Foundations Revisited - Navigating Masculinity Through Beliefs and Values

[00:00:00] Three years ago, I turned on the camera and stepped up to the microphone to record my very first episode of the Fallible Man podcast. We launched with 10 episodes, and I bet most of you who have probably never heard the very first one, that's okay. We've updated the amount of episodes we do a week.

We've upgraded our format multiple times. The podcast art. The podcast art has changed a couple times the equipment, and I'm pretty sure I've grown along the journey. And Elise, I hope so, and I hope you have too. In all of change growth, I can say with absolute clarity, while the presentation has gotten a lot better 'cause yikes watching episode one, the video is painful for me.

I haven't taken it down. I just, yeah, it is hard to watch at this point. The heart hasn't changed behind the fallible man in the special 200th episode. I wanna revisit where we started and share the idea with you all over again. This still holds as true today as it did three years ago in 200 episodes. So let's get started.[00:01:00]

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential? Growing to the men we dream of be while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to this Album Man podcast.

Now, just for nostalgia state, instead of doing my normal introduction, I want to play the introduction from the very first video we did, the very first episode we did, and let me introduce my do myself all over again. Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast.

We provide content to help men become the men they wanna be. My name is Brent and I'm the fallible man. As you can tell, a whole lot hasn't [00:02:00] changed. Uh, a really, honestly, I was surprised at how little changed in that beginning intro from one episode to this episode. From episode one to episode 200, uh, the camera got a little better.

If you watch the video version, the microphone and audio definitely got a little better if you were just listening to it. But I just, I, I felt like it was, uh, proper to share that with you. Now let's start our conversation by exploring a really interesting idea. Apart from our biological makeup, there isn't just one solid foundation that defines what a truly be means to be a man.

Now, we like to say there is, but there really isn't. Instead, think of each man, kind of like a lighthouse, right? We all have some really common themes to make a lighthouse work, right? They all have to have certain qualities to be a lighthouse, but they're all a little bit different. [00:03:00] These lighthouses are built on a strong base and serve a common paper on.

They're built on a strong base and serve a common purpose of guiding ships, but they're also uniquely designed to endure the tough conditions that life throws at them. Depending on where they are, you get lighthouses in some harbors that they, they barely look like a lighthouse and they're small, and you get some that look like old school fortified forts because the ocean around them is unforgiving.

In fact, you may ask why I'm talking about lighthouses. Well, my father was a major advocate for the show. He absolutely loved what we were doing here with a fallible man. He lived with us when we came up with this concept and was absolutely my biggest fan. I lost him about two years ago, but he would've been tickled to see how we've come in this much time.

But he was big into lighthouses. My dad loved lighthouses. He [00:04:00] had lots of pictures, he had some figurines. My dad actually really loved lighthouses. He loved visiting the most, but it often inspired me and. It inspired our first episode, so I wanted to talk about lighthouses in relationship to men because honestly, we're going back to our first episode here because those foundations we laid in that first episode, 200 episodes later still holds up now.

It is still the foundation of what we do here, and it's still an important foundation for you to understand for yourself and how it applies to you. Now the ups and downs of life shape us in ways that are special for each of us. How we stay strong and resilient is different for everybody, and it all depends on our personal foundations.

Much like a lighthouse, the conditions that you are brought up in and that you have to thrive in really shape. A lot of your characteristics, [00:05:00] whether you're doing the same exact job as some other lighthouses, you probably look a little bit different 'cause that's how life affects you. While support from other people matter, having good relationships, having good connection, a good circle is really, really valuable.

The real strength to weather the storm though, comes down to having a solid foundation or base to who you are. Now it helps us discuss this. We're gonna use a method. We introduced 200 episodes, go called the three by three, although I've adapted it to the four by four approach. Either one works three or four.

It really just kind of boils down to you, but the base is still the same. Now, I want you to imagine four fundamental pillars. Make up the foundations of your life, right? Visualize these four pillars. Think like Ro Roman columns or something, whatever. Whatever that looks like for you. For me, those four pillars are God, [00:06:00] family, country, and people.

Now, I've expanded that to four pillars, like I said, because people is such a core part of my foundation that for years it was just God, family, country. But as I've matured people is just such a core. I had to expand a four by four instead of a three by three. That's why I changed it up. If you go back to episode number one, we're gonna talk about a three by three principle still holds true.

I just expanded it because for me, I needed that. Maybe you can boil yours down to three. Now, even though God, family, country, and me, adding people might sound fairly common, right? You've probably heard that a lot of times, uh, especially if you're. Uh, Southern person are particularly patriotic, right? Those are core fundamental principles that gives a spouse a lot in the United States, but they might not be as true for you as far as that being a foundation.

Growing up, a Southern kid in a southern family, those were [00:07:00] foundational thoughts for me, and they've been the strong pillars that have supported me through the toughest moments in my life. Now, you don't have to think too deeply, okay? Don't overanalyze and make this complicated. It's really not. Everyone has their own important foundations that guide them.

If you're not sure, take a minute. If you're driving, please don't play the game live. But take a moment and think about the foundations of who you are. This is a really meaningful process because it shapes you, right? And if you go back, I promise you don't overthink it, you will identify the three or four foundational pillars that just that you exist on.

That this is, if you boil it down, this is you. This is the foundations that hold everything true in your life. Like I said, mine worked God, family country for years. I finally added people. Because [00:08:00] everything about what I do is shaped by these four columns that are just foundationally built down deep in the earth for me, and hold me steady.

Think about what yours are like I said, please don't overcomplicate it. That's we, we overthink things way too often and make it too complicated. It's not, it's really not that complicated. Okay? You have your foundational. Pillars, they're, they're just core of everything you do. Everything boils back to these three or four things.

I promise you. What we're gonna do is, the other three or four, depending on which numbers you wanna go with, are your values, the core values. Now, before we get into values, right? We've talked about our core foundational pillars. These are the things that we stand on. These are the things that are unshakeable.

As far as what matters in [00:09:00] our lives, what, what we stand on, what we hold to, let's understand the difference between beliefs and values. Two things that are often mixed up values are not the same as principles are philosophies or beliefs. They hold a unique place in our moral system. For example, the Golden Rule.

Most people have heard of the golden rule. Is, it's great, right? It's do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right? We come that from the Bible. Other people wanna say it's from other times. It doesn't matter where you get it. We've all heard of the golden rule, and even though it's a really great rule, it's a guiding principle.

It's not a value. So to give an example what values are, and you can like Google. Values, right? Just Google values and you'll find them. Big old list of words. If I were to give you an example of, in some of my core values, they would be integrity, gratitude, honor, and service. [00:10:00] These are the four foundational values that affect everything I do.

Everything can be distilled down to that. Everything can be boiled down to these four values. If you're having trouble putting thoughts into words, like trying to like isolate it, right? Because some of those words are pretty simple. Some of those words we don't throw around very often. Really lots of resources online list of values.

And for me, like just looking that up because I knew what I felt, but actually putting the word to it was a little complex sometimes. So you can look up words. You already know these. Deep down, you really do. You already know these values because they've been quietly shaping your life in the background for your whole life.

They're things you identify with. Now, we understand these core value ideas because all of the really major [00:11:00] establishments in our government, the military, the uh, you know, alphabet soup agencies, Whether they adhere to them or not. If you look, all of them have their core values, right? We used to have to recite ours in the Air Force every morning in bootcamp.

So every great group has had this, and so do you. So take a minute and identify these, okay? Once you pick out these values, It might be really hard to narrow it down to the three by three framework. That's why I went with a four by four as well. Upgraded it from 200 episodes. I needed that fourth one to get in there, right?

Uh, gratitude. And originally mine would've been integrity, honor and service. Gratitude has just become such a core value that shapes me that I had to go to the four by [00:12:00] four, just like I do with my foundational pillars. So do whichever one you want. Boil it down to those four. Now, as we move forward, think about your basic core foundational beliefs.

Your pillars, right? Mindset was God, family, country, and people. You take this and you use your values and multiply. Across these, this combination, that's why I called it three by three or four by four plan will guide you in all your actions, in all your situations. For example, when I act, interact with someone else, right?

I remember one of my core beliefs. One my core foundational pillars is people. People are important. People have value, the world is about people. And then I use my values, right? My values that we looked up to give words to them, [00:13:00] and I use those values and I multiply it across my belief in people and about people to figure out how I act, whether things are going well, are things going tough?

It doesn't matter. I go, Hmm, person, gratitude, person integrity, person service. That will give you the framework to navigate in the biggest storms. When you are questioning everything else, you can fall back on this rock solid foundation that we're building of our core pillars of beliefs. Our core values use and you multiply them against each other or with each other.

And guess what? No matter what life throws at you, you're always gonna have the answer. For how to respond and stay true to who you are and stand strong in the storm. The whole process helps you build a [00:14:00] solid foundation, a strong, solid foundation, so when just life crashes against you, like those waves against the lighthouses, as we were talking about in the earlier part of the show, it will help you stay strong, will help you stand strong, and it'll help you remain true to who you are and who you want to be.

I guarantee it. Take it for a ride. Let us know, give us some feedback. What do you think now? It is Friday. And also since it is the 200 episode, I definitely have to share because I am just still blown away at how kind you guys are, uh, with some of the comments you leave for us and reviews. So today I wanna review, since it's Friday, a read a review from G M H 2 3, 4, 5, 6.

Okay. I always love your names five star View, thankful for finding this. Not normally a show I'd go looking for, but this show gives actionable steps for being in situations as a man, like a husband or a [00:15:00] father. You don't know what you don't know, and this helps navigate that. Thank you for that. Really generous review, guys.

Three years, 200 episodes, all because of our incredible audience and listeners. You guys are amazing. Be sure head over to the fallible man podcast.com and become part of the show. We have a voice messaging system there with a, a little guide and you can become part of the show. And I'd really love you have, I'd really love for you guys to be more a part of the show as, as just a thank you for the fact that you guys are.

You guys are why we keep doing this. And you guys are the reason we're doing celebrating 200 episodes. So go, uh, become part of the show. That way there's explanation there. Thank you for 200 episodes. Thank you for three years doing something I love. And thank you for being incredible as you become the person you want to [00:16:00] be.

As always, be better tomorrow because of what you do today and we'll see you on the next one. This has been the Fallible Man Podcast. Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get your own Fallible man gear.