5 Ways to Pull Yourself Up After A Dream Has Crashed And Burned

1 00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:01,920 We've all been there, right? 2 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:04,860 Caught in that moment of where a dream dies. 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,430 It's especially painful when you put a lot of effort into what you were doing, 4 00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:14,310 maybe made more so by how long you've been at or help onto this particular dream. 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,780 The temptation with this kind of disaster hits when this kind of 6 00:00:18,780 --> 00:00:20,550 disaster hits is to quit entirely. 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,940 After all, why keep trying to put yourself out there? 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,440 It might happen again, or maybe worse will come, might maybe. 9 00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:33,255 , we, we start to live in that horrible space of what if. 10 00:00:34,455 --> 00:00:37,815 Well, guys, on this episode of the Fallible Man podcast, I wanna share 11 00:00:37,815 --> 00:00:40,875 with you five ways to pull yourself up after our dream has crashed 12 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:44,175 and burned because I've been there and I think this might help you. 13 00:00:44,175 --> 00:00:45,015 So let's get into it. 14 00:00:47,325 --> 00:00:48,915 Here's the million dollar question. 15 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:52,935 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men 16 00:00:52,935 --> 00:00:56,325 we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, 17 00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:58,425 working, being good husband. 18 00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:01,890 Fathers and still take care of ourselves. 19 00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:04,470 That's the question in this podcast. 20 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,090 We'll help you with those answers. 21 00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:09,360 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 22 00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:11,789 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 23 00:01:11,789 --> 00:01:13,770 You're home for all things, man, husband, and father. 24 00:01:14,130 --> 00:01:15,600 Big shout out to the fallible nation. 25 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,900 You guys keep us making shows like this and a warm welcome to our first time. 26 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:19,140 Listen. 27 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,854 My name is Brent and I am the fallible man. 28 00:01:22,785 --> 00:01:24,914 You see the problem with living in the future, right? 29 00:01:24,914 --> 00:01:29,115 With the maybe if, uh, my, it could have, right? 30 00:01:30,044 --> 00:01:33,315 It's none of us are great at predicting just what's coming next. 31 00:01:34,005 --> 00:01:37,274 Of course, if we were, we would have never failed in the first place. 32 00:01:37,274 --> 00:01:39,884 So obviously we should already know this. 33 00:01:40,395 --> 00:01:41,065 Your better. 34 00:01:41,804 --> 00:01:45,524 The one thing you should be focusing on, focusing on, I can say the word 35 00:01:45,524 --> 00:01:47,774 focusing is to find your resolve. 36 00:01:47,955 --> 00:01:52,515 Now when it matters most, how? 37 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:55,125 Well, let's try these simple tips. 38 00:01:56,085 --> 00:01:59,235 I know this is gonna sound weird for me, but start with optimism. 39 00:01:59,955 --> 00:02:03,975 Having the right attitude will help you find your enthusiasm 40 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,345 that can restart the process. 41 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,289 You're especially gonna need this if you're feeling discouraged by 42 00:02:10,289 --> 00:02:11,800 how things turned out previously. 43 00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:17,670 And like I said, it even sounds weird coming outta my own mouth because 44 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,410 I am a pessimist by nature guys. 45 00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:24,630 But I promise you start with optimism and it will change your 46 00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:28,710 perspective and your outlook and help you through this difficult time. 47 00:02:29,610 --> 00:02:31,530 I know it's hard to be glass half. 48 00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:35,040 When you've just had things you've been working on for 49 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,450 a long time, crash and burn. 50 00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:43,200 But I promise you, if you lean into some optimism, it'll be a whole lot easier to 51 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,840 refocus, readjust, and start going again. 52 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,070 The second one I want you to consider is define the takeaway 53 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,120 from what just happened. 54 00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:56,730 You know, I'm a big advocate for examining anything and taking away 55 00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:58,230 as much information as you can. 56 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,489 So what can you learn from this situ? 57 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,700 by accepting the failure and taking the experience away from it. 58 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,320 What can you gain knowledge wise? 59 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:13,950 I mean, you can gain a much needed perspective. 60 00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:17,790 You can recognize how things win to skew, right? 61 00:03:18,269 --> 00:03:22,829 It's easier to let go of what happened so you can grab onto what 62 00:03:22,829 --> 00:03:25,140 comes next when you can look back at. 63 00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:31,305 The takeaways and the lessons you can pull out of it and start to 64 00:03:31,705 --> 00:03:36,075 actually pinpoint the, the chinks in the armor, the flaws so that you 65 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,935 don't make those flaws again, right? 66 00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:39,315 So you don't make those mistakes. 67 00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:40,455 So give the world. 68 00:03:40,980 --> 00:03:42,080 Find the takeaway. 69 00:03:42,085 --> 00:03:44,040 What can you learn from what just happened? 70 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,890 One thing I usually don't share is how impactful the podcast 71 00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:47,970 has been for me personally. 72 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,630 There's a lot I love and appreciate because I have the podcast. 73 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,180 I become somebody who can approach people easier. 74 00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:56,610 I have a better network of people to call upon when I need 'em. 75 00:03:57,030 --> 00:04:00,750 I get to meet new people all the time, from all walks of life and all over the 76 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:02,730 globe, and connect with 'em at a deeper. 77 00:04:03,825 --> 00:04:05,475 I have a voice to do what I love. 78 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:09,584 I'm always put into situations where I'm having to stretch and learn something new. 79 00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:12,584 I've really grown as a person and a professional since I started doing 80 00:04:12,584 --> 00:04:16,454 my podcast, and that was even before my show really started growing. 81 00:04:17,385 --> 00:04:20,685 I hired a company called Grow Your Show, who's our sponsor, by the way, 82 00:04:21,284 --> 00:04:22,545 and I wanted to share them with you. 83 00:04:23,025 --> 00:04:25,914 The owner, Adam, has one of the very best podcasts for teaching 84 00:04:25,914 --> 00:04:27,164 you how to be a podcaster. 85 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,175 I honestly wish I had found it sooner. 86 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,060 One thing that they've done to help me is to bring me to a much larger 87 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:36,240 listener base so that my voice is being heard around the world. 88 00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:40,200 There's a good chance, in fact that they helped us connect, but they 89 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,150 also do editing and post-production. 90 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:46,080 They can even help you launch and start your podcast, which could 91 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,170 really help you in your business or whatever you're trying to achieve. 92 00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,750 So I just wanted to give them a quick shout out. 93 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:55,560 I love to share great people and companies that I believe in, that I use person. 94 00:04:56,594 --> 00:04:59,294 So that's Grow Your show@growyourshow.com. 95 00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:03,015 I have a link in the show notes and if you have a podcast or you wanna start 96 00:05:03,015 --> 00:05:06,315 a podcast or you're thinking about it, just scroll down there, click that 97 00:05:06,315 --> 00:05:08,385 link and go work with my friend Adam. 98 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,125 He's gonna treat you right next try. 99 00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:11,655 Reassessing the original goal. 100 00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:14,265 Is the dream really dead? 101 00:05:15,224 --> 00:05:16,455 Is, is it really? 102 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:18,614 It might be not. 103 00:05:19,995 --> 00:05:25,275 It might be, might not be , you might find out you only needed to adjust the 104 00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:31,395 vision somewhat to make it more workable if you start something entirely new. 105 00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:35,775 Is there anything you can take from the original goal that might 106 00:05:35,775 --> 00:05:37,035 serve this new purpose you have? 107 00:05:39,135 --> 00:05:42,195 You know, sometimes we have a habit of passing judgment too. 108 00:05:44,085 --> 00:05:48,755 It, it, I, I joke cuz my kids like to laugh about, you know, they, 109 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,145 they make the joke from the movie. 110 00:05:50,145 --> 00:05:52,995 It's like, but I'll be like, you gotta do this. 111 00:05:52,995 --> 00:05:57,645 And they're like, but do I really, I mean, right. 112 00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,445 Is it really dead? 113 00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:05,745 Did, did it, was it a swing and a miss and you're just winding up for the next swing? 114 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,965 Or, or is it actually gone? 115 00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:10,410 Really analyze it. 116 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,350 You might just need a tweak or two to get you right back on path. 117 00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:18,540 Don't give up so easily leading into become more persistent. 118 00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:24,270 Nothing happens without hard work where huge advocates of just putting your 119 00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:26,370 nose down and putting in the rats here. 120 00:06:27,150 --> 00:06:29,100 So here's where resolve comes into play. 121 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:33,050 You're going to have to throw yourself into the new project. 122 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:38,265 Are the new version of the old project and just keep at it. 123 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,475 Remind yourself, why does this matter? 124 00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:42,945 Why am I even doing this? 125 00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:47,565 Dig deep into that why, again, if you're feeling particularly discouraged 126 00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:51,795 by your previous attempts, you might have to force yourself until you can 127 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:55,425 start to feel a little enthusiasm again, and that's where that why is 128 00:06:55,425 --> 00:06:58,125 really getting to just help strengthen. 129 00:06:58,980 --> 00:07:04,290 You, I, I've always been a big advocate of your why has to be really, really strong. 130 00:07:05,070 --> 00:07:07,110 And this is, this is the why. 131 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:08,190 The why has to be really strong. 132 00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:08,280 Okay. 133 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:08,790 That's funny. 134 00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:09,720 I didn't even try to do that. 135 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,360 This is why your why has to be really strong. 136 00:07:13,170 --> 00:07:15,630 So guys, just be more persistent with it. 137 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:17,520 Dig deep into that. 138 00:07:17,525 --> 00:07:19,800 Why don't, don't give up. 139 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,120 You, you can, you can roll through this one. 140 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,900 And the last thing is jump. 141 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:26,565 , right? 142 00:07:26,594 --> 00:07:28,155 I'm an all or nothing kind of person. 143 00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:31,635 Like I'm really notoriously bad about jumping in headfirst way 144 00:07:31,635 --> 00:07:33,825 over my head long before I'm ready. 145 00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:35,054 It might be a fault. 146 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,044 It might be a blessing. 147 00:07:36,049 --> 00:07:36,674 It's been both. 148 00:07:36,674 --> 00:07:40,484 Sometimes give yourself a day or two to mourn the previous disaster, 149 00:07:40,484 --> 00:07:41,655 if that's what you really need. 150 00:07:41,984 --> 00:07:45,315 It's not gonna help, but you know, just saying if that's what you really 151 00:07:45,315 --> 00:07:47,534 need, then get started on the next try. 152 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,594 Round two baby, jump right back into it. 153 00:07:50,594 --> 00:07:50,924 Right? 154 00:07:50,984 --> 00:07:53,174 They talk about getting back on the horse or back on the bike 155 00:07:53,174 --> 00:07:54,224 or whatever you like to ride. 156 00:07:55,125 --> 00:07:56,055 Now all this mind. 157 00:07:56,055 --> 00:07:57,075 Remember one more thing. 158 00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:01,275 Your disaster might not be the tragedy you initially thought it was. 159 00:08:02,145 --> 00:08:08,205 And even if you did have to readjust your goal, you're better for the experience. 160 00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:11,115 So as the song says, pull yourself up, dust yourself 161 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,885 off, and start all over again. 162 00:08:12,975 --> 00:08:13,395 Why? 163 00:08:13,575 --> 00:08:16,185 Because your dreams really do matter. 164 00:08:18,555 --> 00:08:21,145 Guys, give these a chance now. 165 00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:25,740 I know as the pessimist this, this sounds funny, but this is, 166 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:26,910 this is the tale of my life. 167 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:28,800 Crash and burn. 168 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,430 Crash and burn. 169 00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:29,940 Try it again. 170 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:30,450 Try it again. 171 00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:30,690 Guys. 172 00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:34,200 I've failed more times than I've ever succeeded in anything, and I 173 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,950 think you're gonna find that with most people who are honest, right? 174 00:08:37,955 --> 00:08:41,670 We, we knock ourselves out over and over and over again until we get it right. 175 00:08:42,930 --> 00:08:44,190 That goes a long way. 176 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,450 You have that resolved. 177 00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:49,800 If you really are passionate about doing, it's why yours White has to be strong and. 178 00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:55,574 Five or six steps will help you just jump into that next iteration, 179 00:08:55,574 --> 00:08:59,204 get back on that horse and get going again and chase your dreams. 180 00:09:00,495 --> 00:09:02,954 Guys, it's Friday, so I wanna share our user review. 181 00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:06,765 Uh, I'm so just blown away when you guys do these things for, 182 00:09:06,795 --> 00:09:08,925 with us and share your thoughts. 183 00:09:09,344 --> 00:09:12,795 Joe Ryder wrote Five Star Review, great content. 184 00:09:13,305 --> 00:09:13,604 Great. 185 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,490 Fa, fascinating topics I can't read today. 186 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,050 Sorry, it's a little print on my screen. 187 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,350 The fat man addresses everything from strong marriages to 188 00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:23,490 drug abuse and addiction. 189 00:09:23,850 --> 00:09:26,940 I'm a man who has a strong marriage, three brave sons, and a constant 190 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,380 struggle with an addictive pattern. 191 00:09:29,310 --> 00:09:32,160 While I don't connect with all the meth methods the guests speak 192 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,150 about, I'm deeply grateful for the work of men who help other men. 193 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,760 Collaboration is always the foundation of victory. 194 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,950 Thank you so much, Joe Rider. 195 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:45,150 I am so grateful when you guys share your thoughts and feelings with us. 196 00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:48,530 It helps us to get in front of more people and touch more life. 197 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:49,800 So thank you for that. 198 00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:56,010 And guys, if you are needed some help to conquer your goals, to build plans, 199 00:09:56,010 --> 00:10:03,610 to seek your life that you want, Then reach out at www.foulman.com/coaching. 200 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,190 Schedule a discovery call with me. 201 00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:11,310 Let's talk about how to help you make that next step, guys, just that one next step. 202 00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,980 I don't do long coaching sessions. 203 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,390 I do six or eight week sessions. 204 00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:19,620 I help you overcome whatever that hurdle is that is in your way, right? 205 00:10:21,165 --> 00:10:24,135 And then you're, you're out on your own again, unless you really want to go 206 00:10:24,135 --> 00:10:26,954 crazy, the guys, I wanna see you succeed. 207 00:10:26,954 --> 00:10:27,795 I believe in you. 208 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,114 The world needs you. 209 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,214 Thanks for listening, guys. 210 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,505 I love it that you spend time with us. 211 00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:35,685 Be better tomorrow because what you do today, and we'll see you on the next one. 212 00:10:36,494 --> 00:10:38,925 This has been the Fellow Man podcast. 213 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,944 Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. 214 00:10:43,694 --> 00:10:46,035 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 215 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,925 Head over to www. 216 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:54,704 The Fallible man.com for more content and get your own Fallible man gear.