How to Establish Deep Connections with People

[00:00:00] In a world where men face unique challenges and expectations, the need for real relationships has never been more essential than it is now. Join us as we delve deep into why men thrive with meaningful connections. Unravel the obstacles that hinder authentic relationships, and uncover the blueprint for building unbreakable barns with other people.

[00:00:18] Let's get into it. I won't waste another minute, won't. Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential? Growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

[00:00:45] My name is Brent and welcome to the F Man Podcast.

[00:00:50] The mission. Hey guys, before we get started, we need your help. There's a link to a survey in the show notes and description of this show. We're asking for your input to help us make better content across all of our platforms for you, because it takes a few minutes, there's free gift. Just as a thank you for taking the time to help us out.

[00:01:10] We wanna make sure we're giving you the content that will help make your life better, and it's exactly what you want to hear and what you need. So if you'll take a few minutes and fill that survey out, that would do as a huge solid and help us make better comment content for you in the future year in the upcoming 2024 season.

[00:01:29] Now let's get back into it. Men, like any other individuals, need healthy relationships for a variety of reasons. Healthy relationships can take various forms, including friendships, romantic partnerships, family relationships, and connections with communities or social networks. The quality and depth of these relationships plays a significant role in men's overall wellbeing, highlighting the importance of nurturing and maintaining positive connections with others.

[00:01:57] Now, here are some of the key benefits of having healthy relationships. One is emotional support. Healthy relationships provide a source of emotional support. Men, just like anyone else, experience a range of emotions, even though we like to think we don't sometimes, and having someone to trust and confide in can be crucial for their wellbeing.

[00:02:16] Sharing feelings and fears and challenges with a trusted friend can help men process emotions, reduce stress, enhance overall emotional resilience, communication, and connection. Healthy relationships. Foster effective communication and meaningful connections. Building and maintaining strong relationships Allow men to express their thoughts, ideas, and needs.

[00:02:39] Openly. Good communication skills not only help men navigate personal relationships, but also improve their professional interactions and overall social wellbeing. Number three is mental and physical health, or sorry, mental and psychological health. Positive relationships have a significant impact on mental and psychological health.

[00:02:59] Having a support system helps me cope with life stressors, reduces the risk of developing mental issues and things like anxiety and depression. And I know those are mental issues, but those actually resonate even bigger when men a lot of times, and promote overall psychological wellbeing. Healthy relationships provide a sense of belonging, purpose, and stability.

[00:03:23] Now, We can go on and we, we will. But in case you didn't know, I'm the fallible lamb. My name's Brent. And welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things, man. Big shout out to Fallible Nation. You guys make this all possible and I can tell you more about that if you're interested. There's will be links below and a warm welcome to our first time listeners.

[00:03:46] Thanks for taking the time to check us out. Guys, we are here to serve the Men community, so this is all about you. Now let's get back into why is good first, have strong, healthy relationships. Personal growth and self-awareness. Healthy relationships encourage personal growth and self-awareness, just like I said, through interactions with others.

[00:04:10] Men gain new perspectives, learn about themselves, and develop a deeper understanding of their strengths, weaknesses, and their values. Supportive relationships can also challenge men to step out of their comfort zones, try new things and pursue personal goals, physical health. Research suggests that healthy relationships have a positive effect on physical health.

[00:04:33] Strong social connections and emotional support can reduce risk of various health conditions, including cardiovascular disease, which is the number one killer for men. High blood pressure, which is way up there. And of course, mental health issues like we already talked about, engaging in activities and shared experiences with others can promote physical wellbeing and encourage a healthier overall lifestyle.

[00:04:55] Now that is also pint on the people you hang out with because it can go the other way as well. So be smart about that. Social fulfillment and a sense of purpose. Healthy relationships provide social fulfillment and contribute to a sense of purpose, meaningful connections with others. Give men a sense of belonging.

[00:05:16] Acceptance and a feeling of being a part of something larger than themselves. The social fulfillment can enhance overall life satisfaction, happiness, and a sense of purpose in both the personal and professional realms. Now, we've been talking about why healthy relationships are important, and I know I talked to men.

[00:05:36] This is universal, but I'm talking to you men. Myself specifically, in the next part of the show, we're gonna dive into things that prevent us from building healthy relationships. We're gonna roll to our first sponsor and we will be right back with more. Now, before we go any further, I wanted to share with you guys, I don't always tell you how much I love doing my podcast, like I passionately love what I'm doing, and one of the things that makes my life better as a podcaster is to work with a company like Grow Your Show.

[00:06:10] Grow Your show is a one-stop podcast. Do it all. Now I use Grow Your Show for my marketing, but Grow Your Show is literally a one-stop shop. You can record your episode and just drop it off with them and they take it from there. It's amazing. If you are interested in picking up podcasting, it's a hobby, or maybe you're looking to expand your business and use podcasting in that aspect, talk to my friends over grow your show.

[00:06:31] Adam will take care of you. I guarantee it. I trust him. He's my friend, he's my business colleague, and I wouldn't trust anybody else. Welcome back guys. In the first part of the show, we were discussing why healthy relationships are important for men, not just for men. Let's face it, they're important for everybody, but.

[00:06:47] Since I mainly talked to man, this is the specifics we're talking about today is why they're important for us. In this part of the show, we're gonna dive into things that prevent us from building those healthy relationships because there are various factors that can hinder the development of healthy relationships, right?

[00:07:05] We, we know that mentally, but we're gonna identify five of them specifically that are very common. And actually hold a lot of men back from establishing those healthy relationships. So number one is poor communication. Effective communication is vital for building healthy relationships. Difficulties in expressing feelings are, let's face it, as men sometimes we just don't like to express most of those feelings.

[00:07:30] Active listening and understanding one another's needs can impede relationship development. Lack of communication are engaging in negative communication patterns such as criticism, defensiveness, our stonewalling, as we're very prone to do, can actually really strain relationships. I know that's not rocket science guys, but this, this comes around and bites a lot of guys in the butt.

[00:07:54] Number two is lack of trust. Trust forms the foundation of any healthy relationship. Any and every healthy relationship experiences of betrayal, past traumas or unresolved issues from previous relationships can make it challenging to establish trust with a partner or even trust oneself. We always think, what did we miss, right?

[00:08:18] Why didn't we see this? So trust issues can lead to suspicion, jealousy, and constant doubt, which can erode relationship's health very quickly. Number three is unsolved emotional baggage. And this is really popular these days. Personal emotional baggage from past experiences such as unresolved traumas, unhealed wounds can impact the ability to engage in healthy relationships.

[00:08:42] Unresolved emotional issues may manifest as excessive neediness, fear of intimacy, or the inability to form deep connections with others. And this is something that has really become more present in the last two decades. I know it existed before that, but it's something that we're seeing more and more present with younger generations.

[00:09:04] I'm just carrying this excessive baggage with them. Number four is unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic. We'll see if I can say that clearly on a microphone. Unrealistic expectations constrain relationships by setting unreasonable standards for oneself or a partner. These expectations can stem from societal pressure.

[00:09:26] Media influences, personal beliefs. Pornography, let's throw that one out there since we're talking, right? Cuz that seems to be a bigger problem among men than women. Amen. When individual expert, when individuals expect perfection or constantly compare their relationship to idealized versions that they have put together in their head from things they've seen, like the unrealistic things that media puts in front of us, they may struggle to appreciate and nurture the genuine connection that they actually have.

[00:09:59] Number five, that usually gives people is a lack of self-awareness. Developing a healthy relationship requires self-awareness and an understanding of one's own needs, one's boundaries, and emotions. Individuals who lack self-awareness may struggle to communicate their needs effectively, or fail to recognize and address personal issues that may affect their relationship.

[00:10:19] Without self-awareness, it becomes challenging to navigate conflicts, practice empathy, or even cultivate healthy dynamics. Now it's important to note these barriers can be overcome. Through self-reflection, open communication, maybe therapy, and a willingness to grow individually. Okay? And I'm not gonna tell you, I'm not gonna tell you you need therapy, okay?

[00:10:43] But if, if that's something that you feel like will be beneficial to you, there's no shame that either, if you wanna speed up the process of understanding how to nega na, understanding how to navigate these issues. Check out our new Relationship Builders course and let us help you skip the trial and error and make the jump to healthy relationships, our understanding how to build healthy relationships.

[00:11:08] In 10 weeks now, guys, we've been discussing things that prevent us from building healthy relationships. In the next part of the show, we're gonna dive into the five stages of becoming relationship savvy with any relationship, and I mean any relationship, because the foundation for all relationships, for all healthy relationships is actually the same, whether that's with your kids, with your spouse, or with your boss.

[00:11:32] So we're gonna roll to our sponsor and we'll be right back. How well do you sleep at night? Do you toss and turn and wake up more tired than when you went to bed? Sleep is commonly one of the critical elements people fall short on in their life. The quality of sleep you get directly affects your ability to control your weight, your ability to add muscle, your stress levels, and your everyday job and life performance.

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[00:12:12] Sleep tomorrow. Now let's go on to the show. Welcome back guys. In the last part of the show, we discussed things that prevent us from building healthy relationships. And are very common problems for a lot of guys that just tend to sidewind us. I'm not even sure that's the right term, huh? Sorry I'm recording this late in the night.

[00:12:32] In this part of the show, we're going to dive into the five stages of becoming relationship savvy with any relationship that you want to have. Now, guys, I can only lay this out so deep here if this resonates with you, be sure and check about, check out our relationship builders group coaching option because.

[00:12:52] I really cannot get deep into this that I do in the course. Uh, it's, it's a live coaching situation. I can't get as deep, obviously in the podcast. That's one of the problems with podcasts is not all podcasts are Joe Rogan and I can't spend four hours explaining it, but we're gonna go through these five stages that will help you build solid relationships with anyone.

[00:13:16] The first stage is you have to become growth and change ready. The fact is most people are unsuccessful at making effective, successful, long-lasting changes. It rarely has anything to do with the desired change itself as much as being ready for change in their own lives. The truth comes down to two issues.

[00:13:39] Change is scary for a lot of people, and number two is there's more involved than you think. Right. Those are the two things that just waylay a lot of people's attempts to make healthy changes in their life is it either scares them whether they realize it or not, or they vastly underestimate what's involved.

[00:14:05] In fact, I sell a course purely just on getting ready for positive change in your life because I had this experience myself. I got involved with my business coach and it actually weight laid me for a couple weeks because I was just not prepared for that kind of commitment to commit to that program.

[00:14:28] And I had took several weeks to get my life rearranged to accommodate the changes I wanted to make in my life. And I learned from that and it's something I like to share with people. The second stage is you have to focus on your relationship with yourself. Most men have an extremely unhealthy relationship with themselves.

[00:14:48] We're taught to take care of our responsibilities, which, you know, I'm all for if you listened to the show before, however, we're taught that our only value comes from that very thing is just taking care of our responsibilities. That's, that's all. That's, that's our value. You'll find memes all over the internet about how you know men are only loved for what they provide and what they do.

[00:15:14] However, we're taught this at an early stage, so we have no value, no other value, at least as far as we're concerned. We're expected to carry these drastic loads. Loads, which can't possibly be carried perfectly. Then we fall short. When we fall short, we, we think we're losers. The artist Dax wrote an incredible song and captures it really well.

[00:15:40] Like it just, man, it blew me away. And it's called to Be a Man, and if you guys haven't heard it, I think I reposted it on my Facebook. But, uh, it's, it's an incredible song and it's very difficult to listen to because I think he really captured it powerfully. That men just don't value themselves because of the way that we are taught to function in our modern society.

[00:16:06] Now, if you have to learn to love yourself first, because no one will see your value, if you don't see your own value. So the second stage is we have to focus on our relationship with ourselves first. We have to get that healthy before we have healthy relationships with other people. The third stage is learning the skills.

[00:16:27] Like any other skill, there is knowledge to learn and things to practice. These are teachable, learnable skills involved in building successful relationships. It takes time and practice. There are things you can learn about communication styles, personality types. Uh, the way we perceive love, the way we feel, love the way people, different sexes think, the way different people think, and a lot more.

[00:16:55] And I know that sounds really intimidating. It doesn't have to be. It's something we cover in my course, but it's absolutely critical. The good news is they are skills, they are learnable and they're things that you can develop and get better at. So esmond, that's one thing we're really good about is going.

[00:17:17] This is what I'm gonna go after. And we're good at being mission oriented so you can set the mission to learn these valuable skills that help you have better relationships and it's, it's key to being very successful at them. Stage four and honestly, interchangeably, I didn't put these in a specific order.

[00:17:38] Uh, alright. I may have messed this one up, honestly. I'm, I'm still going back and forth between whether I want stage three to be stage four and et cetera, et cetera. Stage four is you have to let it go. You can't keep holding on to old hurt and pain. You have to forgive yourself. You have to give yourself grace.

[00:18:00] You have to forgive and extend other people grace from your past to have successful relationships going forward. Carrying all this negative old weight garbage in your life and into your next relationship will doom any next relationship. You can't do it. It's not made to function together. If you carry that trash, whether you end the next relationship, you've already sabotaged that relationship from ever becoming what is possible for it to come become.

[00:18:33] So you have to let go of the garbage. I'm really thinking I may move that to stage three and you know, that's dumb, but that's my brain thinking as I go. Stage five, you have to become intentional. Nothing ever happens by accident. People waste so much time. So, so much time with the thought that if I'm just me.

[00:19:03] Amazing relationships are just gonna come my way. That's dumb. All right? There are all kinds of memes about, you know, waiting for the perfect man and just a skeleton sitting there on the park bench. Uh, a woman, right? And vice versa. Waiting for the perfect woman is a men's skeleton sitting there, right?

[00:19:22] Things don't happen by accident. You have to be intentional just thinking that you're going to have successful relationships by just being. Hey, here I am. But it is not how anything works. Work is required by anyone who wants to have a healthy relationship. Anyone who's been in a relationship for any long period of time can tell you.

[00:19:47] Relationships are really healthy. Relationships are a choice and an action all the time. To maintain that, I can't have a healthy relationship with my kid. Just because I'm their father. If I don't put time in that relationship, I'm not gonna have a healthy relationship with 'em. I can't have a healthy relationship with my friend if I never put any intentionality behind that relationship with my friend.

[00:20:13] If you just exist and let it happen, it will deteriorate and fall apart. And guys, if you're getting something outta this, be sure and do all the good social media nonsense. Click the like button. Leave us a comment, share this. With a friend who needs it. And if you're on a platform where you can comment, we'd love to hear what you have to say about the show.

[00:20:34] Now I wanna get into some takeaways that you can take away from this show right now today. Uh, if you've ever listened to the show before, this is something that's really important to me, is I like to make sure that you guys have action items that you can walk away from this show with. So here's three things you can take away right now.

[00:20:53] A, you need relationships to thrive. So decide what relationships are important to you. That whole lone wolf nonsense is exactly that as nonsense, great for marketing, stupid thought. So since you need relationships to thrive, decide what relationships are important to you in your life, you need to identify those.

[00:21:16] Number two is identify the things that are holding you back so that you can make an action plan and take action. Right. We talked about five very common things that hold people back from healthy relationships. That's not the only list. Okay? That's not the full list. I can't do that all in one show, but those are just the five really big common ones I run into with people.

[00:21:39] So really take a deep dive, right? Get into self-awareness and take a deep dive. What is keeping you from having the healthy relationships you want to? Number three is making plan of action and become intentional about your relationships. Okay? Just becoming more intentional about the relationships you want to be successful that are important to you will help improve that relationship incredibly.

[00:22:08] And the biggest takeaway I want you to hear today is this. Healthy relationships are the bedrock of an amazing life. It's what makes life incredible. Having you can have everything in the world. If you've got no one close to you to share it with you, you're gonna be miserable. You can be dirt poor and living in a box and still have an amazing sense of life if you have somebody you love, who is a cl, a close friend, right, that you can share your experiences with.

[00:22:41] Because we are pack animals, we are all about shared experiences as people. You are capable of having deep relationships and real connections if you want to. Don't let anybody tell you different. You have the power and ability to have any you to have the kind of relationship that you've always wanted.

[00:23:01] You absolutely can achieve that. I believe that 100%. I helped men do it all the time. Please, please, please step into the relationships that you want to have guys. Now if you're looking for some help to skip the hurdles and speed up the learning curve, our Relationship Builders Group Coaching course is the perfect program for anyone who wants to build deeper, more meaningful connections with the important people in their lives.

[00:23:27] We'll guide you through a series of exercises and strategies designed to help you communicate more effectively, understand your own needs and desires, cultivate empathy and emotional intelligence, and develop new habits and routines that pr prioritize quality time with the people you care about. The next session is starting in June, so you can hit our website www.thefallibleman.com/uh, relationship coaching and look into that program more.

[00:23:55] Guys, I hope this helps you just go back to those three takeaways. If nothing else, those three action items, I promise those alone will help your relationships. Grow and buy leaps and bounds. Be better tomorrow because of what you do today, and we'll see on the next one. This has been The Fallible Man Podcast.

[00:24:17] Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get your own fallible man here. Ain't waiting and.