Intentional Living Tips for Men with Alain Dumonceaux

[00:00:00] What is the most important takeaway you want people to hear today? I think the most important takeaway is to remember that, that we are responsible for every, as, everything in our life, is that it's up to us as men to be the leaders and to invite our family and our friends to come with us on the journey.

[00:00:15] We're all on our own heroes question. The moment that we can start to take the responsibility for that, our life changes profoundly. And so do that for yourself, for your family, and for your community. Alan, thank you.

[00:00:28] Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potentials growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question. In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

[00:00:49] My name is Brent and welcome to the Album Man podcast.

[00:00:51] On the mission, welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things, man, husband, and father. Big shout out to Fallible Nation and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Thanks for giving us a chance. We're honor honored that you're here. My name is Brent, and today my guest says, Alan Duo. So Purposeful action, mentor and host of the Revolutionary Man podcast.

[00:01:13] Alan, welcome to the Falwell Man Podcast. Hey, Brent, thank you so much for having me on the show. I've been looking forward to having our conversation today. Yeah, yeah. We started this connection a while ago and schedules become complicated, right? Yeah, sure do. Alan, we like to start things off pretty light here, so I've got a random question for you.

[00:01:33] Sure. Okay. Multiple choice. At what age did Chinese golfer Ping Gu make his first appearance in the Masters tournament? Was it a 12? B 14 C 16 r D 18. I'll say 14. All right, guys. You know the rules. Don't skip ahead. Don't look it up. Make your guests stick around. We'll get back to that at the end of the show.

[00:02:00] Now, Alan, I don't do huge introductions. So in your own words today, who is Alan dfo? Hey, that's a great question. Thank you so much for asking that. My role here on this planet is to serve people, and I've been doing that in my entire life. First as a professional chef, and then as I've moved along in my career now to serving men who are in need of, of graduating from one phase of life into the next.

[00:02:27] And so if someone was to say, who is Alan? They'd say he's the man of service. And that's what I look to be able to do for you guys today in your audience. Okay. I just, I, you, you're a podcaster. Did you big introductions on your show? I. Yeah, I do. I dunno if it's, yes, I, I'll say yes it is. So what I like to do is do a little bit of research, actually do a fair amount of research on my guests, and then come together and format a bit of a plan and have a monologue, usually about a minute, minute and a half, just to kind of introduce a concept of some key topics that we're gonna do and then get into doing a little bit of enlightening of who the guest is.

[00:03:03] But really my podcast is about revealing everyone's hero's journey or their hero's quest. And so everyone has a story to tell and I like to have them talk, share this part of their life that really gave them that aha moment that changed, that transitioned their life from where they were. And they actually woke up and went, wow, something's hap, something needs to change.

[00:03:21] And so I do a bit of, I do do a bit of that pre prelim and, and I think it's been pretty successful. Had some, lots of positive comments from my guests on, on how the show opens. Well, that's very cool. And guys, I, I highly recommend, if you haven't listened to the Revolutionary Mary Revolutionary Man podcast, so I can slow my mouth down a little bit.

[00:03:40] You ought to check out Alan's show. It's a really great show, especially in the men's world. It's a good place to be. So you guys be sure and check that out. I was just curious of the difference. Like, I, I do my research on my guest, but one of the unfair things is like, I get to do all that research, right?

[00:03:56] And it's like, ah, that, that, that's, if you read my bio, that gives you like this much of who I am. And, and it certainly doesn't mean a whole lot to people who don't, aren't doing the research. So I'm like, Ms. Way do I go on this? I, it, it, I'm not sure there's a right way to do it. I'm just always curious how other, how other people do it, right?

[00:04:18] Yeah, I've heard your show, but it's like, you know, what's, what's behind the thought process? But I will avoid talking shop guys. We, we won't just talk about podcasting. Fair warning. It's just always fun to talk to another man who's in the industry. Now, Alan, if you could have a conversation with anyone in history, who would it be and why?

[00:04:38] And Jesus may be the right answer for a lot of people, but it's something else. Yeah, what a great question. Who would be that person that I want to have a conversation with? You know what, I think I would go back and it would be with my grandfather if I was to do a do life over again. My grandfather was was fairly elderly when I was born and he spoke fluent French.

[00:04:59] And so he had really hard time speaking English. And I, even though I have a very French name, never really took up the mantle of of learning the language in order to converse with him. And he had so much wisdom as I do, as I'm sure you recognize too, Brent, in this sphere. And we talk about our fathers and our grandparents and, and our family that.

[00:05:19] When they're no longer with us, how much do, how much do we think about boy, those conversations? So if I was to go back to a person in history, that would definitely be the first person that I would, that would want to go back and speak with and spend time to really understand his hardship. And once he had passed on, I started to do a little bit of genealogy work and really understanding where we, where we came from, and.

[00:05:41] On that side of the family. My family was here. I'm in, I'm in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. So we're in the great white north here, and they landed on the shores, what would be New Brunswick, you know, in 11 hundreds. And so when they come in that early, the most of the time, the research that I'm finding is that those individuals were all of the, all of the, I'll say the not great people of the world, right?

[00:06:03] That's where the, not just, not peasants, but you know, the criminals, the lesser of society would get out, right? They were on the ships, they're the ones that were manning it and they came over here. And so we have a long, long history on my mother's side and, and that's the grandfather that I'm thinking of.

[00:06:19] I never got an opportunity to meet my, my grandfather on my father's side. But you know, when you go back and you think about all of that history and how did we get to where we are today? I think when we failed to rec, to go back and look at, look at how we arrived and have some, some understanding and appreciation of everything that we have today.

[00:06:38] Like we are doing this today. Because of the sacrifices that previous generations have come who I, you know, I always say we all come from very good stock. And so that's who I would speak with. And guys that, you know what, that's a really valuable takeaway this morning, just right off the bat, I, my, my father passed two years ago.

[00:06:58] He lived with us. My mom and my dad lived with us the last year and a half of his life. And we, we had a lot of chance. I'm very busy these days, you know, I was just trying to launch the fallible man and get it started. Back then, he was really supportive even though he didn't understand all the technical aspects.

[00:07:12] He really loved what I was doing, but I had a lot of times to, I would come home from my IT job and he'd be waiting for me on the back deck. Cause I would get home. My practice was to come home and sit down and drink a cup of coffee and just relax for a few minutes before I started on stuff. Yeah. I missed those conversations and my, you know, grandfather's, I didn't know one of them.

[00:07:34] He died when I was born right before I was born and the other one died when I was. I wanna say 12 or 13. And I would love to have conversations with them that, yeah, especially, you know, I didn't know the one, the one I didn't know I knew him when I was a boy. It would've been really cool to be able to have conversations with him as a man looking back.

[00:07:55] Yeah. So guys, don't, don't pass on those opportunities while you have 'em, because you will get further down in your life and go, man, I, I really wish I could have had that conversation. Yeah. There's just so much value there. Yeah. And what's your favorite kind of ice cream? Ah, vanilla all day and every once in a while for a treat.

[00:08:15] And it has to be sauce, syrup every once in a while for a treat. I'll dip it into chocolate, but for sure vanilla cone all day long. Oh, syrup. Okay. Yeah, you gotta be specific about vanillas, right? Because you got like vanilla bean and vanilla and french vanilla and. Yeah, I just like a nice plain vanilla ice cream, you know?

[00:08:38] And again, like I said, my wife's a huge she likes the hard ice cream. I'm a much, much prefer nice soft serve and ice rich, creamy, you know, it's good ice cream when you're into the soft serve. And it's just, you can just feel the creaminess in it. And cuz there's different qualities of, of ice cream for sure out there.

[00:08:53] I, yeah. And we're not talking like McDonald's, right? No, no, we don't go to McDonald's. See your favorite you know, dairy Queen's, not too bad, but we have a couple of local You know, mom and pop shops that we like to visit and, and give them some, some opportunity. They're working hard, right? It's a short, it's a short season up here in Canada.

[00:09:08] Mm-hmm. So, they'll be open maybe till October. And the one place that we go, that we love to go to does every fall they do a pumpkin pie ice cream sauce serve, like, it's just like eating pumpkin pie. And I just love pumpkin pie, so it's outstanding ice cream. I would be much, much more interested in trying soft serves like that.

[00:09:27] I'm, I'm pretty much exposed to the generic fast foods Dairy Queen McDonald's. It's vanilla or chocolate. That's, that's your options. Yeah. But something with actually some flavor That would be interesting. Yeah. They do a just a wicked job of a, of a, making a, a pumpkin ice cream taste. Just like a pumpkin pie.

[00:09:46] Just phenomenal. That's crazy. All right. Here, here's the one that gets everybody. What purchase of a hundred dollars less have you made in the last year that's had the biggest impact on your life? What was that again? What purchase of a hundred dollars or less have you made in the last year that's had the most profound impact on your life this year?

[00:10:05] Wow. A hundred dollars or less. You know what, I don't have them in the office here right now with me. They are set of earbuds. Yeah. We're on sale on Amazon wi wireless earbuds for regular $69. For like $49. And they're perfect. I take them with me. I like listening to podcasts. I'm a podcaster, but it's a great way to, to you know, to enjoy the outdoors and to do things and just plop 'em in the ears.

[00:10:32] And, and I think it's been I, I didn't have that before. I'm not really big on the, all the cords hanging and, and yeah, these are just, just perfect. So, little tone. I think they're called Butone or something. Yeah. Okay. Little tone. Yeah. I, I, I, I'm right there with you. I wear wired earbuds only when I'm either recording.

[00:10:51] Or when I'm editing, that's the only time I will wear a hard line. Otherwise, the wireless earbuds were like one of the greatest inventions in the last two decades, or how long, however long we've had them. Now it's like, wait, I don't have to have that little line hanging off my head. And the quality of the sound coming from them is just phenomenal.

[00:11:10] And in my younger days, you know, I was a big audio file and, you know, and you know, had the big, you know, floor serving Vegas speakers and the whole nine yards, like the, it was quite, and you had to have the big 12, 15 inch woofer, but Oh yeah, yeah. It's the quality of sound today out of something that just sits in your ear, just, it's just mind blowing for me.

[00:11:30] We had a what, a Lincoln mtx. This is a little like crossovers u v thing, but, and, and Ford makes a less expensive version of it that's just as good of a car. But one of the things that set up, it had a bow surround sound system. Built into it. Like my wife and I could just sit in the car, we get coffee and just sit in the car and listen to music.

[00:11:52] Yeah. Cause it was the best quality sound in, in we had. It's like, oh, you know, you get those really great songs and yeah, turn it up and you can hear all the pieces. We're both big music. People love it and like, the sound of silence, one of the covers of the sound of silence. You turn it up and the, the subwoofer could actually handle the timmons in the background.

[00:12:14] And so you just hear that roll as, yeah. Getting goosebumps. Just thinking about that, Alan, what are you most proud of? Yeah, I'm most proud of the turnaround that that has happened in my marriage with my wife. We went through a really rough period about five years ago. It was, this is my second marriage.

[00:12:34] I had initially married my high school sweetheart and, and almost ended up by losing a second one. And I'm so proud of, of us as a couple, her first for the fortitude, deceased the man inside of me that had yet to be revealed and for me to actually doing that work. And we continue to do that work today.

[00:12:53] We work harder today as a couple. We've been together for almost 20 years now. And you know, that just so much for me just rings rings So true that, I mean, you can be in a relationship and I know that doesn't always work out for everyone. Mm-hmm. But when you have that opportunity and you can actually step into it and into what your responsibility are, and your partner does the same thing, you know, life's just so much so much better, so much better.

[00:13:18] It's amazing. And congratulations, Sarah, and I just celebrated 22 years. She corrected me yesterday. I said 23 an accident. We just celebrated 22 years in April and Nice. You know, it's, it's amazing. If you're willing to do the work every day, it's amazing what you can have. It's, it's blows my mind how many people who just enter into a relationship with no intention of doing the work.

[00:13:42] It's like, no, it doesn't just happen, man. That's, you don't get very far that way. Yeah. You know, it's a, it's a simple mistake that we make a lot of us make as men, right? Where you get we take things for granted, especially our loved ones, and we expect we have these expectations within the relationship and, and when we fail to be present and be in it, and, and sure.

[00:14:04] We'll talk a little bit about, you know, relationships, a bunch of stuff a little later on, but just to, just to say that, you know, unfortunately some, our, our learning ha has to happen. At our lowest moments, it'd be great. Wouldn't it be that we could start learning without that catalyst On the high end?

[00:14:19] Yeah, on the high end, but we tend to think that we need to fall a little bit more. But you know what, once you're, once you're conscious and you're awake and you can start being purposeful in our, in your life, then things do start to change over. And you don't have to wait for it to be the bottom of the barrel.

[00:14:35] You can be a few rungs up. And I think that's the goal for, for, for both of our, our work. Alan, I've gotta ask on as doing the research for the show, what is the Culinary Olympics? Right on. Great question. Yeah. So the Culinary Olympics has been running well let's see, backed through the sixties at least.

[00:14:55] The co it happens in the same calendar years as the Summer Olympics. And what it is, is nations and regional teams around the world meet every four years in Frankfurt, Germany. And it's a competition that's that showcases the skills of chefs. And when the national teams are competing, they're competing in what they would call a hot kitchen, which is an actual restaurant, and they'll have a six course meal, and they get graded by judges, you know, master chefs from around the world who will grade them on their presentation, quality of product, how well their, their team is working, as well as how many meals did they sell, how, how quickly do they sell.

[00:15:33] Obviously these things sell out. And then on the, on the, the other side of the competition is what we would call a cold food. So we're preparing ma food for eight and 12 people in different platters. And so we so again, you're get, you're not necessarily graded by taste, but the idea of what it is that you're presenting.

[00:15:51] So it's really on presentation, the work they would take to be in that you're, you've viewed, done to prepare this product. So it's not like a, I say people think of. Probably think of that. It's almost like the Iron Chef that that's, that's what I was thinking. Yeah. If for the culinary, the, the national teams in their hot food competition, very much like that.

[00:16:11] But there's no secret ingredient. They're, they're, they practice and they're doing their thing. But as a regional team, which is what I pro, which is what I participated in ours was all cold foods. So we had a team of five individuals. We each had different aspects. I did platters for, or food for eight and appetizers for, for eight.

[00:16:29] And and those were my, were my two entries. I was fortunate enough to, to win two silver medals. And so unlike the Olympics where there's only one. Metal for each. You're graded on a point scale. And so if you score within a certain range, then you get that metal. So lots of people, so lots of silvers, lots of golds, lots of bronze.

[00:16:48] So I was really blessed to be able to to get to get two silver metals and what a learning experience about understanding about what it takes to, to, to compete and participate at that level, but also about teamwork, you know, and camaraderie, because it wasn't for my, my fellow chef, peers you know, I don't know if I would've won those medals.

[00:17:09] They helped, helped me finish the, the plates and the presentation and it was such a great experience. Alan, I gotta ask now cause my mouth is watering. What is your specialty as a chef? You know, it used to be Italian food. I love making homemade pasta. Mm-hmm. And making and doing raviolis and cannolis and, and that, but I've really moved over in the last five years to smoking.

[00:17:34] So really like getting into understanding smoking. And at first, I'll have to admit it was a little bit, a little too pungent. And so I've, you know, learned to dial that back a bit, really get, get master that piece. And so anything that I can put on the smoker and, and I like doing hot and cold, cold smoking takes a little bit more skill.

[00:17:53] He's gotta really regulate that temperature. You don't want to, you're, you're cooking it more from your brine than you are from a, from the heat aspect of it. And so it takes a little bit more skill. But yeah, I'd say today anything that I can put on the smoker is is where I'm at. Wow. Nelson and I are both be hungry.

[00:18:11] We love Italian food home, actually high quality. We live in the middle of nowhere. So unless I cook it, and I'm a decent cook when it comes to Italian food only because I've learned to do it and I love to do it. But like finding high quality Italian where I live is. Very difficult. It's my wife's favorite cuisine.

[00:18:33] Yeah. You know, it's a labor of love. That cuisine really is labor of love, especially if you're gonna get into making your own pasta. Mm-hmm. But boy, the reward of it and, and you know, I just love spending time in the kitchen. It's very social. It's, I think that's why I move from doing, you know, homemade pastas to smoking.

[00:18:49] Cuz it also allows that opportunity for me to be social. Mm-hmm. You know, and visit with people and, you know, I have a couple of buddies and say like, you know, let's, you know, let's do, we're gonna do date night at, at my house and, but we're gonna cook the food, so come over earlier, here's the menu. This is what I need you guys to do.

[00:19:05] And, you know, they'll chop some stuff and we get a chance to, to visit and hang out and, and make some great food for our, for our wives and, and enjoy a great evening. So it's just a, just a different way of, of doing things. So I'm, I'm from a very southern family, Southern United States. The kitchen has always been the center of our house.

[00:19:23] Everything social happened around our kitchen. Yeah. We, we'd get together, family get togethers and, and there'd be like a line of people in the kitchen cooking together for three quarters of the day. Love it. We had one Thanksgiving. My, my dad's side of the family came to visit us. We cooked 17 pies.

[00:19:43] Outstanding. It was just, you know, a a conveyor line of, you know, my grandmother's back making crusts and everybody's doing their part and Yeah. You know, we cooked 17 pies cuz we had like, I dunno, 20 some odd people in the house. There you go. But it was, yeah, it's always been the big social hub. I hate my current house because we have this tiny little galley kitchen that sucks to cook that.

[00:20:06] That's, if I could redesign a house, everything would be designed around the kitchen. Yeah, we bought this house that we're currently living in today based on the kitchen. It was a bigger kitchen. We can put three people in it, we can do things and said okay, the kitchen's right, that we're buying the house.

[00:20:21] The rest of it, well, there's a couple of things. We'll fix the rest of it. Yeah, we'll fix the rest. But that kitchen, cuz it's, it's, that's how we live too. Very social to get people around. I think food is a great gathering place to, to really get to know people. Alan, what is something everybody should know about you before we really start digging into the point of today's show?

[00:20:43] Yeah. What is every, well, I was gonna say the Culinary Olympics, but you know, that's that one's gone out of the, out of the wayside. You know what you know, I always was a divisional speaking champion for Toastmasters back in the early two thousands. So I wanted to learn and get comfortable standing up and, and speaking to people.

[00:21:01] So I participated in our local Toastmasters area here and, and won a couple of metal. Couple of medals and trophies are sitting there behind me on the wall. So that would be the, that would be the one thing for sure. Okay guys, we've been spending some time getting to know Alan A. Little bit. In the next part of the show, we're gonna start diving into the problems with autopilot as men, cuz a lot of us fall into this as we go through our lives.

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[00:22:08] Now let's go on to the show. Guys. Welcome back in the first part of the show. We've just spent some time getting to know Alan in this part of the show. We're going to dive into the problem with autopilot as men and Alan going into this. Let's, let's you know, Claire, get some clarity on what we're talking about.

[00:22:25] Okay. Let's talk about the state of autopilot, what that actually, what we're talking about with this, because a lot of us fall into this in various aspects of our lives, and it may not be in every aspect, or it could be your whole life. I know I've been guilty of this many times, so would you like to illuminate on this a little bit?

[00:22:43] Yeah, absolutely. I think, and for me, when we talk about being on autopilot, I really, th I really hearkens back to the idea of taking things for granted or just doing things from road. And I think back of the, used to be this cartoon, I can't remember the cartoon artist, but it was a caption, was this, it was husband and wife in bed and and he had one arm that was really big like whirl worked out.

[00:23:05] And it was from hitting the snooze button all the time. And I think that's how we treat our lives. Like we just treat our lives as this just groundhog Day, day after day. And when we start to, when we start our days that way, and then we, we progress throughout the day, we start to recognize that things aren't really changing because we've lost purpose and meaning for our life.

[00:23:26] And that's really where the catalyst for my work was. And it's what I found in my life that, you know, when things, I started to take everything for granted. My health for granted, my, my relationship, for granted, my career, you know, career started with, with suffer. And when we do that, then what we, we fail to recognize is that we're on this slippery slope and it is a slippery slope.

[00:23:46] And, and hopefully we can wake up before that catastrophic event where it's a job loss. It's, I want a divorce, it's anything, any of those things that, that can come onto our lives. And as men, we can re recognize and wake up from that slippery slope and re and realize that. We need to be more conscious of what our actions are and more, and take more responsibility for exactly what's happening.

[00:24:11] We can, we can turn that in a very short period, very short period of time. I think one of our greatest powers and also one of our biggest vulner vulnerabilities weaknesses as men is our ability to do this, right? I mean, we are made for this century. Men are great at, we compartmentalize everything and then can sort out what we actually have to think about and put everything else on autopilot.

[00:24:42] And we start to do this with a lot of aspects of our life as we go through day after day. You work the same job. My last job I was at for eight years. Mm-hmm. And for eight years I was on, I think two different schedules in that time period. But for the last six, I was on the same schedule. And for those it was, I, I got up at the same time.

[00:25:03] I went to work, I did the exact same thing. It might be a different system I was working on cuz I worked in it, but it was the same problem. So I'd fixed a thousand times. Yes. And so my brain, I did not, one of the great things about it for me was I could start this business, I could start the Fallible Man podcast because it didn't take anything outta me mentally to do my job.

[00:25:24] I, I was just on cruise control. And, but the problem is, while that's a very significant power for men, women can't do that as easily as men can. Our, our brains are just wired differently. Yeah. It also leaves us vulnerable for putting other parts that actually matter. Like that job. There were times I probably could have done better at that job and maybe even like climbed better in the company, but I was just on autopilot.

[00:25:52] Yeah. 24 hour, you know, 40 hours a week. That's, there wasn't thought there if I didn't have to. Yeah, absolutely. And I think some of that happens for, you know, I'll, and I'll stay with with, won't be too big a generalization, rather I'll stay with for my career and my life. PLA path is that. You know, we have these dreams as, as teenagers in the early twenties, right?

[00:26:11] Like I've always, I knew from, from a very early age that being a chef was really important to me. And, and because I liked, I'm in the, I'm, I'm here on this planet to serve. And so I wanted to do that. And, you know, I'm in my mid fifties, so I'm not sure if you remember, you know, shows like the Galloping Gourmet that used to be on TV with Graham Care and, and you know, I, I would rush home, literally rush home cause they'd show up at 4:00 PM pier for us to watch.

[00:26:34] And, and I just thought that was so cool to watch this guy make food and, you know, serve people. And of course he had the big glass of wine and of course, you know, Graham had to go into rehab and get some help done. But he came back and the show wasn't as as exciting when, when he changed it, changed stuff from, but I took, I went from that to, to seeing how that was happening and what he was doing in that career.

[00:26:55] And then, Boy, what it would be like to actually have that as a, as a personal career. And so when you have those aspirations and you're doing things, it's like, oh, that's pretty cool. Mm-hmm. But if I hadn't met this, the one mentor that took me to the, that gave me the opportunity to compete in the Olympics, I would've been pre quite prepared to just float through and, you know, work at any other restaurants.

[00:27:16] I was doing lots of that floating like a butterfly. But when you get, when you find the right people in your life and they come, they come because we have, when you start to have purpose and meaning and you lean into that, then your life has more direction. And when that starts to happen things, things change.

[00:27:33] And, and so I think for me, when I think back to, you know, how we can be more purposeful, I think that's one of the keys is to. The dream may not be the same way as it was in our twenties. How, but how does it, how is it shaped and how is it serving us today? And maybe it's time to reexamine that and, and look at something different or, or approaching it from a different way in order to get that juice, that energy back into our lives.

[00:27:58] What do you, what do you think are some of the potential consequences associated with just cruising through life on autopilot as a man? You know, I think that's where we find out that we, we actually become very weak. We come, become weak mentally. Our mental toughness drops down because we're not, we're not leaning in, we're not challenging ourselves to do anything different.

[00:28:17] And so when that starts to happen, then everything seems to be okay. We get this okay mindset that, ah, life's okay. It's not that bad. And, and so we, we cont fall into a shell. We fall into this place that's of safety. And as men, I don't think that's our role. I don't believe our role is to, is to be into this safe space.

[00:28:39] We are here to create safety for our families and our loved ones, but if we're not prepared to be that one, to step on the edge and to challenge ourselves and to grow, then how can we, when, when the time comes, how can we support and take care of our family? And safety can, doesn't necessarily mean waiting for something to come in and in, and like a home invasion or anything like that, but how about just financially being able to take care of our family?

[00:29:04] How about being able to, to be there and support like you guys are doing, homeschooling, like the, the, the toughness that that takes for you as a couple to do that, plus the career plus everything else on the plate. If you didn't have the, if you didn't have that mental resilience and being able to lean into it, probably wouldn't be doing the things and accomplishing the things you're doing today.

[00:29:24] And I think that's the key with it and why we need to really. Be aware of how it is that we're approaching everything we do in life. Let's make this a little more personal for people. What is the ramifications of going through your relationships on autopilot, whether it's your kids or your wife or, or even friendships.

[00:29:48] Yeah, this is I'll I'll tell you right now, like I, because I was so focused on my career early in in life and while I, you know, great stories on that, I actually have a very distant relationship with my two sons. They're both in their late twenties and early thirties. My eldest son struggles with making healthy choices around drugs and alcohol and then is currently incarcerated.

[00:30:10] And, and I really take that because take while it's his life's choice and it's his path, the part that I played in that by not being there, but not being present by taking him for granted. It really has a bearing on his life direction because the research, if you do any work with research with Gabo Matt's work, he'll tell you it, it is this abandonment piece, this feeling of worthiness.

[00:30:37] And as fathers, I think that's really important as a role for us to let our know that our kids are loved and valued for exactly who they are and to be there and do that. And when we don't and when we don't do that, potentially that's going to be happen. You know, with my other son, he's a little bit younger, three years younger.

[00:30:54] And his older brother, we still talk in that. But you know what, it's, it always hearkens back to me that, you know, cat's in the Cradle song, right? Mm-hmm. And it's, it's, life has just repeated itself. I wasn't necessarily close with my, with my mom and dad, although, you know, we, we hung out when we, when we could, I moved to a, another province over.

[00:31:14] But all of those habits, you know, as I look back, if I could go back 30 years now, in my twenties when I started to have kids, man, I would do things way differently. I'd be more present, you know, and being, and when I mean that, I mean okay, I'm, when, when I get home from work, yeah, it's a long day working in, in kitchens than that, but instead of plopping myself on the couch, like getting involved with them and helping my, my wife at the time, and, you know, helping her with the kids and doing and planning things and being involved with it and talking to them about life and stuff in instead, you know, falling into my own world and my own, and my own stuff.

[00:31:49] And, and then when her and I separated, You know, I went into a real deep depression on it, and I think that's, that's the types of things that happen. We're not taking care of ourselves mentally. Mm-hmm. I can tell you, up until that point, that was my early thirties. I think I read one book my entire life, and after that, Stan, after that, it was like, life things just changed.

[00:32:10] Like, you start to, I think you recognize that what's wor what's happening today isn't working. So I gotta do something different. And how can you be so successful in one part of your life and the other parts of your life just suck. So we can take advantage of the skills that we've learned in one aspect and apply them into other parts of our life and, and really raise that level of how we're showing up.

[00:32:34] I think that song, it's probably one of the most profound songs I've ever heard. Hmm. And I mean, there's been many renditions of it. I think the latest one, I've heard a band called Shine Down, did a cover of it, and it's just phenomenally well done. But I remember hearing that song as a kid, and at the time I just thought, man, that's such a sad song.

[00:32:53] Now as a father, that song is just so deeply profound to me. It's like, ah, the, the pain I hear when I just hear that story play out and that song is just incredible. I interviewed woman crap, I just want blank on her name. Sarah Rose. Sarah Rose works with a lot of high-powered executives, and she's a tantra coach, but specifically her biggest customer clientele is she works with a lot of high-powered executives who went that path and just.

[00:33:29] We powered down and we became awesome at business and, but they forsook so much of their life. And so her practice is really in helping men rebuild those relationships with their spouses that they've neglected while they built their business. It's like, man, I just see this story play out over and over again and it just pains me to hear it.

[00:33:54] Yeah. Well and I was, like I said, as I started reading books, I was really big into autobiographies and you know, I can remember reading autobiography of autobiographies of, you know, guys like Henry Ford and you know, Firestone and these guys. And it seemed like every autobiography I read all had the same common thread is that they were successful in business, but their family life.

[00:34:16] Like that was the sacrifice. You had to sacrifice your family life. And I just thought, you know, when after experiencing what I experienced, why is that the cat, why is that the sacrifice? Maybe, maybe the sacrifices is that I, for, I, I remember that I'm more than just what I do for a living and the sacrifice is that, you know, I, while I give a hundred percent at that, there's a time for me to shut it down and time for me to now do, be dad, be husband, be father, you know, be, be buddy to whoever in need.

[00:34:50] And I think we don't need to have that. And then they were all successful in their own rights. But like I said, when I read those stories, it was just, that thread just went through and I thought, that's just not, that's too high hot, too high a price to pay. Oh, yeah. For success. Mo the multiple studies have shown that most CEOs are narcissist.

[00:35:09] Mm-hmm. Like most people who get to this, those really, especially the really big business, high power, you know, not, not the ceo O like I, I'm the CEO O of my company, not me, ceo O not, not like little c. But like, you know, the high powered corporations and stuff, most CEOs have been found like through studies to be narcissist because it takes a level of singular devotion mm-hmm.

[00:35:36] A lot of times to hit those places which is horrifying. But, but hey, I mean, that's why Sarah has a job now, Ellen, what are some of the common signs or indicators that a man can examine in his own life and kind of tip his hand to himself going, oh, wait, I might be doing this, I might be going through autopilot.

[00:35:55] What, what's some things to watch out for? Yeah, I think when it comes to re first off, I think when you look at your relationship is how, how much are you communicating in your relationship when you get home and you're together is, are you still in two separate rooms but in the same room? Is that happening for you?

[00:36:12] I think is it, is it key? And what I mean by that is that we're such in a digital age where these things seem to take over our lives, right? And I'm off work, but I'm not really, and so we're at home and we're on this darn thing. And so that would be a, an indication I would look at. The other thing I would look at is, is especially if you have children, you know how, how excited are they to see you when you come home?

[00:36:36] Or are you giving the air that dad needs space? Dad needs time? Because if that's happening, then it's an indication that the mindset that you're using as you're walking into the house, Isn't the best mindset. And I think those two are keys. You know, for me, as I think about back and, and doing the work that, that I'm doing, we're just finished, we're just finished doing, reading the book for this month's book of the Month Club.

[00:37:03] And it's sons of the Father you know, by Gary? No Gary Dabby, I think it is. Anyways, it's really eye, it was really eye-opening for me to recognize even more some of the things that I was doing back then. He talks a lot about, about the presence that we have as we come into the home and how was that and, and maybe we're lucky and we work out of our homes.

[00:37:24] And even then when you come outta your home office, how are you and how was, are you are, have you been able to shift that, that, that business mindset and be a bit, bit more presence? And if you're not and you get an opportunity to, you know, commute home in some way, it's what a great opportunity to. To shift your perspective, to turn on a, a podcast that, that lights your heart or to listen to music that that does the same thing.

[00:37:48] Or, you know, read something that read something from a good book that really resonates with you. And I think those are the opportunity to, to change and then decide what is, what is your intent when you walk in the door? How, how do you want to, how do you want to be perceived? What's the thing that you want to see?

[00:38:04] What's that vision of of that happening when you walk through the door? And I think when we start doing those things, then we start to recognize the changes that are in our li that happen in our lives. And I don't know what feels a man's heart more than, than being in the presence of this family.

[00:38:19] Cause I, while we enjoy our work you know, family is is everything to me now. Now, gentlemen, let me, let me be the first to be upfront and say, well, I'm a huge work from home fan and I love the fact that I get to work outta my house. I wish I had an office. I really do. I wish I had a space outside my home because one of the dangers, especially, you know, in, in this role is my studio's right here.

[00:38:46] It's, it's one door off my living room and you know, I have a look a certain way, blah, blah, blah. So I call it a studio. I have the soundproofing and all that good stuff going on, but I'm always at this computer. If I sit down at this computer, it's my work computer. It's the only thing I use it for. And so it's really easy to take work out of this room with me, especially as a podcaster.

[00:39:09] I spend a lot of time on social media trying to promote the show and connecting with you guys out there. I don't always wanna shoot those clips in here, right? Like it gets this old, there's only so many walls to shoot against. And you know, three of 'em are pretty for shooting against one of 'em is not one of 'em.

[00:39:26] The planning, it's got my big whiteboard on it for planning and stuff, and I don't always want that in the background. So sometimes I'm taking my phone out to my back deck or to my backyard and I'm doing work there. That's technically work for me. And so it's really easy, especially at the at home situation for work to creep into the rest of your life.

[00:39:46] It was a profound moment when I was sitting down with my daughter watching a movie one day. She's like, I was like, oh, you want me to sit down, watch? And so I'm sitting there watching it and I'm scrolling through social media and she reaches over and is like, dad, watch the show with me. I said, baby, I've seen this a thousand times.

[00:40:00] I'm right here with you. Like, she's cuddled up under my arm and she reaches over and pushes my phone hand down. I said, do I need to get off my phone? She's like, I, I locked my phone and set it down. Now I'm really bad about just walking away from my phone period, because that just profoundly hit me so much that she took that at, that was probably, she was nine, I think at the time.

[00:40:25] At nine years old. She processed that even though she was tucked under my left arm, I was not present with her. I was not intentional about my time with her, and I was doing work. Yeah. Checking those emails. And I, gosh, it's gotten so bad with the work from home and portable email. I know guys who work out of the office, but they're checking their work email six times a night.

[00:40:47] Mm-hmm. Because their bosses expect it anymore. So I'm not saying we're perfect at this, and there's a lot of room for all of us to work on this. That's why I wanted to talk about this with Alan. Yeah. And guys, we've been talking about the problem during this portion of the show and the next portion of the show we're gonna get into.

[00:41:08] Tips to living more intentionally and how powerful that is in your life, what that opens up to you. We're gonna roll to our sponsor and we will be right back with more from Alan. Now, before we go any further, I wanted to share with you guys, I don't always tell you how much I love joining my podcast.

[00:41:27] Like I passionately love what I'm doing and one of the things that makes my life better as a podcaster is to work with a company like Grow Your Show. Grow Your Show is a one-stop podcast. Do it all. Now I use Grow Your Show for my marketing, but Grow Your Show is literally a one-stop shop. You can record your episode and just drop it off with them and they take it from there.

[00:41:47] It's amazing. If you are interested in picking up podcasting, it's a hobby, or maybe you're looking to expand your business and use podcasting in that aspect, talk to my friends over Grow Your Show. Adam will take care of you. I guarantee it. I trust him. He's my friend, he's my business colleague, and I wouldn't trust anybody else with my show.

[00:42:08] Guys, welcome back. We're here with Alan Duso, and we are talking about intentional living and the trap of running on autopilot. We've been talking about some of the problems that occur in our lives when we let ourselves get into autopilot mode, which is men. It's a strength and a weakness for us. We can, we can do that really easily, especially on stuff that we don't have to think too deeply about, but it's not necessarily always the healthiest choice.

[00:42:32] In this portion of the show, we're gonna talk about the power of intentional living and tips on how to be more intentional in your life. So, Alan, I know this is one of your big areas you really like to delve into. Yeah. So let's talk about some practical steps or strategies that men can adopt to begin living more intentionally and purposefully in their daily lives.

[00:42:52] Yeah, I think for me, the, the work starts really with understanding what our, what we truly value. In our lives. And so one of the things that, that I would re recommend guys do is do a bit of a values assessment on what they feel is a, is a value in their life. And I have tools for that, that we walk guys through and email Wonder, well, why would you start there?

[00:43:12] Because what we think, what we say, and we think it's a bit of an analytical, you know, intellectual exercise, and we see that written down. We see that work done. And then I ask, Then I would, I ask our, our men, I said this, but what do you actually practice? So now tell me, describe what a typical week looks like for yourself.

[00:43:31] And what we inevitably find is that what we say that we value and what our actions don't always align with it. And so the first thing for we get, I get guys to do, is to get into alignment of what they truly say that they value. So for example, if you say that you value family and what a great experience example that you gave to us there, Brent, about, you know, watching a movie with your daughter and being pre being present.

[00:43:56] If we said that I valued my family and sitting down on, on the couch, but still doing work has a bit of a misalignment and great for you to recognize that once your daughter was able to, to bring that forward and then to continue that practice. So sometimes our actions don't always align with what we, we say that we value.

[00:44:13] And so one of the things, once we do that, we can start to put a framework around exactly what that looks like. What these values look like and how you will express them and, and embody them in our lives. And so we, I think values is a great place to start. The other piece that you are gonna discover when we do that work is you're gonna realize that there will be opportunities where you may not be as clear on exactly what it is that you're trying to accomplish in your life or you're trying to, to get done.

[00:44:45] And so one of the things I ask guys to do to help gain clarity is, is to complete the sentence. I'm the kind of man who, and then whatever you put after that, there is. Is a statement about who you intend to be. And I would encourage you to start your day off with that. I'm the kind of man who and whatever it is that you want, that you're doing.

[00:45:06] So for example, this past week, I've had to, I've had a couple of opportunities for conversations that I knew were going to be very challenging for the people that were going to be hearing it, but not just for them to hear it. But I also wanted to make sure that I was in a good place. And so I wanted, so the, the, the statement that I made for, for that day was, I'm the kind of man who, who loves, cares and honors the people that I'm in, that I'm in spending time with and gives that and allows them to have space to be able to express what's true in their heart.

[00:45:36] And so what that did for me is it gave me opportunity to, to really be centered on where, how I was going to approach the conversation and be able to, while I knew there was gonna be tension with it within the conversation, that I also set enough of a boundary for myself. That would, that could allow that energy to flow through me instead of absorb it, especially for the types of guys that are a bit of empass and we take on other people's stuff.

[00:46:03] It could be pretty problematic. And so those, those would be a couple of tips for sure. The other one I would say is that, you know, we really need to get a compass for yourself. And when I say compass, I mean it's really looking at the, all the aspects of our, of your life and, and how, and, and how are you showing up in them.

[00:46:21] And then in my work, we focus on six. We focus on financial, on emotional, physical, our spiritual, professional, and relationship. And so what does that overall vision, how do you see yourself in that, in each of those areas? And when you have a statement for each one of those, I'm the kind of man who, in each one of those statements, you start to bring clarity on exactly what it is that you need to do every day.

[00:46:46] It doesn't mean you touch on all those every day. But you have clarity of what it is that you're moving towards working towards. And I think that's the piece that we missed today. Everything, it just seems to be, we need to have it today, right now in the moment. But when we have life is, life is a, is a journey.

[00:47:04] It's a one step at a time, and we're not going to get from point A to point B and one one fell swoop. And so what does it take for us to get and make, manage each step? But I think if you do those things, those those three for sure, then you set yourself up for opportunity to truly be present and, and intentional.

[00:47:23] I love the I am statements. I didn't, I'm not a manifestation person. Okay. I, I don't believe in manifestation necessarily, but I have learned the value of self-talk. Mm-hmm. Negative self-talk versus positive self-talk. And one of the very first interviews I ever did, I made the statement, well, I'm great in the moment.

[00:47:43] And the guy I was talking to was like, bam, you just nailed it. I was like what? He was like, dude, that, that is such a powerful statement. Did you hear yourself? He said, you are telling your brain this is your status, right? By making I am statements. Guys, you're not doing any hocus po po cuz there's not, like, you're not manifesting your destiny.

[00:48:06] Sorry, I'm sure I offended somebody. You are telling your mind, this is who I am today. This is what I believe about myself, and if you believe it about yourself, you can actually take action behind that. You're getting your mind aligned with your goals, which is very important to tell yourself things. The first time I actually said I am a podcaster, like I stopped in my track because I was still working a full-time job in the IT industry.

[00:48:39] This was something I did on the side, something I enjoyed doing. And I was at my local hardware store of all places and I was like signing a receipt and someone looked at my shirt, they're like, oh, what do you do? Because we were talking, you know, casually, should they help me? Like I bought some paint or something and I'm signing my credit card receipt.

[00:48:58] I'm like, oh, I'm a podcaster. And like it was a mic drop moment for me. Like I just stopped and they, you know, they jumped on. They're like, oh, that's really cool. You know, I'm, but like this mic dropped in my head and I heard myself say it out loud. This is who I am. This is what I, I don't like to use the word identify with, especially in the modern cultures these days.

[00:49:24] Yeah. But this is, men really identify our work a lot of times as part of who we are as a very defining trait of who we are. Mm-hmm. That's when I knew that I was making this mental shift of, I. It's like, oh no, like my brain has said, this is who I am now. This is, yeah. I'm no longer an IT guy. I'm a podcaster.

[00:49:44] Yeah. And, and that was just like this moment for me, and it was that powerful I am statement that that gives you permission, guys, that gives you the power to move in that direction. Yeah. Now I, I use time blocking. Have you, are you I use time blocking as something that I become very big in with my schedule because of that interaction with my kid and stuff like that.

[00:50:13] So I use time blocking. And when I'm in that time, and if you guys aren't familiar with this as, as style of scheduling, but when I'm in a time period that's blocked out for this, that's where I'm at. If I'm in a time block with my kids and yes, I actually schedule time with my children. Mm-hmm. And I highly recommend it, gentlemen.

[00:50:32] I highly recommend it. Make them a priority and let them see that they are a priority. By blocking out time on your schedule, just for them, nothing else interrupts that time. Block out time for your spouse. Make that clear. The other night my wife and I were doing something, I was like, well, it's date night.

[00:50:50] She was like, it is. I was like, it's on my calendar. It says date night, so what do you wanna do? She's like, well, we gotta do this. I said, yeah, no, it's date night so they can kiss my butt. I don't care. Now we're on the schedule because I had somebody else asking about my time. It was like, no, it's date and night.

[00:51:10] Yeah. And having that set there, guys, it, it communicates to the people you care about, that they're important. So, I'm a big fan of time blocking, being in that moment. When I'm working on, you know, producing a show, that's what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I just love that idea. And we do, I started using time blocking last year when I discovered it, and it was another one of the books in a month.

[00:51:31] And the guys really bought really like the i that idea. And, and then you're talking about date night. So, again, one we, tonight's actually date night for us, but it's my wife's choice, so every other Friday mm-hmm. We leave two Fridays open. Cause like I said, we like to socialize and have people over. So this particular Friday tonight happens to be her choice and the, and the, and the only stipulation is, is that whatever that other, whatever that person plans for us to do, then we're, we agree to, to do it.

[00:52:00] So it challenges us sometimes as guys to get out of our comfort zone and do some things that maybe we don't really want to do. But you know what, you get to be in a space that, if. How often are we spending time doing something that our wife really loves? And you get to see a different side of her that you wouldn't normally.

[00:52:17] So tonight, looking forward to it. I already know what we're gonna do. Normally we don't necessarily tell, but we had to make a bit, couple of plans to get things organized, but time blocking, especially in, you know, for date nights, kids, all of that I think is a, a really profound tool. Alan, what is your experience?

[00:52:35] Okay. We're, we're telling guys they should be intentional. What is the difference in your life after learning to be intentional about what you're doing? You know, today we actually have conversations in my re in my marriage before being intentional. It'd be nothing for us to go a whole, a whole day without saying a couple of words, good morning and goodnight.

[00:53:00] Literally hardly anything spoken between the day. But now because of being more intentional, We actually have conversations about things, we actually actually want to spend time together doing things. And so that has been probably the most profound change. Also, I can say that even though I talked earlier about, you know, the relationship with my youngest son is actually being more, is actually improving a little bit more because I can sit here and complain about it and say, well, he never reaches out.

[00:53:28] Or, I can do what all the kids are doing now and just get on the phone. Cause that's his mode of communication. He'll answer a me, he'll answer a Facebook messenger much quicker than me sending him a text or calling him. And so it's about, you know, for that. I see when I, when I start to understand about how he wants to communicate, how he wants to be engaged with and I step into that, then the relationships start to improve.

[00:53:53] And I think when we look at the part of our lives that aren't going well, And we pro provide and we put some intentionality into that. You're gonna see profound shifts. Things that you just, you didn't think were possible and you thought that were gonna take years and be way shorter than that, you'll, you'll be blown away at how much things change and it's all be on us to do.

[00:54:14] It's not on the others to change. Guys, I, I want you to hear what he just said in that statement. It, it, it was subtle cuz it wasn't the focus of it. Facebook Messenger, he became intentional about communicating with his son in the way his son prefers to communicate with. It's one thing we, we talk about in our relationship courses is people have different styles of communication.

[00:54:38] One of my best friends, if I actually want to get an answer from him, I text him. Text is his preferred communication. I have another friend. Messenger is the way to reach that person, right? I. Understand the people in your life that you wanna be intentional with and understand how they want to communicate, how they feel safe and comfortable in communicating, and be intentional about it.

[00:55:00] And it may be outta your comfort zone, okay? There are some of us who's like, oh, I'd rather you want me to text you, but I hate Facebook Messenger, but I still have people I communicate with on. I finally, it took me years. I finally put up my phone because I didn't want one more messaging app on my phone, but I finally put it on there because there are some people I'm communicating with that that's where they communicate.

[00:55:24] Yeah, be intentional about that communication. Communicate where they want to communicate. That's intentionality. That's really, really powerful, guys. Now, Alan, I'm starting at ground zero of, I'm realizing, oh, you know what I'm, I'm putting a lot of my life on autopilot. What are the first three steps? Where do our listeners start today to start to change to living more intentionally?

[00:55:54] If you're truly living on an autopilot, I would suggest that you look at the areas in your life that you're struggling with the most and what are those and what are those areas? And when you recognize where, what areas struggling, then what part of it is hap is struggling within it. And when we understand where we're coming from and what's happening, then we can start to take action.

[00:56:14] So I always say that, you know, we're ready to make change when we're ready to take responsibility for where we are in life. So where we are in life is that looking at the aspects that are not working. The next step is to take responsibility for who we are. Well, how did am I showing up? Why? What is happening that's causing this situation to be, that I'm responsible for, that I can control?

[00:56:35] And then when we do, when, when we recognize those three, those two steps, the third step is, is that what do I re aspire to become? So it goes back to that asking that what kind of man, I'm the kind of man who, and then you can start to take that next step. So maybe it's as simple as, you know, I'm the kind of man that that comes in and has a com, has a 15 minute conversation with my spouse when I come in from work.

[00:56:59] Cause that's something that I don't normally do. Maybe you're, as you're. You do something completely different and you just leave the, and leave the room. But it's a start. It starts that process. And then as you start to do that, you can build upon those successes. So start small. I like the, you know, the idea, you know, from the book of the one thing.

[00:57:17] It's that 1% step. It's not that biggest step. And whatever you think that it is that you need to do, what can be something even simpler than that? Even smaller than that. And that's where I would recommend we start. Just look at what are those aspects of your life you can use however way you wanna slice it.

[00:57:32] Our, we use the Wheel of Fortune or the Wheel of Fortune. The Wheel of Life, or I call it the Integrity Challenge. And we put guys through and it touches on those six aspects to, to have a look at, which is the ones that are, that are in dire need of, of attention. And then start to work on that piece of of your life.

[00:57:50] And as soon as you just take responsibility for where it is and how you got there, then you can start to make an action plan to move forward. Alan, what's, what's next for Alan Duo? What questions you got going? Yeah, what's going on next? You know, we're still got lots of recording here going on for the for the Revolutionary Mountain Podcast.

[00:58:11] We're also in the midst here of just finishing up a few more lesson plans. So we have the five pillars of man, we touch on purpose, identity you know, communication. Right now, this year we're really focusing on the art of communication or connection, I should say. You know, also finishing up Code of honor and, and really a marriage class.

[00:58:27] And so putting the bows on a bunch of lesson plans there. And once those are done, we're gonna get ready to rebrand that whole process and, and get it out to the market. I think there's so many things that, that men need out there. And, and while while we're all doing stuff, we come from different perspectives and I think when, when the teacher's ready, you know, when the student's ready, the teacher appears.

[00:58:46] And so there's, we need more guys like yourself, myself and others out there, Brent, to get out there and help, help guys find the message that resonates with them. Where is the best places to find you, Alan? Yeah. Best place to find me is@theawakenman.net at that site. There you'll see. All right, at the very top, there's an opportunity to join our group mentorship program, the Band of Brothers, and even, or even if you just want to get a little bit of clarity, there's opportunity to confirm a clarity session there right at the top of the page.

[00:59:13] Just hit that button. More than happy to sit down and spend time with you, help give you a little opportunity to, to get clear on an aspect of your life, and so I would suggest those would be the the place to start. All right. Now guys, I know the really important question you're worried about, and the answer is, what age did the Chinese golfer Ang Guang make his first appearance in the Masters tournament?

[00:59:36] You guess? 14, which is the correct answer. Ooh, well done sir. Well done guys. If you didn't get it, that was 14. Wow. The Chinese are amazing at starting people really young on things. That's crazy. Alan, I want you to wrap things up. What is the most important takeaway you want people to hear today? I think the most important takeaway is to remember that, that we are responsible for every, as, everything in our life, is that it's up to us as men to be the leaders and to invite our family and our friends to come with us on the journey.

[01:00:13] We're all on our own heroes quest. And the moment that we start to take the responsibility for that, our life changes profoundly. And so do that for yourself, for your family, and for your community. Alan, thank you for taking the time to be on the show today and hang out with us. Guys, thank you for spending some time with us.

[01:00:31] Please take this stuff to heart. Look up Alan, if you've got questions, if you need help, if he may be the perfect guy to pair up with for you, okay? Him and I work in the same area. And trust me, if you pick Alan over me, that's fine. I don't care. I, if you need someone to walk beside you, find somebody to walk beside you it's, it's a powerful, it's one of the most powerful tools you'll ever find.

[01:00:55] Be better tomorrow because of what you do today, and we'll see you on the next one. This has been the Fallible Man Podcast. Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get your own fallible man here.