01:53,009 --> 00:01:57,330 they understand it's okay to tell them the basics like mommy's sick, but she'll 37 00:01:57,335 --> 00:01:59,910 be fine without giving too much detail. 38 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,300 This allows 'em to put a name on what's happening around them, 39 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,890 which makes them feel safer and more secure with what's going on. 40 00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:09,120 And that's a good start. 41 00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,100 Number two, you need to set. 42 00:02:12,555 --> 00:02:16,315 Here's where having kids know what's going on can prove challenging. 43 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:21,465 Children tend to personalize things and internalize it, so they might 44 00:02:21,465 --> 00:02:26,115 think it's their fault when something bad is going on, because that's just 45 00:02:26,175 --> 00:02:27,525 the world from their perspective. 46 00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:31,575 Here's where you need to step in as a parent and set some firm boundaries. 47 00:02:32,565 --> 00:02:35,475 This is a problem, but it's not their problem. 48 00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:36,615 It's not their fault. 49 00:02:36,975 --> 00:02:39,585 It's not theirs to worry about or to solve. 50 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:42,750 It's not them. 51 00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:45,270 What's going on is outside of their control. 52 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:48,780 You have to help them understand they're not responsible for fixing it. 53 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,610 Number three, teach your kids valuable skills. 54 00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:59,280 Kids in crisis will feel the stress of the situation, but may, may not 55 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,140 have the skills to cope with it yet. 56 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,450 Here's where you need to step in. 57 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,760 Help them learn how to breathe. 58 00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:12,030 Or maybe even meditate to find that calm again, if they're struggling, 59 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:15,150 consider counseling as professionals. 60 00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:19,380 Have a lot more in their toolkit than you might to if it needs to go that far. 61 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,100 Or you know, sometimes you just need to have open conversations 62 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:26,460 about how to deal with your emotions and your feelings, right? 63 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:31,890 As parents, we should be modeling those things anyways, so teacher kids. 64 00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:37,500 How to bring down everything into perspective, how to bring down all 65 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:40,019 the emotion and settle into it. 66 00:03:42,075 --> 00:03:44,325 Learning to be calm in the crisis is really important. 67 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:47,325 One thing I usually don't share is how impactful the podcast 68 00:03:47,325 --> 00:03:48,435 has been for me personally. 69 00:03:49,065 --> 00:03:52,035 There's a lot I love and appreciate because I have the podcast. 70 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,615 I become somebody who can approach people easier. 71 00:03:54,645 --> 00:03:57,045 I have a better network of people to call upon when I need 'em. 72 00:03:57,495 --> 00:04:01,215 I get to meet new people all the time from all walks of life and all over the 73 00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:05,665 globe and connect with 'em at a deeper level, and I have a voice to do what I. 74 00:04:06,390 --> 00:04:10,020 I'm always put into situations where I'm having to stretch and learn something new. 75 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,020 I've really grown as a person and a professional since I started doing 76 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,890 my podcast, and that was even before my show really started growing. 77 00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:21,089 I hired a company called Grow Your Show, who's our sponsor, by the way, 78 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:22,980 and I wanted to share them with you. 79 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:26,159 The owner, Adam, has one of the very best podcasts for teaching 80 00:04:26,159 --> 00:04:27,570 you how to be a podcaster. 81 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:29,190 I honestly wish I had found it. 82 00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:33,510 One thing that they've done to help me is to bring me to a much larger 83 00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:36,659 listener base so that my voice is being heard around the world. 84 00:04:37,169 --> 00:04:40,650 There's a good chance, in fact that they helped us connect, but they 85 00:04:40,650 --> 00:04:42,599 also do editing and post-production. 86 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:46,500 They can even help you launch and start your podcast, which could 87 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:49,590 really help you in your business or whatever you're trying to achieve. 88 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,200 So I just wanted to give them a quick shout out. 89 00:04:52,289 --> 00:04:55,979 I love to share great people and companies that I believe in, that I use person. 90 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,729 So that's Grow Your show@growyourshow.com. 91 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:03,450 I have a link in the show notes, and if you have a podcast or you wanna start 92 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:06,750 a podcast or you're thinking about it, just scroll down there, click that 93 00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,820 link and go work with my friend Adam. 94 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,080 He's gonna treat you right. 95 00:05:10,169 --> 00:05:13,409 Next thing I want to offer you is to get emotional. 96 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:17,849 Children don't always have a name for what they're feeling. 97 00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:22,229 They feel confused and frustrated, leaning them to act out. 98 00:05:22,935 --> 00:05:26,955 When there's a crisis, it's important to encourage your child to talk about their 99 00:05:26,955 --> 00:05:32,534 feelings, and for you to step outta your comfort zone and help them understand 100 00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:36,855 the things they can't label by being vulnerable and openly emotional with them. 101 00:05:38,415 --> 00:05:39,555 Let them sit down. 102 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:43,965 Give them a environment where you can let them share their emotions, 103 00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:45,045 what they're feeling about it. 104 00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:45,915 You know what? 105 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,365 It's okay to share your emotions, and that will help them as well. 106 00:05:49,935 --> 00:05:54,344 That will encourage them, that will make them feel more secure about dealing with 107 00:05:54,344 --> 00:05:58,965 their emotions, negative and positive at the time, if you're willing to open up 108 00:05:58,965 --> 00:06:00,615 and be vulnerable about your emotions. 109 00:06:01,545 --> 00:06:03,255 I, I try and share with my kids all the time. 110 00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,940 It's like, I'm not uncomfortable. 111 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:07,350 I'm, I'm not comfortable with this. 112 00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:11,940 This makes me uncomfortable, so I'm, I'm struggling with this moment, right? 113 00:06:11,970 --> 00:06:15,720 I have some social anxiety with large crowds, and so I've been very 114 00:06:15,725 --> 00:06:19,800 open about that with my kids so they understand when they see me frustrated, 115 00:06:20,490 --> 00:06:25,050 are uncomfortable, they understand my emotion, which also allows them 116 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:28,650 to deal with their emotions when they have things that are uncomfortable. 117 00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:33,630 The next one I wanna throw out for your consideration is to listen. 118 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:40,230 I don't have a great deal to say about this because you can't go into there. 119 00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:43,620 There are some things that just speak for themselves, but perhaps the most important 120 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:47,670 thing you can do to help your child during a crisis situation is to listen. 121 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,110 Let them talk about anything and everything as this is 122 00:06:52,115 --> 00:06:53,490 part of how they process. 123 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,650 They may not understand the emotion. 124 00:06:55,860 --> 00:07:00,840 You may get the spaghetti ping pong conversation, but let him. 125 00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:04,050 They feel like they're getting out. 126 00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:07,830 They feel like they're sharing and contributing and being part of it, 127 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:14,160 and sometimes they just need to talk to, give them some comfort to 128 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,290 bring the situation back to a norm. 129 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,810 Kinda like meditating or deep breaths, right? 130 00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:23,340 Sometimes they just need to let that chatter go to feel okay about what's 131 00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:25,210 happening around them, and that's okay. 132 00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:29,118 Final one I wanna share with you guys is, Right. 133 00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:31,038 Kids need some normalcy. 134 00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:34,278 Kids need to feel like the world's gonna be okay. 135 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,408 So everybody needs a break. 136 00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:38,058 Everybody needs time to relax. 137 00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,368 Kids especially need time to play and be kids. 138 00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:45,798 So even in a time of crisis are difficulties, please reassure 139 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,148 them it's still okay to do this. 140 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,098 Better yet, go join 'em. 141 00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:49,848 You know what? 142 00:07:49,908 --> 00:07:53,898 Nothing will get you through a stressful time, like going and spending 143 00:07:53,898 --> 00:07:55,188 some time playing with your kids. 144 00:07:55,938 --> 00:07:57,318 It's therapeutic for you. 145 00:07:57,318 --> 00:08:00,738 It's therapeutic for them, and it's absolutely one of the best 146 00:08:00,738 --> 00:08:02,058 things that you can do for 'em. 147 00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:03,888 Go out and play. 148 00:08:04,308 --> 00:08:06,228 I understand difficult things are happening. 149 00:08:07,188 --> 00:08:08,088 Go play anyways. 150 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,498 Your kids will feel better. 151 00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,748 You'll feel better, and your whole family will connect better. 152 00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:19,128 Now guys, I wanted to share with you as I do on the week, a user review user, 153 00:08:19,438 --> 00:08:23,688 I'm, I'm not even trying to pronounce this, they, it's c and a bunch. 154 00:08:24,618 --> 00:08:27,408 Icons, but five star review. 155 00:08:27,408 --> 00:08:28,338 Really great work. 156 00:08:28,398 --> 00:08:30,498 I was so thrilled to listen to the show and learn. 157 00:08:30,498 --> 00:08:34,008 To my surprise, it's a really great resource for men who wanna 158 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:37,338 live a full life, but also many of the tips extend to anyone. 159 00:08:37,338 --> 00:08:42,438 It's not just exclusionary by any, it's not exclusionary by any means. 160 00:08:42,498 --> 00:08:43,548 It's really great work. 161 00:08:44,448 --> 00:08:45,918 Uh, thank you so much. 162 00:08:45,948 --> 00:08:49,248 I wish I could actually like call out your name, but there's no way to pronounce. 163 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:55,203 Your reviews mean so much to us and help us be more visible and reach more 164 00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:57,693 people, and I'm just really grateful. 165 00:08:57,693 --> 00:09:02,223 I never, I, I read these reviews guys, and I am just so in awe 166 00:09:02,223 --> 00:09:03,783 and grateful for each one of you. 167 00:09:03,783 --> 00:09:06,213 It means so much to hear your feedback on the work. 168 00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:07,833 So thank you for sharing that. 169 00:09:07,833 --> 00:09:11,673 And guys, if you need some help conquering your goals or dealing with relationships 170 00:09:11,673 --> 00:09:14,703 in your life and other things going on in your family, we're here for. 171 00:09:15,498 --> 00:09:18,798 We're here to help you conquer goals, build plans, and seek 172 00:09:18,798 --> 00:09:20,118 the life that you wanna live. 173 00:09:20,538 --> 00:09:25,188 You can find me@thefallibleman.com slash coaching schedule the discovery 174 00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:28,068 call with me to work with me directly if you need some one-on-one work. 175 00:09:28,548 --> 00:09:31,818 We're also starting to set up group coaching sessions, so guys. 176 00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:33,008 Schedule some time. 177 00:09:33,278 --> 00:09:33,848 Let's talk. 178 00:09:34,118 --> 00:09:35,468 I may not be the best choice for you. 179 00:09:35,468 --> 00:09:39,398 I may be perfect to work with you, but let's talk and let's see if we can get 180 00:09:39,398 --> 00:09:40,718 you lined up with the right people. 181 00:09:41,078 --> 00:09:42,038 Hopefully that's me. 182 00:09:42,338 --> 00:09:45,458 I'd love to walk alongside you as you make that stretch in your life 183 00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:46,838 to become the man you want to be. 184 00:09:47,948 --> 00:09:50,288 Until next time, thanks for listening. 185 00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:52,058 Be better tomorrow because of what you do today. 186 00:09:52,478 --> 00:09:53,288 We'll see you on the next show. 187 00:09:54,848 --> 00:09:57,338 This has been The Fallible Man Podcast. 188 00:09:57,938 --> 00:10:00,818 Your home for everything, man, husband, and. 189 00:10:02,073 --> 00:10:04,383 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 190 00:10:05,253 --> 00:10:11,583 Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get 191 00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:13,113 your own Fallible man gear.