How to get your A game back in your Marriage: Fix Your Mindset

1 00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:03,840 Is the honeymoon period over a few years down the road and wondering 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:04,950 what happened to your marriage. 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,700 The good news is you're not alone and it's nothing you can't recover from. 4 00:00:09,790 --> 00:00:12,930 Majority of the couples hit this crossroad, but couples 5 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,610 that last do something about it. 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:19,320 Well, you allow me to share with you what worked for me and what I think 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,980 will help you as you try and bring your endgame back to your marriage. 8 00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:24,570 Let. 9 00:00:25,919 --> 00:00:27,509 Here's the million dollar question. 10 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:31,650 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men we 11 00:00:31,650 --> 00:00:35,790 dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 12 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:40,470 being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? 13 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,050 That's the question in this podcast. 14 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:44,640 We'll help you with those answers. 15 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,550 My name is Brett and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 16 00:00:48,629 --> 00:00:50,040 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 17 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,989 You're home for all things, man, husband, and father. 18 00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,150 Big shout out to Fallible Nation and warm. 19 00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:55,470 Welcome to our first time listeners. 20 00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:57,599 My name is Brent and I am the fallible man. 21 00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:01,919 If you're wondering what the hell happened to your thriving relationship, then you're 22 00:01:01,925 --> 00:01:04,560 just joining the ranks of reality in life. 23 00:01:05,039 --> 00:01:08,520 It doesn't matter if you did premarital counseling or read every 24 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,210 relationship book, all marriages hit a point where you wonder what 25 00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:15,690 happened to that wild swing from the chandelier passionate marriage to. 26 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:20,565 The big difference is what you choose to do about it. 27 00:01:21,495 --> 00:01:23,265 I woke up one day and had the same thought. 28 00:01:23,565 --> 00:01:25,155 I thought, Hey, we used to be more fun. 29 00:01:25,155 --> 00:01:26,205 What happened to us? 30 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,875 The answer is, life happened. 31 00:01:29,145 --> 00:01:29,865 You grew up. 32 00:01:30,435 --> 00:01:31,635 You're not a kid anymore. 33 00:01:31,905 --> 00:01:33,105 You're adulting. 34 00:01:33,105 --> 00:01:34,875 Now, I, I hate that term. 35 00:01:34,935 --> 00:01:36,285 I, I super hate that term. 36 00:01:37,035 --> 00:01:41,625 You have jobs, bills, responsibility, maybe even kids, and life happens. 37 00:01:42,285 --> 00:01:43,605 You got tired, you got. 38 00:01:45,195 --> 00:01:49,634 Distracted by all the many things and you got lazy about the one thing 39 00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:53,145 that's holding it all together, and most likely both of you did. 40 00:01:54,074 --> 00:01:58,125 The awesome thing is your relationship can be more amazing as years go by, 41 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:02,865 but the things we need to worry about adjusting in this situation is the one 42 00:02:02,865 --> 00:02:05,145 thing we really can, and that's you. 43 00:02:06,345 --> 00:02:07,395 You lost your A game. 44 00:02:07,634 --> 00:02:09,884 Moreover, you, you just kind of let it go. 45 00:02:10,035 --> 00:02:10,975 You traded it for. 46 00:02:12,494 --> 00:02:14,864 Why keep up the work for something you already have? 47 00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:18,704 This is the mindset we fall into, and the answer to that 48 00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:20,475 question is why you're here. 49 00:02:22,005 --> 00:02:25,154 This is what life looks like when you give up your A game. 50 00:02:25,315 --> 00:02:26,625 That's, that's why we're here. 51 00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:29,054 That's why you should keep up the work. 52 00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:31,185 So how do we fix it? 53 00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:35,280 One thing I usually don't share is how impactful the podcast 54 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,390 has been for me personally. 55 00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:40,019 There's a lot I love and appreciate because I have the podcast. 56 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,570 I become somebody who can approach people easier. 57 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,000 I have a better network of people to call upon when I need 'em. 58 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,170 I get to meet new people all the time from all walks of life and all over the 59 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:53,370 globe and connect with 'em at a deeper level, and I have a voice to do what I. 60 00:02:54,385 --> 00:02:57,985 I'm always put into situations where I'm having to stretch and learn something new. 61 00:02:58,315 --> 00:03:01,015 I've really grown as a person and a professional since I started doing 62 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:04,855 my podcast, and that was even before my show really started growing. 63 00:03:05,755 --> 00:03:09,085 I hired a company called Grow Your Show, who's our sponsor, by the way, 64 00:03:09,715 --> 00:03:10,975 and I wanted to share them with you. 65 00:03:11,395 --> 00:03:14,045 The owner, Adam, has one of the very best podcasts for teaching 66 00:03:14,325 --> 00:03:15,535 you how to be a podcaster. 67 00:03:16,015 --> 00:03:17,155 I honestly wish I had found it. 68 00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:21,480 One thing that they've done to help me is to bring me to a much larger 69 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,630 listener base so that my voice is being heard around the world. 70 00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:28,590 There's a good chance, in fact that they helped us connect, but they 71 00:03:28,590 --> 00:03:30,570 also do editing and post-production. 72 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:34,470 They can even help you launch and start your podcast, which could 73 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,530 really help you in your business or whatever you're trying to achieve. 74 00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:40,170 So I just wanted to give them a quick shout out. 75 00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:43,980 I love to share great people and companies that I believe in, that I use person. 76 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,700 So that's Grow Your show@growyourshow.com. 77 00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:51,420 I have a link in the show notes and if you have a podcast or you wanna start 78 00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:54,720 a podcast or you're thinking about it, just scroll down there, click that 79 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,790 link and go work with my friend Adam. 80 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,140 He's gonna treat you right? 81 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:02,460 Well, we do so with a simple but radical mindset shift. 82 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,320 Well, let me see if you can hear it. 83 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:09,630 Why keep up the work for something you already have is how we got. 84 00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:16,935 Doesn't the person who love me so long deserve my very best is how we get back. 85 00:04:18,464 --> 00:04:23,565 See, I looked at myself one morning in the mirror and I thought, I don't 86 00:04:23,565 --> 00:04:24,474 wanna look at myself shirtless. 87 00:04:25,455 --> 00:04:28,395 Then I thought, why should my wife have to look at me shirtless? 88 00:04:28,605 --> 00:04:29,955 So look at me like this. 89 00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:33,015 I, I let my physique go. 90 00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:35,835 I just gotten kind of sloppy and lazy about taking care of 91 00:04:35,835 --> 00:04:37,515 myself, and it occurred to. 92 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,080 That she did put up with me. 93 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,320 Not only did she put up with me, she loved me anyway, even though I didn't 94 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:49,169 look the same way I used to or near as good as I used to 20 years ago, I wasn't 95 00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:50,820 paying attention to how I looked anymore. 96 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:53,280 I just, I let it all go and I didn't care. 97 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:54,990 I didn't think I had to worry about it. 98 00:04:55,349 --> 00:04:59,130 I certainly don't look as healthy as I once did when we first got married. 99 00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:02,219 I also realized I wasn't putting the effort into our 100 00:05:02,224 --> 00:05:03,930 relationship that I used to either. 101 00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:06,270 I got lazy and I got. 102 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:13,289 If anyone in my life is worthy of and deserves my A game, it's the 103 00:05:13,289 --> 00:05:16,890 woman who's now had my back and journey with me for over 20 years. 104 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:21,299 I know you're looking for a silver bullet to jump back into the crazy 105 00:05:21,299 --> 00:05:23,400 wild monkey passion, and here it is. 106 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:28,020 Let me, lemme show up as the upgraded version of the man she fell in love with. 107 00:05:29,549 --> 00:05:34,094 See, regardless of anything, This woman has put up with my shit, loved me 108 00:05:34,094 --> 00:05:38,115 through all the ups and downs, and still looks at me like I'm something special. 109 00:05:38,715 --> 00:05:41,685 And that that woman, she deserves my A game. 110 00:05:42,105 --> 00:05:44,835 The best version of me, the healthy version of me. 111 00:05:45,435 --> 00:05:48,975 The me that actively pursues her even though she's already mine. 112 00:05:49,695 --> 00:05:54,164 The me that shows up, this present the me that works hard and puts 113 00:05:54,164 --> 00:05:59,715 in the effort you want your A game back in your marriage and B, like. 114 00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:04,065 Live a life where you get finer with age. 115 00:06:04,905 --> 00:06:08,715 The longer you're in your marriage, the more amazing you should try 116 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,205 and become because she's earned it. 117 00:06:11,325 --> 00:06:14,445 She's done the laps, she's put in the reps, she's put in the miles. 118 00:06:15,015 --> 00:06:18,195 She's absolutely worth it because she's been with you through 119 00:06:18,195 --> 00:06:19,515 the ups, through the downs. 120 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:23,745 No matter how you were, she's made this right with you and 121 00:06:23,745 --> 00:06:25,785 doesn't she deserve your very. 122 00:06:28,065 --> 00:06:29,205 You deserve your best. 123 00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:30,825 Sure, do it for yourself. 124 00:06:30,885 --> 00:06:36,045 If nothing else, if that doesn't work for you, but shift that mindset instead 125 00:06:36,050 --> 00:06:39,045 of, why should I worry about it? 126 00:06:39,195 --> 00:06:40,094 She's already mine. 127 00:06:40,094 --> 00:06:41,025 Why should I keep this up? 128 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:47,445 She's, instead of go with doesn't this person who's loved me so long deserve 129 00:06:47,445 --> 00:06:49,905 the very best version of me, no matter. 130 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:56,700 I promise if you put in the effort, she's gonna notice and that wild, crazy 131 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,200 passion in your marriage will come back. 132 00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:00,900 You guys will be revitalized. 133 00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:05,100 I know some couples who have been married for 40 or 50 years, and they will make you 134 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,680 sick with how much they adore each other. 135 00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:11,880 And if you want to be that crazy couple that at 40 years of marriage, 136 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,940 50 years of marriage is grossing out all the young people because they 137 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:16,650 still just get googly over each other. 138 00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:18,570 Guys, this is how it happens. 139 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:25,140 Show up as the upgraded version of the man she fell in love with, not 140 00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:29,430 the downgraded leftover, cuz she deserves the best version of you. 141 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:31,500 And so do you guys. 142 00:07:31,505 --> 00:07:33,240 I promise it's gonna make a difference. 143 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:34,830 You can control you. 144 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:35,659 That's what we do here. 145 00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:38,085 Now it's Friday. 146 00:07:38,085 --> 00:07:40,034 I wanna share a user review. 147 00:07:40,094 --> 00:07:43,484 You guys leaving these reviews for us speaks volumes to me and just 148 00:07:43,604 --> 00:07:46,604 does amazing things for the podcast and we're so grateful for it. 149 00:07:47,495 --> 00:07:52,305 CD Raw 18 said Helpful content, five star review. 150 00:07:52,635 --> 00:07:55,905 I appreciate how this podcast is not pretending to be anything other 151 00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:58,695 than the person trying to help other people to be their best selves. 152 00:07:59,294 --> 00:08:02,474 There's valuable information while geared towards men. 153 00:08:02,594 --> 00:08:03,974 The parenting advice applies. 154 00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:04,765 Applies to. 155 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,950 And it's definitely helpful. 156 00:08:08,550 --> 00:08:12,720 Thank you so much for sharing that review with us and guys, if you are 157 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,160 trying to get over that hurdle, right? 158 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:18,330 If you're stuck and just need that little push, that little help, that 159 00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,770 little bit of support, that's great. 160 00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:20,400 That's okay. 161 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:21,720 We can do that. 162 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:27,810 Check us out@thefallowman.com slash coaching is our coaching page on the 163 00:08:27,810 --> 00:08:30,240 website and schedule your free discovery. 164 00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:34,020 Let's talk about how we can help you jump over that hurdle, guys, 165 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:35,480 that's the way I do my coaching. 166 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,600 Six, eight week plans to just get you over to that next step, 167 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:45,200 help you realign some things, get together and develop a positive 168 00:08:45,205 --> 00:08:46,950 plan of attack so you can move on. 169 00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:49,230 And it's one and done guys. 170 00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:49,950 Simple and easy. 171 00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:52,260 So schedule your covered discovery call today. 172 00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:54,840 I love to walk with you as you're on your journey to become 173 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:55,980 the best version of yourself. 174 00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:57,930 As always, thanks for listening. 175 00:08:58,140 --> 00:09:00,810 Be better tomorrow because of what you do today, and we'll see you on the next one. 176 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,530 This has been The Fallible Man Podcast. 177 00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:08,400 Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. 178 00:09:09,270 --> 00:09:11,220 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss. 179 00:09:12,435 --> 00:09:18,735 Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get 180 00:09:18,795 --> 00:09:20,265 your own Fallible man gear.